Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences

By: Aviantei

Chapter Fourteen, Parsing Data

Orihara Izaya: Inverse Loneliness


Tanaka Taro: You guys have got it all wrong.
Tanaka Taro: I was there, I saw it all. That isn't how it went down. Those guys weren't part of the Dollars.
Tanuki Usagi: Me, too…
Tanuki Usagi: I saw it, too.
Kanra: No, no, not that~
Kanra: Just now, some guys calling themselves the Dollars rolled some pedestrians for all their cash…
Tanaka Taro: What?
Kakkoii_chan: That sounds messed up if you ask me.
Kanra: Isn't it scary~? It scares me~
Kanra: I'd steer clear of the Dollars~
Kakkoii_chan: It's hard to take you seriously when you use all those tildes.
Kanra: Huuuuh~?
Kanra: But I'm being serious right now~~~~
Tanaka Taro: …okay.
Kanra: The Dollars kinda
Kanra: freak me out.
Tanuki Usagi: The Dollars wouldn't really do something like that, would they?
Kanra: Oh? Usagi-chan, you a fan of the Dollars?
Tanuki Usagi: Ah, it's…
Kakkoii_chan: Lay off, ya freak.
Kakkoii_chan: You gotta admit it's strange, tho.
Tanaka Taro: Yeah, I've never heard of the Dollars doing stuff like that before…
Kanra: Didn't you just move here a bit ago, though?
Kanra: Stories like this happen all the time, you know.
Kanra: Gangs are scary~
Kakkoii_chan: I'm half tempted to tear that key off your keyboard.
Kanra: Those sorts of threats don't work when it's a touch screen, Kakkoii-chan!
Tanaka Taro: Sure, but they might just be stories, right?
Tanuki Usagi: I agree with Taro-san.
Tanuki Usagi: That sort of stuff doesn't sound like the Dollars at all.
Kanra: Whoa!
Kanra: You're both secret Dollars fans!
Kanra: Or maybe…
Kanra: You're both part of the Dollars?!
Kanra: My mom was right, the internet's a scary place.
Tanaka Taro: It's not like that!
Tanuki Usagi: I'm not, though…
Kakkoii_chan: Who cares if you are and if you aren't?
Kakkoii_chan: Either way, Dollars or not, there are a lot of punks out there who like to use powerful names to sound powerful.
Kakkoii_chan: So be careful when you go out, okay?
Kanra: …what do you think you're doing sounding so responsible?
Kakkoii_chan: Hm? Me?
Kakkoii_chan: Someone has to sound rational
Kakkoii_chan: To combat all that nonsense coming out that mouth of yours.

Kanra [Private Mode]: What's the point in playing devil's advocate to me?
Kanra [Private Mode]: You know as well as I do
Kanra [Private Mode]: Who all we're dealing with here.
Kakkoii_chan [Private Mode]: I'm sitting not even three meters away from you. Do use your words, Izaya-kun.


Sure enough, Sosa was still in my office, even though evening had fallen a few hours ago, and she had made no indications of moving. She had just taken to tapping away on her phone the whole time. Even when I had turned away, she still typed, though less messages from her showed up on the chat than would be expected. She had to be private messaging someone—Aiako was the best option.

"You do know you have your own apartment to hang out at," I said. Sosa flicked her eyes up to mine for a moment, but turned back to her phone. She smiled, but it was such a default hyperactive reaction for her that I didn't read any meaning into it. "Unless you're worried about being lonely."

"I'm more worried about you, Izaya-kun. In this big space all by yourself with no one to talk to," Sosa said, grinning a bit wider. "But that's not what you wanted to talk about just a minute ago. Don't tell me you forgot."

I kept an eye on the string of the chat, which had transitioned over to pestering Tanaka Taro-kun of how he'd seen something so crazy after having just moved into the area. Nothing I needed to prod along. "I'm not the one with the intentional ADD attention span." Sosa stuck her tongue out. "But, yes, you're the one who invited Aiako-chan to the Dollars. Defending her doesn't have a point."

