La lalala…. Notes Noooottteeessss…. !
1. Chapter three. Yay. I feel like this needs some sort of celebration. I know, a lot of people make it past fifty, but three is a big deal for me. Corny party hats and noise makers for everyone!
2. This one is a lot more angsty than the other two. Just thought I should warn you.
3. Yeah… just an inventory check. Laptop? Check. Brush? Check. Fuzz ball? Check. Nope, don't see Inuyasha anywhere. Therefore, I do not own him. It's as simple as that.
4. I'll give you a cookie if you can name the band who wrote the song that I got this chapter title from. Seriously. Well, maybe not a real cookie, but a virtual cookie. That's just as good, right?
Take This To Your Grave
CHAPTER THREE
Kagome glanced around the hall. It was deserted, just as it always was at this time of night. Only seven days until she married Sesshoumaru, and she was far from ready, actually, she was as far from ready as it was possible to be. Slowly, she exited the room, her hakama making a bit more noise than she would have liked. It wasn't like she was sneaking out, she just didn't want to see the look on her mother's face if she saw her in a man's clothing. Okay, so she was sneaking out, but after a day of wedding and ball preparations, she really needed some time to herself.
As she walked, Kagome took her hair ribbon from around her wrist and tied it in a loose ponytail near the bottom of her shoulder blades. To her immense joy, she found the entire castle deserted as she crept out of a side exit and out into the stable yard. Her feet padding softly across the dewy grass, Kagome crossed the yard and entered the misty stables, heading over to the farthest stall from the door. A fine black head rose over the door at her call, and gave a small whicker in greeting. "Hey Ryuu, I heard you gave Sesshoumaru a good nip in the seat today, and I brought you something." The demoness whispered, stroking the smooth onyx nose while fishing a carrot out of her pocket.
The horse happily munched the treat while Kagome massaged his ears, enjoying the company of the animal and the solace of having no one around but him. Ryuu was the most difficult horse in the western lands, letting only a few choice soldiers ride him; and that was only on good days. But Kagome had befriended the beast on one of her first visits to the West, when he had just been a colt. No one knew of this, of course. It wasn't proper for a young lady to go gallivanting around with wild stallions, as her mother put it. "Rewarding the beast for bad behavior, eh, Princess?" Came a smooth, terribly familiar voice from behind her, "No wonder he gives the soldiers such a hard time. He has a benefactor giving him treats every time he misbehaves." It was, of course, Sesshoumaru. He had obviously sensed her presence when she had past his room and come out to follow her. She should have put more effort into hiding her scent. Damn him.
"I came here to be alone, Sesshoumaru," the demon lord blinked, taking a step closer to her, "meaning without you."
"I know the meaning of the word alone, wench. I am simply curious as to why a dignified princess such as yourself would seek the company of such creatures. Especially at such, ungodly hours of the night." Kagome turned away from him again, running her hands along Ryuu's sleek neck while he flared his nostrils angrily at Sesshoumaru.
"If the hour is so ungodly, why did you bother to leave the comfort of your chambers and your whores to come and get me."
"I can't have my future mate running off a week before the ceremony, can I?" He said, with a smirk that made Kagome want to kiss and slap him all at once. Slap a bit more than kiss.
"Why do you care?"
"I don't. But just think of what our mother's will say. I'll be the disgrace of the kingdom, and you'll be hunted down. Not a pretty scenario, is it?" To some extent, Kagome was hurt by his words. He really didn't care if she disappeared, just about how he would look if she did so. Burying her face in Ryuu's silky mane, she tried to stop the tears that she did not want to shed.
"I should mean more to you than that, Sesshoumaru." She mumbled through the flowing mane.
"But you don't" And without another word, he swept out of the stables, leaving Kagome, shocked, in his wake.
Kagome's pillow was soaked, once again, by tears. And, once again, they had been caused by Sesshoumaru. "I'll kill him, then bring him back so he can tell you he's sorry, then kill him again, just for good measure." Sango raved as she paced the floor, Kagome once again sitting on her bed, trusty pillow clutched to her chest.
"No, Sango, please don't. I already feel like a baby coming to you like this, and then crying over him. Don't make the situation worse."
