Chapter V

To her own surprise, Donna finds herself telling Gretchen everything.

The older secretary had managed to bring her to the executive kitchen and gave her some cold water to calm her down. Donna was shaky on her legs, the attack having left her overly exhausted, and so Gretchen had intertwined her arm around hers in order to give her the support needed to make it out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

Donna was coaxed to a stool and handed a glass of water which she gladly took, letting the cool liquid soothe her dry throat and bring her out of her frenzy state. Gretchen patiently waited for her as she composed herself, never letting her out of her sight. Although Donna was glad the older woman had found her and managed to help her with the attack, she still felt awfully ashamed that someone had witnessed her in such terrible state. People are not used to seeing her lose it like that. She's supposed to be strong and confident, the one everyone can always count on; but right now, she doesn't have it in her to keep pretending anymore, and the only thing she can manage to do is avoiding the woman's gaze as best as she can.

After a couple of minutes spent in mere silence, Donna finally manages to feel more at ease, and she places the glass on the counter, being careful to control the slight trembling of her hand. She feels the way Gretchen's eyes follow her every movement, and the moment she looks back at her friend she can read the concern and urgency behind them. It's enough to get her to break down. She can't keep hiding anymore, she's tired and sick of pretending. The sob that's been caught in her throat finally breaks through and she can't help the waterfall of tears that run by her cheeks as she pours her heart out to Gretchen.

She tells her everything. From Faye's bullshit investigation to the damned memo, she's been threatening her with, going through the panic attacks, the overwhelming amount of work, the disordered eating, the headaches and the anxiety she's been dealing with ever since this whole hell started.

Gretchen listens calmly to every word Donna says and gives her the space needed to go through all the dark, hard truths she's kept secret. The only thing Donna doesn't go into much detail is about Lowenstein and when Gretchen asks further about it, she just explains that it was a bad experience, that it happened a long time ago and that she rather doesn't remember.

"Oh Red, you've been through so much it's no wonder you had a panic attack that bad," the black woman states after a short pause, as she squeezes Donna's hand back reassuringly, "is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, it's alright, you've already done more than enough," Donna shakes her head as she gives her a small, shy smile, that Gretchen copies with a nod. "Although I would prefer it if you could keep all of this between us," she adds in a quiet voice.

"No one will hear a word about this from me," the older woman reassures her, motioning her hand in front of her mouth as if closing a zipper and throwing away the key. She understands Donna's desire of wanting to keep her panic attacks private, but a burning question crosses her mind. "Donna, I know it's really none of my business, but I do have to ask-"

"What is it, Gretchen?"

"Have you told Harvey any of this?"

It's the question she feared the most, and she takes a deep breath, as she casts her gaze down.

"No. I haven't," she finally confesses.

"You need to tell him," Gretchen states matter-o-factly, leaving no space for questioning, but at the redhead's hesitation she sterns her voice, "Donna, you know he will understand."

Given the lawyer's own experience with panic attacks, Gretchen doesn't have a doubt he will be able to understand what his girlfriend is going through. Besides, she's sure Harvey won´t stay quiet until he puts a stop to the harassment and bullying Donna's been receiving from Faye and as far as she knows, that man is willing to do anything for the redhead. However, the uncertainty and fear that the COO's eyes convey might tell another story…

"I know…" Donna replies in the lowest of voices, "It's just…it took us a lot to get to where we are now, and sometimes I wish I could just build a shield around our relationship and protect it from the world around us. I guess I didn't want this to become something that interferes in our relationship," she bites her lip, trying to contain more tears from falling as she tries to explain the mess in her head. "I thought I had all of this under control, you know? But I guess it's clear I don't…and it has become this huge mess…I don't even know where to begin telling him any of this… It's so hard, I-", she doesn't even get to finish her sentence, breaking down as she bawls her eyes out.

"I get it Red, it's hard to have these kinds of conversations with your partner," the older woman pronounces once Donna calms down a bit, "but you, keeping this from him, is only doing more damage than whatever good you think there is to it."

