Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences
By: Aviantei
Chapter Twenty-One, Cheatingx2
Tekichu Sosa: Unburied Relations
I had begun the day with every intention of making a new discovery (not necessarily a goal for every day, but that's not important), but it seemed the new discovery had decided to find me instead. While Aiako-chan and I had been chatting about our next appointment with Shinra-chan, two kids had arrived before us. I took my best guess that they were middle schoolers, but it wasn't like I could confirm such a fact when they were wearing a uniform that didn't match any of the local schools (it helped to be able to recognize such things on sight) and gym clothes, their presumed surname blazoned across said shirt's chest:
Orihara.
What's this, what's this, what's this?
"Did you hear me?" the one dressed in the sailor uniform said, her eyes narrowed into a glare behind her glasses. Despite her bookworm-ish appearance, what with her hair tied back into twin braids, her words had plenty of bit behind them. "I asked what you planned to do with intel on Iza-nii, so I expect an answer."
"Um," Aiako said, though it was obvious it was straining her to speak up first, "when you say Iza-nii, you wouldn't happen to mean…" She seemed to notice the kanji across the second girl's clothes (her hair was kept shorter, and her expression was much less affected, but she was a dead ringer for the bookish-looking one), and the color drained out of Aiako's face as she reached the same conclusion I did:
"Ugh, what a cheat! Izaya-kun didn't tell me he had younger siblings! He said some nonsense about his family being boring, and I fucking fell for it!" I held my head in my hands and shouted my frustration straight up towards the sky, not caring in the slightest about the murmurs breaking out around us. Well, I suppose students didn't often see adults losing it in public, so maybe it seemed interesting to them? Whatever, I had way bigger concerns to deal with. "Just look at you two, you're clearly not boring whatsoever. I'm Tekichu Sosa, and I work for your brother. This is Susanuma Aiako-chan, and she's my protégé. I was hoping to get embarrassing details on Izaya-kun so I could mess with him later. Care to help out?"
The bookish-looking of the sisters looked baffled for a moment. "You wanna…embarrass Iza-nii?" she asked, and I immediately nodded my affirmation.
"…Acceptable," the quieter twin said, which was even better of a reaction than I could have expected. What younger sibling wouldn't want to mess with their older sibling at least once or twice? I know that I certainly fell into that category myself, and growing up hadn't changed that approach of mine in the slightest, though the distance did make things a bit tricky. "Orihara Kururi."
"And I'm Orihara Mairu!" Oh, these were introductions, then; lucky me. I did have to note that the Orihara parentals sure had interesting taste in names, though. Ah, well—getting lucky enough for these siblings to spill the details on their cheater of an older brother was way more important than anything else right now, that was for sure. I didn't quite get the chance to ask, though, since Mairu adjusted her glasses and leaned forward to look at Aiako a bit closer. "Oh, Susanuma-chan, you're in the next class over, aren't you?"
Aiako, as predictable as ever when around strangers, yelped. "I-I am?"
"Are you for real?" Mairu asked. "Just 'cause we're not in the same class doesn't mean that we ever see each other."
"Electives period," Kururi added, which I guessed was an explanation for how they'd crossed paths before. I'd have to give Aiako a lecture later on about being more aware of her surroundings, even when she was at school (being my protégé was a full time job, after all), but that could wait until a better opportunity arose.
"Naturally, I noticed you. You're super adorable, you know, plus I love the look with the ballet slippers. Hey, hey, if you don't mind sharing with Yuuhei, wanna be my girlfriend?"
Aiako's answer was a resounding shriek, paired up with her face burning a bright red. I made an impressed sound; even if I didn't have much interest in dating myself, seeing Aiako-chan get all worked up was fascinating on it's own, and I let her stutter and stumble over her words without any sign of saving her whatsoever. "I-I-I don't know, I-I've never—I mean, I d-don't even know—oh, w-well, I guess I do know, b-but—"
"See? You're so precious!" And without any warning whatsoever, Mairu pulled an Erika and dragged Aiako into a hug, hands firmly secure around Aiako's waist. "Even if you don't wanna be my girlfriend, just being our friend is fine; I bet we'll have lots of fun together!"
