Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences

By: Aviantei

Chapter Sixteen, Gathering

Orihara Izaya: On the Prowl


"Hayashi-san, your most humble and loyal information broker has arrived."

"Orihara-kun, I would incredibly appreciate it if you spared me the utter drivel from your mouth."

Hayashi Maki's office was much like her personal appearance—simple including the bare essentials, but with a hint of deadliness. In regards to the room, she only had a pair of couches with a table in them for business talks, and carefully polished decorative weapons hung on the walls. The woman herself kept her hair cut short, dyed to a foreign looking auburn since we'd last talked, and her dark blue business suit looked crisp, from jacket to skirt. Manicured nails flashing, she waved me in towards the couch, peering at the doorway behind me.

"I see that you left the pain in the ass at home," Hayashi said, no doubt referring to Sosa. They had yet to speak after I'd told Sosa Hayashi's given name, so I was safe from that tirade, but Hayashi relented her composed expression for narrowing her eyes. "Where did you even find someone like that? She's a nuisance in the office."

"Lucky for you Hayashi-san, it just so happens to be Sosa-chan's day off." Considering that I had a fair share of meetings to run, it would've been nice to have the extra help, but an agreement was an agreement. I sat myself down on the guest couch, which was just comfortable enough to catch any weak-willed person off guard. From what I understood, Hayashi-san excelled at making people far too comfortable to think twice about her offers. "However, my work never ends, it seems. Don't tell me that you called me here because my last batch of work for you was unsatisfactory."

"No, it's nothing like that. Your info was spotless as always. We took care of the stragglers in no time." Hayashi smiled in a way void of anything most people would consider happiness. "We appreciate your assistance, so we're willing to give you some more work. That is what good business partners do for each other, isn't it?"

"Well, I certainly know better than to argue with a loyal customer." In terms of threat level, Hayashi wasn't too far up on the list of people who could potentially put my life in danger, but I'd provided her with info long enough to know that getting on her bad side wasn't worth the trouble. Crossing my legs, I folded my hands atop my knee. "What sort of work can I assist you with today?"

Sure enough, Hayashi produced a sheaf of papers and passed them to me. "I'd rather not waste my business hours, so I trust that you can figure out your homework on your own, Orihara-kun." I flipped through the packet, finding several client profiles there. Aida, Katsuki, Mukuro, Nasujima, Sugawara… "Most of these people aren't trouble yet, but I'd like to have some collateral to use if you don't mind. For the rest that are marked, you know the drill."

Based on a quick skim, it seemed like most of the work would just be basic information gathering, while there were some poor suckers who had gotten to their payment dates and thought it would be wise to run away. Funnily enough, running away from Hayashi-san was both the best and worst thing to do in that situation. I folded up the papers, tucking them away in my jacket. "I'll be sure to take care of it. Was there anything else you needed, Hayashi-san?"

"Down payment is in the usual place. I expect a speedy delivery time." Hayashi waved her hand at me, shooing me out of the meeting room. "I have another appointment in five minutes, Orihara-kun. Make yourself scarce. Oh, and one more thing." Already halfway out of the room, I paused, looking back to my client. "Stop with that fake pleasant attitude every time you come in here. I hate to say it, Orihara-kun, but you're not fooling anyone."

Despite her words, my smile grew wider. "I could say the same to you, Hayashi-san."

Without waiting for a response, I excused myself from the building, nodding to the poor soul that was Hayashi's next client as I passed by.


As much as I liked working with wired money, it had its risks, and some clients just preferred working in plain cash. Hayashi-san just happened to be one of those clients, which meant she'd dropped off her advance payment for my services in one of my deposit boxes throughout Tokyo. Picking those up was another task I'd been delegating to Sosa, but her off status prevented that for the day. Since I didn't fancy walking around with that much money when I still had errands to do, I added the task to Sosa's schedule for the next day on my phone and got back to work.

Hayashi had put her office rather close to the train station, so I hopped on the next line and set my course. The ride lasted a few minutes, and I disembarked, keeping tabs on the humans around me all the while. Every now and then, there would be a gem in the crowd, from hushed arguments between couples to looks of despair from college aged students. Sometimes, it was hard being punctual with so many interesting things around me, but I'd learned to control myself somewhat.

However, my next route on foot was one I had taken many times in the past, which meant I didn't have to focus too much on my path. After all, I'd once ridden that train and walked this path to get to classes not even a few years ago.

Raira University had gotten some renovations since I'd graduated a few years ago, but overall it looked the same in structure. Several different buildings made up the various offices and lecture halls, with plenty of space outdoors for students to mingle. The cherry blossoms hadn't yet disappeared all the way, and there were still flutters of pink here and there, making what had to be an optimistic start to the school year for many.

Whether that applied to my next appointment or not was a different matter altogether.

"You're looking well, Senpai."

