A/N: A short story, taking place right after Episode Seven part I. I have been following Helluva Boss and Hazbin for a LONG time, and following Vivz for a long time too. I've always wanted to write something for this series but I'm not so good at comedy and tend to only write stories that are focused inward. My writing across FanFiction and A03 are a form of therapy for me, to work out a lot of bad things and good things that happen in my life. A lot of the stories I write are based on things that have happened in some way to me. It allows me to work out my own "demons" so to speak.

That being said, after episode seven part I, I really connected to Stolas. Most people connected to Blitz, but I've been in Stolas's "shoes" in this regard and so despite telling myself I would never try to write any Fanfiction for Vivs' work because I could never do it justice….well…I connect with Stolas in so many ways…even beyond episode Seven. Watching Blitz and Stolas interact is like listening to the thoughts in my own head. It's hard to explain, but everyone has some version of the optimist and the pessimist in their minds at any given time.

So, this is what came of it. I really hope you enjoy this and my writing isn't too boring. I prefer to focus on introspectives in my work, to dig into the mind and feelings of characters.

I DO NOT OWN HELLUVA BOSS, THIS IS A FAN MADE STORY, NOT A THEORY OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN, NOT WHAT I HOPE HAPPENS, JUST MY WAY OR TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT STOLAS MIGHT HAVE FELT AFTER OZZIE'S. I OWN NOTHING, GET NO PAY FOR THIS AND HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR VIV!

Enjoy! Please forgive any editing mistakes!

All the Different Meanings

The van is horribly maintained, the engine sounding like something reminiscent of a dying animal. Stolas isn't sure if Blitz can hear it, but he sure can. There is an inconsistency in the high pitch whine of the engine as an obvious grinding noise comes from the brake pads. It might actually be cheaper financially to simply replace the van with something newer than to try and sort out and fix all the rather obvious issues Stolas hears as they drive through the city.

The inside is no better, and he would rather focus on how near death the vehicle sounds and how sloppily the inside is kept than what just happened not even fifteen minutes ago. It's a long agonizing drive back to his home, and the garbage that litters the floor of the front seat fills the air with the smell of weeks-long since past. He even spies one of the outrageously priced cups from their trip to Loo-Loo Land.

The smiling face of the apple on the top of the overly priced accessory annoys Stolas as he doesn't think he will ever truly smile again. He manages to shift a delicate clawed foot over and place it on the mocking face of the little red demon apple and braves a glance at his driver….his companion….his would be lover if only things had gone differently.

He already knows in his gut, which has been lamenting and filled with dread since they left the club, that despite how happy he had been only two hours ago from the invite….things did not go well.

And Stolad himself had made a rather large ass out of himself without meaning to. He cursed the Menu which had sat within reach of his sweating hands, the thing so easily used to hide and escape Asmodeus's rather obvious call out. Leaving Blitz to face the harassment alone, the little Imp, much braver than he, for Blitzo had been called out not once but twice and he had not tried to hide his discomfort or avoid being called out.

You should have taken his hand then, not after. You should have stood your ground, defended your actions, a mighty Goetia indeed, you should have….should have….done anything other than deny the truth…you know better than anyone the truth can slither free of the most mighty prisons. Secrets want to be known, which is why they are so hard to keep hidden.

His subtle glance at Blitz shows a face that is filled with emotions and yet blank of anything worth noticing. He can see anger and frustration, a hint of humiliation, mixed with regret and annoyance….and the level of fatigue in his eyes keeps mounting.

He's tired…as tired as I am…but more….deeper…not just from tonight's activities…he is tired of…everything…the weight of his fatigue is heavier than anything else….why have I never noticed before? What else haven't you told me Blitzy?

He makes a decision then and there that he is going to try to rectify the night. He is going to try and prove that Blitz can count on him…that he is safe with him. He wants to be so much more than a licentious tumble between the sheets. He wants more than leather straps and gag balls and bear traps. Those items are fun, can create a succulent sexual frenzy between them…but…they had moved beyond whips and chains at this point. Stolas wanted something more, satisfaction of a different kind, one he never knew he could crave…and it had been solidified not by the fallout of their evening…but by Blitz's little friends….a lot was going on at the club…but after the dust had cleared…when that obnoxious robo-imp had been silenced by the little female Imp….Stolas had focused on the pair and heard a very specific line from the little male Imp's song.

I love us….I love us just the way we are…don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't…I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes….I'll never take you for granted…I'll always give you my best….and if you can offer the same fate will handle the rest….cause I love you…..I love you…I…..LOVE…..YOU.

Stolas looks away quickly, stares out the window as his heart beats harder and his brain seems to implode a little.

You bloody love him….oh dear….oh my….oh no….no….but…yes-

Stolas had assumed love was a rather dry thing, an endearing and warming feeling…he loved his daughter so much, his pride in her, and his admiration of her devil-may-care attitude always made him smile. The love he had felt for his daughter was constant and unconditional and no matter what happened it would never disappear.

