Jack was struggling to stay focused in all aspects of his life. At home, he thought of nothing but Kate. The way her knee felt at the school, the feel of her curls tickling his body as she kissed him, on top of him. The little noise she made as he pushed inside her. At work, he stared at the couch they'd had sex on. He constantly opened his desk drawer, pulling out the two framed photos he couldn't stand to get rid of. One was a family Christmas photo of Jack, Kate and Aaron. The other was Jack and Kate bundled up and outside in the snow together at the cabin.
Suddenly, he knew what to do.
"Kate?" He asked into the phone. "I had an idea… what if we all go to the cabin for Christmas? I just think Aaron would love spending Christmas together…It's his first Christmas with his parents split up… even if we do gifts separate… Bring him. I'll bring Madeleine and Michaela… I just really want our families to get along for Aaron… yes, talk to him! Perfect!"
He couldn't believe he'd gotten Kate on board. He knew he should check with Madeleine and wait to hear what Marcus decided but he had the two people he wanted there on board.
"Hey, Buddy!" Jack yelled. "I have something to tell you…" he told Aaron, knowing even without Marcus, Kate would go for Aaron's sake.
"I have a surprise for you," Jack said at dinner.
"I know it!" Aaron yelled. When Jack shushed him, Aaron did a motion to symbolize that he'd locked his lips.
"We're going to the cabin for Christmas!"
"Ew," Michaela crinkled her nose.
"But it'll be snow," Aaron tried.
"Jack, you should have talked to me first," Madeleine scolded.
"Why? It's a perfect plan."
"And your mother?"
"She's fine with it," Jack shrugged. The truth was that Margo was more than fine with it. She'd made it clear who she wanted her son to end up with and it wasn't Madeleine.
"I'm not going," Michaela crossed her arms. "It'll be stupid."
"I second that," Madeleine agreed.
"You've never even been there. You don't know. Now, you're both acting stubborn and selfish."
"I'm acting selfish?" Madeleine yelled. "You're a real ass—"
"I'm not doing this in front of Aaron," Jack warned.
"Then send him back to his house," she rolled her eyes. She was normally nice to Aaron but in her anger she was blaming the child. No matter the reason, Jack refused to entertain her tantrum.
"Then we're done. You can pack up and leave. It's over." Jack could see the anxiety growing inside Aaron. He was never good with arguments, he suspected because aside from their breakup, they'd never fought. Not really. And not in front of Aaron.
Jack scooped his son up, moving away from the women. "If you want, we'll call Mom. She can come get you and once Madeleine and Michaela are gone we'll plan a full boys day." Aaron nodded, using his fists to rub his eyes, a signal he was tired.
Kate arrived while Madeleine and Michaela were finishing their packing. They didn't live at Jack's house so it was only what they'd kept in drawers and closets.
"He's asleep," Jack whispered. "Went right to bed all on his own."
"Our son did that?" Kate and Jack shared a laugh that caught Madeleine's attention.
"This is your fault," she shook her finger in Kate's face.
"Madeleine, get your finger out of my face," Kate warned.
"You and your son. You're always using him for a reason to be around Jack. You're a terrible mother—" her words were silenced by Kate slapping her across the face. The sound echoed through the house and Madeleine's eyes welled up immediately before she grabbed her things and left without another word.
Kate let out a deep exhale. "I am so sorry. I didn't —"
Jack couldn't hide his smile anymore. "I'd forgotten what fighter Kate looks like."
"You've never seen me fight."
He took the opportunity to move closer. "You fought on the island. Fought to save yourself. Fought to save everyone—"
"Jack, I—"
"You saved me from the others," he reminded her.
"You played flag football and flirted with Juliet. You were hardly a prisoner of war."
"You're wrong. Juliet knew I was in love with you. We were only ever friends."
"Why didn't you ever—"
"I didn't want you to feel bad for what happened with you and Sawyer. You're still a good person, you're still beautiful to me and I still love you." Kate's eyes widened at the word love. "Loved you, I mean…" he added quickly. "Loved."
Kate nodded, unsure what to think. Maybe we need some wine," she laughed.
"Are you sure? Last time we had a drink together…"
It'll just be one glass," she whispered. "I just want to wait and see if Aaron wakes up. I don't want him to think I didn't keep my word." In truth, she couldn't stand the thought of leaving. She desired him but even more, she needed to be around him. She'd been thinking about him constantly. Not sexually, she wondered what he was doing. What his opinions were of whatever she was watching or reading. What he thought of new recipes he tried. She wondered if he still had the occasional bad day. Before, he'd come home with his head bowed. They'd lay on the couch, his body atop hers, his head nuzzled between her breasts while she rubbed his back or playing with his hair. When he was ready, he'd speak. It broke her heart to imagine him all alone, his head bowed down and no one to comfort him.
"Is Marcus up for going to the cabin?" Jack asked, hoping he wouldn't go.
"Uh, yeah," she said in a tone that he knew wasn't happy. "He's pouting about it a little…"
"Pouting about what? A white Christmas?"
"He just thinks we should split the time. You come back from the cabin and bring Aaron to my house…"
"Is that what you want?" He pushed.
"I think Aaron—"
Jack stepped so close to her that she began breathing rapidly. "What do you want, Kate?" Kate glanced at the floor, biting her lip. He knew she was stalling, thinking of an excuse or distraction. He stepped closer, forcing her to back up until she was pinned to the wall. "Kate, what do you want?"
"I wanted us to go as a family," she whispered.
"We are all going…"
"Not Marcus. Just family," she admitted. Jack felt victorious in knowing that she didn't consider Marcus family.
"How can you love someone and not consider them family?" He loved watching her squirm, struggling to stay strong. "Or more, how can you consider someone family and not love them?"
"I know what you're trying to do." She hated the way her voice quivered.
"This is what I'm trying to do." He pressed into her until her back hit the wall. She immediately deepened the kiss. He inhaled her moans. She felt his hard erection pressing against her thigh as if it were desperate to feel her again. She lifted her arms as he removed her shirt; he frantically pulled her breasts out, sucking and caressing each one.
"Jack," she finally blurted. The guilt was killing her. "I've been trying really hard to be good…I don't want to cheat on him, as tempting as it is."
"Okay," he whispered. He saw her expression, confused almost surprised. "Did you think I'd be angry?"
"A little frustrated," she admitted.
"The next time we do this," he pointed between them "it won't be an impulse. It won't be a mistake. It won't be a regret."
Kate stood, breathless. He seemed so sure they'd get together again. It seemed like all the signs pointed to them being together. Suddenly, she thought of each point. The affair ended when she ended it, not Jack. He'd cheated on Madeleine, she didn't cheat on Marcus. He was the one who forgot his ticket to the play. He was the one who brought up the cabin. "You did this," she realized. "It's all been you. You've been behind all of it. Just controlling my every thought and movement."
"Wh—" he started but his face gave him away. "I've wanted to make you realize—"
"None of it was real…" she grabbed her purse and keys in a hurry. "Goodbye, Jack."
