Nagisa: Hey, everyone! Thanks so much for supporting us for an entire year now!

Karma: I honestly don't know why you stick around but… (rubs back of head) Thanks (small smile)

Fia: Really?! You aren't tired of us yet? I'm so glad to hear that! We have so much more in store!

Haven: Yeah, until they start putting us through hell. Left Brain keeps saying the worst is yet to come.

Right Brain: SHHH! That's a secret. ( O ~ O")

Left Brain: These next few updates will probably be the last few happy ones for a while. Also, sorry that the special is late… I've been computerless for at least twelve hours a day the past week and sadly, that trend will continue for about a month...

Narrator: Despite that, we'll try to update the best we can and try to keep a few bits of comedy in for the sake of your sanity.

All: We hope you enjoy this anniversary short and continue to support us!


Haven woke to the soft rays of early morning light seeping into the humble abode. Careful not to wake the bluenette asleep beside her, she got up and changed quickly into a plain cotton kimono before placing a kettle of hot water on the newly-stoked fire to and prepare a simple breakfast of rice. A few moments later, she looked up to see Nagisa leaning against the doorframe, watching her with a small smile on his lips. She smiled back as he came to sit next to her.

"Today will be busy," he said softly as Haven handed him a bowl of rice. "Saito-san has an ailment that I must attend to, I need to gather herbs for Arai-san's stomach ache medicine, and Taro-kun is supposed to come here so I can rewrap his bandages." Nagisa explained as he ate.

"We should also pick the other herbs before the weather gets too cold," Haven added.

The bluenette pulled his hair back into a small ponytail and sent his wife a small smile. "I got it." Carefully stepping out into the brisk morning fog, Nagisa found his way around the corner and knelt down in front of a bed of greens. He hummed as he began pulling roots free from their sodden bed and trimming the leaves off of others when a group of small children ran up.

"Good morning, Shiota-san!" they greeted him.

"Good morning, little ones. What brings you here so early?"

"Is the white haired yo-lady here?" one of the older ones in the group asked.

"Yes, do you want to speak with her?"

"We're good!" the group replied as they ran off. Nagisa went back to his work, slightly puzzled. A few moments later, he looked at the herbs he had gathered. Did he even know how to make medicines from these?

Somewhere a little distance away, traversing the winding mountain paths bathed in cool condensation, an armor-clad samurai sat regally upon a steadfast stallion. Equipping his helmet with a sigh, the Japanese warrior surveyed the distance he had come and urged his horse to move faster to the next village in order to restock his provisions. Wait… Since when did he have a horse? Let alone could ride one?

Peridot eyes watched the silhouette of a feminine figure pulling a pristine miko attire around her shoulders. Cascading auburn hair was tied back and bound in a white ribbon and soft hands smoothed down the white and red fabric. Quietly, the woman set to cleaning and preparing an offering in the peaceful solitude of her shrine when there was a neigh from outside. She shuffled over to the shōji doors and opened them to a dismounting samurai.

"Good morning, sir," she greeted. "What brings you to my humble shrine?"

"I appear to be lost, good priestess," the man answered as he tethered his horse to a nearby tree, "Could you perhaps tell me where I am?" Golden eyes moved to meet emerald ones.

"I… We are at a shrine, yes, on a mountain… in a forest… by a village, yeah, a village! About…" She looked down the path. "There?" she concluded with a puzzlement.

A red eyebrow quirked as the warrior responded to the woman's curious behavior. "You do not seem sure. Are you feeling ill?"

"Um… Yes, I am fine! I feel fine, absolutely, you cannot possibly think I am not well. What makes you think I am unwell?" the priestess asked in a fluster. Her cheeks went aflame.

"With all due respect, you do remind me of an old friend of mine…"

"I-I'm sure you must be mistaken, sir!" she protested.

The samurai removed his face-guarding helmet and shook vermillion hair free. "Are you sure?" he inquired. "She stands at about your height, has a similar shade of eyes, and the same stupidly-cute, confused expression."