He had assumed that the love he felt for his sweet little owlette was the same type of love he felt for Blitz….but after tonight…after everything that happened….sitting here in this stagnant silence that felt worlds heavier than anything he'd ever felt before, he realized there was more than just one type of love…it had never occurred to him.

The love he felt for Stella, and despite how rage-filled she was, Stolas did still love her…was built not from want or attachment but because Stella had given him Octavia…he would always love Stella because she was the mother of his child…that was a place no one else could ever fill. Stella gifted to him the beautiful daughter that he loved more than anything in the world, he would be forever grateful to Stella for that and so Stella would always have a small place in his heart….and Octavia created a love that any father would know all too well.

But within him, when the nightly descent into sexual deviancy with Blitz had started to spiral out of control something had begun to grow. Much the same as his many plants, he had tended to and fed this thing blossoming inside of him.

Little moments that existed outside of the sexual deviancy had started to occur….the occasional movie beforehand, talking after…the one single time Blitz had fallen into a nightmare and Stolas had received a few seconds of desperate cuddles, Blitz seeking comfort without realizing it before he shrugged it off venomously and stormed from the room. The time Stolas woke up to Blitz wrapped around him, cuddling close, whispering sleepy desires that he never remembered when he got up to leave. Pictures, discussions, and the wall between just sex and something more crumbling as Stolas felt the fires of passion soften into a resonating glow that didn't just fill his mind with depravity and sin.

He braved one more glance at his Imp companion and felt heat burn across his cheeks, his heart hammering just by looking at him, his head seeming to spin just a little as his mind didn't fill with covetous and wicked thoughts….but framed within his mind's eye an image of them sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a thick blanket, popcorn in a bowl on Blitz's lap as he leaned back against Stolas's chest, raising a hand to feed him popcorn as they watched a movie, talking about their day and cuddling.

A desire more ardent than any he had ever felt before filled him…and despite himself, he wanted that more than the sex Blitz could give him. This love he was feeling…was different than what he felt for Stella or Octavia…this love…was cutting him like a knife…burying into every inch of him.

And he realized at that moment that he had done everything wrong…but how could he have done it any different when he had never realized the possibility in the first place…he'd wanted the sex and attention Blitz had given him…he'd never expected it to fall so out of control…he hadn't expected to fall in real love…so how could he have done anything differently….his selfish desire for amazing sex and someone to touch him….someone to want him…if he had known….if only he had known…he would have done things differently.

As they pulled up to his house he was grateful Blitz hadn't questioned why Stolas requested a ride. It was obvious Stolas didn't need one, he could have simply portaled home…but the twenty-minute drive from the club to his home had given Stolas time to sort things out…and it allowed him more time with Blitz. He was going to try to make things right…that moment he imagined on the couch…would be a good start to making things right…to slowing things down…letting their relationship develop more naturally…he just needed to get Blitz inside….had to show him…things could be different…that he could be different…and that he wasn't ashamed.

As she climbed painfully out of the cramped front seat, his usually admired height not a compliment to the tiny front seat that was designed for creatures other than himself, he shook off the garage that had collected on him and he thought it appropriate given how he had acted tonight.

Shutting the door he quickly turned around and grabbed the window area of the door, preventing Blitz from leaving, it was now or never.

"Thank you…for inviting me out tonight-" he started, keeping his voice soft and far away from the flamboyant and often dismissive tone he usually used, "Despite everything that happened…I enjoyed…spending time with you." and he gave a gentle smile, his eyes warm and his body leaning in, elbows now resting in the window to further halt Blitz from gunning it out of the drive.

Blitz was looking away, a hand to his mouth as he gazed out the window, but after a moment he turned back to look straight ahead, hands coming to the wheel as if to say he was ready to go, his own voice reflecting doubt and that same fatigue Stolas had noticed earlier, "Yeah." he offered.

How the weight of all of Hell could seem to rest on this one Imp's shoulders Stolas didn't know, but he knew if he could just get Blitz inside…somehow…he might be able to make him feel better…comfort him…love on him enough…maybe…some of that fatigue would melt away.

He decided it was now or never, the conversation already seemed stale and so he was quick to offer, "You know, I have some more wine…in the house. Octavia is with her mother this weekend so we could-"

The response was quick, a sharp order that held such dismissive anger in his voice Stolas was taken aback though he did well not to show it, save for his small warm smile fading as his eyes eased into a look of sadness, "I'm not fuckin' you tonight, okay? I'm really just-" his words catch in his throat, and in less than a second a tear tries to escape as the weight of his world seems to finally break his back and the strength of his conviction falters, the anger fades from his voice as he lets out a wobbly sigh and quickly hides the lone tear that tried to escape and scream out Blitz's true feelings to the world, "I'm really not in the mood, Stolas."