"I guess you're right," she finally gives in, her mind already playing back the horrendous fight she had with him earlier that day. The older woman flashes her a warm smile and pulls her into an unexpected hug she didn't even know she needed. She welcomes the gesture and squeezes the woman hard letting the relief warm her soul. God only knows how much in need of comfort she is.

"You know, you have a knack for giving great advice to everyone around you, but girl when it comes to yourself, you can be quite a pain in the ass," Gretchen states, releasing her grip, an attempt not only to lighten the mood, but to make her realize how detrimental this kind of behavior is to herself.

"What can I say? It's the first rule on the book of Donna," she replies, a half chuckle erupting from her throat, but when Gretchen just stares her back, a serious frown on her face conveying the gravity of her earlier comment, Donna sobers her smile and simply states, "I'll tell Harvey."

"Tell Harvey what?" Louis' unceremonious voice interrupts them both as he makes his way into the executive kitchen, oblivious to the private moment the women were sharing.

"L-Louis," Donna blurts out. The mere sight of the man enough to make her feel conscious of the disheveled look she must be wearing, "do you happen to know if Harvey is in his office right now?" she tries to throw him off with the question.

"Actually no, I think he left for trial about half an hour ago," the balding man casually answers, making his way to the fridge to pour himself a glass of his infamous prunie, but stops mid-track when he looks back at the redhead and notices the nervous and upset expression she's sporting that immediately tells him there's something wrong. "Donna are you okay?" he dares to ask as he carefully approaches her.

"Damn it," Donna exclaims, totally dismissing his question as she rises from her seat in a swift motion. The rapid movement, though, makes her feel dizzy to the core and she finds herself pressing her hands hard against the countertop to keep herself from falling right then and there.

"God, Donna, be careful alright?" the man asks as he grabs Donna's hands, taking in some of her weight and coaxes her to sit down again. She blinks away the black spots that had clouded her vision, but the lightheadedness doesn't go away, and an overwhelming wave of exhaustion seems to take control of her body.

"Are you completely sure you're okay?" he repeats his question.

"I'm fine, Louis," she manages weakly after a shaky breath. The reassurance does little to appease his concerns; he surely doesn't miss on the sickly pallor of her face, her weak demeanor or the red rim of her eyes.

"You sure about that? You look like you've just seen a ghost, gosh you're even shaking!" he points out, his voice coming out in a higher pitch than intended.

Donna grimaces at his choice of words and throws Gretchen a worried glance. The older woman seems to pick up the cue, the redhead doesn't want to go through the trouble of telling Louis what really happened, and instead she takes the lead.

"It's okay Louis, Donna's just feeling a little bit under the weather," she quickly interjects, covering up the fact that Donna had a panic attack. The lawyer's ears shot up at the information and finds himself placing a hand on her clammy forehead that Donna quickly brushes away.

"Why didn't you say so, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I just felt a little dizzy. I'll be fine in a minute." The defeated posture she's wearing and the shaking hand that's supporting her head don't help her make her case at all.

"Why don't you go home, Donna?" She hears the lawyer propose, "you really don't seem to be in conditions to be working."

She shakes her head in a vigorous motion. "No, I can't, Faye wanted me to go through some paperwork and I'm supposed to be reviewing the budget proposal and-" but the movement makes her head feel heavy and the world around her starts spinning once again.

"Not another word Donna, you need to rest," he stands his ground as he notices the redhead pinch her eyes with a pained grimace, "get some sleep and come back when you're feeling better."

"But Faye-" she weakly attempts to protest.

"Don't even worry about it, we'll take care of her alright?"

"I also think you should go home, Red. It wouldn't hurt you to rest a little," Gretchen points out; knowing eyes telling her that after what happened it was the most reasonable thing to do.