"Sounds like a great idea," I said, one-hundred percent with ulterior motives. Well, it would be good for Aiako to have some friends, but I also wanted an easy in. "Oh, but if you want time with Aiako-chan while she's on the clock, I'm gonna have to ask for compensation. Like tell me embarrassing stories about that oh so rude older brother of yours who didn't even let me know that you two existed, why I never—"
Mairu pouted, hugging Aiako even closer to her. "Unfair! I'm gonna go kick Iza-nii's butt!"
"Rude," Kururi said, the single word the only sign of her displeasure. What a fun little dynamic they had going on. I couldn't help but wonder how they both handled themselves whenever they were apart, or maybe they just worked extra hard to always be together? Things I could learn on my own in time. Oh, and I can have Aiako-chan practice observing by having her share school life details, too! Man, I'm such a genius.
As I snickered to myself, Aiako was squirming, though he was having minimal success with pulling away from Mairu. Yup, I was definitely charging if they were going to enjoy my little protégé like that. I clapped my hands together. "So, how about we get into all of your brother's dirty laundry? I accept stories from all ages."
Unfortunately for me (and rather fortunately for Aiako-chan), Mairu and Kururi weren't free for the afternoon, as Mairu had martial arts lessons to attend. Kururi was going with her, as seemed to be their norm, but I did score their contact information and a promise to meet up later on to exchange intel, which I considered an excellent victory. And, so, our original plan of meeting up with Shinra was still on, and I lead the way after picking up some yatsuhashi for a supposed housewarming gift, though the reality was that that I'd just had a craving that I wanted to fulfill.
There was nothing wrong with utilizing tradition to fit your personal needs, as far as I was concerned.
Once we got to the apartment building, I made a beeline straight for the elevator, and Aiako came along with me. Though she had seemed exhausted in the immediate aftermath of the Orihara sisters, she'd recovered enough that she didn't seem too bothered by the impending visit with Shinra. Then again, that could've just been because she'd met him before, but I had to wonder if a guy like that really put her at ease.
Then again, I didn't tell her about all the super underground stuff that Shinra-chan does yet, so maybe that has to do with it.
"Come on, Aiako-chan, you've got a perfect smile for disarming people. You gotta take full advantage of it."
She looked up to me, her eyes questioning. "Is there much of a point if it's just you and me right now?"
"The things you do when no one else is looking are what matter most of all."
The human mind was robust, but also fragile. You could get far by putting on a mask in front of other people, but that would ultimately crumble if you didn't embody it, body and soul. And so, not acting on who you were trying to be or something similar would end up failing if you never worked to convince yourself it was true. And while I couldn't monitor Aiako 24/7/365, I could at least embody this sort of ideal in her.
You have so much potential, Aiako-chan. Don't let it go to waste, now.
She looked like she was in thought over what I'd just said, so I let her be while the elevator climbed up to the top floor in silence. Sometimes, I had to remember that things would stick with Aiako much better if she processed them on her own—though my impatience made it hard to wait. I was so not suited for playing the long game, even when I knew that the end result would be worth it if I played my cards right.
The elevator dinged, and we disembarked. Shinra had a pretty swanky space for his home, meaning his was the only home on the floor, so it wasn't difficult at all to locate his place. I pushed Aiako-chan towards the door, and she yelped before looking back to me with pleading eyes. "Come on, you seemed to get along with Shinra-chan plenty last time. You just gotta knock on the door and say hi. Besides, after this, we're just gonna be enjoying story time, so there's nothing to stress out about."
Or, well, there wouldn't be anything to stress out for me, so this might have been a bit too much for someone like her. A waited to see if she would try to tap out—but Aiako's expression turned serious a few moments later, and she gave a determined little nod that was just too cute. No wonder Mairu had been so gushing about her earlier; I could see the appeal for her level of preciousness.