"W-What did you just say? I'm not confused, you're confused! W-Who even asked you a-anyway, cherry pop?"

"I thought it was you, Fia," Karma chuckled with a smile. He, heavy armor clanking, approached her, and placed a gentle hand on her head. "Do you know what we're doing here? Or, better yet, where Haven and Nagisa are?"

Fia shook her head under his palm when a collection of young children came clamoring up the mountain path leading to the valley village. "Priestess, priestess!" they called between pants. "There's a yokai in town! You need to exorcise it! Come with us, we know exactly where it is."

The samurai and priestess exchanged glances then nodded reluctantly before following the children down the mountain's steep face, a horse, sword, and staff in hand. The small party stopped outside the village.

"It's in there," one of the children hissed as they pointed to a house with a small herb garden. Momentarily, a bluenette walked out, followed by a white-haired girl. "THERE IT IS!" the children yelled, drawing the attention of couple. "IT'S THE YOKAI!" the children hid behind the samurai, who subsequently sweat-dropped.

"Good eye," he complimented. "You're not exactly wrong," Karma mumbled, only to be glared at by his accompanying priestess.

"Children, she's not a yokai," Fia tried to explain, but faltered for an explanation that would make sense to the young children.

"But you have to, before she terrorizes the village!" they whined. "It's a Yuki-onna!"

"A what?"

"A Yuki-onna! It has white hair, and white skin, and black eyes! It looks like a demon! Not to mention, it seduced our medic! You've gotta exorcise it!"

"Um… right." Fia looked awkwardly between the pleading eyes of the children and Haven, who was staring them down coolly. What was she to do?

"AHHHHH! It's coming!" one of the children screeched as Haven and Nagisa approached. Suddenly, it began to snow. "We've made it angry! We're all gonna die!" the children wailed.

The redhead glanced at Fia with a "now we have to do something" look and she sighed in response. Wearing a grim expression, the priestess walked up to the accused Yuki-onna and swiftly attached a strip of lettered white paper on her forehead.

"Begone, evil demon!" Determinedly, she waved her hand in front of Haven's face. "I, the priestess, demand you leave this village and peace be restored!"

"What?" Haven gave her friend an unamused look. "That only works if I'm a yokai, which I'm not."

Fia dead-panned. "Just pretend!" she hissed under her breath and gestured towards the anxiously-waiting children. "Want them to stone you instead?" she offered flatly.

"Ahhh," Haven cried in monotone as she slowly stumbled backwards and slunk, with the most bored expression, to the ground. "I have been defeated."

The auburn-haired girl turned a twitching smile back towards the children. "There, you see? The… demon has been vanquished and you can return home now without worry. The talisman I used will transform this demon into an honorable woman, so please treat her with care from now on."

"Okay, Priestess! Thank you, Priestess!" the children smiled as they ran off.

"Can I get up now?" the lump on the ground called.

"We should probably all talk," Nagisa said as he helped Haven to her feet. "Is there somewhere we can go?"

"Well, your house is right there," Karma pointed out.

"I'm kind of on the run from a few patients… I wish I could help them but I really don't know how to," Nagisa admitted as he turned some of his collected herbs over in his hands.

"What are we doing in Feudal Japan anyway?" Haven mumbled.

"I couldn't really say," Karma said as he leaned against the wall. "It was really disorienting to wake up here. I didn't realize anything was wrong until Terasaka and I had already packed up camp and were on the move."

"You named your horse?" Haven quirked an eyebrow.

"Why Terasaka?" Nagisa asked in dismay.

The redhead smirked crookedly. "Why not? He's a muscular brute with no brain that I can take advantage of. I mean, he rode himself into a tree-twice. Mind you, the same tree."

Fia shook her head. "That's still mean," she huffed. "But I agree. It was disorienting for me too; when I woke up, I was able to go about doing things as if I had been here my entire life, but I don't think I'm cut out to be a priestess…"

"C'mon, you weren't that bad," Karma replied.

"Yeah, sure. She exorcised a human…" Haven grumbled.

The bluenette glanced curiously at Fia. "What would make you say that, Fia?"