Donna closes her eyes for a moment, trying to compose herself and make up her mind. The proposal doesn't sound half bad, maybe some good sleep could make the dizziness and fatigue that seem to be attacking her fade away. She lets out a loud breath before lifting her gaze again only to find the worried glances of her friends and she reluctantly concedes to go home.

Louis fetches her coat and handbag, and she lets Gretchen lead her out of the building and put her into a cab. They both promise to cover up her absence and make sure Faye doesn't notice her gone, and although she tells them she won't be at the firm until next Monday, she figures out she could sleep for a couple hours, freshen up and come back later to catch Harvey when he's already arrived from court.

When she steps into the cab, she doesn't give the driver Harvey's address, but instead her own. She feels like she doesn't have a right to be at his place after the stupid fight they had this morning. She reasons she needs somewhere quiet and safe to get some actual sleep and clear her mind, and maybe right now her apartment is the best place for it.

Her mind is lost in deep thought, she doesn't register how much time she spends traveling from the firm to her place, and it's only after the driver annoyingly calls for her attention a third time that she realizes she's in front of her building. She pays the driver and doesn't bother to wait for the change, rushing out of the vehicle and quickly making her way into her apartment.

She hasn't been at her place for over a month and isn't surprised to find that everything is in the same place she left it the last time she was there. Except for the dust that has accumulated over the weeks and the cold of the uninhabited space, everything remains the same and it calms her if only a little, granting her some sort of reminder of the confident woman she used to be before all this shit happened.

Coat, handbag and power heels are thrown to the armchair on the living area. Her mind feels hazy and overly exhausted as she lets herself fall into the couch trying to keep her breaths deep and even. The events of the day keep swimming and playing on her head over and over again.

Her stupid fight with Harvey.

Faye fucking Richardson and her constant threats.

Aaron goddamned Lowenstein and whatever it is that he wants by unexpectedly appearing into her life again.

Her panic attacks and the fact that she has been acting so erratically Gretchen and Louis forced her home…

She feels the anxiety tie up into a heavy knot on her chest, and she knows she can't hide anymore…she needs to tell Harvey.

Phone in her hands, she doesn't even think about it when she presses the speed dial for his number. Her heart beats fast as she hears the constant beep waiting for him to pick up. She has no idea what she'll say to him, what she does know is that she needs to hear his voice telling her that everything will be okay. But of course, since he's at court he doesn't pick up and the call leads her to voicemail instead.

She debates for the split of a second whether to leave him a voice note not or not, but ultimately opts for the first choice.

"Hey, it's me," it comes out almost like a strangled whisper. She can't help the feeble quality of her voice and tries to clear her throat before continuing. "Listen, I'm really sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have said what I said, and I just wanted to apologize…We need to talk."

"You were right, there's something going on and I haven't exactly told you about it, mainly because I guess I felt ashamed for coming about this to you, but I want to now- I need to," she clarifies, taking a shaky breath. She bites hard on her lips, debating on how much information she wants him to know, before having a proper conversation with him, "I'm not at the firm right now," she adds carefully, "I was feeling a bit under the weather, so Louis and Gretchen made me go home. I'm currently at my place…I didn't feel welcome at yours since we fought this morning and… just call me as soon as you get out of trial, okay?"

"…I love you," she whispers softly after a moment in a weak but caring tone and there's no doubt about the tenderness and love it conveys.

She sends the voicemail and hangs up the phone as she makes her way to the kitchen. She pours herself a glass of wine – probably not the wisest choice after having a panic attack – but right now logic is not her strongest suit and instead reasons that maybe some alcohol could help her relax and find her way to sleep. She draws shut the curtains of her bedroom and curls under the covers of her bed.

She'll think more clearly about everything when she wakes up.


Harvey had left the firm a little before noon in order to make it in time for the one o'clock trial.

Although he had looked for Donna to talk and try to reconcile after the fight they had earlier that morning, the woman was nowhere to be found in the office. Gretchen had informed him that she had a meeting with Faye and promised to tell him when she was done with it, but after a while he lost track of the older secretary too.

