Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences

By: Aviantei

Chapter Eighteen, Wayward Encounters

Orihara Izaya: Taking the Backseat


I didn't think I had seen Susanuma Aiako look so terrified before, and that was saying something since I tended to remind her of her night terrors. As you may have guessed, she was Sosa's requested extra guest to Shinra's place.

Having been acquainted with Shinra since middle school (and, unfortunately, having required his doctoring services before), I was no stranger to Shinra's residence. Sosa, on the other hand, had no such experience, and she was having a grand old time running around the entire apartment, from the kitchen to the living room and even the balcony—leaving her dear protégé to fend for herself. Shinra didn't mind in the slightest, letting Sosa do as she pleased while our host worked on preparing tea. That left myself and Aiako-chan seated in the living room, though we'd taken up different couches.

"Sorry, it's been a while since we've had actual company over," Shinra said, bringing the tea tray over after a couple of minutes. "Usually when we have guests, it's because of work-related things, but feel free to make yourselves at home. Tekichu-san, the tea's ready if you want to come sit down!"

"Sosa," Aiako and I said in tandem, and the girl buried her face in her hands, trying to look away from me. Considering she hadn't even had time to change out of her school uniform before Sosa swiped her up, Aiako looked all the smaller. Shinra didn't even bother to comment on her behavior as he placed a teacup in front of her.

Hearing heard the summons, Sosa emerged from the hall that held the bedrooms. She hopped over the back of the couch to sit next to Aiako, then proceeded to add most of the sugar bowl to her tea without hesitation. "Izaya-kun and Aiako-chan are right, Shinra-chan. I'd appreciate it loads if you don't waste your time with formalities, kay?"

Shinra scratched at the back of his head, having taken up the seat on the other end of the couch from me. "Well, I guess that would be alright," he said. "I mean, we just met each other, so I don't want you to think I'm being rude or anything…"

"Just get over it and call her Sosa," I said, sipping at my own non-doctored tea, "your life will be much better for it, Shinra. Trust me."

"Yup, yup, Izaya-kun's got it!" Sosa beamed and went to sucking down her drink of her mostly sugar and tea abomination, sighing like a weary office worker enjoying the first drink of beer on a Friday. I didn't even want to consider what Sosa would be like with alcohol in her. "Manners are bullshit anyway, Shinra-chan. Just go for it!"

Shinra held his hand to his chin, looking lost in thought. I could just hear him worrying over some nonsense like I don't want Celty to think I'm getting too familiar with another woman I just met, though. "Oh, I got it! How about Sosa-kun? That work for you?"

Sosa nodded, setting down her already empty teacup on its plate with enough force to make the whole assemble rattle. "It's been a while since anyone's called me '-kun,' so it's kinda refreshing. I'll take it!" And then she proceeded to laugh with all the aplomb of a 90's anime villain. Shinra nodded, looking satisfied with himself for averting a nonexistent crisis.

I may have made a mistake in letting these two anywhere near each other.

"Um… It's not that I'm against you inviting me, Sosa-san, but why am I here again?" Aiako asked, her tiny voice not sounding much louder than a squeak. Helping herself to second serving of tea, Sosa glanced over to her protégé, and Shinra's attention immediately focused on his other last-minute houseguest. Squirming under the sudden attention (and my own gaze certainly couldn't have been helping), Aiako flushed a deep red. "I mean…this doesn't seem like work, so…"

"Huh, you're still worried about that?" Sosa said as she completely emptied out Shinra's sugar bowl. "Listen, if I'm on payroll for the day, you can be on payroll, too, Aiako-chan. And besides, networking is part of an info broker's work, right? This so counts!"

Sosa looked to me for confirmation, and I gave her the nod she was seeking. "You're not wrong, though your logic needs a little work." Sosa shrugged it off and gave Aiako a reassuring smile. Considering that I had my own fair share of plans unfolding behind the screens, I was more than content to see where Sosa's intentions ended up. "I don't often do work directly with Shinra, but it's never a bad idea to have a doctor like him on your side—even if he is a bit of a weirdo."