The girl hid a red face in her red hakama with a sigh. "Well… I can't say whether or not my conception was sacred or… sacrilegious." Three pairs of eyebrows rose in response to her answer. "Dio, I was… um… conceived in a church," she coughed out under her breath. "During a sermon…" A pause. "By the pope." (A.N. Right Brain is technically from a Catholic family - no offense was intended.)

"WHAT!?" Nagisa and Haven exclaimed simultaneously while their third companion was rolling on the floor, laughing so loud as to startle Terasaka outside.

"Yeah, I don't know if being a priestess is right for me… Besides, I can't even write talismans," she shrugged as she lifted her head with an awkward smile.

"Then what did you write on this?" Haven pointed to the slip of paper still stuck to her forehead.

"U-Uh…" Fia pulled the strip quickly from her friend's face and hid it behind her back. "Nothing, it was Italian anyway," she dismissed the question with a nervous laugh.

Swiftly, the samurai snatched the slip from Fia's hands and smoothed the wrinkled sheet. "Candida?" he read from the cursive aloud.

She smiled at Haven, explaining slowly. "It means candid, perhaps blunt, but also could be taken to mean innocent or pure white. I always believe in you; you're my guardian 'Angel.'"


"Welcome to this new year's edition of Housemate Havoc! We're your hosts, Peter and Brian!" a green-haired man clad in a newsboy cap called.

"On today's show," a brunette with cool wisteria-colored eyes continued, "we have some very… interesting guests, including your beloved assassination housemates and the members of Mario Party."

"Thanks for that introduction, Bri. On today's show, we have a lot planned but why don't we start by getting to know our guests with some good old-fashioned trivia!"

"Deplorable."

"What?"

"You're exaggerating and making a fool out of yourself."

"I'm just trying to make it fun!" Peter objected before quietly adding, "Mood killer."

"I heard that."

"Anyway~ Let's start with a few warm up questions to get our group started. Something easy, raise your hand if you're a southpaw!"

"Southpaw? What does that mean?" Noriko asked.

"Just raise your hand," Karma said.

Both Noriko and Brian raised their left hands.

"Wow! We're slightly above the average here! Did you know that about ten percent of the population is left handed?"

"What if you're ambi-ambidex- can use both?" Mario asked, raising both of his hands.

"That's amazing! Only one percent of the population is ambidextrous!" Peter chimed.

"Alright, how many of you have parents that copulate frequently?" Brian inquired flatly.

Peter sweat-dropped. "He means to say how many of our lovely guests have siblings?"

Fia and Princess Peach reluctantly raised their hands, followed by Haven and Rosalina.

"I haven't seen Carly for years though," Princess Peach grumbled.

Peter smiled wryly. "I envy you guys a little bit. I'm an only child, and, Fia, your family always seems so lively! As you know, my house was pretty empty except for housekeepers. Haha, the head chef would always let me sample and would get scolded by the maids for 'spoiling my appetite.'"

The violet-eyed man clicked his tongue, bringing attention back to himself, and spoke again. "It appears we have a very… diverse group of people here in terms of family size, class, and ethnicity. All of you are, at the very least, bilingual. Besides English, each of your teammates are fluent in what languages?" Brian inquired.

"Karma and Nagisa understand Japanese," Fia offered first.

"Peach knows Japanese too!" Mario chimed in.

"Fia and Mario know Italian," Peach returned flatly.

"Haven knows Chinese," Nagisa answered with a smile.

"Well, Rosalina and Koopa Kid have worked in Taiwan, so I would assume they know Chinese as well," Noriko reasoned.

"That's all I actually know," Koopa Kid admitted sheepishly.

"Rosalina studied with Monroe under Lovro, so she probably knows Serbian as well," Nagisa noted. "Perhaps all ten of the languages Monroe knows too."

"She's said she's worked in Kenya once, so maybe Swahili…" Fia added.

