Chapter 1 - Talk with Lorelai

Thinking about Logan she smiled carefully and a bit forcefully, then images of his sisters friends came to mind and she imagined him kissing them and then shut that door as well. Logan had been right, she had not forgiven him for his betrayal but could she? Maybe, she didn't know for sure, what she did know was that she did not want to go back to him. Then what did she want, she picked up her cell phone and speed-dialled her mothers cell.

"Hello" Her mothers voice could be heard.

"Jess and I kissed." Rory said through the phone and awaited her mothers response.

"Uh, ok. What does it mean?" her mother asked.

"It means that I went over to his publishing thing without Logan, without even telling Logan about it and after having a good time and everyone had left Jess and I talked and then he leaned in and we kissed." Rory said with slight panic and fear in her mind she took a breath and then continued "Then I pulled back and told him I was still with Logan and that I loved Logan." another pause "What was I thinking showing up there but after I got his invite something happened and I just had to come and I can't explain it why he always confuses me." she paused again before saying "I hurt him... and I hurt Logan too. And I don't understand why I am still so confused. I love Logan, despite all the bad I still love him. So did I kiss Jess back as revenge for him sleeping with all those girls? Did I go to him just to hurt Logan? I don't know because if I did then I shouldn't be feeling so confused, right?" Rory babbled on.

"Ok, honey calm down and just ask yourself this, if you didn't go to Jess to take revenge on Logan then why did you?" her mother asked her.

"I don't know, to be supportive. Last time he thanked me because I helped him get it together. Maybe I felt like I had to be there so he knew I'm proud of what he's done." Rory suggested.

"Could it be that you still have feelings for Jess?" Lorelai asked her.

"No" Rory answered "I love Logan."

"Like you loved Dean?" her mother asked then continued before Rory could retort to that "I know you care about Logan, and that he hurt you but honey you have to ask yourself why is it always Jess you're confused about when your focus should be with the person you say you love? You can't direct your focus with will and will yourself to love someone. You tried to do that with Dean. It has to come naturally. And if you're here thinking about Jess first and then Logan then you have to ask yourself. Who do you care more about? Now neither of them are my favourites, I never liked Jess but he did finally get through to you to get your life together again. You could say he woke you up, something Logan never did, and with Logan you are constantly up then down and you spend so much energy into wanting your relationship to be ok you have to ask yourself, is it really. Can you really forgive him for sleeping with all those girls when he thought you were broken up. You have to make this decision Rory. Not Logan, not Jess, you. And it can't be a pro con list kind of decision. Don't go to Jess just because you think he wouldn't cheat on you. As cliché this may sound you have to listen to your heart and be with whomever is in there." Lorelai finished.

Rory sighted "alright, thanks mom."

"It's what I'm here for." her mother pauses then added "And Rory..."

"Yes mom?" Rory replied.

"...be sure to tell mommy when you figure it out." Lorelai said.

Rory smiled. "Always" she told her.

"Ok...so do you know yet?" her mother asked.

"Bye mom" Rory said smiling.

"Bye hon." Her mother replied before Rory hung up.

Rory stared at the road for a few seconds before checking the mirror and went off the next exit turning her car around to go back to Philadelphia. She didn't know if it was Jess her heart wanted but she knew she had to see him, talk to him to find out.


end chapter 1