Chapter Three Too Good to be True

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The kiss lasted a long time. Neither Meredith or Derek wanted to stop it, though there were several obvious reasons why they should; however, it felt like the rest of the world was closed, and it was left to just the two of them.

Finally, he pulled back, and rested his forehead on hers. Neither spoke for a moment. Then Meredith said softly, "You. . .you shouldn't have done that."

"I know." He replied. "I wanted to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Meredith was quiet for a moment. Then, "So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly. He pulled back from her, but ran his fingers through her hair as he did. He glanced at the restaurant. "We've been gone awhile. They might come looking."

Meredith didn't answer. She wasn't thinking about Finn and Addison. She was thinking about that kiss.

"We might better go. Inside."

"So that's it?"

"What? No, that's not it! But we can't. . .we can't talk here, not like we need to. Let's walk Doc again tomorrow, since we didn't really today, and we can talk." Meredith was silent. "Hey. . .I love you, too. It hasn't gone away for me, either."

Meredith smiled slightly. "But it's not about talking about it, Derek. We've talked about it. What do you want to do about it?"

"I-"

"Well, this is lovely."

They turned and saw Addison coming out of the restaurant, all perkiness completely gone. She was glaring at Derek but spoke to Meredith, "Finn's worried about you. I told him I'd come check." She turned on Meredith and said firmly, "You better get in there."

Between anger at Addison and guilt over Finn, the guilt ran out. She gave Derek a quick look before going back inside.

Addison turned on Derek. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Just leaving the table like that-"

"I had a phone call?"

"From who, Meredith?"

Derek rolled his eyes and said sarcastically. "Good one." He turned a glare on her. "And what the hell were you doing in there?"

"What, the proposal? I think it's a nice story." She smiled sarcastically at that. "It's the kind of thing you tell people."

"Since when! Not once when we've gone out with people we've just met, in all the time we've been married, have you ever told that story. Not until Meredith is sitting there."

"So what are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying."

"What were you two talking about."

"Nothing."

They stared each other down for a few minutes, then it became clear neither was going to say anything more.

"Let's just go inside."

The rest of the dinner passed in awkward silence. The perkiness had left Addison, and Finn was clearly uncomfortable. Meredith just wanted it to be over. She just wanted to get Derek alone again. She wanted to finish their conversation. Make him answer.

Afterwards, the couples went their separate ways; Addison never left Derek's side, clearly not wanting to give him and Meredith a chance to talk.

Meredith sat in Finn's car later and he glanced over at her a few times before clearing his throat and saying in a would-be casual voice, "So what's the story with you and Shepard."

Meredith stiffened. She kept her voice casual, too, as she answered, "Who? Addison?"

"No, Derek." Finn's voice was more serious now.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know it's just the way. . .the way you look at each other. There's something there."

Meredith's voice was defensive, "There used to be."

He glanced at her. "What?"

She sighed. "Okay, um. . .when he first moved to Seattle we dated for a little while. I didn't know about Addison, they were separated. Then she showed up."

Finn raised his eyebrows. "Wow. And now you're. . .you're friends with him? Both of them."

Not friends. "Yeah. It was a long time ago." Was it really? "We work together and everything so. . ."

"Oh."

Awkward silence. Meredith began talking again, wanting to fill it. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything I just didn't want to make tonight. . .y'know weird." She nearly laughed at the irony of what she said. Like it could have made tonight any weirder than it was.

They didn't say much more about it. Finn kissed her goodnight later normally, but he didn't come inside to stay over. She didn't ask, and he didn't offer.

Izzie and Christina was sitting in the living room when she entered. "Hi!" Izzie said brightly.

Meredith groaned loudly and dropped into a chair.

"The greetings are seriously going downhill around here."

Meredith didn't answer.

Izzie sighed and looked at Christina, who nodded and went into the kitchen. She returned with several bottles of beer. "Here." She shoved one at Meredith.

Izzie spoke, "What happened?"

Meredith looked at Christina. "Why are you here?"

"George is still at the apartment and they're playing music." She made a face to show her feelings of this. "Now what happened?"

Meredith took a sip from the bottle. She was quiet for the longest time, debating where to start. Finally, she said bluntly, "Derek kissed me."

"What!"

"Outside the restaurant."

"Why were you outside the restaurant?"

Meredith sighed and launched into the whole story, from Addison and the proposal, Derek following her, their conversation, everything.