"Nope, I'm not fluent in that. We just did a job there. I do know Serbian, but I worked in different countries than Monroe, so I'd say we don't speak the same languages. I don't know as many either. In total, I'm fluent in four languages, including Arabic," Rosalina explained. "As for Noriko, you're fluent in Spanish, correct?"

"Indeed," Noriko confirmed.

Brian responded nonchalantly, "Je parle français. But on the topic of speaking, there are a select few of you who have not yet contributed much to this conversation. A trivia question about Karma. What are his favorite spices?"

"Mustard and Wasabi!" Haven exclaimed.

"Sorry, we were looking for spices he cooks with," Peter explained with a sweat bead forming on his cheek.

"Exactly!"

Karma quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah, like anyone would know the answer to that ques-"

"Saffron?" Fia answered with a tilt of her head. "He also likes turmeric and cumin; I can always find the scent just lingering on his clothes," she giggled. "I mean, of course his favorite cooking is his own, but I noticed he likes getting these drinks from… the simmered…"

"The simmered au lait series," The redhead finished with wide golden eyes, struck with surprise, focused on the girl.

"Yeah, that's it~! Hehe~."

"Just what I would expect from my rising star," Brian mused. "Now, what food, besides toast, can Haven successfully cook?"

"Haven can cook?" Princess Peach asked the housemates, who wore confused expressions.

"I've tried to cook it for you guys before, but I didn't get to finish because someone stopped me."

Karma rubbed the back of his head. "You can't really blame us. Your cooking skills are usually a bit… Disastrous."

"So, any guesses?"

Fia covered her face with her hands. "It's not pasta. That. Was. Not. Pasta! Hm… Maybe breakfast?"

Karma scoffed. "Remember the first day of school?"

"Maybe it's mac and cheese? She tried to cook that over Thanksgiving, but we didn't let her," Nagisa thought aloud.

"Ding, ding, ding! That's correct. Haven can successfully cook mac and cheese!" Peter clapped.

"How can she make mac and cheese when her pasta isn't even close to edible?" Karma asked.

Fia turned to look at her senior with dismay. "Peter, it was like plastic!" she hissed under her breath.

Haven just shrugged. "Earnest and I made it all the time as kids."

Peter laughed dryly. "Well, moving on. Brian?"

"Does anyone know Mario's favorite video game?"

Koopa Kid smiled confidently and said, "Kirby: Super Star Ultra, to be exact."

"How… how did you know about that?" Mario asked in awe.

"You don't know how many times I've heard the soundtrack for that now," Koopa Kid answered as he took to awkwardly humming the tune off-beat. "Besides, you pass time with it on trips. I see the reflection of the screen in the car window."

"You didn't know?" Peach asked.

Brian interrupted with, "What is Princess Peach's weapon of choice?"

Rosalina thought for a moment before answering, "Oh! I know! It's her gun, she's always carrying it and can use it quite effectively."

'But Peach specializes in close combat," Koopa Kid pointed out. "I'd say it's her own fists."

"She usually wears brass knuckles though. I'd say those are her favorite. She's almost always carrying them and they hurt more," Mario reasoned.

"Eh-eh! All wrong. Princess Peach, what is your weapon of choice?" Peter asked the sour-looking woman.

"Knives, throwing knives to be exact. It was a family thing," the girl shrugged.

Brian peered over his companions. "With that, we conclude the trivia scheduled for tonight's show."

"Brian and I will be back though! In the meantime," Peter cheered, "let's all welcome two lovely, lovely ladies to host their very own dating game~!"

Oceanic eyes gleamed and golden-shore eyes sparkled as Irina and Rosalina brought microphones to their rosy lips. "Welcome~!" they chimed as the majority of both teams moved to sit in the audience.

"I'm Rosalina, one of your ravishing hosts for tonight~."

"I'm Monroe, the other mesmerizing host for tonight~."

As the women spoke, the couches were moved offstage and replaced by four chairs, one sectioned off from the others by a curtain. Brian and Peter walked onstage and took chairs 3 and 1 respectively.

Peter cocked his head in Karma's direction; the redhead still hadn't moved from his seat. "You aren't joining us, contestant number 2?"

