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II
Life Isn't Enough
Chapter Two: Relationships
II
"We need to talk," Kairi told me over the phone.
But I wasn't listening to her. My mind was still stuck on Riku so high above me, so high that I could never jump up to reach him. He'd made it to Aunt Muffy's the day after we parted and called me that night, but he was coming home soon. It had been an eternity. Now, if only I could survive a week. I was mulling over the idea of sleeping through it all when Kairi sighed loudly, jerking me back to reality. "Huh?" I asked intelligently.
"Meet me at the park today, at noon." It wasn't a question, and it wasn't really a statement or command. It was a demand.
I was going to do the least intelligent thing I could have and protest, but she hung up with a quirky little, "See you there," and I was left to wonder and dread.
"Girls." Click.
Because the powers that be decreed it so, and otherwise because they generally don't like me, I found myself in the park a little after noon, wandering around in my blue jersey with my hands stuffed in my pockets and a lollipop in my mouth. I came upon Kairi sitting on the bench where I could usually find Riku, gazing at her watch with rapt attention. It was not a sight I expected, and I crunched down on the lollipop inadvertantly. Damn. Ruined a perfectly good lollipop.
I threw the stick away and spat out the pieces. Riku knew better than anyone that I absolutely refused to eat crushed lollipop. Kairi, on the other hand, didn't seem to have picked up on this specific detail, though, since she was staring at me now. Or rather, at the trash can. "That is disgusting," she stated in a tone that left no room for argument.
Fine. I didn't feel much like arguing. "What's up, Kairi?"
"You're ten minutes late," she told me, pointing to her watch. "Eleven, now."
There was a set time? "But I'm here already!"
" 'Already' is a bit of a stretch. I told you to come at noon," she reminded me, eyes narrowing.
All right. She was getting on my nerves. "Look, I'm here, aren't I? Can we just talk now?"
Kairi slipped to one side to make room. She had the violet purse that had recently become one of her usual ornaments, but she was clearly just back from a workout. Her short scarlet hair was damp with sweat and she was wearing her pink jogging suit. Most girls wouldn't be caught dead looking like that in public, but Kairi's cool like that.
"I wanted to talk to you about, you know, us," she said then, not meeting my eyes. "Like, where's our relationship going, what're we doing here?"
Us? We were an "us" now? This was new. I had probably been missing hints and nudges for a while, knowing me. And knowing Kairi. Why do girls always have to be so subtle? "Uh…I don't know," I said carefully, making absolutely sure that those words didn't carry a hidden bomb that would explode in my face. "I guess I need to think it over."
She brightened at that. "All right, then. I'll do that, too. I guess I'm not sure myself." She stood, pushing her hair behind her ear as she did so. "I'll talk to you later. I've got a five o'clock stretch session."
I watched her jog away, dreading again. She knew already, of course. They always know. That's what I learned from television. But girls don't give us guys enough credit—we see it, yeah, we know when they're onto us. It's just that we figure, if she wants something to happen, she'll make it happen. Not us. Fortunately enough for me, I had grown to recognize this through the wonder of television.
Not that I chose to do anything about it.
The truth was, I frankly couldn't see myself in a relationship with Kairi. She was so dramatically different from me that I was amazed we even had a friendship. Where I liked to fool around with Riku and enjoy such things as candy and ice cream, she preferred to look through fashion magazines, hang out with her identical friends, and eat all sorts of veggies because "they're good for you." I guess we must have been more alike in the fifth grade.
II
Mom was cooking when I got home, phone cradled on her shoulder while she stirred. She looked up once and smiled at me, mouthing "Hi, honey." She was growing older now, too, and was now dying her hair to a shiny black where it used to be red before. After having me, her slim figure had rounded out a bit, but not as much as Mrs. Yume's. Her face was growing older and tired, but she was aging well. Most of the wrinkles were only smile lines that seemed almost to disappear whenever she beamed in that infectious smile she'd passed on to me.
I waved hello and went to my room, pulling off the jersey and tossing it onto the chair with a few clothes I'd conveniently forgotten to hang up. Stepping over a pile of stuff I didn't really recognize, I flopped onto my bed and picked up the phone absent-mindedly, preparing to dial Riku. But I stopped dead when I heard voices on the line, recalling for the first time that Mom had been talking on the phone.