Regardless of how cute she was being, Aiako still marched up to the door and rang the doorbell, which was a good experience gain for her. I walked up behind her, and it was just a little bit of time before the door started to swing in. "Yoohoo, Shinra-chan! We brought snacks!"
"Oh, Sosa-kun! And that's Susanuma-chan, too. I wasn't expecting you today," Shinra said, letting us in anyways. What a champ; I'd expected a way different reaction for showing up unannounced. Then again, he'd been friends with Izaya for years, so maybe this sort of stuff was par for the course for him? Or maybe it was a side effect of being an underground doctor? Either way, he had been home, which meant my plans for the afternoon were still a go. "No Izaya-kun with you two today?"
Aiako grimaced a bit at just the sound of his name while I hopped over the back of the nearest couch and onto the cushions without abandon. "Nope, just us! If Izaya-kun were here, he wouldn't let you tell us all the real embarrassing stories."
Shinra laughed. "You're not wrong there…"
"Sorry for the intrusion," Aiako said, dripping her head into a bow as she presented the yatsuhashi, like anyone with manners would have done. Shinra accepted the snacks and waved her in, placing the box on the table and wandering to the kitchen to maybe start some tea. "We didn't interrupt anything important, did we?"
"No, you're fine. I had a job this morning, but it wasn't anything too stressful." Curiosity flickered across Aiako's face for a few seconds, but it seemed that she'd thought twice about asking. I had snatched up the box and was mid tearing off the crinkling plastic. The anticipation had made me puckish. "But you wanted to hear more about Izaya-kun, huh? I guess I have a few other good stories."
"Like why he an' Shizu-chan hate each other's guts?" I asked, cutting straight to the point. Shinra seemed to be friends with them both, so he'd probably know best. And, well, if I gave him a topic to work with as a starter, it'd be loads easier to get him talking on his own afterwards.
"You sure do like to ask the hard questions, huh, Sosa-kun? You're way more direct than Izaya-kun is sometimes. It's a little bit refreshing." I could be sneaky if I wanted to, but this sort of thing didn't require snooping around. Shinra was straightforward enough that you didn't need to drag anything out of him, so why bother? "But I guess it's not that difficult. They're just those types of people who haven't gotten along since the moment they first met."
"Hate at first sight?" Aiako asked, and I snorted before popping a yatsuhashi in my mouth whole. When I offered the box to Aiako, she took one, though she ate it at a much slower pace.
Shinra also found the idea amusing, if the smile on his face was any indication. He also had a tea trey in his hands, including an extra bowl that was apparently just filled up with extra sugar for me. At this rate, I might start calling him -kun instead of -chan if he kept appealing to my tastes like this. "Maybe you could say that," he said, also gladly taking a yatsuhashi when Aiako offered him one. Ah, good plan from her, or I might have just eaten them all by myself. "Well, you know exactly how Izaya-kun is. I'd talked enough about Shizuo-kun that he'd decided to test just what he was about—you know, with his strength and all." I thought back to the trash can (and other various pieces of public city property) flying through the air and nodded, Aiako making the same gesture beside me. "And, well, Shizuo-kun has good instincts. He knew what was up right away, so he went on the offensive, and they've been at each other's throats ever since, especially after Izaya-kun got Shizuo-kun fired plenty of times."
I snatched another yatsuhashi to munch on while I thought it over, my arms crossed. "Hmmm…"
"Um, Sosa-san, you don't sound too happy…" Aiako said, scooting the box to the opposite end of the table. By this point, the tea was probably ready, but I didn't bother to set up my cup.
