Disclaimer: How many of you here watch Inu-Yasha? Please say all of you, 'cause other this will be confusing. Now that we've got that cleared up, how many of you remember those funny credit things? You know, the things that "Give Credit" to the people who actually helped with the creation of Inu-Yasha? And it tell you based off the manga by Rumiko Takahashi (Turns out the YGO creator actually has the same last name)? Believe it or not, I'm not in the credits. Because I didn't create Inu-Yasha, and even more shockingly, don't own it. If I did, Sesshomaru would be in it so much more, because clearly he's the best character… Oh, and I don't own Twister, Trivial Pursuit, or Star Wars…or Operation.
"In the interest of plot details," Tetsaiga began.
"When have you ever cared about plot details?" Tensaiga interjected.
"Never, but I feel this is something we should do."
"Do what?"
"Have you tell what happened while Naraku kidnapped you."
"Or not."
"Why not?" Tetsaiga demanded.
"Because!"
"…"
"Fine."
"Buahaha."
"Oh go to hell."
Chapter 19: And Sometimes Strange Things Happen
No
one understands how difficult it is to be popular. That was my first
thought as I stared up at the chains around my wrists, attempting to
keep me
attached to the wall of the grungy, low-rent castle
Naraku seemed to call home.
It was, in simple terms, a great deal like that damn biology project that is an ever present worry but is never quite solvable.
Or those damn math concepts that never really make any sense even when people keep insisting at you they do.
At any rate, being beautiful only made things more
challenging. If it was Tetsaiga in my position, I'm sure that he
and Naraku would have had a jolly
good time, plotting away world
domination together, reminiscing about all those good ol'
battles.
I simply detested violence. And for all that Naraku
tried to make it seem like he was all gun hoe about killing everyone
and everything, he really
quite a sensitive soul.
I mean, honestly, locking me up over a simple thing like sticking one of those bee-like creatures up his nose? How petty can one being get?
And there were creepy crawly things in here that were just waiting to get into my hair and crawl through my ears and nibble on my brain!
I refused to die like this! I was simply too wonderful to allow the world to continue without me.
"Naraku, you damn annoyance, unshackle me or I swear to God I will destroy your pitiful little shack!"
I did not appreciate being
ignored. After all, perfection deserves to be heard. Perfection
demands to be praised. Perfection would not take this
indignity!
"Come down here, you moronic half demon! I am
not above seeking out a merry band of yodelers and sending them to
you as a gift so that they may follow
you around for the rest of
your lifespan! And with these yodelers will be sent an irate choral
instructor who will have no qualms about ripping your
internal
organs out of your body and eating them while you watch in horror,
unable to move or breathe or speak! Dammit, Naraku, the choral
instructor's
daughter will come along with her sugar high bunny
rabbit and perform the jitterbug at random intervals! I am warning
you now of your impending doom!
Now release me or suffer a fate
far worse than death as described in the previous sentences!"
There are walls in the world that prove to be far better listeners than certain other creatures inhabiting the same area. This was completely unacceptable and…ooh, the handcuffs were shiny…and hey, that white-haired kid was really creepy. Blink, girl, blink! Why won't she blink? Is she even breathing? IS SHE A ZOMBIE COME TO SUCK OUT MY BRAIN THROUGH MY NOSTRILS!
Fish. I wanted to eat fish. Maybe I could even swim with some nice fish before roasting them up for dinner-
I felt I had lost focus somewhere.
"My master wished for you to be silent until he has decided what he wishes to do with you."
Oh, right.
SHE COULDN'T EAT MY BRAINS! I LIKED MY BRAINS! She could eat Tetsaiga's brains. He wouldn't miss them.
I was getting rather hungry.
I suppose it would be in bad taste to eat the creepy little girl. On the bright side, it didn't look like anyone had ever thrown her down a well.
"Unlock these," I demanded. She didn't move.
Okay, this was getting to the point even creepy wouldn't cover it. I shivered.
Great, now I was going to get sick, too.
"Well, at least get me some food while you purposely ignore when I let myself out."
I don't know why I bothered. She was just another critic. Did no one appreciate my humor here? Would no one take me seriously?
I had to get out. My ego was suffocating.
"Master Naraku does not wish for you to have food, either."
At this point I'd even settle for the empty calories of cotton candy. Hell, I'd eat actual cotton if offered.
Was this robe edible?