He hated the fact that they haven't had a real chance to talk and work through what happened this morning. He still feels really concerned about her well-being and her anxious behavior this morning has him puzzled as to what might be wrong with her. However, he figures out that maybe she needs some more time to cool down and guesses that she might try to approach him when she feels ready to talk.

Instead, he tries to focus on the case at hand. He doesn't feel particularly excited about it, the fact that the client seems to have such a close connection with Faye so that Faye would take the liberty to casually mentioning Donna doesn't sit right with him at all and therefore wants to get over with it as soon as possible.

When the trial had begun, Harvey had envisioned a positive outlook for the case. As he had explained Lowenstein, it was supposed to be an easy ride: go in, prove the lack of merit of the allegations, present the evidence that proved the originality of the designs and leave victorious.

Or so he thought, until the trial went to shit.

Things took a turn for the worse when the opposing counsel presented new evidence: a mysterious document sent by an unknown source via email, that supposedly proved that Lowenstein's electronics designs weren't original at all and that he had in fact stolen them from the competition.

The moment Harvey asked to be handed the documents in order to review them more carefully, he found out it consisted on a series mails with confidential data and attached designs and blueprints of several devices made by the plaintiff company – the same ones that Lowenstein had given him as proof of the originality of the designs – except they had older dates of creation. The documents seemed faithful, and it was difficult to determine if they were reliable or if it was just fabricated evidence.

Despite Harvey's best efforts to persuade the judge to dismiss the documents as fabricated evidence and ask for a reschedule of the trial to better study the new evidence and its source; the judge seemed convinced of the trustworthiness of the documents. The fact that the witness offered by the plaintiff testified that one of Lowenstein's employees had hacked into their system and stolen the designs didn't help at all, and the judge ultimately decided to rule in favor of the plaintiff, dismissing all of Harvey's arguments and claiming that indeed Lowenstein's company had stolen the designs of several electronic devices from the plaintiff.

Harvey announces they will be filing for an appeal on the basis of mistrial for accepting fabricated evidence and the judge grants a hearing for next Thursday.

The lawyer could already feel the client's anger as he prepared his things to exit the courthouse. Although he's also pissed about losing the case, something in the back of his mind tells him that he shouldn't be surprised at all. Since the beginning he had had the feeling that Lowenstein was hiding something from him, and he can't help but thinking that those documents confirm his earlier suspicions about the man.

He spots the displeased expression on Lowenstein as he furiously approaches him and grabs him by the shoulder in a violent motion, the polite composure he had kept earlier that day long gone.

"What the fuck happened in there? I thought you were the best lawyer in this goddamned city!" the businessman lividly yells.

"Get the hell off me," Harvey shouts back, annoyed by the client's violent outburst, as he removs his hand from his shoulder. "In case you didn't pay attention we just lost because apparently one of your employees had the audacity to hack into this other company and steal the designs, so you either tell me what the hell is going on, because I'm done representing you if have the balls to keep lying to my face."

"I can't fucking believe you!" Aaron bites back. "I have no idea no fucking idea where those documents came from and that guy's testimony is bullshit. Those claims are full of shit, it's obvious they fabricated evidence-"

"Aaron you swore to me the designs of your devices were original," Harvey cuts him off, "I can't do my goddamn job if my clients hide information from me so I'm only going to ask once: are the designs original or not?"

The client's perplexed look doesn't say much, and after a short pause, the man takes a step closer to the lawyer, "you know what instead of accusing me of lying to you, why don't you try to fix the problem at hand? I didn't request Faye for your goddamned services for you to give up on my company's case just like that."

"I already did what I can do, we have an appeal hearing for next Thursday," Harvey defends. "So we better prepare for that and I hope this time you tell me the full story before going to trial," and with that he walks away leaving the client behind.

"Alright then," he hears the client proclaim, "but I'm telling you Harvey, if you don't win this case, I'm suing you for malpractice."

