Jokes, Whims, & Coincidences

By: Aviantei

Chapter Twenty-Two, Taking a Rest

Orihara Izaya: Fielding Accusations


By all intents and purposes, I'd had a good day. Work had gone well (as entertaining as having Sosa around was, having her off seemed to increase my productivity), I'd gotten treated to otoroo over a business lunch, and I'd gotten to have the extra fun activity of taunting Shizu-chan from a distance and getting away before he could even make chase. Even after all these years, I still couldn't get over how even the slightest mention of my name could set him off, but it was nice not to have a full chase go down.

Still, I might wanna lie low for a bit. I wonder if Sosa-chan's in, or if she's out on a nighttime adventure?

I had a hard enough time keeping tabs on the woman while she was on the job for me; I hadn't even started on expending the resources to do so in her off time. It would be possible, but there was no need to invest so much into an ally when I could better use it for other things. That said, I knew from her chat history that she was the type to stay up rather late if the urge hit, so it wasn't like I would be disturbing her if I dropped by to hide out for a bit before heading home.

And, well, even if I were disturbing her, I couldn't see her caring much at all.

Tekichu Sosa was a strange one, I'd noticed in the time since we'd met. She was a mix of childish and astute, with plenty of interesting bits that made her one of the more fun humans I'd interacted with in a while. Her excitement over every new piece of the puzzle was genuine, and, though she was curious about it, she hadn't pestered me for each and every detail, like she was having fun all on her own. I couldn't help but wonder just how she'd react whenever everything happened to unfurl to its fullest potential.

Which might not be much longer, if my hunch was right. A lot of old threads and new ones were coming into play, and I was more than glad to watch. It was just a matter of making sure I was present for it—but that could be managed by manipulating all the right pieces, now couldn't it?

I sent out a few messages on my phone while I rode the elevator up to Sosa-chan's floor, fanning the flames a bit more in certain areas. With how the situation was with Harima Mika-chan, I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until the mess at Nebula boiled over. That done, I checked a few extra messages and news feeds just to keep a pulse on the city before I arrived at my destination. Without so much as a warning, I knocked on the door.

A few moments went by, and I passed the time by reading through another email with the plan of leaving if Sosa hadn't responded by the time I got through a response. That ended up not being necessary, though, as I wasn't even halfway done with typing before the door flew open, revealing Sosa in a tank top and loose pants that I assumed to be her pajamas—not to mention the angry pout on her face.

"You," she said, grabbing onto my arm and dragging me inside, "are the absolute worst."

"Odd thing to say after inviting someone into your home," I said, letting her drop me on the couch and watching as she stormed first to the door to shut and lock it, then stomped back to the kitchen to possibly be making some tea. "Of course, it's not the worst thing I've ever had someone say to me, either, so I won't take too much offense to it. To what do I owe this possibly accurate accusation?"

There was the sound of rummaging packages and the slamming of cabinets. "You've been leaving me out of all the fun stuff, you jerk!"

When Sosa reemerged, it wasn't with the handmade tea set from my last visit, but instead with several armfuls of snacks that she dumped on the table before tossing a bag of chips at my head. I caught it, amused by just how agitated and grumpy Sosa looked; it was rather different from her usual chipper demeanor. Even if I didn't know what I'd done to earn such ire, it was still fun to see a new side to her. Once she explained her logic, I was sure I'd have a new pattern to apply to her for future reference.

Now we just had to make sure she didn't go becoming too unpredictable…

Setting that thought aside, I shrugged and opened up the chips, that puff of packaged air hitting me in the face with a savory scent. Even if she was upset with me, she hadn't tossed me anything too sweet out of a sense of vindictiveness, which she very well could have, considering that she was munching her way through some chocolate snack cake or another. "I would think, all things considered and in comparison to other people, I've been very generous with what I've let you know. Though, as an info broker, perhaps I should apologize for providing you with unsatisfactory service?"

That was a line of bullshit, and we both knew it. She'd seen me handle chumps before, the people who I swindled into spending more because they hadn't made a specific enough request the first time. When Sosa had asked, I'd known just what she was aiming for, and I'd given her a rather thorough rundown of the interesting players on the map. For someone who'd only moved to Tokyo in the past year, Sosa knew far more about its underground life than many of the people who'd been born and raised here.

Sosa had already finished off one package of compressed sugar and was tearing into another. Goodness, there were teenagers out there that would commit ritual sacrifices to have such an accommodating figure to their diet. "Yeah, you told me loads, but you super neglected the good stuff. Like how Shinra-chan and Celty-chan live together! Hello, interpersonal relationships are some of the easiest things to exploit!"

She was not wrong by any means. Even I wasn't above using relationships to get my way—one might even say there was very little I was above doing, if anything. And I'd played around with Celty's feelings plenty of times, and not just revolving around her missing head. A threat to Shinra would be dangerous, but it was also a powerful bargaining tool in my back pocket.

And yet I hadn't said anything of the sort to Sosa. What had that been about?

