Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences
By: Aviantei
Chapter Fifteen, Connecting
Tekichu Sosa: Gravitational Attraction
"Sosa!" Semyon called the moment he saw me approaching the store front. "You here to buy sushi? Sushi good."
I tossed him a wave. Cutting through the crowd was easy as most passerby avoided Semyon's immediate radius. "Yeah, I'm meeting with a friend." If he still was willing to consider me that. He'd agreed to meet up with me, so that had to count for something. I shrugged it off and patted Semyon's thick arm. "We'll eat lots, so mind me we use a booth?" I flashed him a smile. Semyon was kind enough that I didn't need to manipulate a damn thing to earn his favor.
"No problem!" the man declared, ushering me inside. Dennis nodded at us from the counter, then went back to his work. The weather wasn't enough to warrant massive A/C, but fish had different priorities than the living. Funny how they took more maintenance when dead than alive. "Having friends is good. Close friends even better. Oh, but friends! Sosa, you should teach yours not to start fights. Violence doesn't help anyone."
No doubt he was referring to Izaya and Shizu-chan's aborted melee. I snorted and slid open the booth door on my own—the very same I had met Dotachin's lovely group at. A bit much space for two, but I had my limits to what conversations I would hold in public. I dropped into my cushion. "You expect me to get between those two monsters? You're the only one who could do that and come out in one piece, Semyon-chan."
Semyon hummed at the honorific, not bothered in the least. I considered switching to diminutives, but didn't know Russian anywhere as well as English. "Fighting still bad," Semyon said, edging out of the room. "You may not use strength, but you use words, Sosa. Talk some sense." With that cheerful proclamation, he slid the door shut.
He came back a few minutes later with the customary Russian Sushi tea, of course. It was the bitter sort of green stuff used to kill your taste buds as to better appreciate each bite of sushi. Semyon didn't even flinch when I asked him for sugar. Not having any packets on the table, as the establishment didn't call for that, he dragged out an entire bag of sugar from the kitchen and set it in the middle of the table for me.
The next time the door opened, it was Masaomi on the other side. Whatever serious expression he'd been trying to maintain crumbled the moment he saw the table. I had already emptied at least an eighth of the bag into my mug and set about folding the corners back into place.
"You didn't come here to stand around and stare at me, Masaomi-chan," I said, flashing him the newest smile. He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. Satisfied with my work, I went to tuck the sugar bag on the other side of the table. "Wait, did you want some, too? I didn't mess with your mug 'cause I didn't know how you liked it, but I'm willing to share." Masaomi just shook his head. "Come on, take a seat. And do close the door behind you, okay?"
I hadn't let any serious notes into my voice, but Masaomi still snapped to attention like he'd been sleeping in class and I was his disappointed teacher. In reality, I wouldn't have cared less if that were the case—but there were plenty of reasons why I shouldn't be in any educational position, much less a high school instructor.
Having followed instructions, Masaomi sat across from me and continued taking slow, measured breaths through his nose. I propped my elbows on the table and rested my chin atop my hands. "No clever pickup lines this time? Have I disappointed you so much that you don't even want to play around anymore?"
"I—" Masaomi shook his head and shut his eyes. When he opened them again, his expression had set into the sort of mask I hadn't seen since I was in America—of someone trying too hard to stand in a position they didn't want. It was a shame we were taking this approach, but I'd allow it. "Sosa-san, did you know Izaya-san when we first met?"
I closed my own eyes, not bothering to watch his physical reactions. "I did."
"So," Masaomi said with the slightest of trembles. He could play tough all he wanted, but there were some things you just couldn't hide in your voice. "Did you know about me, then? Is that why you went along with me?"
"Is that what you're worried about?" I asked. Masaomi's metered breaths broke for a second, and I opened my eyes a fraction just in time to catch his flinch. "I met Izaya-kun before I met you, but I hadn't heard anything. I just thought you were interesting, so I decided being your friend would be fun." I gave Masaomi a small smile, but it didn't do much to settle his nerves. "What are you really afraid of?"
