Chapter Ten

When next she awoke it was to the sound of crying, a ten-year-old was sobbing in a chair next to her. "Mummy?" The little girl asked and Roxie smiled and opened her eyes, looking at the child.

"Hello, is your name Lucille?" She asked and the child beamed, nodding. "Are you my little Lulu? You have grown to be so big." She said and the girl climbed into the small hospital bed, wrapping herself around Roxie, she smiled and stroked the child's hair as the little girl cried and clung to her. She smiled, casting an illusion that made light dance against the walls, it was pretty but no prettier than the girl in her arms. Lulu fell asleep against her, snoring somewhat loudly and drooling on her shirt. She laughed and kissed the top of the child's head.

"Mum?" A young man stood in the doorway, he had Slytherin robes on and she smiled at him.

"What is your name?" She asked, because she knew she had two sons, but she couldn't quite remember their names.

"I'm Leo Mummy, don't you remember me?" He asked and she felt flashes of memories, happy memories of when this boy had been a baby.

"Now how could I ever forget you Leo, where is your brother? Is his name Lou?" She asked and the boy's eyes filled with tears, he ran towards her. "You don't want to wake your sister, such a pretty girl she's become." She said and smiled at her son. "Climb into bed behind me, I'll try to readjust without waking her." She moved to her side and a moment later, arms wrapped around her and she sighed. This felt nice, this felt right, she smiled and sang a song she remembered from when she was young.

The boy relaxed against her, before he started snoring as well, they must be very tired, her children. She wanted to get up, yet at the same time she didn't want to move. A healer came into the room, their eyes filled with tears and she smiled at them. "Good evening, or is its early morning?"

"It's eight in the morning, most of your family has been waiting all night to see you. We only let a couple in at a time though, we can't have the hospital get too crowded. Here Madam Knott, it's for your memories, it took three years to crack your boxes and another two to figure out what we needed from them. Of course we had to avoid you and your children as well." The healer said and she nodded, she was given the potion and she slowly sat up to drink it. She gulped it down and drank the glass of lemonade the healer gave her next. Although potions really tasted bad, she found that lemonade often got the bad taste out, without ruining the effect.

She yawned and stretched, before she moved out of the bed, she felt weak, but not so weak she couldn't walk. "You shouldn't be out of bed Madam Knott." The healer said and she raised a single eyebrow at the healer.

"I find I don't care what you think, about what I should, or shouldn't do." She said and the healer smiled.

"You seem to be getting some of your spirit back, which is very good, it's a very good sign indeed." The healer said and she smiled at him, before she strode forward. She knew the way and she found it easily enough, she'd been in this waiting room a lot as a child. To say their family had a tendency towards injuring themselves, or having others hurt them would be an understatement. Mostly it had been her Uncle Harry, or her Uncle Ron, but sometimes one of her Dad's potions had gone wrong, or Uncle Bill got bit by another dragon.

She was knocked off her feet the moment she entered the room and she laughed, as she was held up by her cousins and her brother. Her husband watched as her family hugged her and talked all at once, which was impossible to follow. She laughed and cast a charm to make her body heavier, so she wasn't swaying on her feet. So many questions came at her all at once, she had no ability to answer them, instead she saw her son and wrapped her arms around him, as the rest of her family hugged her. This was family this was everything to her and they were all fine, more than fine they were happy and their happiness was always more important to her, than her own.

She smiled, it was good to not feel that pain she'd felt all her life, good to just be happy, even if she had lost part of herself. That didn't mean that she couldn't see those memories again, that she couldn't remember her life, if she wanted to. She just didn't want to, it was as simple as that, she'd rather remember them as they were now, rather than as they had been.

"Little Grand Niece, we have a gift for you." Gideon said and held out a box teasingly. She grabbed it and opened it, inside there was a vial, a single vial of memories.

"Why?" She asked. "I don't understand."

"These are all the good memories, we all have of our family and of you, we always have to take the good with the bad. I'm so sorry my sister, sorry I didn't see the darkness in you sooner."

"It wasn't for you to see my shadows, they were my own." She said and hesitated for only a moment, before she let the memories flow into her head. It was like every spell she had cast, every prank she had pulled, every bit of laughter and joy was in that bottle. There were more and more memories and she loved every one of them, because the memories helped her to recall her own memories. Of laughter and fun, of growing up surrounded by a family who loved her and the innocent notion that they would love her, no matter what. At eight she had start to know about the nature of her magic, at twelve she had finally given in and started to practice darker spells. Now she was grown, she wasn't sure how much time had gone by, but it felt like years and no time at all.

She smiled at her husband who sat stiffly in his chair, watching the chaos around him and smiled, moving out of their hold, she stood beside him. "Hello Silas, sorry I went away, it was just too much...It was all too much, I knew my mind was slipping, but I couldn't tell you why I had to go. There was no time, I should never have gone into that pensive, I felt everything she was and my own memories and the grief of it, the pain of it. I wish I had never gone into those memories, but I did."

"It's alright love, I understand, I missed you but I understand and you are going to be better now. They promised that you would be better, they promised that you would be here with me again, not as you were. I'd rather have a little bit of you, than lose you to madness, you are part black aren't you?"

"All Weasleys are part black, as are the Johnsons, it was a random twist of fate that I should be born with that darkness." She said and smiled at him, she saw a man standing off to the side and smiled at him as well.

"I know one who is like me and you are more like me and my brother than you will ever know. You saved our world, you saved our family and more than that, magic will grow because of you. Without you, children who grow up now, would never have been born, you are a wonder and so very beautiful. Do not hide from your darkness girl, embrace it. Just don't let the shadows claim you, that's what all our family has to struggle against." He said and she stared at him wide eyed.

"Regulas?" She asked and he beamed at her, before tipping his hat.

"Yes and no, they couldn't bring back my brother, but he filled a pensive with his memories and I was forced to feel everything he felt. Forced to know everything he knew, it was not pleasant, but I needed it, to be fully who I am meant to be. You didn't need to see Lucille Knott's memories, you chose that, once you made that decision, it could not be undone. The black family has always had a gift for memory magic, as well as causing others pain, but you seem to have a different sort of magic. You have that darkness in you, but your family was a light family and the way they cast magic around you, brought out this entirely different side of you."

"I'm not sure about that, I'm not sure about anything." She said and smiled at him, it was true, she was uncertain of what the future would hold, but she found that it didn't matter. She had her friends, she had her family and she had her children and her husband. What more could a witch ask for, the rest would come in time, or if she never regained her full memories, at least she knew that those that loved her would always love her. What more than that could there be, what more could she want.