"It's just…ugh, I guess it's boring?" That was the best approximation I could come up with. Aiako was looking at me like she didn't get how I could reach such a conclusion, but Shinra just smiled as he poured us tea. "Of course Izaya-kun pisses people off. That's what he does!" Hell, I doubted there was a single person that I'd gone to high school with that didn't hate my guts, even if they didn't realize it was me they hated. "So, yeah, if he fucked up Shizu-chan's life, that's fair enough. Hell, it's perfectly natural, but—"
But—
"It doesn't explain why Izaya-kun hates Shizuo-kun just as much, huh?" Shinra asked, hitting the nail on the head. Aiako let out a soft oh, putting the pieces together. "Sorry, Sosa-kun, I don't know if I can really tell you the reason why. I may be Izaya-kun's closest friend, but that doesn't mean I know everything about him. You should know by now that he's not one to be vulnerable about his feelings, right? He always talks about Shizuo-kun being some 'protozoan' and a 'monster,' but I wonder if those even count as reasons. To me, they just kind of sound like excuses."
You've got that right. Izaya liked to be the one in control, no doubt. He sure wanted to act all flippant, but that was so people would think he was unflappable. But it didn't matter how much you worked at it; at the end of the day, even people like me and Izaya were human. We had our flaws and our issues, too. Press the right buttons, and you'd get a reaction. That's why people were toys. Some just happened to have a larger variety of responses than others, and that's what made them interesting.
So, Izaya-kun, what buttons of yours does Shizu-chan happen to push?
"Ah, well, it's not your fault that you don't know, Shinra-kun," I said, flicking a piece of plastic from the yatsuhashi package off of where it was clinging to my pant leg. At last taking advantage of the whole extra bowl of sugar Shinra had gotten me, I settled into filling up my teacup with the proper proportions. "You can, however, fill me in on all the embarrassing details on Izaya-kun's younger days."
"Sosa-san has as poor taste as ever…" Aiako muttered, and I laughed, regardless of if she'd meant it as a joke or not. I wasn't about to stop her from learning to speak her mind. "Then again…blackmail material wouldn't be too bad to have."
"I don't know how easy it is to blackmail Izaya-kun, but I don't mind sharing," Shinra said, his smile not once wavering. I'd thought it before, but it was no wonder that he and Izaya were friends, or the approximation of such. "Oh, just know that I'm happy to talk, but I can't do it all evening. Celty's going to be home this evening, and I need to spend every possible second with her that I can!"
I paused mid sip of my tea. It wasn't anything shocking enough to make me do a spit take, but it was still a new revelation that I hadn't heard about before.
Aiako, for once, got the first word in, though it was obvious that she didn't understand the full implications of that statement. "Is Celty-san your girlfriend, Sensei?"
"Well, I can't really say, yes, but it isn't no, either…" Shinra was gushing, so it made sense that Aiako had come to that conclusion, but it didn't change the fact that I'd been kept in the dark once again, despite everything I've been told thus far.
Izaya-kun, you cheater, cheater, cheater!
I slammed my teacup to the table, cutting off the carefree conversation, and both Shinra and Aiako looked to me. I sucked in a breath, though that did nothing to cut off the frustration bubbling up inside me.
"How come you didn't mention that you know Celty sooner?!"
[Author's Notes]
The Orihara twins are a delight. Expect more from them soon and in advance of x2.
Thanks to BethxAngel, SadisticKarma, Yasha2522, Ignasium, vivremson, vhatisname, itsmetheultimateidiot, and benshai for the favorites and follows since the last chapter. This update is a special one for this fic's anniversary. Goodness, it's eight years old already...
I'm currently focusing my energy on posting the upcoming end of my Shaman King fic, Aviantei, as well as my most recent work for Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer, walk steady on this cruel world's path. Both are OC-centric fics that I'm rather fond of. Maybe they can occupy you for a while as I'm in the middle of fighting with chapter 22, which is making me seriously consider my pacing for the next couple of events. I'll be doing the work to get to more consistent updates again (maybe, I sure do hope so)!
Next time: Izaya POV returns and Sosa pitches a fit. See you then!
-Avi
[05.20.2021]
