Chapter 7 - Admissions, Realizations, Apathy
" Come on," he took her hand in his, and guided her through some trees before she stopped walking.
"What's in there?"
" Samples of...that," he replied, pointing at a bunch of shrubs.
" Leaves? I'm gunna eat leaves?" she asked confusedly and he chuckled.
" Course not, why would I walk all this way for leaves? Look!" A light chuckle escaped his mouth and brought a smile to her otherwise confused face.
" Ya wanna fill me in, pal? Cause I'm obviously missing something," she joked.
" Here..." he handed her the bark-made bowl, eliciting a shocked " Oh!" She looked back towards the shrubs, this time looking closer. Sure enough, small, ripe berries covered the bush, well hidden by its leaves.
" Tommy!" she was never so thankful or happy to see something so simple, and yet here she was, rejoicing over berries.
" And look at that one over there.." he said gesturing to a small tree, excited that she was so happy.
" What are they?" she asked, picking round objects off the tree.
" Some kind of nuts.. I can't really remember what kind, but I'm pretty sure we can eat them.."
She nodded animatedly, " Oh! Nuts that grow on trees... I learned this.. I was a girl scout for a good week and a half.. Uh.. Nuts, nuts.. Oh! Duh, Jude... Chestnuts and walnuts grow on trees!"
" Nice job, red.. You've made your troop proud.." he teased, only to have her stick her tongue out at him.
" Hey, without that troop we might not have that fire!" She laughed, continuing to pick berries and nuts, adding them to the bowl; when that was filled she used her T-shirt. After she had a sufficient amount, she turned to Tommy, all smiles, and said quietly, " Thank you."
They sat close to the fire, completely absorbed in their new-found food, and both completely content.
"So, Jude.. Anything else I should know about you.. In addition to your girl-scouting past, and amazing voice, that is," he grinned, adding more logs to the dying fire.
" Hmm.. Nothing too interesting.. Move that over a little or we're gonna roast...what about you? You knew where to find berries and that it was safe to eat ghem.. I think Little Tommy Q's hiding something!"
"Yeah, yeah, you caught me.. I was a boy scout 'back in the day'.."
" Awww! Your fellow troopers would be so proud! Was this before or after BoyzAttack? "
" Before, and yes they would.." he laughed.
"Soo.." they both started as the laughter died down.
"How old are you?" they asked at the same time, causing more giggles.
"Sixteen..."
"Sixteen?" he asked shocked. There was no way she was only 16. He kissed a minor! Why didn't he check her age sooner?
"Yeah..." she waited for his response, not missing the look on his face. She could tell he was regretting kissing her.
"I thought you were older," he explained, and she just nodded. She didn't hear that every day.
"I'm 23," he added, but she didn't respond. She had guessed something around there.
They fell into an uncomfortable silence. Before long though, Jude sighed loudly, looking up at the sky.
" You okay?" Tommy asked cautiously.
" Yeah, I guess... I'm just bored here.. I wanna go home.." she said quietly, hoping she wouldn't cry again. He stayed quiet, just nodding, and oddly enough that gave her comfort. She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers instead of looking up at his intent stare.
" I just... It's so frustrating, knowing that everything's going on with out you.. My friends and my family.. And management and just everyone... They're all going about their normal lives, doing their own thing, probably upset over me, but knowing they can't do anything. Thinking I'm gone, ya know? And.. And I can't help but wonder.. Do they have any hope left that I'm still alive?" she looked up with cloudy eyes, and he felt his heart being torn. So much emotion was poured into those words, and so much of it was what he was feeling.
" Jude, I... Well, I know it's not much, but I know how you're feeling, and hey.. Don't hold those tears back.. Sometimes it's better to just cry. If you're family and friends and management are half the people that you are.. You can bet they have hope left. And even if they aren't... I'm sure not a single person on this earth would give up hope on you."
She just nodded, knowing if she looked into his eyes she wouldn't have the strength to look away; she barely knew him but he already had a huge effect on her. And deep down, amidst that sense of comfort, there was fear of him.
Fear of that feeling he sent to the pit of her now-full stomach every time he looked at her. Smiled at her. Laughed. Moved. Breathed. But he was 23, and now he knew that she was just a sixteen year old kid.
" Jude? You okay in there?"
" Huh? Oh yea.. I..this whole experience has got me thinking crazy that's all.." she said shakily.
" Ya wanna find somethin to do? Get your mind off things..." he asked softly, and she nodded, slowly standing up.
" Thanks," she smiled as he helped her stand up. " Soo, what are we doing?"
" Uh, no clue... any suggestions?" he asked looking around.
" Wanna go for a walk?"
They walked in a random direction, slowly but at a steady pace, in silence. Her mind wandered as she studied everything about their surroundings. It was a beautiful place, whatever it was, and the sounds of nature gave her a quiet confidence that things would work out. Things would always work out. The clean air felt good against her hot skin, and the bright sun gave her hope for another day. A better day. A light smile danced across her lips, threatening to appear at the new appreciation she found for all that was now around her. The quiet flow of a stream let her know that they could find their way back to camp, but at the same time, assured her they were headed in the wrong direction. The thickening of the many trees around them offered a sanctuary from the heat and the quiet sounds of creatures and animals gave her the sense of security she needed to know they weren't in any immediate danger. It was peaceful here. Lonely, but peaceful.