"Excuse me?" Harvey bites back as he turns in a brisk motion at the mention of the lawsuit.

"Well, it's obvious you're not handling my company's case with the seriousness you should," Lowenstein states, "and if you lose a second time, there's no way in hell I would let you get away with it."

Harvey clenches his jaw as he climbs to the back of Ray's car, entirely dismissing the client's comment. If it weren't because he's Faye's 'special friend', he would drop him as a client right there and then. He's annoyed and pissed, and having a client threatening to sue is the last thing he needs right now.

His day couldn't get worse than this.

As Ray drives him back to the firm, he checks his phone and is surprised to find out he has two missed calls from Donna and a voicemail. His first thought is that maybe she's ready to talk now, but before he can play the voice note, his phone vibrates with an incoming call from Faye Richardson.

"Faye, I'm guessing you already know what happened with Lowenstein's case," he states right away as he answers the device.

"I'm afraid so," the Special Master answers and he surely doesn't miss the passive-aggressiveness of her tone, "I'm expecting to meet with you at my office when you come back to the firm. There's a couple of things related to this case that we need to discuss," she adds, to which Harvey rolls his eyes and confirms his assistance with a disgruntled noise.

"Oh, and please tell your girlfriend that if she plans to keep her job as a COO she could at least have the decency to show up at the firm at 6:00 p.m.; we have an emergency partner meeting."

His eyes pop out at the mention of Donna, what the hell was Faye talking about?

Was Donna not at the firm?

But before he can ask further about it the older woman hangs up.

Immediately, he tries to call her, completely forgetting about the voicemail she had left, but this time, she's the one not picking up her phone. He feels his heart's rate speed up with dread and for a moment he fears the worst.

Where the hell has she been all day?

He loses track about how many more times he tries to call, but every single time, he's met by the answering machine. He leaves her about twenty text messages and maybe seven or eight voice notes all raging from sweet concern to outright desperation for her whereabouts.

When Ray finally stops in front of the firm, Harvey can't help the feeling that sits on his lower stomach telling him that the worst is about to come.


As the elevator climbs to the fiftieth floor, Harvey constantly checks on his phone waiting for some sign of life from Donna, but all his text messages remain unread and the voice notes unheard, and once the elevator stops, he goes straight to Faye's office.

The woman is waiting for him, and he's not surprised to see Lowenstein exit as he's about to enter. The client just throws him a brash pointed look that he simply choses to ignore.

"What do you want, Faye," the lawyer asks as he enters the Special Master's Office.

"Harvey, why don't you take a seat?" the older woman suggests, and Harvey complies as she gathers some files from her desk. "I was speaking to Mr. Lowenstein right here about the case, let me tell you, he is very upset about the results from today's trial. He has the feeling that you didn't give his case enough attention as you do with other clients. He might be tempted to sue if you don't win the appeal."

"Faye, I already told him," Harvey begins, "he can't expect me to win his case, if he doesn't tell me the full story and the documents the plaintiff presented-"

"That's exactly what I want to talk to you about," Faye interrupts him. "The reason Aaron came to me was not only to complain about your poor performance on his case, but also because he spotted something very interesting on the documents presented as evidence."

"And what is that?" he demands.

"As you may know, the fabricated evidence presented by the plaintiff was sent to them via email by an anonymous source. However, when taking a closer look at the documents, it looks like they were sent by someone using an email address from this firm."

The lawyer frowns.

"Are you suggesting that someone from this firm sent fabricated evidence to the plaintiff so that I would lose Lowenstein's case?" Harvey comments in a sarcastic scoff, as he reclines back on his seat, "how the hell did you arrive to that conclusion?"

"Well, it looks like the person who sent them, left a watermark with their email on one of the pages," Faye explains, as she handles him the file with the evidence. "Why don't you take a look by yourself?"

