Disclaimer: How could I own anything; everyone steals everything I actually do own anyway.

Disclaim them: Better watch out for those "loose screws."

Note: Draco, Lucius, and Harry are acting OOC

"speech" 'thoughts' /Draco's thoughts/

Also, thanks to all current reviewers, it makes the day a bit more pleasant for myself knowing people care and whatnot.

I'm REALLY sorry I wasn't able to update. My computer crashed…what a mess.

Chapter 4: Always in circles

He could hear a voice, but not very loudly. Almost as if he was underwater… It was oddly familiar but still, he couldn't exactly place it. It called for Draco to come back and to desert the approaching darkness that nearly threatened to suffocate him.

Draco opened his eyes to bright light filtering through the windows of the room and he shied away from it, sinking deeper into the bed's blankets. But just as soon as he did that, there came the eerie sensation that he was being watched. The blonde sat up quickly and saw the last person he wanted to see in the entire world.

There was a smile. "Hello, Draco. Would you mind if I were to ask what happened to you?"

Draco grimaced as he lay against the pillows, unusually tensed. "Yes, I mind.

You, of all people, come to see me when I happen to be conveniently indisposed? Why does the world hate me so much that it makes me suffer so?"

"That is no way to greet a friend, Draco. I'm almost offended by your hostile behavior." The boy brushed away an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Potter, we are not friends and we never were. I'd appreciate if you left my room; you're already giving me a headache." Draco turned over on his side, facing away from The-Boy-Who-Lived.

"Sorry, well not really, but I can't do that." Harry moved towards the windows and looked down at the grounds.

"I won't even ask why, considering the fact that I almost never get a straight answer from you now a days when I do have the rare chance to talk to you." The blonde shifted his position in the bed so he faced Harry once again. "However, may I ask how you got into my house? What did you do, scale the wall, because I wouldn't put it past you."

"Well, no. Although that probably would have been fairly…interesting, I came in through the front door like a civilized person. As a matter of fact, your father happened to invite us in. Is that really so bad?" There was a pause where Draco happened to mutter something very rude and indecent. "See, you know it isn't. You said you wanted to know why I was here. Well, Tom needed to talk to your father about something regarding a new mission of some sort. I think it was about supposedly breaking into my house and making it appear that we have a spy causing a disruption in the fragile peace the Light has created for itself. I, of course, will be Stunned after fighting dramatically outnumbered forces and have no recollection of the whole event." Harry smiled to himself.

"That's nice and all, but I wish I could join you on wreaking havoc on Dumbledore's pathetic excuse for an army. But father won't let me do that though. He thinks I'll just screw everything up."

"He said that to you?"

"Not exactly, but I know he was thinking it."

"But thinking isn't the same thing as actually saying something."

"I…guess it isn't. But he always tells me that I am incompetent and worthless, like I have no value or anything."

"All parents care for their children in some way shape or from."

"Who are you to be giving advice on parents, yours are dead." Draco paused. "No offense meant."

"None taken. You are right about me criticizing you though. I never had anyone to care about me until just recently so what could I know about how parents show their affection?" The raven-haired boy sighed to himself and came back by the bed ending up sitting on the edge of it. Draco said nothing towards this act.

"But you are wrong about one thing. Your father told me-"

"Harry, where are you, we are leaving now." A voice called down the hallway reaching into the room.

"Well, bye. I think I might see you soon." Harry smiled a small, genuine smile.

"Wait, what did my father tell you? Tell me!" Draco threw the bedcovers off his legs.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll tell you when I next see you, but you might already know by then.

"Wait, please tell me!" But Harry was already gone out the door, his robes flying away from him in his wake.

A little later, after the blond had woken up from another brief rest he had taken and was halfway between a waking consciousness and slumber, he heard the door open and a minute later felt the mattress move to accustom someone's weight.

"I thought you had left. You had better not be poking around my house and going through my family's things."

"You speak that way to your father, Draco?"

"…Father?" The boy shifted on the bed and found Lucius sitting close enough for Draco to reach out and touch. Lucius smirked at his son's almost stupefied expression and reached forward and grasped a fistful of the boy's white blond hair and yanked hard, causing a soft cry.

"Now, now, let's not act like a child, Draco. You're all grown up. But then again, you'll always be daddy's little boy, won't you?'"

The pulling of Draco's hair had caused him to be facing downwards on the bedspread and in his opinion, a very vulnerable position to be in with his father.

"You know," Lucius started speaking again after a few moments of staring at the back of the younger Malfoy's head. "I think that you thought that I wouldn't find out about the things you were doing and what was happening. I almost believed that it was because of…her death that you started…those things. But then I realize that there was no cause for that kind of behavior since you didn't care about…her."

Draco managed to turn his head a little despite the grip Lucius continued to exert on him. "Just say it, Narcissa, that I didn't care about Narcissa, but not mother, since you didn't really believe her to actually be a proper mother, her being a whore in all-"

"-And bringing all those other men into my house whom I should have then killed the moment they entered the premises, and also beat her soundly as well, now that I start to think of it…We're veering off topic though. The reason I came here in the first place was because I would like to know why someone has resorted to inducing self harm upon one's self."