This was his chance, his moment, to make things right…to do the right thing and start their relationship off on the right foot…everything he had lost…everything they had gone through…all of it would be worth it if he could just get Blitz inside and show him…he had to show him-

"We could talk…or watch a movie…or…maybe…cuddle?" Even as he says it he sees Blitz's hackles rise, his teeth gritting as his hands tighten around the steering wheel and Stola knows before Blitz speaks that his chance at redemption will not come tonight.

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear…all the time. But I just…I-I can't do it tonight, okay?" and Blitz glances at him before looking back to his hands, murmuring out a soft, "Sorry." and Stolas realizes he has a choice to make.

He could force Blitz to stay, using his Grimoire as the leverage to do so, but, his whole point of inviting Blitz in was to show him what he really wanted out of this…to show him…it could be different…if Stolas forced it upon him…it wouldn't be different at all…the same thing they had been doing…just without the sex….his only option in this instance…was to show Blitz that he had a choice…and that Stolas actually respected him…his only option was to let him go.

This thought only took a second and his mind was made up before Blitz had said he was sorry for being unable to stay…Stolas had to force himself not to say more…to not try and explain himself at this moment…the time would come…but now was not it.

"Okay." Stolas offered, finally removing himself from the van's window as he stood and took a deep slow breath in, bracing himself so he wouldn't lose control of his emotions before Blitz was gone.

He gave a faint bow and managed a gentle, "Good Night, Blitz." stepping back from the van to give the Imp room to pull out.

A clipped, "Night." came from the driver as the van started and then peeled out, the need to escape written all over the vehicle as it pulled out of the drive and onto the main road.

As soon as he was alone the quiet of the night sank in and his emotions swelled, misery, regret, longing, wishes, hopes, dreams, guilt, humiliation….consequences….

Stolas had never had to deal with consequences before. He'd lived his entire life without ever having to be held accountable for anything he did. Not only had he lost his wife, hurt his daughter, and now had his dirty laundry aired to one of the Princes of Hell, but he might have lost the one person who would have made it all worth it.

And it was all because he hadn't been able to see what was happening or where it was going. He was in love with Blitz…and completely unequipped to handle it. He didn't really know how to…he never had the words needed…he'd never been held accountable…faced consequences…how do you talk to someone when anything you say could be twisted and turned against you and…

What the hell am I supposed to do now? I…my whole life…I turned everything….upside down…all for you Blitzy…I…my daughter…Octavia, I am so sorry….I wasn't prepared for this…for him…those eyes…his eyes…have so much pain…and I never saw it…

He sits on the steps outside of his home for nearly an hour, lamenting what could have been, it feels like the end of something but he doesn't know what because there wasn't really anything that had begun.

Eventually, he stands, legs shaky as he trudges inside to his empty house, silent as the grave and feeling as hollow as his stomach. He moves through the house, much the same as a zombie, shucking his clothes as he walks. He's never been fond of clothes, prefers to wear as little as possible…that's how he is the most comfortable, often only sporting his robe and even that rarely stays closed or all the way on.

He heads to his private bath, shutting and locking the door despite being alone in the house. His hand swooshes through the air weakly, candles igniting and purple curtains hanging in droves as the ornate tub lay weighting.

This wasn't a normal bathtub, and in fact, the space was more akin to a meditation room, or a study. In the center was the tub, surrounded on the floor by glowing sigils, which he used to peer into the different realms. It allowed him to keep an eye on the things that were most important, including whenever I.M.P went topside.

He'd decorated the curtains with the constellations and linked them up with the current spin of the Earth so he could keep track of the seasons on Earth and would know on which day each month he would need his grimoire for whatever he was required to do.

The sigils lit up a bright purple, the constellations glowing brighter as he turned on the tap and steaming water filled the tub, he then turned and went to a small table, where he mixed several different salts, crushed up crystals and red sand into a bag before he moved back and poured it into the tub. Bubbles started to form as the water condensed and before he stepped in he grabbed a half drank bottle of wine from the same table as before and looked at it with exhausted eyes as a sigh escaped him.

Sinking into the hot water was near like the rapture, every tense muscle relaxing, every single emotion melting into a soft ball in the pit of his stomach and despite his aristocratic existence, he takes a soft pull from the bottle of wine, forgoing a glass as tonight is a problem, one he isn't sure how to fix.

He sinks deep into the water, another long sigh escaping him as he drags a water-clad hand down his face and closes his eyes in thought yet tries hard not to think at all.

Eventually, he gives an over-exaggerated groan and says weakly, "Why must you torture yourself?"

