"Hey." Lucas's soft voice slid gently through the room, breaking the rare silence in the familiar room that he had spent countless hours in.

Peyton was lying on her bed, her eyes lost and troubled. She didn't even need to look up. "You're never going to knock, are you?"

"I haven't needed to yet, why start now?" he answered with a grin. "Though your locking skills are going to keep me up at night worrying about you."

"I've lived here all my life and I've never been broken into." She said distantly.

"But mainly you just love having these visits from your awesome friends, of course." He was purposely being light and Peyton saw through it.

"I know why you're here." She said dully.

Lucas leaned against the doorframe. Her cool manner had caused him a bit of hesitation and he thought it better to not invade her personal space. He raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

"You're concerned about me, and you're going to launch into a speech about how you're always there for me. 'Don't shut yourself away from people, Peyton.' 'Don't take out your anger on your friends, Peyton.' 'Completely forget everything Haley did to us and pretend nothing's changed, Peyton.'" She muttered, a little edgily.

Lucas sighed. He left his position by the door and sat down on a chair near the bed. She always could read what was going on in his mind. "I was going to sound a bit less self righteous than that, but you've got the gist. Am I that predictable?"

"Yes." Peyton answered, still transfixed on the ceiling. "Especially these days. You only come when you want me to do something, or to relieve your guilty conscience."

"That's not true-" he tried to protest.

Peyton finally set her gaze on him. "When I was doing drugs to get away from my life, when I was labelled a dyke, when Jake left… where were you? You said you'd be there for me. When I needed you the most, you were with Brooke. And Brooke was with Felix. Nathan and Haley were a little preoccupied, and it was then that I realized how few friends I really had."

Lucas looked stricken. "I-I know we drifted a bit, but-"

"Don't lie to yourself, you left my life completely." Her voice held no resentment, it was matter-of-fact…almost indifferent.

"Drugs, Peyton?" he asked, still in shock.

"Drugs, Lucas." At his look of mixed surprise, disappointment, and concern, she added, "No, I'm not still doing them. I only tried it once. But I almost bought more. That was the night Jake came back."

"That's so not like you! You can't be so reckless; do you know how dangerous that was? No matter what's going on in your life you should never feel bad enough to do that to yourself!" he was being preachy, but at the moment he didn't care.

"Cut the lecture, fair-weather friend." She rolled her eyes. Lucas looked wounded. Peyton ignored it. "Look, if you're going to tell me to give Haley some slack, save it. She was one of my best friends and she got up and left without a word, crushing the world of my other good friend in the process. Maybe you can look past her selfishness but I won't. And before you say it, I know you're going to say that this is all because Jake left, and it's not."

"People always leave." Lucas muttered.

"Haley came back like the prodigal son. She can't expect things to just fall into place, not after what she's done. There are consequences. I know she's your best friend and you don't want her to suffer, but she's not some victim I've been lashing out at. I have a right to be angry." Peyton was ranting now, she was being defensive.

"You told Nathan that sometimes people come back, and you were right. She came back. I know she's got a tough road, but she already has to face Nathan. I'm not asking you to pretend to be okay with her, I'm asking you to be civil with her. For her sake, and for mine." He said.

"She doesn't deserve it." Peyton bit out.

"Maybe you think that, but that's not the point. Forgiveness happens because people need it. Haley is facing her consequences. You're just being stubborn, and no matter what you say, I still think the main reason you're doing this to her is because you can't be mad at Jake. You can't be mad at your dad, and you certainly can't be mad at your mom." He knew he touched a nerve. Peyton clenched her teeth and sat up in her bed. Her eyes were on fire. "I don't know all the details to the situation. But I want to know. You're closing yourself off, as if you're trying to seal your emotions away so no one can hurt you anymore. But you can't do that."

"Why the hell not? I poured my hearts out to you people, and you walk away when I'm drained." She snapped.

"Shutting me out, locking yourself in your room all the time, it's just going to hurt you, and hurt me." He gently reached his hand out and cupped her chin. "I want to be in your life."

Peyton angrily swiped his hand away. "When you and Brooke are together again, you'll both ignore me just as you did before. Stop making empty promises! Just get out! I don't want you in my life; you don't even know me anymore! There's nothing left in me to give to you, Lucas Scott. You people took everything! There's nothing left." Against her will, her voice rose in a near yell, but it slowly fizzled out to a throaty whisper. Her eyes were going to water soon, she could feel it. "If you give me one more false hope, I'm going to crumble completely. I'm dead inside!"

In a moment, she was aware of Lucas's strong arms enveloping her in a hug, she could smell the fresh laundry smell on his shirt mixed with the smell of his soap and shampoo, along with a scent that was simply Lucas. The mixture was so familiar… but so, so ancient to her that she found herself leaning into him, her eyes tightly shut. It wasn't until she re-opened her eyes and saw the wet spot she had created on his soft gray shirt that Peyton realized she was crying.

"You're more alive than most people I know." He spoke in that same soft voice she always wanted to record and memorize forever. At the sound of his voice, Peyton jolted back in control and harshly pushed the blonde away from her. She wiped at her eyes in frustration.