Speaking of the robe,
that was just another point that went to prove Naraku's true
sensitivity. I mean, it was honestly just a small little fire.
The
burns were very mild. They didn't even cover half of his body.
And it was his own fault for wearing ugly clothing; I had to do my part to help the world out.
It was time to try a new tactic.
"Surely you can't be happy working for Naraku,
such a young, freakish child as yourself. Why don't you help me
escape, and in turn I'll do the whole
'spare you life'
thing and turn a blind eye to any and all future shenanigans you
decide you want to take part in."
"Master Naraku wishes you to be silent."
She was a remarkable conversationalist. Not as good as me, but then, since I was perfect it was hardly fair to make such a comparison.
I bet Tetsaiga was stuffing his face right now. Bastard. Perfection is not allowed to starve to death!
There was only one thing I could do.
"Little bunny foo foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head. Down came the good fairy, and she said-"
"Shut up!"
"No, actually she said-"
"I don't care what the fucking fairy said."
That Kagura woman seemed to be stressed. So much negative energy surrounded her - couldn't be good for her health.
Blech. It wasn't good for my health. I refused to throw up all over myself.
"Would you come here, creepy girl?" She might look better all covered up.
"Shut up! I know Naraku wants you alive so he can figure
out how to harness your power, but I swear if you don't stop I'll
kill you anyway!" Kagura
snapped, waving her fan in what she
thought was a menacing manner.
Poor misguided soul.
"Would you like to unchain me?" I asked her, feeling bile rise up in my mouth. Being that polite was not healthy.
At least I hadn't used the P word.
"No, I really wouldn't."
Smug bitch. No wonder everyone wanted her dead.
"Well, then would you please get Naraku down here? There are a few things I wish to discuss with him. Like the current rooming situation."
Was
that a rat? I was fairly certain I saw a rat. A rat destined to bit
my toes off and make a name for itself using one of the bitten off
toes to
conquer the rest of the rat people and form a grand rat
army that would over-run all of Japan - until the threat of foreign
countries appeared and
then the great army would be temporarily
subdued, but this rat would not be persuaded off his goal of world
domination and he and his hordes would
master the art of sea
travel, and that was when the world would fall to the power of this
one rat - that was the rat I saw!
"Unfortunately," her voice almost melted the air away with its acidic sarcasm, "Naraku is unable to speak right now. With anyone."
I couldn't imagine why. It had only been a little bit of super glue, discreetly snatched from that Kagome girl's backpack.
Most disappointing, I had thought he was stronger than that. Next time I'd just use Elmer's.
"If you'll be quiet, I might see about getting you some food."
I had been wrong about her. She was really a kind, caring-
"Come on, Kanna."
-generous, selfless, giving, helpful-
"Or I might not."
-vengeful,
tricky, deceitful, cruel, uncaring, despicable person. A fact that I
had known all along. Up a few stairs, an open door, and evil demons
have enough confidence to crush all your hopes and dreams. And
don't tell me I was exaggerating because that's exactly what she
did!
My stomach rumbled again with the slam of the trapdoor.
Tears welled up in my eyes. So hungry…
"Eat us."
That couldn't be a good sign.
"Eat us."
It couldn't possibly be. No, even perfection couldn't be that lucky.
"Eat us."
But it was! The shiny balls of
light hovering in front of my face really were the turnip and tomato
gods! All I had to do was lean forward just a
little bit
and-
"Tensaiga!" The gods disappeared.
"Nooooooooo!" Damn the InuTaisho, did he want me to starve? Was it his sick idea of "building character?"
"Leave
me alone," I sulked. None of the other ex-swords had to deal with
their former masters appearing to them. "If you can't get me out
of here, I
don't want to see you."
As annoying and
thickheaded as his two sons were, the InuTaisho's grin took the
cake. There was nothing in any of the three worlds that was more
infuriating.
So I stuck my tongue out at him.
"As
mature as ever, I see," he chuckled. I glared. He never respected
perfection. Yet try as I might, I was never able to get a hold of the
Ghostbusters to exorcise the bastard.
"So, what are you doing here?" he asked me conversationally.
"I heard about this wonderful vacation spot and simply had to check it out," I replied dryly. I couldn't help it.
If it had been at all possible, I would have slapped myself as soon as the words left my mouth.
He laughed at me.
"It's called kidnapping," I snapped, beginning to lose my temper. "It happens to people who are wanted. You probably wouldn't understand."
"You keep that attitude up and I'll turn you back into a sword," he fired back.
