Hehe. Back again! It's never ending! I never leave! Oh well. Deal with it. It is the only way you get my writing! Thanks for the review so far. They are so so so appreciated. They make me happy, and they make my day so much better. I am now at my grandmother's place of work, where I have just spent the last 6 hours helping transport my sister and my little brother around town and helping sort paperwork. I hate it. I have four paper cuts now, and like all paper cuts, they hurt. Sorry about the complaining but that is what you get for wanting to read my fic. Plus I know that half of you have just decided to skip over this lovely little paragraph. Shame on you! And that was pointless because those of you that I am directing that towards didn't even read it. Yada yada yada. the end. And I would also like to point out the fact that I wasn't going to update today; I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I am a nice person. So I expect to see a "Thank you Ducky!" somewhere in all of your reviews.
Disclaimer: I have NEVER owned a thing. If I did, I would not be putting my talents to use by writing this fic? I didn't think so.
Chapter 3: Rapists, and Sex Tales, and Coffee, Oh My!
"There, all dressed! Now hand over that child!" Lorelai exclaimed as she ran down the stairs fully clothed this time.
Luke was sitting on the couch watching Jake crawl around on the floor.
Jake had been stopping whenever he found something interesting to look at. He had just been looking up at the mirror on the wall with the light and the closet doors in the reflection. The moment he heard his mother he turned his head to look to see if his speculations had been true.
"He's over there." Luke said sitting back and pointing towards Jakes current position. He was still surprised at how much work it was to keep a 7 month old child out of trouble. He had had to get up almost every 3 minutes to either stop Jake from escaping into the kitchen or chewing on something that no mouth belongs on; the last thing had been one of Lorelai's sneakers (which were just there in case of emergency and no other reason.).
"Oh! Look at you!" Lorelai exclaimed in a baby voice as she bent down and held out her arms towards Jake. He quickly giggled at his mother and then crawled over to her. He tried to stand by pulling at her legs but had not yet mastered that skill, so Lorelai picked him up. She quickly kissed him on his nose. Luke smiled in the background as he watched two out of the three most important things in his life.
"Was daddy mean to you when he didn't let you chew the shoe?" she asked him Jake in a baby voice.
"Hey! How in the world do you know these things? First this morning with him crying while you were in the shower, and now the shoe thing!" Luke exclaimed.
"Hun, there are these remarkable devices called baby monitors, and I believe that humans are still born with ears." she said in a tone that said: 'you should know this by now.' "I heard him crying through the baby monitor and I heard you say 'don't chew on mommy's shoe' you were so loud that Babette could have heard you!" Lorelai said while laughing as if everything was obvious. Not to Luke apparently.
"Ok! Why don't we just go then?" Lorelai said trying to fill in the awkward silence that had filled the room. Luke still had a confused look on his face but he immediately replaced it with a smile.
"Ok, I will get the bag." Luke said as he walked over to Rory's room to retrieve the sacred, magical diaper bag that held everything a baby would ever need.
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"Luke!" Lorelai yelled into the kitchen. They had been at the diner for only twenty minutes and Lorelai had to go. "Luke? I have to go so come say goodbye to your son!" she yelled even louder.
"Hunny he went upstairs to get something while you were in the bathroom." Miss Patty chimed in.
"Oh, ok. Would you mind watching Jake for a second while I go find the big strong hunky diner owner of mine?" Lorelai asked.
"Not at all! But if he is naked up there could you take some pictures?" Miss Patty asked enthusiastically as she yanked Jake from his car seat.
"Ok Patty I will!" Lorelai agreed as she headed for the stairs to the apartment. Miss Patty never ceased to amaze her.
As she entered the apartment she found Luke tossing things left and right looking for something. "Hey diner man! What ya looking for?" she asked.
"My wallet!" he asked frustrated.
"Then what would it be doing in the box of" she started trying to see what the box was labeled. "A box of cleaning products?" she finished.
"What? Oh, I don't know!" Luke answered throwing his hands up in the air in defeat.
"Hey hun, would it possibly be on the counter?" Lorelai said as she picked up the wallet that was laying right next to the sink.