"And you're looking all dressed up for the part." In contrast to Hayashi's deadly type of beauty, Fujimoto Momō's appearance equated to little more than an unassuming but somewhat well put together college student. She kept her brunette hair long and tucked back into a tight twist, and a yellow cardigan rested over her white blouse. She even had a pair of semi-frameless glasses on, though I didn't remember her ever needing them back in high school. Sitting down on the other side of the picnic table she'd been studying at, I mimicked the gesture of tapping at a set of frames. "Trying to make it so that you don't seem as scary to the other kids now?"

Considering that not being able to make close friends had been one of Momō's sore spots in high school, I expected her to break composure, but she just passed me back a pristine smile. "Oh, is that how you talk to my father, Senpai? I'm impressed." She closed up the textbook she was reviewing and folded her hands together. Even with the pleasant look on her face, Momō did a good job of keeping a hard glint in her eyes. "Do remember that I am going to be the next head of the family. Senpai or not, I'd hope you at least show some form of manners."

It had been easy to brush those sorts of comments off when she was a scrawny kid a few years below me in school, but given the recent changes, it seemed that she was getting fairly serious. "Well, don't count on me calling you Fujimoto-sama anytime soon. Or would you prefer I used that nickname you picked up? Yakuza Empress, hm?"

"I'm honored that's reached your ears. Once our resident information broker hears of something, that means it has some merit, doesn't it?" I'd expected her to get worked up over not talking about such things so carelessly in public, but she smiled at me, as if anticipating it. I wouldn't put Fujimoto Momō on the same challenge level as Sosa by any means, but she'd learned some extra tricks in the past few years since I'd graduated. I wasn't wrong when I thought she was a troublesome kouhai. "Still, I didn't bring you here to talk rumors."

"I was wondering. You bothered to make me come all the way to your school instead of a traditional meeting at your home—and without your father at that. Don't tell me you're keeping secrets from the rest of your family now?"

Momō sighed, brushing away a stray flower petal as it fluttered towards her pile of school supplies. "I was under the impression that you put a little more thought into your guesswork, Senpai. You're not slacking off that much whenever you work for us, are you?" Since her airy tone suggested she wasn't being serious, I didn't bother to reply. "In any event, I know you're aware of the collaborative talks between us and the Awakusu-kai. I just want to make sure things are going smoothly."

None of the other Raira students in the courtyard were close enough to hear her words, but Momō's willingness to even talk in that much detail in public was still uncharacteristic. Troublesome or not, it seemed like she'd provide some fun soon, if nothing else. "Don't tell me you're asking me to cheat on Shiki-san, now." I held a hand to my chest in mock conflict. "Your family may have been one of my earliest customers, but Shiki-san takes priority over even that, you know."

"I'm well aware about that, Senpai," Momō said, not missing a beat. Still looking like nothing more than a university student catching up with a former upperclassman, she tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear. "I don't want you to sell out the Awakusu. I want them to be our allies. But what I would like is some extra services. I simply want to gauge how their perspective of us and make sure it stays favorable. That's all."

"A smart but boring request." Even Sosa could handle something like that, assuming she stayed serious for long enough. Then again, it wasn't like she was only good for running errands. Regardless, I started calculating the appropriate price in my mind. "Still, Kōgō-chan, you know my services don't come cheap. Are you planning on paying for that all by yourself?"

Momō cocked her head. "You say that like I'm going behind my family's back to hire you."

"Aren't you?"

"Why would I even bother to do that? Father put me in charge of making this merger successful."

Definitely troublesome. While the Fujimoto-kai hadn't even batted an eye when their heir turned out to be a girl, Momō was still much younger than other comparable yakuza children who were next in line to succeed their parents. She'd picked up autonomy incredibly fast.

Of course, that just means that whatever she's planning might just be interesting…

"Should I say congratulations then? I'm almost impressed at how you've been able to keep things under wraps from me." It was only halfway true, but I couldn't deny that—unless I exerted some effort—picking up intel on the exact internal workings of the Fujimoto-kai wasn't a simple task. That just meant I needed to fix the holes in my own approach. "Still, you know well enough that I don't have much reason to turn down work. I'll bill you the costs, then I'll get to it."

"I appreciate it," Momō said, followed by a long pause. "You know, Senpai, it's disconcerting how you act like a semi-decent person whenever you're doing work."

I scoffed. "You know, you're the second person to say that today." Momō's smile widened as she managed to suppress a giggle. "Of course, I'd say it's disconcerting how you act like you have it all together these days. Whatever happened to that kouhai who always got worked up over the littlest things?"

Momō shrugged, her smile becoming more pleased than superior. "I finally decided to stop being ashamed of who I was. Being the next head of the Fujimoto-kai, being the Yakuza Empress… That's all me, and I'm tired of hiding it." She pulled up the sleeve of her cardigan to check her watch. "Well, I have class coming up, Senpai. Thanks for coming to meet me here. I'll be back in contact for the information."

"You can expect it in three days."