Harvey takes the documents with a rather skeptical look on his face. What Faye is suggesting is bullshit and he can't believe he's wasting his time on something as stupid as this when the only thing he's worried about is finding where the hell is Donna. But when he turns his attention to the portion of the page Faye's pointing at, he feels his stomach drop.

It's right there and although it's in a really small and discolored font; once he spots it, there's nothing else in the page he can see. It looks like the person who sent the documents to the plaintiff left a watermark with one of the firm's email addresses:

Donna's.

It doesn't make sense. There's no reason on earth as to why Donna would be interested in helping the counterpart so that Lowenstein would lose his case; let alone fabricating evidence to do so.

"This is bullshit!" He lets out a dry scoff, as he rises from his seat with an imposing attitude, throwing the documents back to her desk. "If you're trying to imply that Donna would do something like this, then this meeting's over. You and I both know she'd never do anything to harm this firm-"

"I'm not saying her intention was not to damage the firm, but the client," Faye clarifies. "Afterall, given the fact that she was awfully fired from his company years ago, it is only natural that she would try to seek some sort of revenge from her former employer, even after all these years."

He looks back at the woman, confusion evident on his expression. Lowenstein had commented she used to work at his company when his father was in charge, but he never mentioned she was fired from that place…

"Mhm, by the look of you face it seems like you have no idea what I'm talking about," Faye states, "I'm surprised she never told you…I mean given the fact that you two are in a relationship one would assume you knew about her past with Mr. Lowenstein…"

"How I handle my relationship with Donna it's nothing of your business Faye," Harvey firmly declares, "and if the only reason you called for this meeting was to throw false accusations at her without her even being present, I'm sure as hell not going to sit here to listen. I know Donna and she would never do something like this-"

"Are you sure about that Harvey?" the Special Master interrupts him. "Did she ever mention used to work at Lowenstein Electronics LLC or did you just find out today when Mr. Lowenstein told you about it? Has she ever told you about her past relationship with Aaron? Did you know that the reason she was fired from that place because she was caught selling original designs to the competition?"

Harvey's expression remains serious at the comments Faye throws him. He trusts Donna, and he's sure that if any of the bullshit Faye's saying were actually true, she would've already mentioned something about it at some point during the past fourteen years or so that they have known each other.

"Whatever it is you have to say Faye, I'm not interested in hearing it," he cuts the woman off. "You're making accusations from thin air, and if you keep spreading rumors about her doing this, I swear to God Faye I'm going to make you pay a high price for this!"

"Be careful with your threats Harvey, remember I still hold the power to dissolve this little circus you call a firm," Faye challenges. "But since you seem to be so sure Donna had nothing to do with this, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I'll ask Benjamin to run his programs and check if these documents were actually sent from Donna's email. But if he confirms my suspicions, I'm afraid I'll be forced to call for her removal as COO."

"So this is what this is really about? You going after Donna's position?" the lawyer accuses in an outraged tone, "you know what Faye? go ahead and confirm with the IT guy all you want. If Benjamin finds out she didn't send this email, – which I'm pretty sure he will – not only, am I suing you with defamation of character, but I'm also reporting you to the Bar Association. There's no way in hell you're going to keep auditing this firm when it's clear you have something personal against us," and with that he turns around and leaves the room.

Faye lets the lawyer walk away. She knows the evidence is on her favor, and if everything goes according to her plan, Donna Paulsen will be left without a job by the end of the night.


"Harvey what's going on?" Louis asks as he sees the taller lawyer exit Faye's office and walk down to his own. The evident fury on his facial expression is enough to tell him there's something wrong.

"Have you seen Donna today?" he asks straight to the point, a hint of desperation palpable on his voice as both men enter Harvey's office.

"Yes, I saw her earlier today. Actually, I sent her home, she looked kinda sick I guess she was coming down with the flu or something…" the balding lawyer explains, somehow perplexed Donna hadn't commented Harvey anything about it.

