Epilogue: In which we see where Samus's decisions land her years later.
"They said you know SR-388 inside and out," Dr. Yokoi said, scrutinizing the woman in front of him.
"Yes... yes I do," Samus Aran said with a nod of affirmation. "It was the second mission the Federation hired me for. I was to exterminate the Metroid threat."
"Right, right. That's what your records say. Are you still employed by the Federation at all?"
"No... after I blew up an entire planet they weren't keen on keeping me on. Besides, at that point I had destroyed the threat, so I'd technically fulfilled my contract. After that..."
"Right, right, peace returned to the galaxy."
"Yes. So... why SR-388?"
"Oh, curiosity, mainly."
Samus nearly choked on her already-chokable coffee. It was like drinking motor oil as it was, but in her case, beggars couldn't be choosers. "Curiosity? There's nothing there."
"Well, it's been, what, 8, 9 years since the last Zebes mission? We at Biologic Space Labs want to examine how the environments and ecosystems have changed since the Metroid were eradicated."
"And I'm the best one for the job since I've been there before, right?"
Dr. Yokoi fidgeted. "Sort of. See... no one else wants to go, even with the financial support we're offering. And our research indicates that you could use the money. And you can't really afford, literally or figuratively, to turn this down."
Samus sighed and shoved her coffee cup away, now nauseous. "No... no, I can't. You're right. Just hand me the contract, give me the terms, and we're on." Inwardly she cringed; she was now reduced to a tour guide of the most violent planet in the galaxy!
Dr. Yokoi slid the papers Samus's way and watched her peruse the fine print. "Ms. Aran," he began tentatively. "I just have to ask you one question."
Samus looked up and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Yes?" she asked warily.
"Why? Why would you do it?"
"Do what?"
"The tax fraud. I mean, you brought peace to the galaxy, only to do something against the laws."
"Yeah, I know, it's a bit ironic," Samus said acridly. "But does it have anything to do with the terms of this contract? I'll pay my taxes on it, honestly," she added with sarcasm obvious in her voice.
"No, no, that's not my concern. I just had to wonder, that's all."
"Well..." Samus began, tapping her chin with her pen, remembering the tax forms, the baby Metroid... the Bobs smiling in unison... Armstrong and his tax jargon and abbreviations... and the way they'd all crumbled into dust... and the money she'd gotten from selling the baby Metroid on E-bay for medical research... She sighed and turned her attentions back to Dr. Yokoi.
"Let's just say, Doctor, that it was a good idea, at the time."
Fin
Author Notes and Concluding Remarks: In which the author annotates her story, and makes remarks to conclude her writing of this piece of fanfiction
I would like to conclude this piece with several thank you's to my reviewers! I won't address you individually, because others may come along in the future that won't wind up addressed here and they might feel left out and embittered, and I'd feel guilty, and no one needs that. So a heartfelt thank you to all who have read and reviewed this story. As an author I write because I enjoy it (which is why I continue my Harry Potter fiction even though it's buried under mountains of stuff) but I also write because it gives me pleasure to know a reader has read something he or she enjoys.
When I got the idea for this (it did just pop into my head one day) I knew I couldn't resist. The fodder was there; I just had to rearrange it into something creative. Most of the little details were unintentional; I didn't plan for Armstrong to be a bumbling idiot who did what he did only because his father was a corporate guy. I didn't plan the Bobs, but once they happened I was in love with them and their role. About the only thing I planned was the trajectory of the story; the small details fell into place randomly and with, I hope, humorous results.
It's not idiotic or slapstick by any means (at least I hope not). It's satirical and cynical parody. It's Office Space goes to space. In short, it was a good idea, at the time. And at least my results turned out better than Samus's, right?
In short, it has given me pleasure as an author to write this, and enjoyment to see people reading and enjoying it. It makes me glad to make the world a slightly more cheerful place. Okay, maybe that's stretching it a bit, but seriously, thank you for your reviews, and I'm glad you have enjoyed this humble offering to the fanfiction deities. And I also made it through a paragraph without a parenthetical. Miracles do happen.
Now I'm really Fin.