"And Tanaka Taro's a name I've seen on the message boards before." Sosa stretched out a bit, sighing as her shoulders popped. She had noticed. I thought such a common sounding name might have deferred her interest. She caught my skeptical expression. "I do have attention to detail, you know. Like how since he saw your little show today plus just moved to Ikebukuro, that means Tanaka Taro is Ryuugamine Mikado-chan."

We had reached the same conclusion. It also meant that, for all his innocence, Ryuugamine Mikado was part of the Dollars, too. Not that you had to be intimidating to be part of the Dollars. They were a gang in nothing but name, a community of people enjoying a secret forum.

"How much of today did you plan out? Don't think I didn't notice the interest you took in Mikado-chan." Sosa put her phone aside and sat up straight. Tanaka Taro and Tanuki Usagi continued to converse among themselves regardless. "Seeing him was your errand, right? So how much did you plan?"

"Who me?" I stood up to pace across the room. Even though my job consisted of staring at a computer a good amount of the time, I knew to let myself stretch. It was what let me stay out of Shizu-chan's clutches after all. "I didn't plan the whole thing out…just parts."

Sosa pouted, though a flash of seriousness remained in her eyes. "That's cool and all, but you're being vague."

"You're the one claiming to have—'attention to detail,' was it? Figure it out on your own."

Not that I minded sharing information with her, as she was my employee. But even as my employee, I didn't have to tell her everything. We were allies, but we were the same kind. If she got it into her head to turn on me, or if I had a similar whim, having a distinction between who knew what was critical. Not that she was incapable of finding things out on her own.

If she couldn't figure that much out, then there were limits to how much I could use her.

But I know she can perform to and beyond the expectation.

"'Please hack into my computer, Sosa-chan,'" she said, hopping over the back of the couch. I still couldn't figure out how she could be so comfortable lounging around with those cords wrapped around her every which way. "Got it. Should I start while you're here, or wait until you leave?"

She strolled towards the computer, but I caught her arm and spun her around to face me as we passed each other. "You're forgetting whose home this is again. Mine, not yours."

Sosa shrugged, but didn't resume heading to the computer. "Eh, I know you don't keep info like that in physical form. It's all up here." She tapped her own temple. "But you don't have to play polite with me. Why don't you just tell me to get out if that's what you want?"

That she could say things like that with full amusement instead of any sense of irritation was a wonder in its own right. In fact, when she said it, I wasn't sure if that was what I had been intending. She was fun to have around, and it wasn't like we had a curfew or anything. But I was still planning the upcoming events and trying to figure out where the string of life in the city was taking things. That was the biggest importance of all, beyond just sorting out the information for the Awakusu and Fujimoto-kai.

"What I'm saying is that I need some fresh air and you do, too." I gestured to the door, and Sosa's soft steps padded against the carpet. I shrugged my jacket onto my shoulders and Sosa returned her phone to her pocket while slipping into her shoes. "Let's talk while we walk, alright?"


I enjoyed evenings in Ikebukuro because they had their own charm to them. Of course, the city was an exception that some of its most fantastical events unfolded even in midday where in other places they would wait until night. The little encounter with Mikado, Masaomi, and friends earlier was a prime example of wonder without filters. That just meant that the nightlife had to be even more spectacular in comparison.

But for the evening we stayed out of the drinking and club districts, taking back roads and bridges from Shinjuku all the way back to Ikebukuro. Sosa and I alternated picking out turns, trying to find the most convoluted and interesting path back to her apartment. It was a wonder that, even in one of the most dense populations in the world, there were still areas devoid of any people, with minimal streetlights to illuminate the path.

"You were right in that I planned to meet Mikado-kun today—or rather, Tanaka Taro-kun," I said, skimming through a few data files on my phone as I skipped through the night. Sosa skipped in time with me, but based on her frown, she couldn't keep up with what I was reading. "That was my big mission, really, so I planned to wander around until I found him. The rest was the city being kind enough to be entertaining."