"Stop it. I'm not going to fall for your fake act of concern. Not this time." She shook her head. "Get out."

"Peyton-" Lucas stressed her name out beseechingly, desperately.

"No. No more." She yelled.

"I'm not leaving." His voice was firm. "I don't leave my friends when they need me, not when I can help it. I screwed up, I know that. And I've learned from my mistakes. I'm never going to ignore your pain again, okay?"

"Jake said he wasn't running anymore." Her voice had cracked, and try as she might she couldn't make in emotionless again. "He said, he said he loved me. Told me all the things I've been waiting so long to hear, only to walk away. And I know it's not his fault, I know it, but I can't make it stop hurting… He promised, Luke." The damn tears were leaking again and her shoulders were shuddering with sobs.

"I'm not Jake." Lucas soothed. "You can yell at me and insult me all you want, because I'm going to be here through it all. I know you've had more than your fair share of pain, I know people in your life don't seem to be stable, but I'd sooner die than be another one of those people in your life who leaves." He said.

"You can't know what'll happen in the future." She said.

"We control our lives, Peyton. No one else. And you and Haley have both been there for me more times than I could possibly imagine, without you I'd have become a recluse or insane by now. I'm not going anywhere because we have to stick together, Peyton. Life sucks but you can't stop living it."

"I think you've reached your speech quota for the day." Peyton managed to smile, just a little. "For you, I guess I could be less artic towards Haley."

"Can you promise to talk to me? About anything? Any time you need to talk, or feel like it's getting too much, don't just close up and drift. I was losing you these last few months, and you were losing yourself."

"You've gotten more preachy, Luke." She rolled her eyes. "If you bring me some pizza, I'll give you an hour more of my time to talk." A small smile was tugging at her lips.

"As you wish," he was looking clearly relieved that she was being light again. "But only if you come with me to the pizza place. It's better than ordering in any day."

"Dragging me out of my room of misery?" she snorted.

"Actually, yeah. I'm going to have to draw happy faces around here; it's gotten really depressing. Totally kills the mood." He smiled.

"Come on, Luke. All this talk is reminding me that I skipped lunch today." She laced her fingers around Lucas's hand and pulled him up from the edge of her bed, which he had sat down on.

"I wonder if you have multiple personalities sometimes." He quipped.

"Would you prefer broody and angst-ridden?" Peyton raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know, it matches my disposition." He joked.

"Two tortured souls on a quest for personal peace. Story of our life." Peyton said sarcastically.

"I don't want to offset your sudden good mood, but can I ask why it is that you blocked yourself off from me these past months?" Lucas cautiously brought up as they walked out of her home.

"Like I said, you and Brooke were mutually infatuated with each other. I came between that once before, to all of our grief. I wasn't going to do that again." Peyton shrugged. "And, in case you haven't noticed, I tend to withdraw into myself when times get hard."

"Well, don't." he stated. "Brooke isn't going to get in the way of our friendship. I'm not letting you be a moody recluse."

"I am going to pizza with you right now, remember?" she raised an eyebrow. "Listen, just forget it. You're here now, and that counts for something."

Lucas smiled and placed a friendly arm around his friend's shoulders. "When did our group get so dysfunctional?"

"It can probably get traced back to the point of us being best friends with a high school married couple. Not to mention an over done love triangle between a boy, a girl, and the girl's best friend. And then there's the other, original love triangle, boy, girl, and boy's feuding half-brother, two subjects of whom were also involved in the second triangle. The half-brother rivalry you and my ex-boyfriend used to have kind of sets the tone for our chaotic, overly theatrical lives, don't you think?" Peyton listed thoughtfully.

"Ex-boyfriend. Geez. It's so weird to think of Nathan like that. It feels like another lifetime ago that you dated." He chuckled.

"What can I say, I'm a magnet for the Scott brothers." She laughed sarcastically back.

"Luke!" an extremely pleased voice broke through their conversation. Peyton and Lucas turned to the direction of the voice.

"Oh, hey, Haley." Lucas smiled warmly at the girl as she exited a nearby store. She was grinning at Lucas and had started to approach when she realized Peyton was with him. The smile dimmed a bit, and was a bit on the polite side, as she paused.

"Hi, Peyton." She greeted. Her eyes met Peyton's for a brief second before they fell to the sidewalk. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I'll see you guys later." Peyton wanted to laugh at how timid Haley was being. There was a moment of hesitation when Haley tentatively spoke again. "And, um, Peyton? I, look, I'm sorry about the water. And about what I said. You're right, I wasn't here for you."

"You're such a-" Peyton struggled for the words. At Lucas's pleading look, Peyton choked back her retort and instead opted for a more cordial approach. "I shouldn't have exploited your feelings about Nathan and the rough patch you two are in."

Haley brightened just a smidgen, a bit of her courage won back. "Peyton, I really am sorry for being so rash about what I did. It hurts me to know that I hurt all of you, the people who made my life worth living. But I was doing what I thought to be right. I was living my life. It was my dream, and I couldn't have let something so big pass so easily. I love Nathan and I always will, but he was being immature. I was being selfish all the times I said I was too busy to call, and I was being selfish when I didn't include him in every step I was going through, but he was the selfish one that night I left Tree Hill. Not me."

