Chapter 2 Confessions
She sat in her car her earlier courage to get answers now gone as she was again parked in front of the publishing company Jess worked for. Taking deep breaths she was trying to regain the courage to get out of the car and not start and drive off away from this conversation she had to have with a guy that she once loved, and maybe still have feelings for.
She saw the door open and Jess step out and knew it was now or never, she opened her car door and stepped out of the car. he noticed her and froze "hi" she said to him.
"Hi" his voice said back and he looked a bit surprised to see her there but his face soon took his usual unreadable face but as she walked closer to him she could see his eyes better and knew he was confused about her being here.
"Didn't you leave?" he asked her.
"Yes, but..." she stopped talking not knowing quite how to tell him she had to talk to him to figure out if she still had feelings for him, if she still loved him.
"But...?" Jess prompted.
"But I wanted to come back." the words were out of her mouth before she knew it and a memory of the moments before their first kiss began to resurface in her mind.
"Why?" Jess asked her not understanding, not daring to understand, not daring to hope.
"You... I came back because I wanted to talk to you...about what happened...between us." Rory took a breath "Can we go inside? Or to your place?" she asked him.
Jess still a bit shocked from her being here telling him they needed to talk about them nodded "sure, let's go to my place." he told her and pointed her to the direction.
"Ok, should I take my car or are we taking yours?" Rory asked.
"It's nearby, we can walk." Jess told her.
"Ok..." she said and turned around to lock her car before standing next to him "Let's go" she said.
The walk to his apartment was done in uncomfortable silence but when they reached his door and Jess opened it saying "It's a bit of a mess."
Rory stepped in and looked around taking in the place and recognizing typical Jess things as she did. She smiled at that and thought to herself that Logan's place somehow didn't suit him like Jess place suited him. Realizing Jess was looking at her she said "it's nice. It's so...you." she said before sitting herself down at the couch smiling at him.
"Thanks" Jess said as he took off his jacket and threw it over a nearby chair. "Do you want something? a drink, food?" he asked her still uncomfortable with Rory being near him to talk so soon after their kiss. He could still feel her warm strawberry taste of her lips in his memory of it.
"No thanks" she paused before saying "so I guess we should talk."
"It is why you came back to Philly for." Jess told her.
She looked at him trying to read him but his face didn't tell her anything and his eyes still showed confusion "right" she said.
"So I guess I should start...first I should apologize again for the way I acted before. Kissing you then throwing in your face I'm in love with someone else. You deserved better." Rory started as she stood up.
"We covered that." Jess said a little bit impatient, not wanting to be remembered of her saying she was in love with that jerk.
"Yes, we did. I just wanted you to know again that I'm really sorry-" Jess interrupted her "Rory" he said wanting to get to the point as to why she was here.
"Right so the reason I'm here is because I don't know if I still love Logan. And I know this is again not fair for you because I maybe giving you false hope but I don't know what exactly my feelings for you are. Our kiss. It was a good kiss. I liked it and I know I shouldn't because I'm still with Logan but I know I didn't kiss you back to get even with Logan. I kissed you back because I wanted to. Because I still have feeling for you. And they overwhelmed me earlier and that scared me because I'm supposed to be with Logan. I was in love with Logan. So that's what I told you but Logan cheated on me without telling me himself we were broken up. He thought we were broken up after one fight and I found out from his sister that we weren't together anymore. And then he slept with all his sisters bridesmaids friends. Then we got back together and he didn't tell me about it. Like it didn't matter, I found out from the said bridesmaids and was supposed to be ok with it just because we were supposedly broken up. And then he comes to me, tells me we were broken up and that the girls didn't matter to him. Like that's supposed to fix it. I can't believe I was stupid and weak enough to just let him do that to me. Like hoping it would be ok and that I would love him again like before in time but first I was avoiding him and then I took assignments away from him wanting him to hurt like he hurt me. But when I was driving away from here tonight and talking to my mother I realized that I may still care for him but I don't think those feelings are strong enough to make our relationship work. So I have to know now if I still want that relationship to work or if I want another to work because as much as I have tried I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since I got your invitation." Rory babbled.
Jess had listened to her babbling, even when she was talking about the guy he envied and despised but now that she had stopped he didn't know what to say to her. He loved the young woman in front of him, he had since the moment he had laid eyes on her. But the last time he told her that she didn't say them back and he had left her, again. Realizing Rory was awaiting a reply from him he looked into her eyes "What do you want me to say? I kissed you tonight, I made a move. Not because I wanted a one night stand with you but because I still have feelings for you." Not the complete truth but he wasn't about to lay out his heart only to have her running back to Logan again.