"Where'd you hear that? I don't do that kind of things father. I don't want to disappoint you in any way, you know that." Draco attempted to look innocent but just knew deep down that his father knew. He goddamn knew. /Got to think fast, have to come up with an excuse, how'd he find out, oh he's going to punish me again.../

"Draco, I found the razors in your bathroom drawers and an assortment of hidden knives scattered throughout this room after you left from winter break."

The silence that followed that sentence seemed to stretch on for an endless eternity.

"I…" Draco whispered softly.

"Yes?" Lucius raised an eyebrow expectantly.

And then he couldn't take it anymore. The fragile world he had built for himself was crumbling at the seams right before his eyes. His father probed at him, way too far in for him to dispel giving Lucius the opportunity to wear him down with a patience that always appeared to have no breaking point. Just tell him, get it over with. Let him beat him; he didn't want to care anymore. Never did, so why had he tried so hard to please? "I don't know why I did it! You always want an answer and this time I don't know why! Whether or not it was from her, I wouldn't know. Maybe it's just because I didn't want to hear your lectures about how I would never amount to anything and how I was a disgrace to the Malfoy family na-"

The slap ricocheted off the room's walls making an odd sort of ringing sound that hurt Draco's ears while the boy himself keeled over with the force of the blow.

" Shut up." These two words were uttered with a quiet, mad, violence that made the younger forget the numbing sensation in his cheek momentarily.

Lucius walked over to Draco and yanked him to his feet. "You forget your place, boy."

An obscure giggle escaped Draco's mouth after that statement and as a result, Lucius raised his hand and struck him, causing him to fall down again. "You find this funny, do you?"

Draco had to struggle to get the words out as his throat was choked with unresolved laughter. " No sir, it's just that when you say I forget my "place", what "place" would that be? I didn't know I had one in this, what do you call it… family. That's it, family. It was always just you, and I also think mother, but that's being too generous. That is, unless you are counting house elves, that which I highly doubt." Lucius' fist connected with Draco's stomach and it was a few minutes before he could breathe properly again.

"I love you, did you know that? You probably didn't… I only try to do my best for you. It's only been for you because you were the only one whom there's been to please and whom never thought I was good enough in any way. So I tried harder. Just for you and only you. " Draco gave a sort of half sob, half laugh as Lucius struck, and then released him causing Draco to tumble to the floor in a pitiful heap.

Draco staggered to his feet and ungracefully attached himself to Lucius' robes and maneuvered himself so his mouth was close to his father's ear. The older wizard had appeared to freeze in place. "Why don't you put an end to both our sufferings and just kill me now, like you did mother?" The boy had started to act hysterical. Too much pressure had been exerted on his emotions that had already been on the brink of collapsing sooner or later. Better sooner than later.

Draco drew himself away from his father when he heard that sharp intake of breath. "Yes, that's right. I know. You always think I'm dimwitted and have no idea of what's going on, but I'm not that much of an idiot to not pay attention to my surroundings."

The boy backed farther away from a father who had a face that could have been chipped from ice and inched closer to the door. "I saw you kill her." He turned his body towards Lucius as he pulled a paper-thin dagger from the folds of his robes that he had concealed the day before.

Lucius' lips thinned into a narrow line. "It was necessary."

"Necessary." The word was spoken with an unhidden sarcasm and the knife played between fingers, weaving in and out through them with an experienced manner.

"She betrayed me." Lucius watched warily as Draco appeared to examine the edge of the blade, and then purposefully slit a shallow wound on his palm without saying anything. The boy smiled maniacally as the blood began to drip off his palm and onto the oak floor, staining it rich red.

"……" The adrenaline rush had suddenly cooled down and Draco had tired again. The knife slid to his side.

"What's happening to you? Are you on wizard's drugs again? You remember what happened the last time you took them and what I did, don't you?" The brash tone made the once simple statement become threatening.

The boy cringed inwardly. "No, I'm not on drugs…I'm just tired."

"It appears you've been tired a lot lately…for that reason, I think I'll punish you later. I'd rather you be awake for my punishment." The wizard smiled a predatory smile.

Lucius was in front of him; pulling the knife out of his hand, and began gently guiding him out of the room and down the hall, and Draco had absolutely no idea how that came to be.

The older Malfoy pulled the doors of his room open as he reached them and tugged Draco inside. He then locked them shut.

He led the boy to his bed. "Lie down, I'm coming back." Draco lay down as requested and his father left the room for a few minutes and then returned. He pulled up the covers of the bed and slid Draco under them.

The boy was frightened and tensed to a painful level, feeling that all this had been another trick of his mind. "Father…."

"Shhh…it's all right."

"But why…? This is wrong. You don't like me. Why are you doing this? I don't-"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. Just go to sleep." He curled up against Draco's back and wrapped his arms around him. The younger Malfoy shivered involuntarily and for some odd instinctive reason, ended up molding himself to his father's figure. He eventually fell asleep.

Lucius lay there for hours, staring at the back of his son's head and listening to the soft sound of his breathing, unable to calm his restless mind and sleep like his son.

Blank: This chapter makes absolutely no sense. Let me know what you think since my opinion doesn't count, not ever. Oh, and the out of character deal with Lucius will be explained in next chapter, for those who were wondering why Lucius didn't give Draco a solid thrashing for that absolutely outrageous behavior. He deserved it, didn't he?