"Don't you know the answer?" Masaomi said. I did, but wasn't in the mood to bring that sort of conversation up. I gave him a vague smile. The kid may have had some good instincts, but reading someone like me was far beyond his league. "Sosa-san, I don't wanna be your enemy. But if you're close to Izaya-san, I…"
His voice faltered, and so did his will to keep eye contact with me. Masaomi stared at his no longer steaming mug of tea. Semyon had read the mood well and hadn't come to ask us for our order yet. I'd have to leave him an extra-large tip for that; Izaya wouldn't object to the money filtering into his favorite sushi place, after all.
I downed the rest of my tea, dregs of sugar coalescing on my tongue. A second round might have been in order. Bored of the silence, I put my mug down, knocking into the surface of the table. Masaomi jumped. Glad to have his attention, I leaned across the table at him. "So, what are you planning to do with Aiako-chan?"
"Me?" Masaomi spluttered. "What are you doing with Aiako-chan? She's, like, fourteen and takes ten thousand years to talk to—how did you even meet her in the first place?"
His flustered ramblings told me all I needed to know: he had been worried about his friends. Not himself, not that he'd have to live through anything like the Yellow Scarves again, but that Aiako-chan and Mikado-chan and Glasses-chan and even the girl I partway recognized would be dragged into some mess. And while I couldn't guarantee that they wouldn't, it was nice to know where Masaomi's priorities lied.
So I put a hand on my chest and did my best impersonation of Masaomi's flirtatious tone. "Why, just like you and me, fate brought Aiako-chan and I together," I said. Masaomi fought down a laugh. I reached across the table to poke him in the forehead. "She's my precious protégé and that's what I'm doing. I'd never let anyone hurt her—even if it was Izaya-kun. So don't go doubting me, you got it?"
"That explanation is full of things to doubt," Masaomi said. He caught the smile before it formed on his face, but I knew he was getting pulled into the banter. "First off, what do you even do for a living?" I opened my mouth, but Masaomi waved a hand to stop me. "Never mind, forget I asked." I shrugged, still grinning. "You're not gonna drag her into anything dangerous, are you?"
"Oh, you think the other day wasn't dangerous?" Masaomi grimaced, breaking eye contact again. Saying that getting into the middle of an Orihara Izaya-Heiwajima Shizuo fight wasn't dangerous would be out of anyone's mind, even mine. I traced the rim of my tea mug with my ring finger. "I can't guarantee that things might not get dicey, but I will protect her. She's coming along with me of her own free will; I can at least do that much."
Masaomi looked me over again, sizing me up. I may have gotten a bit out of shape in the past year by just sitting around, but I could protect a girl from some lame punks. Hell, Aiako-chan could run faster than most of them, anyway. Given that Masaomi himself looked all the world like a twig but could pack a punch (or so I'd heard) meant he should have known better than to judge on appearances.
He sighed and hit me with one of the hardest dead-on stared I'd received in a while and said, "I want your word."
I snickered. "Now, now, Masaomi-chan," I said. "Even if I did that would you believe me? 'Cause I know you wouldn't." He didn't deny the accusation. "Besides, if I promised that, I'd want the same deal from you. I mean, you're running around with two other girls at your school, plus have a poor little kouhai who doesn't know better. You're not planning on taking advantage of that, are you?" I dropped my voice low. "Because if you are, then we really would be enemies, Masaomi-chan. And forget Izaya-kun; you don't want to be on my bad side."
Color drained from Masaomi's face, making his skin almost match his white shirt. I could've thought all day about why I was so protective of Aiako-chan, but at the end of the day it boiled down to one simple fact:
I didn't take it well when my toys were damaged by anyone's hands but my own.
"But," I said, clapping my hands together, "I don't think that you're all too serious about your flirting, so it's alright." Masaomi said something that got lost in his breath. "And I think you're delightful. So, since you're not planning on hurting Aiako-chan, and I'm not planning on hurting Aiako-chan, then we can be friends." I flashed him a thumbs up, but Masaomi still looked like he had just watched a cat get run over in the street. "Damn, you look pale. I think you need some food in you. Oi, Semyon!"
The man must've been lying in wait with how he opened the door seconds after I spoke. "We ready for sushi? Oh, Kida, not look so good. Need food to be strong. Full special platter for Kida, coming right up!"