"No. I never agreed to participate in this stupid game."

Brian mused. "Very well. Thank you for leaving Fia to us. Regardless of which one of us she selects, I am positive we can show her a wonderful time on our first... What do you people call it? Date?"

"Hn." Narrowing gold eyes, Karma sighed and begrudgingly moved to take seat 2 as Fia, blindfolded and with earplugs in, was shuffled across the stage and into the partitioned seat by Mario.

"Buona fortuna~," Mario called as he removed the sensory-depriving items and ran off.

"Today's featured guest," Monroe announced, "is a college junior named Fiammetta Timo. She loves both biochemistry and art, her hobbies being painting, singing, cooking, and hiding dangerous chemical concoctions from campus security-"

"THAT ISN'T A HOBBY," the Italian girl protested.

"She's Italian-born, five-foot seven, and has double Ds that will take you to heaven~," Rosalina laughed.

Fia's face flushed and she hissed, "Not everyone needs to know that!"

Irina wagged her finger. "Ah-ah-ahh. You can't make a face like that when you meet our contestants!"

"Our what?"

"Contestants! Monroe and I have elected you to be our lucky bachelorette!"

"What, why?!"

"C'mon, Fia. Work with me here," Irina insisted, "You're the only single girl here, besides Rosalina, that wouldn't try to kill us for this! Besides, when was the last time you went on a date? That's right! One itty bitty date wouldn't hurt, right~?" Irina asked in her "innocent," pleading way. Seeing Fia sigh and relent, Irina cheered "HELL YEAH!" and moved to hand each of the boys a voice-modifying microphone.

Rosalina gestured widely to the audience. "Contestant number one is a rich heir, a duke in training to be exact, from the east coast! He loves dogs and was especially fond of his Bernese Mountain Dog, Berny!"

Peter flinched. "Did you have to mention that…? Wait… Why am I speaking like a barbershop quartet baritone?"

"Contestant number two," Irina continued, "is very strong and quite the 'team leader.' He's got a brilliant mind, an independent spirit, a handsome face, and loves to have a good 'laugh' with his friends."

"A 'team leader'?" Karma questioned skeptically. "A 'good laugh'? You're both manipulating the truth here. But, more importantly, why the hell does my voice sound like I swallowed Alvin and the friggin' chipmunks!" He immediately bore a sour expression.

"Both of you shush!" Rosalina sent them both dirty looks.

"Contestant number three is a young gentleman from a small town in the southwest whose intellect and passion for his work proceeds him. As a young college student, he is seen as a prodigy of his department!"

Brian smirked, he liked the sound of 'prodigy,' which he was, of course, because what else could he be?

The elegant ebony woman smiled at Fia. "Well, now that you've met our bachelors, go ahead and ask them a question each!"

"Um… okay… Contestant number 1, you're good with animals? Even… children who behave like animals?" Fia grimaced, remembering suddenly the antics of her wild younger siblings.

"Huh? Yeah, I love animals, dogs are my absolute favorite! Kids? Well, sure, I like them, but I gotta say that I'm kind of awkward because I grew up an only child. Your siblings though- I mean the type of siblings you mentioned, is one I'm sure I could grow to adore," Peter smiled.

"Thank you, contestant number 1!" Rosalina chimed.

Fia bit her lip and hesitantly asked, "Contestant number 2, what do you look for in a girl?"

The redhead paused to think. "Well," he froze, "DAMN THIS SQUIRREL SQUEAK. Um, I like a girl who's honest, sweet, fun to tease but also easy to be around. She's understanding but goofy, but I like that about her. One day, I want to-"

"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" Brian answered, his voice made robotic by the microphone. "She only asked you one question, sir," the director explained coolly.

"Are other contestants allowed to interrupt?" the red-tailed chipmunk responded scornfully.

"But it isn't really fair to the rest of us," the first contestant replied. "You were planning to romance her with an ideal date and sweep her off her feet? You are cunning, Ka-contestant number 2."

"Lay off, man. I just got carried away…" Karma muttered.