Tommy watched her in awe as she went from one extreme to the next. He couldn't believe this girl was so young, it was almost a sin. The unshed tears that had threatened to fall just moments earlier had been replaced with a happy sparkle. Almost unknowingly, his hand reached for her smaller one, and she almost jumped in surprise.
" Sorry..." he said quietly, pulling his hand away.
She was almost upset that he disturbed the comfortable silence they had established, but at the same time, was glad to hear his voice. Every emotion she now experienced now seemed to have a conflicting one, but she wasn't worried about it. She was focused on the moment, on the good feelings, on him. Just him.
" Don't be.." Her voice was so quiet it almost went unheard. Almost. She took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers, and smiled brightly as they continued their walk.
The slowed their pace as Jude side-stepped a log, but heard a loud SPLAT! as she hopped it.
" Ugh!" She groaned , looking down at her feet, " Mud!"
She tried to strep out of the enormous puddle, but to no avail. She only managed to get dirtier while Tommy laughed his head off watching her.
" Quit giggling pretty boy, and help me out!" She said through clenched teeth. As funny as this was, she wasn't about to laugh until she was out.
" Alright, alright, sorry.." he said suppressing his laughs.
He reached for her arm and tried pulling her, but her foot just didn't want to budge. He moved closer, making sure his own feet didn't touch the mud, and bent down to take a hold of her leg. She watched as he tugged determinedly, then saw almost as if in slow motion his own foot slip causing him to land flat in the mud. That was it for Jude. She doubled over in laughter as Tommy tried to get up. She clutched her stomach which was now aching from laughing so hard, and offered her free hand to him. He took it gratefully, ready to pull himself up, but paused. All of a sudden, Jude felt a strong pull on her arm, and came falling forward, landing next to Tommy in the mud.
" You did that on purpose!" she accused, tears falling down her cheeks from laughing hysterically. She grabbed a handful of mud, and held it up.
" Don't even..!" he challenged, but before he could even get the last word out a glob of mud landed in his hair, dripping down his forehead. He wiped the mud off his face, listening as she giggled uncontrollably.
" That does it!" he shouted, and nearly tackled her. She felt her back sink lower into the mud, but at the moment she couldn't have cared less. Little Tommy Q was having a mud fight with her. On top of her! He began to tickle her mercilessly, causing her to squeal and try to get free, but it wasn't worth the struggle. He was much bigger than her, and he was now almost straddling her small body. She kicked her feet and flailed her arms, but still he didn't move. She was now almost completely out of breath from laughing, and couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun. He felt her stop struggling, and smiled at his victory.
" Ah! Tommy is once again victorious!"
" I think NOT!" she screamed as he felt her small hand smash mud into his back.
"Awww! You got me.. You're a sneaky little one..." he laughed, watching her grin widely. He was completely mesmerized by her smile, and the way her eyes were sparkling with such life. He quickly snapped out of his trance though, realizing she was blushing slightly, and rushed to get off of her. He stood up, somewhat shakily, and managed to get out of the mud. She sat up, but still didn't get out of the puddle. He chuckled quietly, realizing she was stuck, and went back in to get her. He reached down, getting her into a huge bear hug and stood up with her in his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and grinned up at him; they were both covered head to toe in mud, but neither seemed to care at all.
They made their way back to camp, the mud drying somewhat, and both laid down in the sand near the lake. Jude stared at the sky, but stood up quickly.
" I'm gonna go clean up... this mud is kinda gross."
" Sounds like a plan..." Tommy said, standing up and following her into their cave. She grabbed her stuff and attempted to walk back out, but he was in the way. She raised her eyebrow at him, silently asking what he was doing.
" I figured I'd join ya," he grinned, giving her a suggestion glance up and down.
Jude gave him a warning glance right back, pulling her armful of things close to her in an attempt to keep his wandering eyes away, 'Yeah, right, he's gotta be kidding...' she thought before getting angered enough to say something back.
" Think again, Quincy. I hope you don't think you're gettin any..." She said rolling her eyes and pushing him over, crawling out of the cave once her way had been cleared. She walked towards the side of the lake, not realizing he was following her. He couldn't deny he had thought about it, but she was sixteen. He knew better. Didn't he?
"Did you just hear what I said or are you deaf AND shallow?" Jude allowed herself a second to answer the question, "Why am I even asking you? Get out of my way..."
" Aww, come on Jude, you can't deny you want a piece of this.." he said half jokingly; unfortunately she didn't catch the joke. She spun around, causing him to nearly collide with her.