"Two please," I added, holding up the appropriate number of fingers. "Oh, and more tea, Semyon-chan. Talking so much really dries out the mouth, you know."
"Yes, yes." Semyon accepted my mug, then looked back to Masaomi. "You no drink, Kida? No good. Be hydrated! Be full! Ah, double order of special sushi for Kida then."
That shocked the blond into awareness. "Wait a minute," he said, not stopping Semyon as the man shut the door. Masaomi groaned, slumping onto the table. "I can't eat all that. And I wanted mackerel instead…"
I reached out to pat his shoulder. "No worries, I'll help you eat it." Masaomi looked at me with one eye almost twitching. Izaya had had a similar reaction when I had eaten the special without issue. Sure, it was unorthodox, but it was delicious. "And you can order extra, too. I'll front the bill this time, Masaomi-chan, so get whatever you like."
Masaomi's next look was one of suspicion. "What's the catch?"
I grinned. Smart boy. "The catch," I said, twirling a lock of hair around my finger, "is that you're gonna tell me every last detail of how you and Mikado-chan met Aiako-chan."
I'd naturally asked Aiako-chan for the same information, but it was always interesting to see how people viewed the same events in their own personal lenses. One long conversation, multiple sushi platters (including Masaomi's requested mackerel), several mugs of tea, and almost the entire bag of sugar later, I had gotten the information I had asked for and then some.
Even though Raira's high school and middle school buildings weren't in the exact same place, they were still roughly close enough. Masaomi had been on the prowl for girls to hit on, happened to drag Aiako into it, and Mikado had been the one to save her as she'd gotten beyond flustered. Despite the awkward introduction, Aiako had become rather attached to her precious Senpai. Judging by the sound of it, there hadn't been too much time between then and her initial encounter (and subsequent fleeing from) me and Izaya.
"Going after middle schoolers, Masaomi-chan," I said, sending a smirk over my latest mug of tea. While I was stuffed to the brim with sushi, liquid followed their own set of laws. As Masaomi's mouth flapped, I tutted in my best impression of a disappointed mother. "I expected better of you."
"Look, it's not what you think." Masaomi scrambled for an answer, even though he must've known I wasn't serious by now. His flailing was pretty cute, though, so I let him at it. "She was all dressed up—not even in her uniform or anything." I thought Aiako-chan still looked like jailbait, even out of uniform, but whatever. "Besides, she's still only a year younger than me. Stop making this sound worse than it already is!"
I snickered. "You're way too fun to tease, Masaomi-chan." His entire face had turned beet red, which just made it even better. "But we both already know that you wouldn't dare do anything to hurt my precious protégé, right?" He nodded so fast I had to applaud his performance. "Then there's nothing to stress about! Still, I was wanting to ask you something else, since I have you here…"
Masaomi sat up so his back was ramrod straight. "What's that, Sosa-san?"
"Ugh, stop calling me '-san' already; I can't take it!" Sure, it was better than Tekichu-san or some other nonsense, but still. I'd threaten him to stop, but I get the feeling that would have the opposite effect. Picking myself up from my sprawl across the table, I got back on topic. "Anyway, I was gonna ask about the other girl with you."
"Huh? I think her name's Anri-chan. I don't know her too well; Mikado's the one—"
I held up a hand and shook my head. "No, no, not Megane-chan." Masaomi blinked, trying to process my nickname. While it was nice to have a name to the face—or, in this case, name to the glasses—Megane-chan didn't give me any sort of weird déjà vu feeling. "The other girl. The one you ran off with. You know, the one with the red eyes." You would think, having such a distinctive feature like that, I wouldn't have a hard time recognizing her, but my memory wasn't cooperating, even days later. If I admitted such a thing to Izaya, he'd question my capacity as an information broke for sure.
Thankfully, Masaomi had no such issues, his eyes lighting up in recognition. "Oh, you mean Linda-chan!" The previous stiffness had vanished from his posture, leaving only an overexcited puppy in teenage boy form. "She's in my class with me. She's a transfer student from America, but she's not half bad at Japanese. Now her—she's totally on my list, along with Anri-chan."