"What! How could I have missed that?" he said calming down as he walked over to Lorelai. He reached for the wallet but she pulled it out of his reach and held it behind her back.
"First mister, I want something." she said smiling. Luke smiled back and leaned down for a kiss. He started it out as just a simple peck on the lips but then Lorelai induced a mutation. And it became more passionate. Luke wrapped one arm over her shoulder and the other around her waist where it pulled her closer. Lorelai dropped the wallet and reached both arms around Luke's neck. Luke slowly walked backwards leading Lorelai to the bed that still lay in the apartment.
"Luke, we can't." Lorelai said pulling back. She saw the confused look on his face. "I mean we can't do this now. I have to get to the inn and you have to…you have to get back to the diner. Patty has probably already suffocated our son with her boobs." she laughed as she stepped back. She walked over to the table where the wallet had been dropped. She tossed it at him. "Here's your wallet. Let's go downstairs so you can say goodbye to Jake and give me more coffee!" she said enthusiastically as she walked over to him. She dragged him by his arms over to the door. "Come on! Just a few more hours and I'm yours! Maybe Kirk will throw a fit like the other day! And then you will have Miss Patty grabbing your ass again! You can't tell me that wasn't fun?" she said as she smiled at him.
"That was not fun. At all! I mean she practically raped me!" Luke started to go on one of his rants. "I mean isn't that illegal? The woman has enough fun with every other man on earth! Why can't she just leave me alone?" Luke continued.
"Because you are just so irresistible!" Lorelai piped in. "wait till Jake is older! Boy will Miss Patty have fun with him if looks anything like you!" Lorelai teased knowing it would only continue Luke's rant.
"Oh my god! She is not touching my son! It is bad enough that she harasses me! But that is sickening!"
"And she will probably start when he hits puberty." Lorelai added.
"Oh geez! And that will be in like ten years! He will be like eleven or twelve! That is not right! Statutory rape even! Someone has got to stop her!" Luke concluded.
"I love ranting Luke. He is so much fun!" Lorelai said laughing and smiling. Luke rolled his eyes and exited the apartment, dragging Lorelai along with him.
"Bring ranting Luke back! I want my ranty Luke!" she argued fakingly and hitting Luke playfully as he dragged her down the stairs.
"Fine! If I give up will you let me go and give me some coffee?" she asked.
"Yes and no." he answered. He let go of her but she just stood there.
"Coffee Luke! Give me coffee! I will steal it if I have to! I will go behind the counter if I have to but I shall have my coffee! Now gimme!" She begged like a little child.
"no." he said with a smile on his face.
"Please Luke? For my sanity, for my well being, for your son!"
"How will coffee help my son?" he asked.
"Well, uh…it will…damn! But it does benefit him! I swear! Luke now please give me the coffee! Please!" she begged. She then leaned in towards him. "I will beg and plead all you want tonight if you just give me one cup of your wonderful coffee!" she whispered in his ear. Luke smiled at her.
"One, and then you leave."
"Fine! But I want a scone!" she said.
"We don't have any scones." he pointed out.
"Well then make some! You know, you do owe me." she said.
"For what?"
"Well the other day, when it was one in the morning and Jake was screaming at the top of his lungs because of his fever, you wouldn't get up so I had to." she said.
"As I remember correctly, I had to get up about two hours later only I faced more pain in the actual process." he said.
"That was an accident!" she said as she remembered what had happened.
"Luke! Get up! It's your turn and he is your son too!" Lorelai muffled voice complained as she lay in bed with her face down in her pillow. Jake had been whining for 15 minutes straight. "Get up!" she said as she went to nudge him with her foot, but she ended up kicking him hard, and in between the legs.
"Ow! What the hell!" Luke winced in pain.
"Oh god! Luke! Are you ok?" she got up to see what was wrong. She knew what was wrong right away--he was now clutching his privates-- so to say--in pain. "I am so sorry!" she said trying to hold in her laughter. Well that certainly had gotten him up.
"No you aren't!" Luke said only able to get those words out.