"You got carried away or you were scheming to carry her away?" Brian replied coolly.

"Well, would you have the physical strength to do that?" Peter asked.

"I would blow her away with my massive intellect!"

"You mean ego?" the second contestant mumbled.

"As if you two are humble. Hm, Mr. Duke?" the brunette returned.

"Hey, you," Karma called to Peter, "If we fight, I get to punch that guy in his pompous face first."

Verdant hair was blown out of Peter's face. "I'm not really against that."

"I heard that!"

Irina shrieked. "CUT IT OUT, YOU BRATS!"

"I don't know, I kind of want to see them duke it out~," Rosalina said with a coy smile.

Fia sweat-dropped and quickly scrambled for a way to recover the situation. "U-Um, c-contestant number 3, what's your major?"

"I am a theater major. Was it not obvious? If you're going to act the part of a single woman looking for love, you could at least pretend to be more invested in us, Fia. You're asking the most basic of questions! Where is the spark, the surprise that is supposed to enrapture our audience?"

"... Brian?"

"You're a little slow on the uptake, Timo. I am surprised you can memorize your scripts half as well as you do."

"Meaning to say that I exceeded your expectations…?"

"Exceedingly."

"Wait…" Fia brushed aside the curtain quickly. "BRIAN, WHY ARE YOU IN A DATING GAME WITH ME?!"

"Apparently, I am a viable candidate to be your significant other. Did you not think so?"

"Um… I think what's more shocking is that you agreed to go on a date with ME," Fia responded worriedly. There was no answer from the dictator of a director.

Earthy brown eyes flicked between Brian and Fia, and Peter locked his hands behind his head. "So… Does this mean the game is over?"

"Peter, you're here too?"

"No, no. Fia is free to do whatever and whomever she pleases~," Rosalina answered.

Fia's cheeks darkened. "You phrased it like that on purpose…"

"At least I can take off that stupid mic now," Karma sighed, glad to be free of the vexatious voice.

"Karma…"

Irina raised her hands in surrender. "Do what you want. Choose that Brian kid or pick from the other two, I don't care! Just pick a date so I can go home already. This was bound to be botched from the start."

"Hmmm…. So she ended up choosing Fiamma… or should the ship name be Mafia? Both are rather fitting. I thought she might choose Petametta… that would be such a sweet ship. Bria would have been interesting as well," Narrator commented.

"W-When did you get here?!" Fia exclaimed in a flustered panic. "A-And what if I d-did?"

"I was really hoping she would choose me," Peter admitted.

"Those last two ship names sounded like food," Princess Peach mused. "When can we get out of here? I'm getting hungry."

"I've been here the whole time… I just decided to write myself in right now," Narrator explained.

"What's Nagisa x Haven's ship name?" Noriko asked disdainfully.

"Well… it started out as Naven, but I didn't like the sound of that. Hagisa didn't sound right either. In the end, I chose Shiolee. But I think Kaven could have been a cute ship if Shiolee hadn't worked out."

"Who's the Ka from? Kavi or Karma?"

"I was thinking of Kavi, but either works," Narrator shrugged.

"Me with her? I don't think so."

"Him with me? Absolutely not."

"If you'd forgotten, she hates me," Karma said bluntly.

"As if you don't hate me," Haven scoffed.

Karma quirked a red eyebrow. "I really don't."

"The characters doth protest too much," Brian interrupted the bickering.

"Think about it, Karma and Haven would be such a power couple if they could get along that is…" Narrator explained.

"That would leave Fia and Nagisa together. What would their ship name be?"

"We'd call you the Pigtail Pair!" Mario chimed.

Nagisa and Fia exchanged glances and blushed before looking away.

"Ah, look at how cute they are," Princess Peach said in a saccharine voice.

Haven grabbed Nagisa's sleeve and Karma muttered, "I'm the one with the date here…"

"But will Narrator bother actually putting us together?" Fia asked bashfully.

"Then again, Karmagisa is all over the internet…" Narrator mused.

"What's that?" Haven asked.

"Ah, shit…" Karma swore as he saw an evil glint cross Rosalina's face.