Wait, from America? The gears were turning in my head, but I knew better than to jump to conclusions, especially when I had a ready source of information right in front of me. "What's her family name?" I asked, some of my urgency from slipping into my voice. Masaomi didn't notice.
"Huh? Oh, it's something weird. I always suck at pronouncing it. Aido—Eito—No, gimme a sec." He screwed up his face, as if he was trying to unravel a complicated tongue twister. After a few seconds of misspoken syllables, he put the pieces together in his mind. "Aiderucarno? Ah, dammit, I can never get the Ls right. Aide—"
"Eidelcarn," I finished for him, patching over the characters into romanization.
Masaomi snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's it!" he said before blinking. "Wait, Sosa-san, how did you—?"
"Are you shitting me? She's a fucking Eidelcarn?!" I grabbed onto the sides of my head and shouted my frustration toward the ceiling. Why the hell hadn't I noticed? More importantly, why hadn't he told me? "Linda-chan's going to school in Ikebukuro? What the fuck is hap—"
The door to our private booth slammed open, and I slammed my mouth shut, fearing the ire of a certain sushi chef. Masaomi had also frozen in his frantic attempts to console me, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. Izaya had given me plenty of warnings about Semyon and Dennis, and I fully expected to have a chef's knife flying at me any second. But that didn't happen, because—
"Linda Eidelcarn, reporting for duty!" said an alto voice, thick with a faked Russian accent. Sure enough, the figure standing above us was the red-eyed girl, though she'd changed into a Russia Sushi uniform and had pulled her thick hair back into a ponytail. "No yelling in restaurant. It bad for business!" The more she spoke, the more obvious it was that she was imitating Semyon.
Wait, that's not the main point at all!
"Linda-chan!" Ignoring the instructions not to shout, I pointed a finger at Linda for good measure. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were coming to Japan? Wait, scratch that! Why the fuck didn't you say hi to me the other day?"
"Ah, Sosa!" Linda dropped her fake accent in an instant and launched herself towards me for a hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be in Ikebukuro. And when you didn't say anything to me, I figured you were doing something top secret so I kept my mouth shut."
Yeah, she could just go without me telling her that I had totally failed to recognize her—though in my defense she'd grown up quite a bit these past few years, and I'd never expected to see her running around Tokyo in a high school uniform. "Still, you could've told me."
"I know, I know, but—"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold up," Masaomi said, looking beyond flabbergasted at the impromptu dogpile Linda had trapped me in. He pointed a finger between me and Linda, like he had no idea who to accuse first. "What's even going on?"
"Oh! Hey, Masaomi!" Linda said, waving to her classmate like she'd just noticed he was there.
"Hey, Linda-chan, you're looking as lovely as ever—no, that's not the point!" Masaomi slammed his hands on the table, rattling our empty dishes and threatening the swift intervention of Dennis eyeing us from behind the counter. "You guys know each other?"
"Well, yeah, of course we do," I said. Linda released me from her hold to sit back up, and I smirked, even though I tell my hair was sticking out in every sort of direction. "Linda-chan is my college roommate's little sister."
[Author's Notes]
It wouldn't be a Durarara! fanfic without random character connections cropping up everywhere. Cue Linda Eidelcarn, the younger sister of Sosa's college roommate, AKA that OC with red eyes I slipped into episode three. I take no real credit for Linda-chan, as she's borrowed, but I am choosing when to poke her around in this story. And her name may or may not be a reference to Masaomi's character song.
Thanks go out to all the lovely folks who've read since last chapter, including the delightful SpicySnowflake who's continued to send me nice PMs to share their thoughts on the story. Even if I don't have names to mention, I sincerely appreciate you all!
But, yes, this chapter was kind of in the works for a while, and I got it tidied up to a point where I enjoyed the results. Masaomi is naturally suspicious of Sosa's association with Izaya. Sorry, Masaomi. Ikebukuro just be like that.
I recently got the chance to put some good work into this fic, so rest assured that updates in the future are guaranteed! I'll be holding off a bit to update my other fics, but you'll see chapter 16 in a few months, and we'll dive into what Izaya's getting himself into. Please look forward to it!
-Avi
[01.28.2019]
