Roy stood leaning against the door frame outside the front door of Ollie's home, it was late, he wasn't sure how late, but he could feel a slight dampness in the air that indicated it was well after midnight. The streets were quiet, no one was around. He walked silently over to the stairs and sat down, clad only in sweat pants, the chill in the night air made him shiver slightly but he didn't care, in fact it felt good, at least it was a feeling he could stop if he wanted to, he could just go back inside into the warmth. But these other feelings, the ones he battled with everyday couldn't be stopped so easily. Confusion, hurt, fear, hopelessness and a myriad of other emotions had made their presence known over the last couple of weeks, he'd had to fight the anger bubbling inside that threatened to explode to the surface at any moment, anger over the situation he found himself in, anger because he couldn't remember what had happened, anger with others for wanting to help and thus far failing, angry with himself for more things than he could even list.

He paused in his thoughts to look up at the sky frustrated when the city lights and pollution made it nearly impossible to see many stars, he craved the wide open spaces of Arizona, he'd often take Lian and go there when he needed to de-stress and get away from the turmoil that so often plagued his life. He would lie back for hours watching the stars, loving the delighted squeals of "Look Daddy." Lian would give when she spotted the odd satellite straying across the sky above them.

"Can't sleep son?" Ollie's voice wafted from the door behind him.

Roy stood up and turned to lean against the stair rail. "Na…..brains to active."

"Well there's a first." Ollie quipped.

Roy snorted softly at the joke. "Like you can talk genius."

Ollie smiled. "I'm not the idiot standing outside in the cold with no shirt on."

"Ha" Roy said.

"Ok no smart comeback, now I'm worried. You gonna come inside and talk or what?" Ollie asked.

Roy bristled, "I'm sick of talking about it, toldja I don't remember anything."

"I said come in and talk, I never said we had to talk about what happened, or what you remember…….Just talk kid, doesn't hafta be about any of that shit, better than standing out here in the cold…….Unless you get kicks out of you nipples standing on end?"

Roy chuckled loudly, "As if man"

Ollie laughed "Whatever rocks your boat son."

Roy walked past Ollie and back inside giving him a playful punch on the shoulder as he went by.

A short while later coffee's in hand the two men sat at the kitchen table, an uncomfortable silence stretched between them for a few minutes, before Roy blurted "I thought about taking Lian and going."

Ollie stared intently at Roy for a few seconds, the younger mans eye's locking briefly with his own before glancing away uncomfortably. "Going where?" he asked.

"Anywhere away from here, where there's space, where no one can find us, where I can think clearly." Roy looked down at his hands that were wrapped around his coffee cup.

Ollie sighed, "You mean run." He knew where this was coming from, Roy knew as well as he did that it was only a matter of time before the Police had their case together, and if that happened before they could find out the truth and prove Roy's innocence……well he didn't even want to think about what would inevitably occur then.

Roy looked up, startled at the way the word run had sounded. "No not run." He snapped

"Then what would you call it?" Ollie asked, keeping his voice quiet and calm.

"I'd call it………..It's not……..well…….It'd be running I guess." Roy finished quietly, hanging his head.

"Roy, you've faced some big issues in your life, but the one thing that makes you a better man than most, that makes me proud to know you, is that once you realize what those issue's are…. Once you've made a mistake or have to deal with something, you don't run….you suck it in and face it and deal with it….Shit you wouldn't have Lian with you now if you weren't so damned determined to face your responsibilities..." Before Ollie could continue Roy cut him off.

" Ok, ok, you don't hafta worry about it, I'm not going to do it, I just thought about it is all, I wouldn't do it because of Lian, because she's not ready to trust me again yet…because she needs you guys around her to help her through it……Because she deserves better….I..just feel like everything's crowding in and the only way out is to run away from it, not the situation but the feelings….I just need it to end." Roy broke off and looked at Ollie, pain and confusion obvious in his eyes "Those other issue's you mentioned….Most of the time I knew what went wrong, what I did, where I'd stuffed up, I could face them and deal with them because I knew what I was dealing with…..This time I don't have the faintest idea, I don't know if I did this or why or how…..I can't face an enemy I can't see…..I don't know what to do."

Ollie paused, wishing he had an answer that could ease the pain Roy felt, but knowing there wasn't any easy answers for this situation, "Roy…..I wish I could say I knew the answers…That I knew how to make this easier for you….We both know I don't….But we also have to stay optimistic as hard as that may be it's the only way your going to get through this whole thing...Look kid worst comes to worst there's still a lot of aces up our sleeves, we've still got time, we will sort this out……you can trust me on that kid."

Roy sighed, realizing how tired he really felt, he wished he could say this conversation was making him feel better but it wasn't, nothing would unless he woke up in the morning with all he memories back, even then he might not like what he remembered. "I trust you Ollie, you know that…..But even if we sort this out…..even when it's over…I still have to tell Lian her Mothers dead….I still have to face that yet and I don't know how I'm going to do it."

"Son your thinking too far ahead, in times like this you can't be doing that, that's half the reason your heads so messed at the moment, you gotta only be thinking in the short term, only what's happening in the next day or so, not what's happening way down the track. If you want to ease off on yourself and reduce the amount of energy your channeling into all that thinking you've got to make it a goal to take one thing at a time, if you don't your gonna burn out, and how's that going to work for you hey?...How's that going to help Lian?"

Roy rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Your right I know….I'll try man, I'll try….Only think about tomorrow right?...I can do that but now that it's almost time to get up…..I'm going back to bed, cause you wear me out man." Roy stood and flashed Ollie a smile that didn't meet his eyes. "Later dude, it's been fun."

Ollie watched as Roy walked towards his room not quite sure if Roy's last comment was a dark attempt at humor, or a sarcastic way of saying he felt worse. Putting his elbows on the table Ollie buried his face in his hands "Shit." He spat in frustration.

end part 6