"Even so, how is this going to work, I mean you Philadelphia me New Haven, it's 185.4 miles." Rory told him.
"Rory, nothing is certain. I don't know how us would go if we gave it a try, but I do want to try. The question is do you? Or do you still want him?" Jess asked.
"Jess." she walked to him and took his hands in hers "It was you who woke me up and made me realize I had to get my life in order. I didn't even listen to my mother, my best friend. My supposed boyfriend was fine with it and let me live a life I was unhappy with. You made me see what I was doing with my life. It was you who I kissed tonight even though I am with someone else. Jess it has always been you. Even when I was with Dean and Logan my heart still wanted you, I've ignored it, buried it deep. But it has always been you. I love you Jess Mariano. I always have and as scary as it is I think I always will." Rory finished.
Jess pulled her against him and let go of her hands to put an arm around her as his other went up and with his hand he brushed her cheek before bringing her lips to his and kissing her softly but hungrily.
The kiss grew more passionate and Rory had one hand at the back of his neck pulling him closer as the other went through his hair needing to it like she needed him closer to her. Until they had to break away for air, they smiled at each other "I love you too by the way." he told her.
"You better" she breathed against him. Then remembered something. "I have to tell him before we go further." she told him, "and I promised my mom I'd call her when I-" she was cut off from another kiss from Jess and the thoughts flew forgotten out her head as she pulled him closer, needing more of him.
When they broke apart again she said "And we have to figure out what we're going to do about the three and a half hour drive" he kissed her again and when they broke apart again he said "We'll figure it out. We're going to make it work this time Ror."
Rory smiled against his lips and forgot the world around her as they stumbled to the bed kissing and laughing/giggling on the way.
They fell unto the bed and continued kissing until Jess suddenly stopped saying "we better stop before I can't stop myself and we do what you can't do until you've talked to your soon to be ex"
Rory smiled and gave him a quick kiss on his lips before saying "I suppose your right. But we can still sleep and snuggle" she grinned at him. "that is if you don't mind me staying over tonight?"
Jess smirked playfully and said "I don't know, I may need some persuasion" Rory grinned and said "Maybe I should just go home then" she rose herself off him but before she got anywhere Jess pulled her down on the bed and was on top of her kissing her.
Jess was sleeping and Rory quietly sneaked out from under his arm and grabbed her cell phone before heading towards the bathroom.
The phone rang at the Gilmore residence and Lorelai grumbled as she grabbed it and answered saying "Whoever this is I hate you and when I have my coffee I will hunt you down and kill you."
"Hi mom, did I wake you from a good dream this time?" Rory asked.
"Rory, you know better then to call your poor mother at 1:30 am." Lorelai replied.
"Well yes but you did tell me to call you when I figured out my love life." Rory replied.
More awake now Lorelai said "Don't keep your poor mother waiting, tell me."
"Well after our talk I decided to go back to Philadelphia to talk to Jess about what happened." Rory paused.
"So you did you chose Jess? Come on don't torture me with this stalling." Lorelai told her.
"Who did you think I would chose?" Rory asked then curious.
"Rory, sweetie you know I love you but if you don't tell mommy soon mommy will go to Philadelphia and make Jess tell who you chose." Lorelai told her.
"Well then I should probably warn you and tell you that your only daughter is there as well.." Rory told her mother "My heart chose Jess." she added.
"Thank God, because if you had gone back to Logan after what that punk did then I don't know what I would do. I may not like Jess but looking at his recent actions and comparing them with Logan's I have to say Jess is the better choice." her mother told her.
"And if I had chosen Logan?" Rory asked.
"Then mommy would have had to have you committed to an asylum for the insane." Lorelai told her.
"Glad I made the right choice then." Rory said.
"You and me both...So are you sleeping with Jess already then?" Lorelai told her.
"Only in the literal sense. I don't want to do it until I have at least told Logan in person. And then we'll see." Rory replied.
"Well he's not married and not a cheater, as far as I know. So it is an improvements in boyfriends. I'm so proud." Lorelai told her daughter.
"That almost sounded like a compliment for Jess." Rory told her.
"mmm well I better get my mind back to sleep so it won't happened again." Lorelai told her.
"Well you've got your chance, Jess is up, I have to go, bye mom." Rory told her.
"Bye" Lorelai told her before Rory hung up and smiled at Jess.
Jess smiled at her when he realized she had told her mother about them. Their relationship felt more real to him when he heard that. Rory walked to him and kissed him briefly on hislips before asking "Did I wake you?"
"Only by not being in bed next to me" she said smiling at her and she grinned and kissed him again.
end chapter 2