"Here let me help!" Lorelai said trying to hug him.
"No! You have done enough. Ah!" Luke said as he moved away from her and fell off the bed.
"Oh my god! Luke!" Lorelai scrambled to the side of the bed to look down on him.
"Why the hell did this have to happen to me?" Luke sighed. This time Lorelai couldn't hold in her laughter.
"And laughing about it made it all better now did it?" he asked.
"No! Luke you know I didn't mean for that to happen! Damaging the goods gets me no where so I actually had a reason to avoid that!" she joked.
"Oh geez! Stop there!" he said as he walked behind the counter to get her coffee.
"Oh, well you know it wouldn't be so good for you either. Can you imagine you not getting any--"Lorelai started.
"Stop right there! There will be no discussion of our lives in the bedroom!" Luke warned.
"Oh, but Miss Patty likes It." she teased and then turned to Miss Patty. "Don't you Patty?" she asked.
"Well it does paint a lovely picture dear." she responded with a smile.
"Oh geez!" Luke held out the to-go cup for Lorelai to take. "Now take the coffee and go! Far away!" he said to Lorelai. She took the coffee, picked up the diaper bag, and grabbed Jake from Miss Patty.
"Oh! Jakey! Did you hear that? Daddy doesn't love us any more!" she said in a baby voice. Luke walked over to Lorelai and Jake.
"I do love Jake, but your place on the scale of hate to love is now somewhat unknown." he said smiling. He kissed Jake on the head and then gave Lorelai a quick peck on the lips.
"Bye." he said.
"Bye darling dearest lover! Bye Patty, Kirk, Andrew, and all you other guys who just love hearing my stories. I always love an audience!" she yelled as she walked out the door. Everyone who didn't know Lorelai just stared at her as if she was heading to turn herself back into the insanity ward. The door bell rang and Luke sighed. The song from snow white was still running through his head from the previous night.
"Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go! Dun dun dun dun! Dun dun dun dun! Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho!" Lorelai sang as she walked through the front door carrying only Jake in her arms. "Lukey! Lukey! I know you are here! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" she yelled through out the house as she set down her purse and removed her shoes.
"Lorelai? What are you singing?" Luke said coming in from the kitchen. He removed Jake from the arms of his beautiful girlfriend. It was strange. He hadn't thought about that until now. It felt strange that they had a seven month old son but yet they weren't married or even engaged for that matter. Being engaged wouldn't be a bad idea, he thought to himself.
"What! You have never seen snow white and the seven dwarves? You are worse than I thought! What have you been doing will all of your spare time? Eating? Sleeping? Living a normal life?" she asked in astonishment.
"Actually yes." Luke answered.
"Ah, well you are forgiven. But we are watching it tonight! And it's animated too!" she said excitedly.
"Oh no!" he complained. He had never really hated it though. He had always enjoyed it because Lorelai was there. Luke loved the feeling that she was his to love forever. But then once the movie ended, the uncertainty of her loving him back returned. He could never seem to get that feeling out of the pit of his stomach that maybe she deserved better and that he was holding her back.
The funny thing was that she felt the exact same way. She felt as if maybe his love was too good for her. Maybe he was being teased with thoughts of her when she wasn't even sure if she was worthy of him. Sure he may feel infatuated now, but it doesn't mean that she was the best that Luke could get. If only that uncertainty would leave both of their hearts, then they could try and get over the hurdle of truly trusting each other.
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Yah! Another good chapter! I think. So, please review. Tell me, did you like the Flashbacks? Were they too random? I tried to fit some humor in here to make up for the lack of it in my other fic. Review or I will send my angry mob after you, and I warn you, they have pitchforks and torches. Sounds fun, huh? Plus, if that doesn't scare you, remember I have killer penguins and mute garden gnomes. Please tell me what you like about this, or what you didn't, depending on your opinion of this chapter. Please do not just say, "I hate it!" or "I love it, update soon.".
Every time you review, you save the life of a duck. For my sake and peace of mind, save that duck by reviewing. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! And I only received four reviews for the last chapter. I expect more this time!