"And are you judging that on the one kiss we had, or just the fact that you're a former member of a popular boy band?" She was pissed that she liked him; she was mad that she wanted to throw her morals out the window for him, of all people. She was mad that he was her first kiss; not because it was bad; the complete opposite. It was perfect, but she knew it wasn't real the second she admitted her age. So why was he still flirting with her? Or was he? No, he's definitely flirting with me. But it's only because I'm the only one around, he probably can't help it... She was mad he was 23, and out of her league, and she was taking it out on him. How did she get so angry so fast?
She changed directions, walking farther away from him and then out of sight, and left Tommy standing there, in complete awe of both her mood swings and how her hips swayed when she was angry.
Something told him to go after her... even if he was crossing a line by defying her like this, she deserved an apology and an explanation. Spending this long with her alone had taught him one thing that he often forgot... Jude was shy under her feisty exterior. Despite how pushy and loud and fun she could be, Tommy knew that she was insecure. And probably confused. For perhaps the first time since they'd gotten stuck here... Tommy understood her. And he wasn't about to let her get away.
Figuring he'd give Jude a chance to cool off, Tommy got into the lake to wash off the mud that he was completely covered with. He peeled off the clearly ruined clothes and put his head under the water, cleaning the mud out of his face and hair. A few minutes later he emerged, realizing the problem he discovered a little too late.
"Damn it... so much for having clean clothes." Tommy talked to himself, glancing around for something to cover himself with. After coming to the conclusion that maybe dirty clothes wouldn't be so bad when compared to none at all, he started to look around for his only clothes left.
"Come on!" Tommy waded around in the lake, wishing that he hadn't so carelessly tossed the clothes back in the lake. He finally found them, soaking wet, and threw them on. Something more important now returned to his mind, and he looked in the direction that Jude ran off before.
Speeding off into the forest, soaking wet and freezing, Tommy let his instincts bring him to Jude. Somehow, he knew exactly where she was going to get some privacy. His suspicions were correct when he heard quiet humming along with the loud noise of rushing water at the site of their kiss; their waterfall.
Coming to an abrupt stop where he was sure Jude couldn't see him, Tommy looked around and his eyes finally settled on her figure just a couple of yards away. Hoping that he hadn't given his hiding place away by running so loudly, Tommy poked his head out from behind the bush that hid him from the girl who was mad at him at that moment.
Right away he found himself looking at her incredibly gorgeous naked back and shoulders with the heavy stream of water cascading down her. The water that filled the small lake came up to her waist and kept most of her body covered, while the only thing stopping him from seeing her upper body was that she was facing away from him. He felt a twinge of guilt as she was unknowingly so exposed to him, especially after their fight a few minutes earlier.
Knowing that interrupting her would make their situation ten times worse, he turned around and headed back to sit at the fire, waiting impatiently for her to return, while thoughts and images of her overwhelmed his imagination.
There was no way he was sitting here, dreaming about a sixteen year old girl. She doesn't act 16 though, he reasoned with himself. It doesn't matter. She's still a minor. It's still illegal. He groaned. He'd never had a girl cause him so much turmoil before. But then again, he'd usually kept his relations legal. It's not even a relation. This is just some stupid phase, we're stuck god knows where, for who knows how long, obviously I'm gonna be attracted to the only girl I'm with, no matter what her age. He tried to justify the situation in his mind, but he knew it wasn't just physical. I'm so screwed...
He saw Jude approaching him, her clothes mirrored his own : soaking wet and clinginy to her body, something he wasn't complaining about anymore. Before she had a chance to ignore him, walk away, or completely snap, Tommy spoke.
" Jude, I'm sorry for coming off as an overconfident jerk. And I'm sorry that I made blatant passes at you when it was obvious you weren't interested..." he started, not believing that he was completely rejected by a girl for the first time in his life. Not only was it bad enough that he was totally rejected though, it was by a sixteen year old he actually was interested in, and he was the last person available to her in at least a hundred mile radius. " I really am pathetic.." he thought out loud.
"No, look. I'm sorry I snapped. My emotions are all over out here, can we just forget it?" She asked, crossing her fingers. She sighed in relief as he nodded and she sat next to him, close to the fire.
"This totally sucks," she said, her words mirroring his thoughts. But he wasn't sure if she meant the clothes situation, the fact that they were obviously attracted to each other, or the fact that they weren't acting on it. He decided a combination of all three.
They sat in comfortable silence, both freezing cold in their wet clothes. He noticed she was shivering, and he couldn't help but feel bad. He moved closer to her, and was surprised when she followed suit. She leaned against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, trying to keep her warm.
She looked up at him, and before she knew what she was doing she said, " That was my first kiss, you know.."
He didn't know what to think; her first kiss? Was she serious? He was kissing girls since he was like eleven. Twelve, tops. He thought about his first kiss. Awkward, was all he could think, and he didn't feel that at all when Jude kissed back. She certainly didn't kiss like an amateur. He noticed she looked nervous at her admission, and shook his head.
"Can I be your second?" he asked, not waiting for her to answer. He saw the answer in her eyes, and immediately closed the space between them, meeting his lips with hers. For the second time since they'd be there, he didn't want to think about anything but her; he forgot she was sixteen, he forgot he was 23. He just wished he never had to stop, and he continued kissing her like he didn't have to.