"But if I could just-"
"No. It's not your place. Besides, if mother found out, she would have you hanged, or worse. I don't want you to get hurt on my account."
Kagome wasn't even sure why his words had stung her so, but that moment kept playing over and over in her head, each word cutting into her like the lashes of a whip. I should mean more to you, Sesshoumaru… But you don't. Maybe it was the fact that she was willing to give her all into making the best of this, and he was so insensitive as to say he didn't care, even in the slightest. Or maybe it was the fact that she wanted him to care for her. After fighting with each other for years, knowing that he was there for her during the hardest part would have been nice.
But she didn't need Sesshoumaru's support. She had lived this long without it, what made now so different? Perhaps that now she was marrying him. But that didn't matter. This would be just like all of the other fights that they'd had. She would make it through alone. She didn't need him. She didn't need him. She didn't need him. Sighing, Kagome threw herself down on the bed. And then it hit her.
She did need him.
Sesshoumaru found himself pacing his chambers, once again, his head filled with thoughts of her, again. After returning from the stables, he had attempted to go back to be, and found that he couldn't. It was her, the one that was always there, the one that wouldn't leave him alone. She had denied him sleep. In his fury, he noticed that he had ripped a pillow to shreds, and made a mental note to get a maid to replace it.
He could smell her tears from all the way down the hall, and hear her talking to her friend. About him. It was always about him. He had caused her tears, he was the cause of her pain. And the cruel, maniacal part of him relished in that fact, soaking up the sent of her tears and the sound of her sobs as if they were air, feeding off of them. And yet, there was always that small voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like his mother's, urging him to go and comfort her, to take her into his arms and never let her go.
There were only two occasions when he had listened to that voice. Once, when she was five, and the first time she had ever fallen off her horse, she scrapped her hands and knees, he had carried her up to the castle, and tended the wound himself, speaking soft, comforting words in her ear. The other time was when she was a newborn, as soon as she had fallen asleep, he had reused to let the infant go until she was practically ripped from him by her mother.
Those of course, had been his few weak moments. She would have to learn to live with it now, as they would soon be spending almost every waking hour together, even sharing his bed. The girl would have to learn to be less sensitive and not take everything he said to heart. He didn't need his mate constantly angry with him, growling at him when he returned from battle or retired to his chambers. A female's job was to comfort her male, assist him when needed, not speak unless spoken to, and be altogether submissive. And Sesshoumaru was sure she would have trouble with listening to him, accepting his dominance for the first time in her life would be most difficult for her.
But it would be fun for him, so very fun.
She was in a field. The sun was beating down on her, long, wild grass tickled her thighs, and she was completely content. A dusting of wild flowers were scattered among the long blades of grass, adding hints of purples, reds, and blues to the dusty greens and browns. Kagome bent down to pick one of the flowers, and another. She was making a bouquet, gathering the prettiest blossoms in the field for someone. But who?
And there was Sesshoumaru, standing tall on the other side of the field. She was, elated, to see him. She ran towards him, the dry stems of the flowers clutched in her small hand, and he seemed to open his arms to welcome her. Reaching his large form, she snuggled deep into his chest, inhaling the soft scent of expensive oils and soaps, and what smelled like peppermint. Kagome looked up at him, a smile on her face, that faded when she saw his cloudy expression.
With a cry, she was knocked to the ground, her flowers falling from her hand. "Do not touch me, you insolent wench. You are a fool to think I could ever care for you. A childish fool." She started to sob as he vanished, and bent low to puck up the fallen and crumpled flowers, holding them to her face.
Kagome sat straight upright in her bed, beads of sweat dripping down her face and panting heavily. It was all a dream, she realized, not real. But it was real, in some form. She was a fool to even think he could care for her, even in the slightest. It was futile. The demoness laid back down, closing her eyes and willing sleep to claim her again.
I should mean more to you, Sesshoumaru…
But you don't…
A/N: And with that depressing note, I shall leave you. I apologize for the length, but I'm going through sort of a rough period, and wanted to get this done so I wouldn't have a half finished chapter just sitting on my computer. One of my best friends tried to commit suicide and is currently in the hospital, and I will be spending a lot of time with him, so don't expect another chapter too soon. I'm sorry, once again.
