At
The orphanage
Loracarol: At the orphanage Kagome is talking to
Miss Kagura about adopting Rin.
Kagura: Let me see if I herd you
right, Miss Secretary to the Sesshomaru, My Rin is going to be
adopted by your millionaire?
Kagome: Actually, he's a
billionaire and yes he's going to tell her tonight.
Kagura: Well
ain't she the lucky one?
Kagome: Yes. (Handing Miss Kagura a
paper) If you'd Just sign here.
Kagura: Sure. Would you excuse
me for one moment, please? (She leaves the stage) (Offstage, she
screams) (Re-enters) Now, where were we?
Loracarol:
Kagome hands her the paperwork, Miss Kagura signs it, and Kagome
leaves. On the way off stage, Naraku runs into Kagome.
Naraku: Oh,
pardon me, Blondie.
Loracarol: Naraku and Lily walk to the
orphanage and they walk in. Naraku walks in first)
Naraku: Hey,
sis.
Kagura: (Quietly) Oh no. (Louder) Gosh Naraku. It never
rains it pores.
Naraku: Glad to see me?
Kagura: Don't it
show? Did they let ya out of prison this time or did you
escape?
Naraku: I cut a deal with the warden. I got six months for
good behavior.
Kagura: (Smacks her lips) Rooster, you're the
only con I know who can con a cop.
Naraku: Thanks!
Kagura:
What for this time?
Naraku: Some old Geezer from Yonka said I
swindled him out of eleven hundred bucks.
Kagura: Oh, yeah. Why's
that?
Naraku: Just like I said. I swindled him out of eleven
hundred bucks. Hey, (Claps his hands once) (Lily walks in) meet my
new gal, from… (Snaps fingers trying to remember)
Lily: Jersey
City.
Naraku: Jersey City! Lily (Thinking of Lily's last name)
Lily…Lily…Lily…um— (Whispering to Lily) What was it again,
Honey?
Lily: St. Regis.
Naraku: Lily St. Regis!
Lily: Miss
Lily St. Regis, I'm named after the hotel.
Kagura: Oh, which
floor?
Naraku: (Puts his arm around Lily) Don't you Just love
her, sis?
Kagura: Yeah. I'm nuts about her.
Lily: Oh, real
nice place ya got here.
Kagura: Sure, everyday I get down on my
knees and pray. Why me?
Lily: Gee, I don't know.
Naraku:
(Rolls his eyes) Aye.
Kagura: Spill it, Rooster, what do ya
want?
Naraku: (Claps his hands once) Me and Lily was in the
neighborhood, I got 80 bucks coming in the mail on Thursday and I was
wondering um—ten bucks to tide me over?
Kagura: Ten bucks? I
ain't got ten cents. Rooster, do me a favor.
Naraku: What's
that?
Kagura: Get out and take the St. Regis here with you.
Lily:
Hey wait a minute! (She tries to get up but Naraku puts her back
down)
Naraku: Aw, c'mon, sis.
Kagura: Can it! You mean after
all your crooked schemes; all you've got is lint in your pockets.
You'll be living on Clover.
Naraku: (Laughs) Look who's
talkin'. This ain't exactly Buckingham Palace.
Kagura: I'm
doin' Just fine, thank you. I'm on the City. I got free food,
free gas, and electric. I'm doing perfect.
Naraku: Oh no, sis,
you're doin' like I'm doin'.
Lily: Lousy.
Naraku:
Kaggie, how come us Hannigans ended up with the fuzzy end of the
lollypop?
Hannigan. What do you mean?
Rooster. I mean, how the
two Hannigan kids end up like this…on the skits?
(Lily hugs her
boyfriend)
Naraku: I remember the way our sainted mother
(Does the sign of the cross) would sit and croon us a
lullaby.
Kagura: She'd say kids there's a place that's
like no other you gotta get there before you die.
Naraku: You don't get there by playin'
from the rule book.
Kagura: Uh-uh, you stack the aces.
Naraku: Mm-hmm, ya load the dice.
Naraku and Kagura: Mother dear, oh, we know you're
(They look down) down there, listenin'. How can we follow
your sweet advice to…
Naraku: Easy Street, Easy Street,
where ya (Lays on Lily's lap)sleep till noon.
Kagura:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Naraku: She'd
repeat ' its Easy Street'.
Kagura and Naraku: Better
get there soon!
Naraku: So, sis, who was the hot tomato on the
fancy car? Looked like she had a couple of dollars.
Kagura: Personal secretary to Sesshomaru.
Lily:
The Sesshomaru! The millionaire!
Kagura: No the billionaire, ya
dumb hotel! He lives on Fifth Avenue.
Naraku: Hey, Sesshomaru
don't live on Fifth Avenue.
Kagura: He don't? Then where does
he live?
All
three: Easy Street, Easy Street, where the rich folks
play!
Kagura: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Lily: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Naraku:
Move them feet!
All: To Easy Street! When ya get there,
when ya get there, when ya get there…stay!
Naraku:
So, sis, what did the secretary want?
Kagura: She tells me
Sesshomaru is gonna adopt Rin, this rotten orphan I despised, now the
lousy kid's gonna have everything.
Lily: It ain't fare!
Kagura: I know it ain't
fare.
Naraku: It ain't fare how we scrounge on three or four
bucks, while she gets more bucks.
Kagura: The little brat! (Pushes Lily) it ain't fare,
this here life is drivin' me nuts, while we get peanuts, she's
livin' fat.
Naraku: (Slowly)
Maybe she holds the key, this little lady.
Lily: To gettin'
more bucks.
Kagura: Instead of less.
Loracarol: All three laugh.
Naraku: (Slowly) Maybe we fix the game with
somethin' (Creepy speaking) shady.
Lily: Where would that put us?
Kagura: Ah, tell
her.
Naraku: Give you one guess.
All: YES! Easy
Street, Easy Street, Rin is the key.
Kagura: Yes, siree!
Naraku: Yes, siree!
Lily: Yes,
siree!
Loracarol:
They dance all around the streets.
All: Easy Street, Easy
Street, that's where we're gonna be! Easy Street, Easy Street,
that's where we're gonna be!
Loracarol: Naraku poses by holding Lily in his arms.