I smirked. It was nice to see I could still upset him properly. Even if creatures of the underworld were descending upon me from all angles.
"So, what have you done to Naraku in the
very brief amount of time you've been with him? I don't think
either of my sons will get another crack at
him, since he'll be
spending years in recovering from what I saw on my way down," the
InuTaisho laughed.
I was a little lost.
"Do you mean
the whole bee creature up the nostril? The miniscule fire I set using
his clothes as kindling? The super glue I fed him as a hint I was
hungry? Or the lightening rod I handed him as a freak lightening
storm randomly appeared just above him long enough to electrocute
him? The gum I
put in his hair? The caterpillars I stuffed in his
ears?
"Or maybe you're talking about my inviting the Big
Bad Wolf over and that small section of castle that will take weeks
to rebuild? Or those bears that
poured porridge into the water
supply?
"Perhaps you're talking about how I managed to
lead that bumbling Hojo guy in long enough for him to trample that
baby with pink hair - never did catch
his name. Or maybe you're
talking about how I accidentally dropped the baby down a well? Hey,
that Samara girl was lonely!
"Surely
you can't be talking about the impromptu Barry Manilow concert I
held? Or maybe when I broke the news to him that the Spice Girls
weren't
popular anymore? Or was it that time portal you think
was the problem?
"And for the record, I really didn't mean to stab him with that gel pen. I slipped," I defended myself.
What did he want from me?
"You have to get back to my sons. Things are about to wrap up and you need to be there to ensure things go smoothly - or the deal is off."
I hate psychic ghosts.
"You know what you have to do," he said a little too cheerfully. Then he disappeared.
"Sure! Leave me to do all the work!" I shouted. Not that he was listening to me, but it made me feel better.
"I said, shut up!"
Wow, that Kagura girl had good ears.
I sighed. I really hated doing this, so unrefined.
All right, a little concentration…
"Dragon Strike!"
But it did make
such pretty blue lights, was my thought as the force of the attack
drove me out of my shackles, through the basement, up, up and away
through the ceiling of the castle. As it turned out, that Kagura
woman had been standing right on top of the trap door - her hearing
wasn't actually
that impressive.
But she could make some pretty amusing facial expressions, I noted as I flew by her.
They
really don't make castles like they used too. Or super villains for
that matter. One measly attack and the entire structure crumbled, but
you
could see three figures lying among the rubble.
I winced. Naraku really didn't look too good.
Ah well, it wasn't my problem. Those two idiot brothers, however, were.
"Ah, the fun, back to Western Castle for the end of this little drama."
I was certain whatever was going to happen would be worth witnesses - not that I had a choice in the matter. Damn dog demons.
Author Notes: Thank you all so much for the reviews! And I apologize if this chapter wasn't as good as I had made it sound like it was going to be…and when I say that, I mean as funny. On that note, we should all take notice that I have finally gotten around changing the genre from angst to humor. One could say that this story did not end up like I had intended, but I think it's better than it might have been. –shrugs- ah well. And on a happy note (trying to ignore the fact that there is to be yet another week a pointless episode next week…apparently they're finding it really hard to get rid of Akitoki's sword. Me, I just have difficulty spelling his name) things are warming up! It is no longer below twenty degrees- as a high. And I have now finally seen all of the last episode of the Cell Saga in Dragonball Z- not that I imagine that really matters to any of you. ONE LAST THING: I could end this story (sans the epilogue) one of two ways, I can end it in two chapters with Inuyasha, or I can have the last chapter be a shorter Sesshomaru POV, just to hear his thoughts on that last part of the Inuyasha chapter. I'm curious to know which you would prefer. With that said, you now all must review. Really, you must.
InuSessyYaoiGirl: They did! And next chapter we get to see Kagome's reaction! –insert evil laughter- A lot of things happened last chapter, did they? I have seen the 2nd movie…it wasn't that bad…it was just so blah I barely remember what happened…I've decided I do like Hojo's ancestor, though. And thank you for saying my story was better! If not, I'd be worried you'd fallen asleep in front of your computer –grins-
Davinci: -grins- It's okay. You're excused for what sounds like a wonderful time. –laughs- I'll try hard not to get too jealous, having no time like that around here. We're a very blah community. …but I'm glad you enjoyed last chapter- I'll pretend the overdose of sugar had nothing to do with it. Hehe…
And the wheel, goes round! Well, until someone hits it and it stops.