Still, his hand swirls through the air and several bubbles lift from the soft sloping piles in the tub, images appearing, one of Octavia, who is in her room at her mother's where she is writing in a journal and listening to music, her expression relaxed and mood seemingly calm. Another bubble shows Stella, the woman talking on the phone, to whom she is talking, and what she is saying is mute, he is simply checking in.

The third bubble shows Blitz, and his focus zooms in as he sits up slowly, the bottle falling from his grasp and capsizing in the tub as both hands come to gently cup the bubble which shows his precious Blitzy laying on his couch in his small home and crying softly.

He's curled in on himself, tail twisting and hands clenching a throw pillow as his body gives little shakes and trembles.

Stolas had no context for these tears, but his heart twists, and his eyes water, "I'm sorry, Blitz." He whispers before he takes a hand and swipes it gently over the bubble, sparkles, and swirls of magic raining down upon the translucent sphere and after a moment Blitz's body goes still, everything relaxing as sleep comes to him with a gentle push of magic from Stolas.

"Sleep-" he whispers, "Dream of a soothing moment, dream of peace…dream of comforts beyond your view and rest Blitz…rest easy and well…my sweet little Imp."

The heat slowly fades from the water as over the next hour he watches Blitz sleep, tears long gone and shaking tremors of his tightly coiled emotions leaving him. His face, scarred and sharp, is relaxed, his chest rising and falling in an easy rhythm that soothes Stolas.

"I wish I could do more for you…be more for you…how can I reach you my sweet Imp…it feels perhaps like the universe will deny us forever, some real-life where…we could be…happy."

He leans back now, gently compelling the bubble closer, eyes covetous in a way that depicts wanting to hold and touch, to admire, to grasp greedy hands for tender kisses…and for a long moment, lust no longer exists and Stolas imagines what a gentle night of passion might be like. Tender to the touch, whispering words of love and devotion…something real…

He feels like for the first time in his life he is a grownup, no longer pretending…his life is no longer a game…there could be meaning…truth…there could be more…there could be them…together…meaning something to each other…

He lets out a frustrated sigh, "I've never been good at poetry, but I could write a dictionary of all the different meanings you evoke in me…you matter to me…will I ever matter to you?"

The water is cold when he finally stands, drops echoing as they shed from his feathers, his eyes still trained on the image of a softly sleeping Blitz, and he wants more than anything in all of Hell to go to him, to kiss him good night, to bless him with whatever magic he carries that his life will improve, that his fatigue and the weight he carries so heavily on his back would ease.

"I'd carry it with you." Stolas whispered, "I wish you'd let me…I wish I knew how…I wish…I was better than-" but he stops, once again, he can't find the words, he's rambling and realizes how untrained he is in true matters of the heart.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, realizing all of his life, he was trained for certain things…and never once…did any of his private tutors, or his parents or his "friends" explain to him how important this one singular lesson would be.

"Do I not stand for wisdom?" he wonders out loud, the bubble with his precious Imp finally popping and sputtering prismatic color into the abyss, "Shouldn't I have known better? Shouldn't I have seen this coming?"

He exits the tub, his hands fisting tightly as he fights the urge to go to his lover, his heart hardening a little as he makes his way to the bed that will be cold and empty and unforgiving of his pain.

Flopping down he grabs the pillow closets to him, presses his face into it, and inhales only to freeze when he realizes all he can smell is cheap body spray and clove cigarettes, "Damn-" he whispers under his breath, pulling the pillow closer, inhaling the scent left behind from his last "session" with the Imp that is now carving his existence into Stolas's veins.

"A lesser creature might simply take what he wants…if this had happened before Octavia was born…perhaps I would have locked you away, kept you so perfectly out of sight…tried to make you love me…now…doing anything to upset you…to hurt you…it makes me ill."

And nausea swells in his stomach, thoughts of how he might have been so twisted to think he could receive the love he craves from Blitz through force only reinforces how much he has changed.

"I don't feel well, I wish you were here with me Blitzy." and tears finally escape, big thick ones he's been holding back all night, ripping up through his stomach into his chest and flooding from his eyes, showing the chaotic mess his life has become, screaming to the world how unhappy he truly is and has been for a long time.

The only true happiness he feels is when his daughter smiles at him and when Blitz is next to him, so physically close…yet he's never been close in the way that matters.

"Sleep…just…sleep." Stolas whispers to himself, pressing his face to the pillow and breathing deep the scent that calms him, "Sleep and dream of Via smiling at you and Blitzy…holding your hand."

When the next full moon came, Stolas still felt sick, and so, for the first time since all this began, he canceled his monthly rendezvous, did not do what was required of him, and spent a whole day focusing on nothing but his plants and his own well being.

If he had any chance of truly earning Blitz's love…he had to relearn how to be someone that Blitz would want to love back. It had to start with him…he was supposed to be wise after all, but no wisdom came from ignorance, only experience, so…with determination and patience, he would learn how to love someone properly and he would start with learning to love himself.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you thought!