"Well," the woman drawled. "Karmagisa is the name of the romantic relationship where Karma is top and Nagisa is bottom. It's all over the internet. There's a lot of fanart and fanfiction for it, some of it even has them BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP-ing."

Almost everyone's face was bright red, the exceptions being Rosalina, Irina, and Karasuma, who just sighed.

Koopa Kid held his hands up. "C'mon, we're trying to stay family-friendly-ish here!"

"But if Karma and I were paired off…" the bluenette began slowly. "That would leave the girls together," Nagisa pointed out.

"Havia? Fiaven? Timolee?" Karasuma attempted. Fia looked at him in mild horror while Haven just stared at the man and scooted closer to Nagisa.

"Timolee could mean either Haven or Earnest, and I don't know which I'd like better. They both have their pros and cons~." Fia answered cheerfully, much to her companions' shock.

"You're actually considering it?" Noriko asked. "You already know my opinion about coworkers dating."

"Please, don't date either of us." Haven grimaced at the thought.

Irina put a finger to her lip in thought. "Hm… What could their ship name be? Earnia?"

"They'll give us all hernias…" someone muttered.

"Was that a pun?" Noriko snapped.

"That was bad, even by my standards," Fia groaned. "I don't even want to think about that being possible either."

"Then maybe Fearnest?" Brian proposed.

"That sounds kinda like forest and we both like nature and it's kinda pretty." Fia noted. "Oh! OH! Or like a furnace! My name is flickering flame after all," she laughed to herself.

"Hm," Rosalina mused as she glanced between male lead and director, "You two get along quite well. How about Prian?"

Brian scowled slightly. "I think I prefer Breter."

Green eyebrows cocked slightly. "Really?"

"I think you would both make great boyfriends!" Fia chimed. "Oh, wait, I-I don't mean together or anything but, like, if I didn't already love someone," she blushed, "I'd date either of you!"

"Wow…" Peter patted the head of his fumbling junior. "On the subject of relationships, what about crackships?"

"KOOPA KID X KARASUMA!"

Silence…

"NO WAY!" Irina screeched. Her husband just sighed in defeat.

"I don't think of him in that way at all!" Koopa Kid protested. "Besides, I like someone else anyways!" The man looked towards his long-time co-worker.

'I've already said no," Rosalina replied as she inspected her nails casually.

"I'm asking for backup!" Koopa Kid pleaded.

"Nah," Rosalina smiled, "This is kinda fun."

"Well, what about Rosalina and Monroe then?" Mario asked.

"HELL NO!" the two women exclaimed in tandem before turning to each other. "What do you mean by 'no'?!"

"I should think being with me is a dream!" Rosalina protested.

"I'm sorry, dear. You're just not my type," Irina flipped her hair.

"Well, excuse you," Rosalina huffed, "The feeling is mutual."

"I think Noriko and Kavi would make a good crack ship," Karma interrupted with a wicked grin.

"I've never even met the man," Noriko pointed out.

"He's a cool guy," Peter promised her. "He tells the best jokes!"

"That's kinda why it's a crack ship…" Nagisa explained to Noriko.

"What about Wally x Mario?" Fia offered timidly. "Oh, it's Wario!" she beamed.

"Isn't that my nemesis?" Mario asked. "Besides, I've never met him."

"I'll get him," Haven said as she pulled out her phone. "This is Wally."

"Wow, he's kinda cute," Mario smiled at the screen.

"If you want, I can take a female form," the AI offered.

"Whatever you're more comfortable with," Mario replied. There was a poof on the screen and Wally reappeared with a female avatar.

"It's-a us, Wario!" Mario joked.

"Well, looks like you two make a good couple," Princess Peach noted.

"Wait, No! I was joking! I'm not into AIs! … Or guys?" Mario panicked and turned towards his crush.

"Oh… I see how it is," the blue Ritsu said mournfully, solemnly placing a hand on her chest.

"Wait, No! I think you're great!" Mario turned back.

"Don't worry. I have a girlfriend anyways," Wally smiled as he reverted to his male avatar.