"You're one to talk, Orihara-kun!" Shinra sat up as straight as he could, the light reflecting off his glasses. "Besides, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have had any friends in middle school, you know."

"Did you ever consider that was maybe by choice?"

Sosa slammed her hands into the table, sending the whole tea set rattling. "Yes, that's just it," she shouted with no concern for volume—as per usual. "That's what I wanted to hear! Shinra-chan, I humbly request that you tell me all the embarrassing stories you have about Izaya." Beside her, Aiako had scooted forward in her seat, adding a "Please, Sensei," to the request. It seemed she was growing a backbone through Sosa's unrelenting "immersion therapy."

"Hm, I guess I can do that," Shinra said without hesitation.

I clicked my tongue. "Hey, now."

As he did with most things in life, Shinra didn't back down at the warning. "I mean, I don't know if there are really any super embarrassing stories about Orihara-kun, but I can do my best. Let's see, which one's best to start with? Ah, I've got it! There was this one time he got stabbed…"

Knowing interrupting wouldn't do much good, I went back to sipping at my tea, thinking of all the boring work I could shove on Sosa the next day.


Kanra: Oh, but what's this you were saying about a missing person?
Kakkoii_chan: hit us with your best shot!
Tanaka Taro: The girl who went missing was a classmate of mine
Tanaka Taro: Well, the friend of a friend to be exact…
Tanaka Taro: To be honest, I've never actually met her at all
Tanuki Usagi: Same here
Tanuki Usagi: I heard that a senpai went missing, too
Setton: What? You're saying you had a friend go missing?
Kanra: It seems
Kanra: A lot of people have been disappearing lately
Kanra: Rumors about these cases are everywhere right now~
Setton: You sure like rumors Kanra-san
Kakkoii_chan: And spreading rumors
Kanra: Ahahahahaha
Kanra: Don't act like you're any different
Kanra: All the rumors I've heard are about illegal foreigners
Kanra: Or maybe a runaway new to the big city
Kanra: Basically, they're nobody that can people can trace when they disappear
Kanra: For some reason, most of these incidents occur between Ikebukuro and Shibuya
Kanra: And once they're gone, that's it!
Kanra: They're gone for good
Setton: You serious?
Kanra: Oh, but there's another rumor that's even scarier!
Kanra: Get this: They say the reason that they're never found is that they get taken by the Dollars. When they're done with them, they eat them!
Tanaka Taro: What?
Setton: You don't think that's true, do you?
Tanuki Usagi: I really don't think
Tanuki Usagi: the Dollars would go and do something like that
Kanra: You're sure acting rather certain!
Kanra: There's all sorts of scary things going on in Tokyo, you know
Kakkoii_chan: Cannibalism aside, why would you want to bother going through the trouble of preparing to eat another person?
Kakkoii_chan: Too much work
Tanaka Taro: Maybe we should talk about something else
Tanaka Taro: Sorry I brought it up, I just wasn't sure what the best way to handle something like this is. People didn't really go missing where I moved from
Kakkoii_chan: No, no Taro-chan, it's Kanra's fault for bringing up stuff like that
Kakkoii_chan: Though even if it isn't the Dollars
Kakkoii_chan: Maybe something wild would happen.
Kakkoii_chan: Cannibalism isn't the only option. Don't forget the classic of ritual sacrifice!
Setton: Kakkoii-san, I think you and Kanra-san have much more in common than you think…

"How rude!" Sosa said, pouting as she stared down her phone, as if it would provide her with a worthwhile retort. "I think my online persona is much more charming than Izaya's Kanra. Don't you agree, Aiako-chan?"

Standing beside Sosa on the train, Aiako glanced between her own phone and her self-declared mentor, as if trying to figure out the appropriate answer. Too bad Sosa's brain ran in too many directions at once, making it impossible to reach the solution by any means of logic. "Well, I think that the way you chat is a bit less disorienting when you compare it to the real thing." Since Sosa's face broke out into a grin, that seemed to be the closest thing to a correct response.