"I wouldn't say it slipped my mind, but I also didn't know just how relevant it would be." Sosa continued to glare at me, but I took a few chips from the bag to show that I wasn't about to let her control the pace. I tended not to eat these kinds of foods, but I could make the occasional exception. "Not to say that you're not enjoyable, Sosa-chan, but I didn't know then whether you'd be useful to me or not." Because, at the end of the day, Sosa was just another human, too, and that meant I would show her my love by exploiting her fullest potential. But even I wasn't about to go all in without being able to tell if it would be beneficial to me.

This was a relationship of mutual benefit, both of us using each other to achieve our own means. Even Sosa viewed me as a toy, rather than a person of value.

We both knew this, even if neither of us had ever said it. And so nobody's feelings got hurt because of it. Neither of us cared.

Sosa took her time with folding the wrapper of her snack cake into a neat little square, then reached for her next target. There was something still on her mind, but it was just a few beats before her grumpy expression morphed into that razor-sharp stare that made her look as dangerous as she was. "Does that same sort of logic apply to why you decided not to tell me about Mairu-chan and Kururi-chan?"

Well, then.

My sisters were not a topic I enjoyed delving into in the slightest. They were try-hards, two easily influenced children who had distributed out personality traits with a flip of a coin in an attempt to gain my attention. At the same time, they acted out against me with ire, and the fact that they withstood Shizu-chan out of some silly crush on his celebrity younger brother made them even more of a hassle. Since I didn't do things like return to my parents' house, I didn't see them much, but they had the habit of popping back up at the most annoying times.

"My condolences for running into such nuisances," I said. "They did end up at Raira Middle, I suppose. Did Aiako-chan happen to cross paths with them, then?" I could just see it now, the panic of Sosa's little protégé as she realized she was in the same year as not just one, but two people who were related to me; Orihara wasn't a common name by any means, after all. I hoped it had been Mairu who'd made first contact, just because Aiako's panic would have been more entertaining that way. Of course, not that any of that mattered since I hadn't been there to witness it.

Sosa crossed her arms in the shape of an X, imitating a buzzer noise. "Incorrect, Izaya-kun. The Universe was kind enough to drop them right on me in another of those lovely coincidences! Though it would have been much, much better if I'd been able to enjoy their company for an extended bit of time, but I'll take what I can get. It's not like I don't know where to find them when I want a nice little chat."

Now, if I were what society considered a good elder brother, I would have been very much so concerned that someone like Tekichu Sosa had taken an amused form of interest in my younger sisters. I'd seen just what she was capable of from up close, knew what she considered a good way to enjoy people. She'd tear people apart, regardless of their age or status. To her, children were yet another type of toy on the shelves upon shelves of human playthings, and I had no doubt that she'd toss them aside the moment she got bored of them or if they broke.

I was not what society considered a good elder brother.

If I'd had my way, I wouldn't have even been an elder brother at all. Things like family were an unfortunate necessity of being born in this world. You couldn't exist as a human without being related to at least two people by blood, and many more connections stemmed out of that. And while I couldn't care less what happened to the rest of the Oriharas, having such an exploitable connection was annoying in my line of work. Oh, it wouldn't work on me, not at all, but there were people who would entertain the concept anyways, and it would be a hassle.

As far as I was concerned, Orihara Mairu and Orihara Kururi were nuisances.

And I was certain that no other person could make them even more of a nuisance than Tekichu Sosa.

Her smile was guileless, a genuine reflection of her feelings on the matter. Was she so confident in her abilities that she felt that she didn't have any need to hide her true thoughts? Or was it that just part of the manipulation? I didn't know yet, and that was part of what made it interesting.

"Well, I think you can understand why someone in my line of work wouldn't go out there broadcasting that I have family their age," I said, feeding her my usual line. Of course, that didn't account for the fact that Mairu and Kururi were much more adept at taking care of themselves than other girls their age, but such things mattered little when you worked in the underworld. I ate a few more chips, not even processing the flavor. "But when it comes down to it, they also have the ability to be pretty big thorns in my side, so my personal bias may have played a role in that one."

Sosa sniggered, her irritation starting to melt away. "Letting personal bias get in the way of business, Izaya-kun. Shame on you." Her eclectic moods were rearing their heads again, or maybe the sugar had put her in a good mood. Either way, it seemed I hadn't earned her full ire. I wasn't quite sure if I felt satisfied or disappointed about the fact.

I leaned back on the couch, feeling a little knot of tension in my shoulders start to melt away. A nice bath would be in order once I got home. "Considering that you work for me, can you consider that transaction of ours business?"

"It's because I work for you that it is business," Sosa said without even batting an eye. If nothing else, a conversation with her never seemed to be boring. I'd made a wonderful find on what had supposed to be a one-time prank. "Well, either way, your secrets are out, Izaya-kun. Now, are you going to remember anything else you just so happened to forget to tell me, or am I going to have to dig up your factual errors all on my own?"