Without so much as a farewell, Momō stood and headed towards one of the nearby lecture halls, her skirt fluttering behind her. Since my business was done, there wasn't much need for me to stay, either. Pulling out my phone to doublecheck my agenda and add the newest tasks to my list, I worked on clearing away other notifications en route to the train station. Sosa had messaged me a selfie of her picking up lunch, which happened to be more sugar than anything substantial—complete with a line of text reminding me to eat in the middle of work. It seemed that every day we were around each other, she had some new strange fixation to add to the pile.

Well, it's not like I have anywhere to be for a couple of hours. I wasn't about to go out of my way to join Sosa for lunch, but I'd come close enough to Russia Sushi that it would be a shame to pass up the opportunity. Just as I was about to lock my phone and return it to my pocket, the chatroom notification flashed on my screen—several times in quick succession.

Saika has joined the room

Saika: strong
Saika: human
Saika: wish
Saika: love
Saika: wish love human
Saika: Is wish I do strong person so human love is. Wish is is I do so so so
Saika: I
Saika: I, so, wish
Saika: …
Saika: strong human wish
Saika: wish
Saika: I, love
Saika: so

Saika has left the room

Now then, what did we have here?

Saika has joined the room

Saika: stronger
Saika: strong love wish
Saika: wish is want
Saika: more strong love want
Saika: want to love strong person
Saika: want I mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom
Saika: mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom

Saika has left the room
Kanra has joined the room
Kakkoii_chan has joined the room
Setton has joined the room
Tanaka Taro has joined the room
Tanuki Usagi has joined the room

Kanra: Was that a troll just now?
Kakkoii_chan: The only troll I see here is you
Setton: More like an alien
Tanaka Taro: Maybe they were laughing…
Setton: Sounded pretty scary…
Tanaka Taro: Then! What's with the "haha"
Setton: No I mean aliens are scary
Setton: Not the other guy
Tanuki Usagi: The invasion is coming down upon us!
Tanuki Usagi: We will soon succumb to our new alien overlords!
Setton: Don't say things like that!

Setton has left the room

Kakkoii_chan: I think you scared them off, Usagi-chan
Tanuki Usagi: My bad
Tanaka Taro: Still, that was a weird troll
Kanra: The logs say they were in here earlier
Kanra: But I'll work on that sometime soon
Kanra: I'm about to meet up with someone so it'll have to be later
Tanaka Taro: Take your time
Kakkoii_chan: No, no, no, Taro-chan!
Kakkoii_chan: You can't give Kanra any leeway like that!
Kakkoii_chan: You're supposed to be like
Kakkoii_chan: "Oh, look, you're doing something useful for once!"
Kakkoii_chan: And, and
Tanuki Usagi: I'm surprised you have anyone willing to meet up with you, Kanra-san!
Kakkoii_chan: Yes, exactly!
Kakkoii_chan: That's my Usagi-chan!
Kanra: Stop trying to teach other people your bad habits, Kakkoii-chan
Kanra: Anyways, I do actually have work to do~

[Private Mode] Kanra: Unlike some people who have a day off
[Private Mode] Kakkoii_chan: You're the one who gave me this schedule, Izaya-kun

Kanra: So I'll be off!
Kanra: Bye-bye bi~!
Tanaka Taro: Taro-chan?

Kanra has left the room

Thanks to my schedule for the day, it was some time before I did make my way home for the night. Most people with such schedules would end up exhausted, but I was still feeling rather good. I'd had a nice chat with Saki-chan before taking the train back to Shinjuku. I had almost forgotten what it was like to go around that much on my own. Sosa, for all her faults, was speeding up business.

With dinner and coffee in hand, I sat down at my desk. Night had already fallen, leaving the lights of buildings to fight away the darkness outside my windows. It would be some time before those lights went off, and I suspected that—given my fresh workload and personal projects—I had something like an all-nighter on my hands. No matter how impressive phones were, some things I needed to take care of on my desktop.

Not that I was complaining. Not in the slightest. Because of the job I had and the people around me, I was able to experience so many different things, see so many different stories unfolding within the cacophony of the city. Knowing all that made it easy to give my all to my work—

—because I loved humans so very much.


[Author's Notes]

Uuuuugh, I will not lie, folks. This chapter was an utter pain in the ass to write. For some reason, all the next plot threads I wanted to handle were things best handled in Sosa's POV, but we have a narration rotation to stick to. So Izaya gets to go around and interact with some other OCs out and about. To be fair, I did reference both Hayashi and Momō earlier on. I have plans for this, I promise; they just come out in true Durarara! fashion (I hope).

My most heartfelt thanks go out to LuceRunsAway, Bluegirl-334, uchiha cat, JuggernautJJ, and PhatLad for their favorites and follows on this fic, and the now regular shout out to SpicySnowflake for sharing their thoughts via PM! You all are really too kind to me! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter (and any other one), so come at me!

In keeping up with canon stuff, this technically lines up with episode five with the Saika chats and Izaya's visit to Saki in the mix. Goodness, six whole episodes in. It's like we're making progress with the plot or something...

Next time we have some more digging into the plot with Sosa having a work day! Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[04.29.2019]