"You were being a brat by leaving so abruptly. A telephone call saying you were going away for a bit wouldn't have been too much trouble. A note, a message, something for Nathan wouldn't have killed you. You let him just walk into an empty house." Peyton defended Nathan.

"You two were just getting along. Don't screw everything up over me." Nathan's cutting voice jarred the two girls as he joined them on the sidewalk. "Besides, Haley is right. I was an idiot for giving her that ultimatum."

This being the first time he had admitted that, Haley instantly looked amazed and pleased. Nathan met her happy gaze with cold eyes. "I was a fucking moron for actually believing that she'd love me more than the prospect of her own personal success and fame. Choosing me over stardom. I really was naive."

His harshness surprised all three of them. Haley's mouth dropped open and she looked as if he had physically slapped her. Lucas looked enraged and his arm instinctively tensed, his hand balled up into a fist.

He jerked forward angrily, "That was uncalled for." Peyton glanced at Haley and automatically stepped closer to her in a comforting, yet protective gesture. Haley nodded in recognition of the gesture but hastily grabbed Lucas's arm to stop him from advancing further towards Nathan. She slid in between the two brothers and calmed down the one on her side.

"Lucas, it's fine." She soothed. She wasn't going to cry over everything that Nathan threw at her. She was stronger than that. At least in his presence, she would be. "Don't."

"You're being a dick." Lucas glared at Nathan. He faced Haley with unyielding eyes. "You don't deserve this crap."

"Yes. Yes I do. He's not being unfair. It's all right, Luke." Haley tried to smile but the pressure building up behind her eyes was starting to overwhelm her. She kept the smile on as she calmly said to her husband, "I'm sorry that's the way you feel. That wasn't how I based my decision, but I can understand how you'd think that."

"He's being a bastard. No matter what you did, he can't talk to you like that." Lucas hissed to his best friend.

"Luke, calm down. Go get a table for us, okay?" Peyton firmly gestured at the restaurant a few meters away. Lucas looked between his two closest female friends and sighed. Giving Nathan one last murderous look, he let his arm relax.

"I will kill you if you hurt her. She may not want it, but next time I see you doing this to her, nothing is going to stop me." Lucas said in a dangerously low voice.

"Lucas!" Haley warned. He gave her shoulder a squeeze and finally followed Peyton's order and entered the pizza restaurant, glancing over his shoulder before he disappeared from their view.

Peyton met Haley's eyes before she turned to Nathan. "Just because she turned away from you once does not mean you have the right to do the same, with actual malice that, despite what you may believe, Haley did not have when she left you. She never wanted to hurt you. You, meanwhile, are obviously intending to hurt her. And you can't say this is fair." Haley looked shocked that she had come to her defense. "I'll catch up with you later, Hales." The other blonde left the scene in a quiet stride, leaving just Nathan and Haley.

Nathan's face, as hard as ever, looked down on Haley. He looked as if he was going to say something more. Haley winced, expecting another barb, and quickly forced a semi-smile. "I'm sorry about Lucas. I'll talk to him. Um, I'll talk to you later."

Nathan grunted and started to walk away. The brunette stared at the spot where he had been standing and she murmured very softly, "I did not leave you because I loved anything more than you. That would be impossible. But you will never believe me. You will never know." And then her eyes were blinded as the composure she had fought to keep during the conversation was released. When she was sure he was gone, her face crumpled, and tears slipped down her cheeks as Haley tried to muffle her sobs.

But Nathan had heard her whispered words, and had hid around the corner, watching and listening as his wife cried, each tear and cry breaking his own heart. She had been so steady before, so calm, and it was just an act. And the act was for his benefit only, because he knew Haley knew how much it bothered him to see her cry. She was sparing him the discomfort, and her the further anguish because she knew he wouldn't do a damn thing to comfort her.

Her words had surprised him, angered him, but mainly hurt him. When she had said that he wasn't being unfair, when she had defended him, Nathan had almost dropped everything that was keeping his face static. He wanted to yell at her. How could she just stand there and take it, how could she say she deserved to be treated like dirt? She had apologized on Lucas's behalf. She. Apologized. To. Him. When he was being an ass. She was trying so hard, and it just made it hurt all that much more. She honestly thought that he wanted to hurt her. And the angel really believed he had a right to say that. She was accepting her consequences. Why did she have to do this? Nathan shut his eyes tightly, trying not to think. What had he become?


A/N: Thank you all for reviewing. Yes, it's been awhile. The reason behind this lack of updating is because, well, the show is going in a direction I like now. I was writing these OTH fics because it was devastating me how they were keeping Nathan and Haley apart. And now, they're happily married, and amazingly together again. Which is brilliant, butbecause itmakes me content and since I'm fine with how things are going, I don't really want to change anything because the problem's been fixed already, so to speak. I now want to pay attention to the ship that's nagging me on the series currently: Leyton. Should I? Or is this really just too much of a core of Nathan and Haley story, and I should just start an enitrely different story for Leyton? Opinions?