"Yeah, okay, I got that," Sosa said, giving up on hopping and just keeping pace beside me. I tucked my phone with Ryuugamine Mikado's profile on it back to my pocket. "But how did you figure out who Tanaka Taro was in the first place? Lots of kids transfer into the city to go to school. Not that I did."

Yes, she had attended the local college prep school near her parent's home. And I had been enrolled in Raira since elementary school, so my choice in high school was obvious—not that I would have wanted to leave the city anyway. Even back then it was interesting.

I waved a finger in the air, the cold beam of a streetlight glinting off my ring. "Now, now, I've been chatting with Tanaka Taro-kun for a long time." A few years, in fact, back when the Dollars had first started up. He'd been a member since the early days, though there I interacted with him as Nakura. "I've heard a lot about the town he came from—a lonely middle of nowhere farm town. There aren't too many kids who come from there, so I just had to compare transfer records for all the schools in Ikebukuro."

Sosa snorted. "Should I call the police? You taking such an interest in high schoolers and all that."

I returned her feigned concern. "I'd say you're worse—Aiako-chan's just a middle schooler, after all." We shared a smirk. As if age had anything to do with whether or not someone was interesting. "And beyond that, I've seen that town name before, so it was easy to figure out."

"Where was that?"

"It's where Kida Masaomi grew up."

I selected our next turn—one that went in the opposite direction of Sosa's place—as the woman processed the information. It didn't take long for her to nod in understanding. They came from the same place and they were together today. Having Tanaka Taro say he'd seen the day's "Dollars" attack just confirmed it. It was as simple as that.

"Hm, I wonder how Mikado-chan's doing then," Sosa mused, running her hand alongside the guard rail along the side of the road. She stared up to the sky, not even concerned for the direction we were going. I considered seeing if she would get lost if I disappeared, but there wasn't a crowd to blend into. It was easy enough to find your way when you were in residential districts, anyway, even if most people were asleep. "You have to admit that whole deal is beyond the scope of what normal people deal with, even if he is a Dollar. Think you scared him?"

I shrugged. If he got scared so easily, there wasn't much that could be done for him. But if he didn't… Well, sharing unrefined instincts wasn't my job. "What about that protégé of yours?" I asked. "She looked pretty freaked out to me. Don't tell me you're not even going to try to get Aiako-chan into working condition."

Sosa danced ahead to a street lamp and circled it once. Even in dim light, her eyes stuck out as beyond normal. "Don't you worry about that, Izaya-kun," she sang. "Now I have a good idea of what she's capable of. The real work starts soon." Her grin let me know she was withholding information, too. "Now you just don't disappoint me when things start getting real, okay, Izaya-kun?"

I stopped at the street intersection and waved out a palm, gesturing for Sosa to take her pick in the road. "I could say the same for you, Sosa-chan."


"Oh, don't be like that. I'm sure I'll be enlisting your services again," I assured as Celty counted the payment I had just handed her. "I just want to stay on your good side. For as long as that may be."

[Am I wrong, or did that sound creepy?]

"You're wrong; I'm simply misunderstood."

I waited for Sosa to toss in her usual crack at my image, but she stayed silent. Leaning against the same railing I was, she continued to tap away at her cell phone. She'd been hooked onto messaging for the past few days, even though someone like Aiako-chan should have been in school at the time of day—no, they were almost done. I had my curiosities, but I saw Sosa on a regular basis. Giving Celty snippets of information in person where I could watch her reaction was a much rarer occasion.

So I kept my focus where it was supposed to be, and Celty drove off in a matter of minutes. It was quite a bit of a trek to Yoyogi park from where we were, but that bike of hers surpassed most other vehicles by a long shot.

"You told her about that painter?" Sosa asked, still tapping away at her phone. I nodded once she looked up to me. "You're just messing with her again. You know that guy's not at Yoyogi anymore."

I raised an eyebrow as the train clattered past on the rails above us. "You seem to be questioning my intentions a lot lately," I remarked. "Don't tell me you're getting bored already."