"Damn it!" he curses under his breath as he closes his eyes in a frustrated gesture. It doesn't surprise him at all, if the demeanor she was wearing earlier that day was anything to go by he should've been the one to force her to stay home…

He gets the feeling this somehow has to do with the strange way she has been behaving for these past weeks, and he internally admonishes himself for not being able to make her open up to him about it sooner. If he had, maybe none of this shit would be happening and so he picks the phone once again and tries to dial her number.

"Harvey what's wrong?" Louis presses, concerned by the lawyer's frustrated reaction.

"I haven't been able to contact her all day long," he explains, "and it looks like Faye's just making up some bullshit story about her sending fabricated evidence on some case to the opposing counsel-"

"What the hell? Donna would never do something like that," Louis exclaims.

"We both know that, but I'm afraid Faye's looking at this as some opportunity to justify her removal as COO."

"Goddamn it, we can't let that happen," Louis declares fervently, "What do you need me to do?"

"Put in word with the other partners, I've got a feeling this is what the 6:00 p.m. emergency meeting is about," he instructs Louis who diligently does as asked.

Harvey keeps on contacting her, but his attempts result futile as the phone remains unanswered. It's clear to him that Faye's just trying to get anything to justify firing her, the same way she did to Samantha. He begins to wonder if Donna knew something about it before, and if so why she didn't come to him.

If Faye is going to do what he's thinking about, they need to act and they need to act fast. They can fight this, but he needs to know Donna's version of the story in order to defend her properly. Worry begins clouding his judgment as she keeps missing his calls and he starts wondering if he should go back to his place to check if she's there and if she's okay…

Damn it, Donna, why aren't you picking up?


It's about 5:40 p.m. when Donna wakes up to the annoying vibration from the phone sitting on the nightstand next to her bed.

It takes her a couple of minutes to process the world around her and remember why she's lying on her bed, at her place on a workday. With groggy eyes she picks up the device and looks at the hour and Holy Shit! she must've passed out from the overwhelming exhaustion and alcohol she drank earlier.

She eagerly unlocks the phone, hoping nothing too important happened at the firm during her absence; only to find about thirty-nine missed calls from Harvey, eighteen from Louis and six from Gretchen, not to mention the fifty plus voice mails and messages they all left.

Her heart drops at the sight, and she quickly opens the inbox, her eyes scanning over the content of Harvey's messages, but before she can even register what she's reading, her phone vibrates with another call from him that she answers it right away.

"Donna, thank god you finally answered! Where the hell have you been?" his loud, desperate vibrato tells her he's been worried sick looking out for her, and although she knows she left him a voicemail letting him know where she was, she can't help but feel guilty for not being able to answer his calls sooner.

"Harvey, I'm at my place, I left you a voicemail…" she stumbles over the explanation but the only thing she hears in return is a relieved loud exhale.

"Why weren't you picking up? Are you okay?" he asks without hesitation.

"I'm fine, yes. Louis just sent me home earlier because I was feeling a little sick. I guess I must have fallen asleep…it's nothing to worry about though…" she clarifies, purposely omitting the details about her earlier meeting with Faye and the subsequent panic attack. But when he doesn't answer right away, she gets the feeling there's something else on his mind, "Harvey, what's going on?"

"We have an emergency partner meeting at 6:00 p.m. sharp," he explains and after a short pause adds, "it's not good news."

"What? Why, what happened?" she asks, and she can already feel her stomach tying up in a knot, her anxiety immediately telling her this has to do with Faye.

"I'd prefer to update you in person, but it looks like Faye might be trying to set you up for something," he replies, and he hears Donna take a shuddering breath. "Uhm- it has to do with the Lowenstein case…" he then adds carefully, testing for her reaction.

She feels her heart stop beating the moment Harvey mentions Lowenstein and her mind instantly goes back to her earlier meeting with Faye. The Special Master had mentioned something about Lowenstein filing a complaint against her and then had threatened to remove her from her position if she didn't formally apologize to him. She had refused to, and now, they only thing she can think of is Faye attempting to take away her position for not doing as instructed.

