Hey all, HAPPY EASTER!
I wanna thank you all soooooosososo much for the reviews, I couldn't believe the response I got. Definitely a good thing.
Just a quick author's note, then I'll get to the next chapter..
A/N : In the original fic, Tommy's position was owner of the label... so I kinda hadda revamp it; adjust quite a few things, so if it's a little off, or confusing, or overly dramatic, that's why. I hope you still like it, and obviously I don't own the song.
Chapter 11 - Imperfection's Never Been So Perfect
" Oh, God... you.. You're already signed with us? You're the Instant Star winner?" he muttered as she stood up.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
" You... I... I'll be back.." she said confusedly, as she turned to walk away.
" Jude.. Wait! What's wrong? This is good..."
" No it isn't Tommy! It's your freaking label that wants me to change.. I thought I had a chance in this business, but now it's quite apparent that I don't unless I cave.. Tommy, I'm not mad, I'm just.. I'm confused.. I need to think.." She turned away from him, but didn't make any attempts at moving. Finally she started a slow pace moving away from Tommy.
" Wait, Jude, can we talk?" he asked, catching up with her.
" Can I just think about everything for a minute?"
" You don't understand though, Jude, I'm not like those workers.. I'm not even associated with them, I'm a freelance producer there. I'm producing you as a favor to Georgia."
I never meant to do those things to you
" That makes it worse Tommy, that you don't even have any idea that the company you work for is molding your clients, the people you're supposed to be producing, according to what they think is right, and not according to your rules and standards. You should be telling them how the album should sound, not the other way around. It's hypocritical! "
He froze at her accusation, while she waited for a reply. But Tommy was both taken aback, and somewhat hurt, and she didn't receive one. He met her gaze, his eyes colder than they had been mere moments ago. She shook her head, wishing more than ever that she had thought before she spoke, but she hadn't. She turned away from him once again, but before she could walk away, Tommy did. And she didn't try to stop him.
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Jude stood in the same spot, just thinking things over and wondering what everything meant. She had no idea how long she stood there, or what she was going to say to Tommy. Or even if he'd speak to her. But she knew she had to try, so she went off to find him, practicing an apology in her head. Not knowing where to look, she decided to head straight to her own thinking spot, their waterfall, and sure enough, after a short walk she found him there, leaning against the wall of the small cave, his knees to his chest and his head in his hands.
" Tommy?" she spoke too softly, and her voice was unheard over the roar of the waterfall.
"Tommy?" her voice was somewhat louder, no stronger though, and he still didn't hear her. She took a step toward him, kneeling next to him and gently placing her hand on his knee. He jumped in surprise, and she was taken aback at his tear stained face and red eyes. They met her own, and she was unable to look away, unable to think coherently, and unable to speak.
" Did you have a decision, Miss Harrison, or are you hear to pronounce more accusations against myself, and the business I've worked so hard on?" He was cold, but not without reason.
" Can you come back now? We can't very well hold a conversation here, it's too loud, and I don't want to scream.." she said, only loud enough to be heard. He didn't answer, just stood up, and walked away. She followed, not speaking until she caught up, and as she tried to keep up with his pace, she tripped and nearly fell.
" Would you mind slowing down?" He did, without answering and they soon arrived back at the scene where all was discovered.
" Well?" he asked, and she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. He raised an eyebrow at her, still waiting.
" I.. Well, I'm sorry for accusing you of those things, but you have to see where I'm coming from.." she started only to be interrupted.
" Where you're coming from? Really.. Well, where ARE you coming from?" his voice was yet again cold, this time etched with sarcasm as well.
" Tommy, just try to understand. Try and think of what it would be like for you, if you're signed with a management who doesn't like anything about you. Who wants you to change and will only give you a job if you do so, no matter how well you can sing or play. And then imagine that you're offered a job where you're told you DON'T have to change... not in the least bit, you can sing and write and compose, be yourself, and not sacrifice any morals or pride, only to find out that this new company is the same as your old one. And nothing at all is different. I'm being offered my dreams only to have them altered, offered again and then taken away..."
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
" Jude, I didn't KNOW that these people were doing this.."
" But if you did, would you have done something about it?"
" I will for you," he answered simply. But that wasn't what she wanted to hear.
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
" Tommy, you ARE like your company. That company IS you. You produce it, and before me, it was exactly to your liking, wasn't it ?"
He didn't answer, because truth be told, it WAS what he wanted. He didn't have to be committed to the place. He was successful, his productions were successful, and quite frankly he hadn't cared before what the workers did to make it a success. But he cared now, didn't that make up for something?
" It was, Tommy.. You can't deny it was all you'd ever wanted."
" Look, I won't deny that, because you know. And I know. And I won't lie to you. But I DO care now, and I want to change it, can't that count for anything? We're making a bigger deal out of this than it has to be. I'll make adjustments, and everything will be fine. It's simple."
" It's not simple! You're just not who I thought you were... Or, maybe you're exactly who I thought you were.." the last part came out as though she was finally realizing something; she was making a connection to a previous impression. To her first impression.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
" What do you mean?" his voice was defensive, and by her own tone, he had reason to be.
" Maybe, you're just who I thought you were. A huge pop-star.. a sex symbol and idol to millions of teenage girls worldwide, complete with a super male ego. THAT was my first impression of you, but after a few days, I thought maybe it was different. But it's not. It may be somewhat deeper, maybe a little more complex, but for the most part, that's you. It's who you are. And it didn't change, only your surroundings did..."
She could tell by the look on his face that he was stunned, obviously no one had ever been so bold or open but she had to find out where he stood. Who he really was. Was he just a famous singer, out to change the world, and his own life, one girl at a time? A successful producer, changing the image of all his clients to make even more money for himself? Or was he really who he now claimed to be? Did he care enough to change his former image rules and let her be a client with her own sense of style?
"Jude, I will admit that I was happy. I'll admit that all I cared about was my own success, and the success of the artists I produced. I did things I shouldn't have, I wasn't always fair, and I acted just as you suspected. I'm looked at as a sex symbol, and I ran with that.. But I'm also willing to change all of that. And I think I deserve a chance, and that you're the perfect person to help me change."
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
" Why me? I can't help you Tommy, I can't change you. What makes me different from the previous girls you've signed? What about the next naive girl you come across? I'm not different, because you don't let anyone be."
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
" You ARE different. I would have never been willing to sacrifice for anyone else. I never would have given anyone else options. But right now, all I can think about is you, and what you want. And what it will take to make you agree that I should be your producer, and you should be at that label, with me. Because I don't care what it takes. You can have it. I like you Jude, I'm sure that's obvious, and I don't only want you around as my client. I don't know if it's the situation we're in, or the fact that you're so uniquely different from anyone else I've ever met, but I feel a connection with you, and I've felt it since the beginning of this whole thing. I know the age thing is wrong, I know that my being yournew producermakes it even worse, but this is something I've never felt before, especially not in such a short amount of time. And I'm hoping, that mistakes I've made in the past, before I knew you, won't ruin my chances of changing, and being a better person. If not for myself, or other clients, then for you... Please just let me have a chance.."
And with that, he picked up the guitar he had taken with him, and asked her lyrically to forgive and forget. (Bolded words throughout the chapter!)
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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