Killing Him Softly: Hope
by tarskeewee08
3 Weeks Later
Nora now able to receive visitors waited patiently for John to arrive. She'd been up and coherent for a week and her daughter just told her about Evangeline. Watching the news this morning her face flashed up with no new leads. The FBI was now involved and Warden Glenn was under investigation but there were no clues to what happened to her beloved friend.
She called John and demanded he come. He sounded horrible. Bo told her that he was worst than KC. He rarely slept and manned a search effort that was 24 hours.
Hearing her door opened she gasped at the sight of him. His eyes had dark circles and were blood shot red. His suit was wrinkled and looked like he'd been wearing it for days. His face unshaven made him look almost homeless.
"My god John!"
He smiled at her weakly. "Hey Nora, how are you?"
"Me? What about you…are you okay?"
John rubbed his eyes and then scratched his jaw. "No…"
"Come here" she said pointing at the chair next to her bed.
"What happened to our girl?"
"Looks like the same people that abducted Christian have her. My Federal contacts feel that she may have been taken from the country."
"God no.."
"I've turned over every inch of this town and she's not here. The Mayor is closing down my task unit and turning it over to the Feds."
"John…" Nora said bursting into tears.
John touched Nora's hand and let tears fall down his face. "I will search to the end of the earth to find her Nora. I'll never give up."
"Why would someone take her? How could this happen?"
"It's my fault. I failed her. I…."
Nora touched his face. "No John, this isn't your fault. You should no more than anyone that you can't protect the world."
John stood up and started to pace. "I kept Christian's identity a secret! I was the reason that this happened."
"Wait….Christian identity what are you talking about?"
John looked at her and realized she had no idea of all that's happened. He went back to her and told her the whole story. Her face darkened with anger. "How could you!" she snapped. John shook his head not sure what to say.
"Does
Natalie know?" Nora asked
"I told her when Evangeline went
missing. She moved out and back home."
"Is Christian dead?"
"I don't know Nora…I have to find her. It's been three
weeks. I don't know what's happening to her."
Nora wiped at her tears. "John this is a mess. What about her family?"
"Layla and her mom have been at the station everyday. I can't face them. I can't tell them that they've called off the search."
"This can't be happening. Why would they take her like this? What are we going to do?"
John spent most of his days in complete agony. He drank more and slept less. Her abduction was killing him softly. Each day that passed with no word of her he felt like a cancer was eating away at his gut and if he didn't find her he wouldn't survive it. Going to Nora and holding her they cried together.
"I don't what to do, all I can do is keep trying to find her….I can't give up" he said weakly
One Month Later
John sat in his office staring at his computer. He was checking on the investigation with the Bureau. He reapplied for a field agent position but he was running into a lot of red tape. He hadn't given up hope that she was alive out there.
His contact Wess told him that there was a case that mirrored Christian Vegas abduction. It classified but it may give him a clue as to where she was. It was called "The Panther." It was the only clue to finding her.
Hearing a knock on the door he looked up to see Lisa Williamson peek inside. "Can I come in?"
"Of course Ms. Williamson" John said sitting up surprised to see her. She left 2 weeks ago and went back to Philly.
"How are you John?" she asked her eyes heavy with sadness.
"Not good Ms. Williamson and you?"
Lisa burst into tears and John got up from his desk going to her. He knelt to her and pulled her into a hug. "I haven't given up on her. I know she's alive."
"She isn't alive John, there's no way she would be alive and not contact me. I would know it if she was alive! My precious cookie is gone!"
John stood up and glared at her "No! She isn't!"
Lisa looked up at him and understood his anger and denial. She was so tired of battling the same emotions. She needed some peace. "John, we're having a memorial service for Cookie in Philly next week. I came to town to close up her condo and collect her things."
"What! It's only been less than two months. Why would you do that?" John asked backing away from her angrily. "I won't let you write her off like that! These people that have her they could…."
"They could what? Do you think I could live with the idea that my child is out there being tortured and none of you know where she is! Do you think I can sleep knowing that she's suffering and I can't protect her?"
John shook his head "Don't say that, she's fine, she's strong I know it. I will find her and bring her home."
Lisa dropped her head crying. "Oh god….I want her to be alive….I really do….but I can't do this! I can't function like this. Lord help me!"
John let tears fall and closed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of this. He was on the brink of hysteria everyday.
He woke up to her pictures all over his wall at home with maps next to it circling leads. He spends 4 days out of the week in either New York or DC trying to get information on the one solid lead he has "Panther" and nothing.
Either people know and want to keep him in the dark or she is really lost to him. He can't handle either option. He loves her and she doesn't know it. He wants his Evangeline back.
Opening his eyes he sees Lisa rising. She hands him an obituary with Evangeline's face on the cover "I spoke to Layla and she says that Evangeline would've wanted you there. So please come." she said weakly and then turning and leave.
John watched her go closing the door and balled the obituary up in his hands. "I won't give up on you baby….I will find you!" he hissed
6 Months Later
Nora walked into John's office seeing she wasn't too late. He was packing the last of his stuff "So this is it?"
John looked up at her and smiled sadly "Yes it is…my
flight leaves in the morning."
