It's a fun life on a boat
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "I feel trembly, oh so shaky, I've had whiskey and vodka and gin"
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Chapter 6 – Mind games
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Remy and Sabertooth had spent a rather large amount of their time chasing Jason around. Unfortunately, Jason was getting increasingly drunker as the night wore on, and thus a lot harder to catch. After an incident which involved a game of 'peanut football', the illusionist had used his powers to vanish, causing Sabertooth to resort to tracking him by nose.
"We're really lucky his illusions don't mask scent", said Remy.
"…..You mean I'm lucky", retorted Sabertooth, "you don't even sniff or anything"
"That's because I….."
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Bananaphone
Remy blinked, then looked at Sabertooth.
"Where's dat music coming from?"
Sabertooth looked at him as if he's grown another head.
"What music?" (1)
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Bananaphone
"Dat music", said Remy.
"I don't hear any music", said Sabertooth, "an' I'm the one with enhanced senses"
Fear suddenly crossed Remy's face.
"He's screwing with my head!", he screamed
I've got this feeling, so appealing
For us to get together and sing, sing!
Remy whimpered, holding his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up"
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Bananaphone
"Hey….you okay, man?", blinked Sabertooth, as Remy started banging his head against the wall.
"Make it stop!", whimpered Remy, "MAKE IT STOP!"
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong, ding doanaphone
"ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"
Sabertooth arched a brow as Remy started rolling around on the floor.
"Oh, stop bein' such a drama queen", he said, stalking off, "if ya didn't want ta do the work, ya could have just said so"
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Elsewhere on the ship, Piotr was slowly regaining consciousness. His vision was a bit fuzzy at first, and the rather nasty churning of his stomach was still there, though a little less nasty…probably because he hadn't eaten in hours.
"Oh, my aching…."
He paused in mid sentence, his vision becoming clear, focusing on what looked like a cuddly giraffe. Piotr blinked, shifting his head for a better view. As he did this, a cuddly weasel fell off his head, landing in front of him. Further investigation proved he was surrounded, and covered with, small, cuddly animals.
"Oh, you're awake", grinned Pyro maniacally, as if he grinned in any other way.
Piotr blinked at the furry things around him, then at Pyro.
"Wha?", he said, then tried to process his thoughts a bit better, "St.John, what is going on?"
"Well, duh! It's a beanie baby crime ring", said Pyro, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world ever
Piotr blinked again.
"…..Oh…..kay"
Pyro gave a frustrated sigh.
"Do ya know how much these babies are worth on EBay?", he asked, "a lot, that's how much. With all of these, I'll be a millionaire. I might even be able to buy me that volcano I always wanted"
He gave an excited giggle.
"Oh man, that would be so ripper!", he said, rubbing his hands together, "my own private volcano!"
Piotr frowned.
"….Where did you get all of these things?"
"Oh, I stole 'em from the gift shop", said Pyro, then considered, "and a few kids"
"You stole from children?", asked Piotr disapprovingly, "you are worse than Remy"
"I am not!", said Pyro, "it's going to be for the kids in the end"
Piotr frowned, trying to fathom this, and not having any luck.
"…..How?"
"I'll let them play in my volcano", said Pyro with a nod, "for free"
Piotr arched a brow.
"You are going to let small children play in an active volcano?"
"For free", added Pyro.
"It's ingenious", said Piotr sarcastically, "you are a real humanitarian"
"Why, thank you, Peety", smiled Pyro, "you can run it with me if you like"
"…..I think I will pass", said Piotr, lying back down.
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Meanwhile, sure that his team could deal with Jason, Magneto was relaxing by the pool. Well, that's what this cruise was for, after all. Him getting a break. Maybe he should have put the Acolytes in the cattery, it would have been easier for him.
"Free the oranges!"
Magneto only had time to blink before a cascade of oranges rained down from the upper deck, falling into the pool like giant citrusy hailstones. The other guests relaxing by the pool screamed indignantly as they were covered in water, or worse, had an orange land on their head. Magneto frowned, looking up as Sabertooth rugby tackled Jason to the ground on the upper deck.
"Who on earth are those hoodlums?", muttered one guy.
"No idea", lied Magneto smoothly, "people like that should be locked away"
I heard that, bucket head. Oooooh you're not wearing your bucket, are you? Someone's not shielded from telepathy, are they?
"Oh……crap", said Magneto, "ummm..Jason, you don't want to do this…"
Oh, but I DO
"Victor, for the love of all that is decent, do something!", snapped Magneto.
There was a rather loud thunk sound, before Sabertooth jumped down form the upper deck, and unconscious Jason slung over his shoulder.
"I knocked him out good, boss", he said.
"Good cat", said Magneto, fishing a small ball out of his pocket and tossing it across the deck, "there you go"
"SPARKLY BALL!", squealed Sabertooth in joy, dropping Jason and running after it.
Magneto watched him go in amusement then blinked.
"…..Damnit, I knew I should have given it him after he took Jason back"
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Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Bananaphone
Doop de doop de doop doop
Remy had gone back to his room, and was currently curled in a little ball on the bed, twitching. The song wouldn't go away, it wouldn't. He'd even tried his telepathic-go-away trick, and it hadn't worked. Jason had telepathically told him he didn't know Remy swung that way, and boy, did he have some weird tastes, and just played it louder.
Ping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pananaphone
The door slammed open as Magneto dragged Jason's unconscious form into the room, dumping him on his bed.
"He is seriously in trouble when he wakes up", said Magneto, then blinked at Remy, "what's wrong with you?"
It's no baloney
It 'aint a….
Remy blinked. It had gone. The song had gone! Oh, happy day!
Badger, badger, badger, badger
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
It was going to be a very long night
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(1) – Inspired by the flash cartoon, Bananaphone, using the lyrics of the song with the same name by Raffi. It's so very good. 'Hey, he's stopped twitching'.
Woot, another chapter done. Sorry it was so late, with uni coursework, I had to put that in priority. Do review. Until next time…
