"I'm sorry for all that I've done. I was behaving like a child and I'm sorry. Through all these things that have happened in the last few months, we've both messed up but that's what marriage is. It's about forgiveness. And I'll be here when you are truly here for me. I've hurt you deeply, turned from you. And you, well, lately you've been hurting me more than most ever before just by the way you look at me. It's insane. And I'd love it so much if you could just be back with me again. But sometimes I ask myself, what is love? It's broken promises, jealously, lust… It would be easy to pin the blame of this onto you. I can't do anything the way I used to, I can't smile the way I used to. Some of the closest people I know are upset with me, and it's around you. I could easily blame you. Because it is your fault. But really, it's both of us. And I love you so much. If I didn't, it wouldn't be able to hurt like it does. And I just wish you'd look into my eyes the way you used to. Be the way you used to. I hate how you've changed, and I just want us to be together… Is that too much to ask, baby? I'm tired of saying I love you, tired of feeling this emptiness. The world isn't enough, and I'm sick of going after the moon for you."


Splash some water on your face, Nate. Shave off the shadow. Run a toothbrush over your teeth, gel the hair, and throw on some clean shirt. Then look in the mirror and force your face to contort until the expression is unreadable. Stop being such a wuss, Nate. Stop those tears leaking from your eyes. Stop running your finger over that ring. Act like you don't care, and get ready to face her again.


You're moping again, James. Brooke's going to skin you if you keep this up for much longer. The guitar is beside you, go on, and play. Chris can help you, go on, and work with him. Lucas is always up for some quality best friend time, call him. Why can't I stop thinking about him? His blood runs in me, his heart a part of me. And just because he thinks he can reach in and tear himself completely out of me doesn't mean that I can't feel him. And I hate him for it. Hate me for it.

He kissed me. I felt his lips, saw him there, smelt the slight cologne. It was a different scent. He changed his cologne. His lips felt different, harsher. He can act like nothing happened. He can pretend it was nothing. But this isn't a high school crush, this is my husband. And I'm going to make him see that there is no one else and nothing else that can stand in our way.

Stop bloody crying. Make yourself look presentable. He will never come back if you look like this. But he wants me still… I can feel it. Whether or not it's just my desperation that's making me see the tiny movement of his arm when I walk by, I choose to believe I can get through to him. He can make me feel like such a fool. What gives him that right?


"I can't stand you being upset with me." She finally said it. And she was not leaving until things were patched up.

"That's too damn bad, Haley. You were, let's just say it, a bitch." Peyton Sawyer crossed her arms. "And you don't deserve all the mourning Nate did for you, don't deserve all the thoughts that revolved around you. You don't deserve anything."

"Listen, Brooke and I are getting along better than us two which throws the universe out of balance. Peyton, we were great friends and I will not let you push that away because of something that is between me and him. Say what you want, but it isn't really your business. Yeah, he's your friend. Yeah, you think I abandoned him and treated him like crap. I'm trying to make up for it. And I'm trying to make things right. I screwed up, move on with your life, God knows I have. If Brooke can forgive you for skanking out and betraying her trust by sleeping with the man she loved, than you right now are just being a huge baby. Jake left and that's horrible but don't you dare punish me for something he did." Peyton slapped her across the face the moment the words left her mouth.

"Don't talk about things you weren't around to witness, Haley James." She said in a dangerous voice.

"It's Scott." She said automatically.

"Not for long." Peyton said and took a step away. But Haley had flung a glass of water at the blonde, stopping her in her tracks.

"I wanted us to be friends, but if you want to sulk than that's your problem. Just don't snark at me every time you see me." Haley shook her head. "And keep your comments to yourself."

"We were never more than strangers." Peyton quietly stated before walking away. "Never."

Haley watched the blonde girl walk away from her and clenched her hand in a fist. Nothing would be the same, nothing would be easy. She slid to the floor and leaned her head against the wall. Her eyes combed over the sturdy school walls, the colourful banners, everything that made it so typically high school. She was a senior but she would never feel as if she belonged here, not anymore.

"Hales." A soft voice, so warm, always comforting spoke up. Without answering, Haley just shut her eyes and reached for his hand. He crouched down next to her and squeezed her hand. "I think it's getting redundant to ask if you're all right."

She smiled and shifted closer to him. "Peyton isn't letting it go."

"She's stubborn, and she's been hurt badly. Give her time. You know you hurt a lot of people when you left." He said.

"Peyton hates me. Nathan hates me. Tree Hill is just shutting me out." She said very quietly, her voice small and sad.

"They don't hate you. They're just hurt." He soothed. "And you know I love you, and I always will, no matter what."

"I don't deserve you." Haley laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. "You are the only one who has always been there for me, Luke."

"It was you and me against everyone else." His mouth quirked up.

"We were a bit melodramatic, weren't we?" Haley chuckled. She looked down. "Of course, then I had to mess it all up and ignore your advice. You always told me that Nathan would break my heart."

"I just had to get closer to Peyton Sawyer, didn't I? Went against my friends, my life to join that basketball team and ended up hurting everyone who was there for me before I was popular." Lucas reminisced.

"We're going to have a pity party starting soon." She gently said.

"We've got too much going for us to host a pity party." He said. "Haley, you've got friends, raw talent, a husband, and a loving family. It's time to look at what you have instead of what you don't. Nathan is going through a phase, he'll get over it. You were once Haley James, quiet, a little quirky, and always wonderful. I miss her."

"I haven't changed, Lucas." She said.

"No, you really have. Go back to your roots a bit. Find who you are at the core. That's who Nate loves, that's who I love." Lucas said, firmly. He stood up and reached out a hand for her to take. "Come on, no more moping." Haley smiled and nodded, taking the hand and giving her friend a warm hug. She kissed his cheek lightly and linked arms with him.

"Don't ever change, okay?" she murmured.

"Can't promise that." He answered. "But I'll take you with me, okay?" She just smiled.


I still dream of your smile, the laugh, your eyes

The touch of your skin, the texture of your hair

The words that you told me, every last one

The seconds you turned from me, every last one

The footsteps never to come to me again

The friendships forever broken

The lives forever ruined, affected, warped

Life takes us to strange places

There will be worse times, this I know

There will be colder times, there will be harder words

And when it turns warm again

I'm doubting that it will be you I see

Truly now I'm beginning to see

Someone else will come, someone else to hold me

Someone else will be there for you

Someone else will make you laugh, touch you like I once did

We''ll be strangers one day

And sometimes I laugh at the thought

Love is not unshakable, this lesson I have ingraved

It hurts so badly to let go of you, to drop your hand

But sometimes it cuts that much worse to hold on