"…but, Ms. Hikari, I'm afraid you're only falling deeper and deeper into debt. If you don't start paying your bills soon, we might have to see each other in court."
At first I was going to hang up immediately, but when I heard that I clutched the reciever in a death grip, listening and hardly daring to breath in case Mom heard.
There was a silence on the other end with the exception of the faint sound of stirring, and then Mom spoke in a soft tone. "It's only temporary. A few things have come up. I'll be getting money soon."
"I suggest that you get help from one of the debt support agencies. This is growing serious, Mrs. Hikari. You could lose everything."
"I don't need help," she retorted sharply, and I recognized the spark of determination in her voice. Mom had always told me she would never take help from anyone because she could raise me on her own, as an independent single mother. And I believed her then. But now, if there were people calling us to collect, why couldn't she just own up and get help?
The man on the other end sighed. "I'm only trying to help. You have children, don't you? You're going to need to send them to college, but unless you get some of these things sorted out, you're not going to be able to do that."
"You don't know the first thing about my son," Mom replied. "He's going to college, I promise you that."
There was a click, and I quickly hung up the phone before Mom realized I was listening. It was mind-boggling. Here I was, thinking everything was okay. I knew we couldn't afford a lot of stuff, but I didn't know we were drowning even as I woke up and went to school only to mess around. If I was going to go to college, I had to fix my grades quickly so I could get a scholarship.
But right now I needed someone to talk to. The secret was hovering on my lips, and I needed to tell it to someone before it found its way to the wrong ears. So I dialed Riku and waited for him to pick up the phone. It rang three times, and then I heard Aunt Muffy's voice come over on the answering machine. I frowned, feeling fear leap up in my throat. Had something happened?
There was a click. "Nice time to call a guy."
"Huh? What's going on?"
"Nothing, it's just too early."
Oh, right, I remembered, hitting myself in the forehead. Time zones. "Sorry."
"No big. I'm a little cranky because I've been sick."
"Are you okay?"
"Yep. Couldn't be better."
I blinked in confusion for a moment before I realized Riku had pulled a Here's Your Sign. "You're not dying or anything, are you?" I repeated after a groan. My nerves were beginning to wither.
"No, minor case of nausea. Aunt Muffy's been treating me like an atom bomb."
"Riku?" I heard faintly in the background. "…sure you're…not feeling bad…are you?"
"She'll want me to get off the phone—it's okay, I'm just talking to Sora," he explained louder, his voice slightly muffled by a hand over the mouthpiece. There was a pause. "I'm talking to Sora," he repeated even louder. Aunt Muffy was a bit hard of hearing. "Geez," he muttered when he got back to me. "Sorry 'bout that. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I replied a bit stiffly. He was sick—I couldn't tell him about the debt. That would only make things worse. "Kairi wanted to talk to me today."
"Oh?"
"She wants to know where our relationship is going."
Riku let out a whoop. "Sora's got a girl! What'd you say?"
"I said I needed to think about it."
"You idiot! You should've just said yes."
"Yeah, well…" I shrugged for some reason, even though I knew he couldn't see it. "I don't think she's really my type. That and I don't really want her…to mess up our friendship or anything."
There was a silence, and then Riku let out a laugh that sounded faintly self-mocking. "You don't have to worry about me, Sora. I don't mind if you get a girlfriend. Really. I'm happy for you."
His words sounded genuine, but I also knew Riku was a slick liar. "But I…" I stopped there. I don't really know what I was going to say, but I suddenly ran out of words and couldn't say it.
"Yes?" Riku's voice was slightly eager.
Mom called for me to hang up because she was expecting a call. "One more minute," I called back. "Listen, Riku," I said then, suddenly needing very badly to tell him. "Mom hasn't been telling me, but I just listened in on her conversation, and apparently we're in debt and she might not be able to send me to college. We might…we might lose everything," I added, the words sinking in even as I said them.
Riku didn't reply for a moment, but when he did, it was in a reassuring tone. "It'll be okay, Sora. I'll tell my folks when I get back, and we'll help you get back on your feet. You better think twice if you think I'm not gonna help you get to college—we're gonna be roommates, remember?"
I smiled, recalling the promise from last year when we started high school together. "Yeah. Okay." From the moment I heard the words out of him, I knew everything was going to be okay and I didn't have to worry about a thing. Riku always took care of it. Just a week now.
