Chapter Nine

She woke up in the Hospital Wing, she groaned she felt bad, like really bad. Her stomach hurt really bad and she felt like she had a fever, her hands weren't her hands, they were too big. She sat up and stared at her body, it didn't feel right, she was only fourteen, why did her body feel like this. There were things that weren't supposed to be there and she couldn't remember what happened last night. "Would you like some gum, I like gum." An old woman asked and passed her a piece of gum, she smiled and took it. She chewed it, blowing bubbles, laughing as they popped, it was nice but she missed someone, she couldn't remember who or why she did.

"Hello, what is your name?" She asked and the old woman frowned.

"I don't quite know dear, a nice man visits me sometimes, he says he's my son...My Neville is just a baby, what about you why are you here? Only the really bad cases of spell damage come here, you have been sleeping for a really long time. I don't know how long...Pretend to sleep someone is coming." She hissed and Roxie obeyed.

She heard footsteps by her bed and voices talking. "Such a shame, it's been nearly five years, such a singular talent and she couldn't handle what happened. Did you hear in the Daily Prophet, Leopold Knott is being scouted by the Bulgarian team, they say that he's a once in a generation talent."

Something sparked inside her head and she opened her eyes, it didn't seem like anyone would hurt her. "Hello?" She asked and they stared at her in shock. "Where's my Mummy and Daddy? Why am I alone, I shouldn't be alone."

"Bloody hell! Send for the masters, something seems to have worked, maybe it was the correct dosage." A healer said and then she was poked and prodded, she didn't like it much, but her Daddy told her to not argue with healers.

"Could you stop, I don't like that very much." She said and the healer frowned.

"Of course, anything for you Madam Knott, I'm happy that you are awake, what do you remember?" The healer asked and she frowned.

"My family and my friends, kind of, only it gets really fuzzy and then it's hard to focus." She said and frowned. "It's like I'm watching something on Auntie Hermione's tv."

"I see and how old are you?" The healer asked and she frowned.

"I'm not sure, I feel fourteen, but I know I'm older...Something bad happened didn't it, this was only when I did something bad. So I couldn't do more bad things, or maybe I just couldn't handle it."

"It's alright dear, would you like to see your family? Just your brother, your father and your mother."

"I want to see that boy you talked about, it feels like I love him. I don't know why though." She said and the healers nodded.

"That can be arranged, now be a good girl and drink your potions." The healer said and she nodded, she drank each of the potions in turn, wincing at the taste. The foggy memories became clearer and she only remembered really good memories. She liked feeling this happy, she didn't think she had ever really felt this happy before. There were many memories and they overlapped, but she knew that they were of her family, but there were others that were and were not.

"Roxie!" She was tackled by her brother and she laughed, as she fell back against the pillows.

"You are too old Freddy, you should be young, we should be young shouldn't we?" She asked and he sobbed, clutching onto her, bawling against her, her brother was beside himself. "Don't be sad, I feel happy really happy, like I should remember something, but can't." She said and smiled at him.

"Whatever you are trying to remember, give it time my girl." Her Dad said and she beamed at him.

"Daddy, you look so old, where am I?" She asked. "Did you bring Lucky, I want Lucky."

"We haven't had Lucky in years, we lost him remember, when we were five. He got away and then someone stepped on him, you cried."

"I don't remember that." She said and smiled at her brother. She hugged him and he smiled at her in return, hugging her back. It felt right to be held by him, to hold onto him too. She kissed him on the cheek and he rubbed at it.

"Sister spit." He muttered and she laughed, ruffling his hair. "So what do you remember."

"I'm not sure, I think I have the memories of two different people in my head, but only good memories. I think they were both very sad, but I'm just happy, I'm happy to see all of you." She said and they stared at her.

"Well can you feel sad, can you try to feel sad, think of the death of Lucille Knott." Her brother said and she frowned.

"That doesn't seem right silly, she never died, she just went to sleep and then we woke up together." She said and smiled at him brightly. "I like feeling like this, but I don't know who I was before."

"That's quite all right dear, can you try to do a spell?"

"What spell?" She asked and then came up with one, it was a spell to strengthen memory, she cast it and suddenly everything was clearer. She remembered every happy moment she'd ever had, but the faces around her changed as she grew. Sometimes it was her family and sometimes she had one name, sometimes she had another.

"Where are you going sister?" Freddy asked. "Please don't leave, what was that spell?"

"Mmm, it seems to have helped, I feel a bit better Freddy." She said and got up, the healers tried to stop her, but she ignored them. She had to figure out what to wear, she couldn't be late to this school year. "It's not my seventh year is it Freddy, we are older than that now aren't we?"

"Not so much older now, I can see why you would be confused, what spells do you remember?"

"A lot, but mostly healing ones, I don't know why." She said and shrugged. "I don't know who I was, before all this happened. I'm different now you know, different than I was, but I don't know who I am."

"That's okay, I don't really know who I am either, particularly without you little sister and whatever part of you I can have, I'll take."

"LET ME IN, LET ME SEE MY WIFE!" Someone was yelling angerly and then a man strode into the room, he was beautiful and dangerous at the same time. She could tell how sad he was too.

"Your wife? Who are you?" She asked and he crumpled in on himself and she suddenly knew who he was. He was her brother. "Si Li?" She asked and he stated at her

"Lucille, is that you, is some part of your memories stuck in my wife's head."

"I don't understand, I don't like that name though." She said and felt darkness overtake her, her thoughts going cloudy, before she felt anger and sadness, as well as the desire to hurt, to destroy to kill. She laughed, reaching for her wand, but it was taken away before she could take hold of it.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO, FIGHT IT, FIGHT THE DARKNESS LUCILLE, FIGHT BACK THE DARKNESS." Silas said and she fought against the anger, the hurt, the feeling that she would never be normal. That nothing would ever be right, she countered it with the joy she had felt a moment before, but she couldn't feel both at the same time. She felt only negative emotions, or only positive emotions.

"ROXANNE NYPHADORA WEASLEY, WE DON'T BACK DOWN FROM A FIGHT AND WE NEVER GIVE INTO THE SHADOWS." Her father yelled at her. "FIGHT BACK THE DARKNESS MY GIRL, FIGHT IT!" There was so much anger, so much pain and her magic had always been dark. It had been her greatest secret, that something was wrong with her magic, that it craved dark spells. She didn't care like she used to, but she didn't like the horror in her father's eyes.

"NO DON'T FIGHT IT MY LOVE, IT IS PART OF YOU, JOIN YOUR DARK MAGIC WITH YOUR LIGHT, PLEASE ROXANNE, OUR CHILDREN MISS YOU SO MUCH." He said and she felt something, a bit of memory at the back of her head, her babies, she must fight for them. The magic was hard to control, harder still to wrap around the lighter magic, but she thought of when she was small, when her Gran put sheers in her hand and asked her to help with the garden. Slowly she felt the power start to take shape, as she worked with it. Someone had put a shield charm over her bed, but she was able to get it so that everything felt like it was together at least. It felt nice in a way that it never had before, but the dark magic and the light magic were all mixed sucked the power back into her core and fell back into sleep.