"Right, right? No one reading that text would figure out who it really is unless you're in the know. Though I guess that's the point." It was indeed. Taking a moment to recognize that I was too busy typing to participate in their little powwow, Sosa glanced back to her phone. "Hey now."

Kanra: Though do you maybe think the person who went missing for both of you was the same one?
Kanra: I mean, sure, a lot of people have been going missing lately, but it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. Tokyo's full of coincidences, isn't it?
Tanaka Taro: Huh? I guess, maybe
Setton: You could be right, but still
Kakkoii_chan: Red card, red card!
Kakkoii_chan: Kanra, are you fishing for someone's IRL info? That's just bad manners!
Kanra: Whoops, busted~!

As if I didn't know who everyone was already. Even Sosa already knew that the person in question was the same Harima Mika that she'd asked me about earlier—and that Ryuugamine Mikado and our own Susanuma Aiako were well aware of the fact. All things considered, Celty was the only one actually out of the loop.

Aiako glanced back to Sosa. "Is Orihara-san always saying things that he already knows the answers to in the chatroom?"

Not once looking away from her screen, Sosa bounced her head in a nod. "Always."


"Sosa!"

"Linda!"

"High five!" the two cheered in English as they completed what would be something closer to a "high ten" if you were being picky. Standing outside of Russia Sushi, I watched the ritual, taking a moment to recognize the same dark-haired girl from the day of meeting Mikado. Despite being a regular to the shop, I hadn't the faintest idea she'd worked there. It left me to wonder if Sosa would get upset if I took another shot at hijacking one of her so-called toys.

"Oh, you brought Aiako along, too," Linda said, once she noticed the small girl nearby. Aiako-chan dipped her head in a greeting, and Linda's red eyes flicked towards me. "And your creepy boss, too," she added in English, as Sosa snickered (Aiako was mouthing the words, as if trying to translate them). Though there was no one around to reprimand the supposed part-time employee, Linda quickly shifted gears back to Japanese and threw on an affected Russian accent. "Well, no matter! It half-price sushi day. Time to come in and eat. Be full!" Waving flyers about, she started to push Aiako towards the restaurant's entrance, and Sosa followed. I became the last in line, since I wasn't about to pass up the chance to eat some otoroo at a good price.

While Russia Sushi certainly had its fair share of dedicated fans, it tended to not always have the best luck at attracting new customers thanks to Simon's imposing presence, but the seats were a bit more crowded than usual for dinner time—even on half-price day. Tossing the less intimidating Linda into street side advertising duty was working out well.

"Simon, we have three guests! Make way!" Linda called, cupping her hand around her mouth as she marched us in. Aiako was trying to say something like "Linda-senpai," but it wasn't working out. Within seconds, Simon had noticed us approaching and he joined in on Linda's shouts of welcome and advertising events. Linda had shoved a menu into Aiako's hands, steering her towards the counter. Sosa hung back enough for me to catch up, and she beamed that far too innocent smile of hers.

"So since we're coming her after work, it's the boss's treat, yeah?"

She interpreted my silence as a yes, and then went off to tell Aiako the good news.


As much as I would've liked to sit down and savor my sushi for a while, all the booths were already full, which meant the only option was sitting in the common area, and Simon and Dennis had long banned Shizu-chan and I from occupying the space at the same time, and I didn't want to spoil a good meal with Shizuo happening to walk into the restaurant by coincidence. So with our respective take-out boxes In hand, our trio set back out to the Ikebukuro streets, where the sky had turned to night.

"Is it really okay for me to have this much…?" Aiako asked almost to herself, staring down at the box hanging from its haphazardly tied string (Linda had insisted on taking care of the presentation of her kouhai's dinner). Despite Aiako's near whisper, both Sosa and I caught onto it easily, with Sosa draping an arm over Aiako's tiny shoulders.

"You worry too much, my dear Aiako-chan." Aiako almost lost her balance as Sosa's weight pressed down on her. Almost dragging her protégé along, Sosa waved a finger through the air. "The best part is getting to eat on Izaya's bill, yeah? I mean, it's one of the best per—hey, hey, hey, what's that over there?"