"You're flirting with me and you already have a girlfriend? How dare you," the Italian laughed.

"But, Fia," Brian called, "Although you did elect that delinquent, which of your own ship names do you prefer? Fiamma? Mafia? Petametta? Bria? Timolee? Pigtail Pair?"

"Can we not ship people?" Fia asked, her hands covering her scarlet face.

"This is . Shippers congregate here." Narrator explained.

Princess Peach gave the narrator a deadpan expression. "Correction, these creatures SPAWN here. This is their nest."

Karasuma cocked an eyebrow. "While that may be true, I'm not sure our audience will take kindly to being likened to…"

Noriko huffed, "Enough of this. Aren't we missing something? Where did my copy of the schedule go?"

"Well there was supposed to be a huge showdown between Karasuma and Koopa Kid," Peter admitted, "but we kind of got caught up with the shipping."

"I'd kinda like to see that," Karma said with a grin.

"I'm sure our Koopa Kid would win," Rosalina smirked.

"As if!" Irina scoffed. "My Karasuma is as strong as ten men!"

"Well, Karasuma? What do you say? Wanna give it a go?" Koopa Kid.

Karasuma pulled up his sleeves. "Sure, why not?"

"Want to bet on it? I say, your team's junk van for our BMW."

"Alright, if my team agrees to this."

Karma shrugged. "Anything is better than that trash heap."

"Personally, I don't think it's that bad," Haven shrugged, ignoring the people staring at her.

"Haven," Fia started carefully, "you spend all of your time on your laptop, toning the rest of us out. I don't really think you… get a say. We all already know you don't care one way or the other," she sighed.

"I normally do not condone gambling of any sort, however, in this case, I believe the larger team should have access to better resources as they have more people to be concerned about," Noriko rationalized.

Narrator laughed. "So Noriko has a petty side too."

The woman's cheeks took on an unusual shade of pink as she challenged the narrator with "What do you mean by that?"

"I believe they are about to 'duke it out.'" Brian informed the group.

Peter cleared his throat. "In one corner, we have the mass of muscles, greatest gaming agent of all time-time-time-time," he echoed. "WE HAVE THE KING OF KOOOOOPPAAAASSS! And in the other corner, we have strict manager of men-" Karasuma's eyebrow twitched "the big man from Japan, IT'S TADAOMI KARASUMA-SUMA-SUMA-MA-Maaaaa…" he trailed.

The towering Karasuma and Koopa Kid, shaking hands, stood face to face and nodded to one another. They each took a step back and-

"RO SHAM BO!" the two men shouted like super saiyans as they threw out their fists. The final result was Koopa Kid's win with paper and Karasuma's loss with rock.

"Oh come on, Mr. Karasuma! You didn't even try!" Nagisa face-palmed.

"Good job, Boss!" Mario cheered.

"Best two out of three," Noriko protested.

The two men looked at each other and shrugged.

"RO SHAM BO!" The two men yelled again and threw out their fists, however, the same results prevailed.

Karma groaned. "You're not even trying, Chief!"

"Hah! That's our Koopa Kid for you!" Rosalina flipped her hair with a smile.

"Can we get a rematch?" Fia pleaded. "Just one more!"

"Last time," Koopa Kid announced as the two men turned towards each other again.

"RO SHAM BO!"

Karasuma's hand formed paper only to be defeated by Koopa Kid's scissors. The men shook hands and headed back to their seats.

Four pairs of eyes met. "WHAT WAS THAT?" Four of the five car-mates demanded to know why Karasuma had let them down so miserably.

"Well, I tried that time." Karasuma shrugged.

"That time?" they yelled at him.

"It was fated," Haven replied flatly.

Irina smirked, "If you want better equipment, work for a higher standing~."

"Thanks, Koopa," Princess Peach slow clapped, "for submitting me to a crappy car.

"It can't be that bad." Koopa Kid countered. "From what I've heard, the car is fully functional. Nice sound system, AC works, all that jazz. I'm sure you'll be just fine."