Closing the door she comes in
further and looks at John "You still believe she's alive?"
"I
know she is!" John says emptying his top draw in his box."
"John
it's been almost 7 months."
"I don't want to talk about it
Nora."
"Where do you go from here?"
"Monaco"
"Monaco?"
"Yes…I got assigned to Panther. I
will be meeting my team there."
"You think this Panther has
her?"
"I do…"
"John…if she was alive why wouldn't
she contact us? Or her family?"
"I don't know Nora but I
plan to find out."
Nora watches him clear out his desk and feels an overwhelming since of loss. He used every dime he had to fly overseas in search of this Panther. He had her and Bo hound the Bureau to get him reinstated. He was desperate to believe that Evangeline was out there. God she hoped he was right. She missed her friend so desperately.
"John if you find her please let me know. Anything good or bad I want to know"
John looked up at her. "I will Nora I promise" he said walking around and hugging her.
"Nora I know you all think I'm crazy or obsessed and maybe you're right. But I love her so desperately and I will not stop looking for her until I can tell her that and bring her home."
Nora smiled and let him go. "Good Luck sweetie."
"Thank you"
Just then Natalie came in. "Excuse me…"
Nora
looked back at her and smiled. Turning back to John she touched his
face "Bye John take care" she said before leaving.
Natalie smiled at him "So the rumors are true, you're leaving?"
John sat on the edge of his desk "Yeah I'm going back to the Bureau."
Natalie shook her head sadly "You won't stop looking for her will you?"
"No I won't"
Walking in closer
to him she smiled sadly "Did you ever love me John?"
"Natalie
I don't want to do this now."
"Let's I may never see you
again I have to know."
"I loved protecting you. It made me
feel whole."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I was never in love with you. It means I was selfish to both you and Evangeline. I manipulated and controlled your hearts convincing myself that I knew what was best. Truth be told I used you and I ran from her."
"John I was there remember? It wasn't all you using me, we had something."
"Whatever it was Natalie it never held a candle to what I had with her. It never compared."
"So what you are just going to chase her ghost for the rest of you life?" she hissed
John looked Natalie up and down. Her immaturity was one of the things he found endearing. It made her controllable. It made her easy for him to hide from his real feelings. Now it was just plain aggravating.
"It doesn't matter what I do. I just think you should move on with your life."
"Don't worry I plan too. Good luck with your ghost! You two deserve each other!" she snapped walking out.
John smirked. "Whatever"
Looking at his watch he knew he had to get out of here soon. He had to put something's in storage then pack. Grabbing his box he saw Michael through his blinds heading to his office. He stopped exchange some words with Natalie as she stormed out. Michael opened the door and came inside.
"Glad I caught you bro."
John
lowered his box and smiled "Came to say goodbye?"
"Sure did,
I'm really going to miss you man" he said hugging him.
"I
will be in touch"
"Sure you will, I know you man it will be
like it was before I may get an email here and there and have to go
through mom for any updates on your life."
John laughed. "Well
either way you are my brother so I will never be too far
away."
"Have you gotten anymore leads on Evangeline?"
John's face darkened "No…"
"I
think she's alive too John, where or why she is gone escapes me but
I believe you."
John looked at him and smiled. "Thanks Mike
that helped. I was beginning to think that I was the only one that
had any hope left."
Mike smiled "Be careful man, you have
no idea what you are facing."
John nodded "I'm going to see
the Glenn in his cell before I leave."
Charles Glenn was the former warden of Statesville. An investigation into the corrupt prison system he ran caused convictions for him and the majority of the staff. He has refused every attempt John has made to meet with him. He was the last person to see her alive.
John took another chance requesting a meeting and to his surprise he said yes. He was anxious to get to the jail and find out why Glenn would talk him to now and what he could tell him about Van.
The Next Day
John waited in the cubicle for Glenn to appear. The warden appeared 10 minutes later a 100 pounds lighter. His hair thinning and face taunt he looked like he was having a hard time in jail.
Picking up the phone as Glenn did his voice cracked "Glenn, I want to know what happened to her."
Glenn smirked "Me too…"
"Cut the shit….what happened that night?"
"I granted this meeting because I was told to deliver you a message."
John frowned "What message?"
"Forget about Evangeline Williamson and the
Panther. If you get to close she will die."
John chest
tightened. He knew she was alive and this was confirmation. "She's
alive?" he asked shocked.
Glenn smiled "Very much
so."
"Where is she Glenn, tell me…"
"John I like you, so I will give you this much. She's alive and as along as you stay away she will remain that way. Look for her John and you could cost her life. They know you went back to the Bureau. They're watching you John and he won't let her go."
John felt his grip tighten on the phone. Some maniac had her and was doing god knows what. His desperation got the most of him. "What the hell have they done to her?"
"Good Luck John, you'll need it." he said hanging up and walking away. John slammed the phone against the glass and screamed
"Glenn! Where is she! What did they do to her!" Dammit answer me!"
Clenching his fist he swallowed the bile in his throat from his stomach bubbling. He was so sick with worry and grief over loosing her the way he did he couldn't think straight. But he had hope.
He believed she was alive and finally he had confirmation. He wouldn't' stop until he found her.