Before anyone could register the change in Sosa's topic and attention span, she had raced off ahead of us. Presumably not wanting to be stuck with me, Aiako sprinted after, and I once more took up the rear position. Soon enough, it was plenty obvious what had caught Sosa's attention. Sprawled out on the ground atop some trash was a short man dressed in a pink hoodie and short cropped sandy blonde hair. Upon closer inspection, he was one of the human traffickers I regularly passed info to—Korozawa was it?—and he was knocked out cold, with the faint smell of chloroform still clinging to his clothes.

"You think he's dead?" Sosa asked, with all the curiosity of a kid poking at a dead bird on the sidewalk.

Crouching close to her mentor and looking over the guy, Aiako shook her head. "No, it looks like he's still breathing," she said, managing to keep her voice steady. "What do you think happened here?" Aiako looked to Sosa, and Sosa then looked to me. Just as I was about to shrug, a phone started to ring, and it wasn't any of ours.

It was the one in the pocket of our trafficker buddy.

"Dibs!" Sosa shouted, snatching the phone up. As she held it up in a victory stance, I was able to slip it from her fingers. She opened her mouth in what I guessed would be a protest mixed in with several curse words, but I'd already accepted the call and answered:

"Sushi rabu~. Especially otoroo!" Sosa pouted but she leaned in curiously, Aiako still clinging to her side. I put a finger to my lips to remind them to stay quiet before fitting the speakerphone button.

"What the hell? Who's this?" asked a voice that I recognized all too well.

"Oh, it's you Dotachin!"

Sosa's eyes lit up in interest as she leaned towards the receiver. "Hey, Dotachin! Long time, no see!" I don't know why I thought she would even bother to follow directions. Pushing her off so I would have some personal space, I barreled forward before Dotachin could have enough time to process what was going on.

"I was just walking, so when I came across this guy sleeping and his phone rang, I answered."

Dotachin made a strangled sound that failed to be a proper question. From the sounds of it, the rest of his gang was there, too, and they were into something interesting. Their fearless leader finally caught enough composure to ask, "Hey, where are you right now?"

"Hm?" I stood up from my crouch, wanting to pace around the area, but Sosa's insistent stare kept me rooted in place. A quick glance was all it took to find the nearby ramen shop as a landmark. "I'm out in front of Taishoken in south Ikebukuro." Befuddled, Dotachin could only ask why, and just as I was reminding him about Russia Sushi's special, I felt that annoyingly familiar murderous intent creeping up on me.

Sosa must've felt it, too, because it didn't even take her a second to snatch up Aiako and move her out of the way as I stepped in the opposite direction. Without any concern for rationality, a kiddie slide shaped like an elephant crashed into the concrete, courtesy of none other than Ikebukuro's strongest protozoan.

The usual shouted reminder to stay out of Ikebukuro followed, and Shizuo bolted after me from down the road within seconds. I gave a short farewell to Dotachin, then hung up the phone and tossed it back towards our unconscious friend before bolting myself. Dodging Shizu-chan all the way, I kept my grip on my sushi, refusing to let go of my well-earned dinner.

By the time I shook Shizu-chan off and settled down on a nearby stone sign next to a tree, it was beyond obvious that Sosa and Aiako hadn't bothered to follow me. More importantly, my sushi hadn't fallen apart in the commotion, and I deemed it a well-deserved dinner time.

"Mm, otoroo really is the best~!"

On a night where someone else's adventure was already in full swing, Celty zipped past, her black bike darker than the cloud-covered sky above.


[Author's Notes]

In which we encounter episode six. My plan to take care of this episode in only one part went off the rails. I don't know what I expected from Sosa, honestly.

Thanks to intomiddle3arth and iWasDamned for the follows on this fic! Here's hoping you enjoy the new chapter!

I think one of my favorite interactions is dealing with Sosa and Shinra in the same room. RIP, Izaya. You'll never know a day of peace again.

Next time will have the continuation of episode six, including Sosa and Aiako! This update will come in December during my fanfic anniversary update, so please look forward to it!

-Avi

[11.25.2019]