Izzie was speechless. Christina, as usual, was not.

"He actually said he loves you."

"Uh-huh."

"You're sure?"

Meredith scowled at her. "You think I made it up?"

"Just checking, don't freak." She paused. "So. . .what are you going to do?"

"It's not really up to me, is it! It's him, again! I just have to sit back and watch. I wish he'd have answered me. But Satan showed up at the wrong time. Again."

"So I take it friendship with Addison isn't going so well?"

"Christina." Izzie looked at her in exasperation. "What about Finn?"

"What about him?" Meredith shot her a desperate look. "I. . .I know he's great. But I can't help it if I can't feel that way about him, can I?"

Neither answered.

Meredith's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you." Derek's voice, soft and loving. She smiled without meaning to.

"Hey."

"Um, I hope it's not a bad time. . ." He was trying to find out if Finn was with her.

She saw right through it. "It's not."

"Good." She could hear his voice relax. "Listen, I didn't just want to leave things like that. Do you maybe want to come over and talk?"

"What about Addison?" Ah, the ultimate question.

"She's not here. She's at a hotel. We had a fight, and I told her I need to think about some things."

Meredith's heart leaped. Good news? She forced herself to remain level. "I don't think I should come over because your wife's at a hotel."

"Just to talk, Mer. Please?"

She nodded into the phone. Then, realizing he couldn't see her, said, "Yeah, okay."

"Are you coming?"

"Yes." She stood up, grabbed her jacket and mouthed, 'see you later' at Christina and Izzie, who looked at each meaningfully. "I'm on my way out."

"Good, glad to hear it."

She opened the front door, speaking into the phone. "So…when I get there, are you going to be able to answer my-" She stopped dead. "…question."

Derek was standing on the porch with his phone. He smiled. "Hi."

"Hey." She hung up the phone and looked at him quizzically.

"I didn't know if you'd agree to come so I was ready to make you."

She smiled up at him. "Oh."

He held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go somewhere."

She took it, feeling happier than she had in a long time. For the first time, there was real hope. She could feel it.

They were in his car, and she realized they weren't heading for the trailer. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

They pulled up and Meredith smiled. "Ferryboats."

He got out of the car and came around the open her door. "Yeah, I have a thing for ferryboats."

"I remember."

They walked out to the edge of the pier and sat, watching the boats in the distance. Derek kept his hand closed over Meredith's.

She waited awhile before finally speaking, "So. . .you never answered my question. What are you going to do?"

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take

He was quiet for a moment. "I. . .I'm going to end it with Addison. I can't keep doing pretending with her. And. . .it's wrong to be with her when I can never be happy that way because she's just not you." He smiled. "And you're the one I'm in love with, Mer. It's always been you."

Her eyes filled with tears. She had wanted for so long to hear that and believe it. "I love you, too." She whispered. She leaned in and kissed him softly.

Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

When they broke, she said hesitantly, "One thing scares me, Derek."

"What is it?"

"You. . .you really hurt me. I mean, you broke my heart. And I. . .I just don't want to get hurt again."

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I'd rather die then do that again. I hate knowing I hurt you, and I don't plan on doing it again. I promise."

She looked into his eyes and believed him. "Thank you."

He absently stroked her hair.

"And about you and Finn. . ."

"I'll end it."

"Good." He smiled down at her. "How did I ever go without this?"

She smiled back, feeling completely safe for the first time in forever.

XXXXXXXX

Derek went back to the trailer in several hours, unbelievably happy. His smile faded when he saw Addison sitting there.

"Thought you were going to a hotel." He said flatly. Okay, so he'd have to get this conversation over with a little sooner than he'd planned.

She turned around and he noticed her eyes were red, like she'd been crying.

"What is it?"

"Derek I know. . .I know that we're not doing so well right now, and that you don't seem to like me much, and I'm not at my best with you either. . .that just makes this feel like it's coming at such the wrong time and I don't know what to do. . ."

Feeling panicky, he stared at her. "What the hell are you-"

"I took a test. Derek. . .I'm pregnant."

Oh, who hates me right now? Sorry it was sort of a short chapter, but I really wanted to end it there. Not the best cliffhanger (I prefer the last chapters, obviously) but just remember that I'm a MerDer fan. : ) please review! And thanks to all the people who have reviewed so far, especially those who've left the long ones, my favorite (hint, hint) I'll update soon!