"So cruel," I said, not even meaning it. This, too, was part of the fun when it came down to it. "But if you want, I suppose I could give you a few more tidbits. Though I'm surprised that you don't just want to go ahead and uncover everything on your own." Meaning that I wasn't surprised in the slightest, all things considered.

"I mean, I'm coming to you to figure things out. Doesn't that count as research?" She tossed a handful of gummies into her mouth—when had she even moved onto the next snack pack anyways?—and continued to talk as she chewed, "You're doing that thing where you're talking me around in circles to avoid answering the question."

"Didn't you say that you enjoyed talking with me anyways?"

Sosa pursed her lips before swallowing. "I mean, yeah, but I'm still mad at you for hiding things from me in the first place." Considering her demeanor, I never would have been able to guess. "Come on, come on, won't it be a lot more fun if I know what's going on, anyways? We can chat more behind the scenes! Make snarky jokes in the chat! Make whatever evil plans you have even better as we sow chaos through Ikebukuro!" She tossed her arms up into the air, as if it was a super obvious outcome.

Of course she goes ahead and assumes that I want to sow chaos. Though, with what my preferred outcome was, I couldn't just outright say that she was wrong, either. "Well, since you're so concerned with Shinra's personal life, I suppose I could let you know more about what he's been up to…"

It was his fault I'd been subjected to this; he could put up with Sosa in return.


Taro Tanaka has joined the room.
Kanra has joined the room.

Taro Tanaka: Good evening
Kanra: Gooood evening!
Taro Tanaka: How come when you lose stuff, it's always the good stuff?
Taro Tanaka: Say like a brand new umbrella
Taro Tanaka: You'll lose that, but never the old crappy one…
Kanra: Losing an umbrella's not so bad, but a winning lottery ticket?
Kanra: That's something you stash away, but can't remember where
Taro Tanaka: And when you go look for it, you find everything but that
Kanra: Maybe we just think the stuff we lose is more important than the stuff we have…

Setton has joined the room.
Tanuki Usagi has joined the room.

Setton: Hey there
Tanuki Usagi: Good evening
Setton: Are you guys looking for something?
Tanuki Usagi: Or are we just talking about losing things?
Taro Tanaka: Well I did help someone find their missing shoes today…
Taro Tanaka: And I ended up forgetting a bunch of stuff, too
Kanra: That kind of stuff happens when you're getting used to a new place, huh?
Tanuki Usagi: Eh? Taro-san, did you move recently?
Taro Tanaka: Oh, yes, that was right before you joined the chat Tanuki-san
Tanuki Usagi: I see…
Setton: Thinking about it, sometimes you end up losing all the really big stuff, huh?
Setton: And because it's so important, you just can't accept that it's gone…
Kanra: Like a missing lottery ticket?
Kanra: If you ever find it, you should share it with us!
Tanuki Usagi: As shameless as ever, Kanra-san
Kanra: You're starting to sound like our Kakkoii_chan over there!
Tanuki Usagi: Since they're not present, it's my job as a protégé to fill in
Setton: Protégé to what exactly…?
Taro Tanaka: In any event, it's not like we can't handle losing a few things for a while
Taro Tanaka: Though maybe that's unfair to people who've lost something really important?
Setton: I mean, something like that is complicated…
Setton: Like what if you lose your memories? Don't you think you'd want those back?
Kanra: Things are getting really deep now!
Tanuki Usagi: As obnoxious as ever, Kanra-san
Kanra: Hey now!
Kanra: Kakkoii_chan would never say such a thing! That's all you!
Tanaka Taro: Come to think of it…
Tanaka Taro: Where is Kakkoii_chan-san?
Tanaka Taro: They're usually almost always online, even when they're busy…


To: XXXX
From: Nakura

Be careful. It looks like they're going to be sending even more people after you soon. I'd change locations in the next few days if you can.


Now…

"It's just about time for things to get started here, ne?"


[Author's Notes]

It's that time for anniversary/holiday posting! Slowly inching our way into episode eight territory, and that means we're almost at all the Dollars shenanigans! This opening section of the anime sure takes its time getting where it wants to go, now doesn't it?

Thanks to PirateIllusion, and Lycoris Black rosa for the faves and follow since the last update! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the fic, so feel free to drop off a review so I know what's up.

The more I write Izaya POV, the more I wonder how much you can take what he says seriously. He and Sosa are hardcore unreliable narrators, let's be real. Which means it's a nightmare to work with sometimes, but that's also half the fun.

Rewatching episode eight to get my plans in gear, I was surprised to realize how short the chat conversation is in this one, so I expanded on it here. Watching Aiako get sassier by the day is a delight to work with.

Watch me throwing down shameless promos of the two works that are my bi-weekly updates atm: walk steady on this cruel world's path for Demon Slayer OC Insert shenanigans and Muse for the third season of my The World Ends With You fic that I meant to finish last year.

I hope everyone's holidays and whatnot are going well! We'll have chapter twenty-three drop next year, so I'll see y'all on this story then. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[12.26.2021]