"No, no, of course not!" Sosa shook her head, sending her hair in all directions. It was a good thing she had it cut short, otherwise she'd be left with a tangled mess to deal with. "This is fun. Tons of fun. Between you and everything else I'm having so much fun I don't think I can stand it." She blew her bangs out of her eyes, though they didn't fall anywhere close to back in place. "I'm just saying if I were her, I'd be a lot more suspicious that you know what a Dullahan is."

"Celty isn't stupid, but she doesn't think anywhere near in the same directions you do." I crossed my legs and leaned backwards on the railing, holding onto the top to keep my balance. The street was empty, so leaning out into it didn't pose any danger. Sosa hummed in response, still tapping away. I swung myself back up and scowled. "Can't you put that thing down while you're working?"

Sosa laughed, sliding her phone shut. "Okay, Mr. I-have-twenty-different-cell-phones. No, wait, there's twenty-three of them." She snickered again, stuffing her own back into her pocket. "One for each year of living. Does that mean I should get you a twenty-fourth here in May? To continue the tradition?"

Given that I kept seven of those phones hidden for special contacts or for emergency situations, I was impressed she had found them all. It was better than having just one and letting all your info rest in one place—like a certain employee of mine. "Your birthday's sooner, though. Should I get you a second phone, to up your status as an information broker?"

"Seems like a bit of a stretch for a guy who won't even buy me an office chair." A girl whizzed past on a bicycle. Sosa and I watched her pump her legs for a moment, then looked away at the same time. No one interesting. "Well, that was our last errand for today. I know I have to break tradition and come in tomorrow to work that job for Maki-chan, but we're all clear for now, right?"

"Yes, though you seem eager to get going." I stood back up, and Sosa kicked her legs in a silent rhythm. "You sure you're not getting bored? You haven't even seen anything good yet."

Sosa grinned. "You getting worried?" she asked. She hopped to her feet, too. Being close to my height, she didn't have to stretch much to pat my head, mussing my hair into a similar state to hers. "Don't worry, Izaya-kun, you're still one of my favorites. I just like playing with toys by myself sometimes, that's all."

So she was acting on her own. Not that I had expected anything less. "That's a bit unfair. Do you plan to share?"

"You've played with this toy by yourself plenty. It's my turn now." Sosa's phone chimed, and she pulled it out. "Ah, I'm gonna be late if I keep standing around here, and that's a no go. Permission to head out?" I waved Sosa on her way. She tipped a bow in my direction. "My date thanks you."

It was my turn to snort. "A date?" I asked. "Don't tell me you're thinking of settling down with someone. I know you're at that age, but you have so many more interesting things to do before you have to resort to that level of mediocrity."

"Don't be gross, Izaya-kun," Sosa said, tossing me a wave. She ran off in the same direction the bike had whizzed by in, tossing glances at her phone as she went. Whatever she was doing, she seemed to be amused.

But saying it's someone I've already played with enough doesn't exactly narrow down the list of suspects.

Well, I could follow her, but there wasn't much need. If it was something interesting, Sosa would either tell me in excitement or I would see the results. I would have an evening to myself at any rate.

"Bring back something good for the rest of the class, won't you, Sosa-chan?"


[Author's Notes]

Alright, chapter fourteen-AKA catching up on the aftermath of episode three and slipping in that Izaya and Celty encounter from episode four. We are steadily moving along here. Now I just need time to buckle down and get everything in action.

Thanks go out Petra0suomesta, PetuniaLilyEvans, ColorlessScythe, Neko422, and for the favorites and follows since last time! Additional thanks go out to SpicySnowflake, for their super nice PMs they sent me about this and my other DRRR! fics! You guys make it extra exciting to come and update chapters, so thank you very much!

As promised, here's the next chapter as part of my ten-year fanfiction anniversary celebration, and hopefully everyone is having a happy holiday season as well! If you happen to be into any of my other fics, stay tuned for new chapters coming your way. As for this story, I have big plans to go ahead and make more regular updates to my stories in the future (though I don't have a guaranteed update date for this fic yet), so please look forward to it!

-Avi

[12.24.2018]