The moment Harvey doesn't get any reply from her behalf, and the only thing he can hear over the phone is her shallow breathing, he gets worried, "Donna?" he presses.

"I'll be there in fifteen," she squeaks out in a frightened tone and immediately hangs up the call.

As she puts down the phone with a shaky hand, horrible memories begin invading her mind. It had been years since the last time she had seen that man. The experience she had working with him was horrible; and she tries to push the memories away before they trigger another panic attack. That man never treated her with the respect she deserved and even tried to take advantage of her at some point. After she had been fired for being wrongfully accused of stealing the patents and selling them to the competition, he always swore he was going to get revenge. She didn't pay much attention to his threats back then, instead focusing to put everything behind her…but it seems like, after all these years, he finally got what he wanted.

As she relieves those memories, she gets a sickening feeling coming down to her throat and the only thing she knows for sure is that – just as with her panic attacks – Harvey can't know about it.

She forces down her anxiety and obliges herself to pull it together as she gets ready to head back to the firm. It's already half past six when she arrives, and as soon as the elevator doors fly open to the fiftieth floor, Gretchen informs her that Faye is waiting for her at her office and wants to see her immediately.

Donna shakes her head in acknowledgment and as she makes her way to the Special Master's office, she passes conference room C, where the partner meeting was supposed to take place. She spots that Harvey, Louis and Alex are already there, waiting for her. Samantha's absence suddenly becomes more apparent – she had been fired by Faye just a couple of weeks ago – and she hopes she doesn't meet the same fate as the blonde, as she's the only other female partner remaining at the firm.

Faye is already waiting for her at the entrance of her office. "Looks like our COO finally decided to come to work," the older woman comments in a bitter tone.

"Cut the bullshit Faye, what's happening? Why did you call for an emergency partner meeting?" Donna asks anxiously.

"So Harvey Specter hasn't told you?" she insinuates, raising her left eyebrow, "I'm afraid I don't have good news for you Donna, why don't you take a seat?"

The redhead gulps down as she takes the seat offered by the blonde woman.

"As you might be aware of, today Harvey had the hearing for the Lowenstein case he has been working on," Faye begins. "However, it looks like there was a little misunderstanding with some evidence and unfortunately they lost the case. Apparently, the opposing counsel presented fabricated evidence against Lowenstein that he received via email by an unknown source. Mr. Lowenstein was very worried about the outcome of his case, so he came down here to show me the documents, and he found something very concerning. It looks like the person who sent them left a watermark with their email…Why don't you see for yourself?"

Donna remains silent, unsure as to where this conversation is going and takes the documents Faye puts in front of her with a shaky hand. At first, she doesn't notice anything, but the moment her eyes fall on the watermark print on the page and she sees her email address, she feels her stomach coil up, a sheer of cold sweat beginning to form at the base of her forehead.

"What are you trying to imply Faye?" Donna asks, her jaw quivering with uneasiness.

"I'm not implying anything," Faye defends, "I'm just stating what the evidence already tells me. You tried to sabotage Lowenstein's company, again, only this time you took advantage of the fact that he's a client of our firm."

"This is bullshit Faye, and you know it!" Donna yells in desperation, "I would never do something like this, you don't have any proof those documents were actually sent from my email account-"

"Then tell me why do I have evidence here that corroborates the exact opposite?" Faye asks, handling her a file from the IT department, "you see, when I told your boyfriend about it, he asked me to find evidence this was actually sent from your mail and I'm afraid Benjamin already confirmed my suspicions."

Donna is left frozen in shock, "Faye I swear…I didn't do this," her voice wavers as she speaks.

"I don't believe you Donna" Faye replies coldly. "Besides, it only makes sense you actually did this given your past relationship with Mr. Lowenstein. You worked for him, were caught stealing evidence and were fired from that place. It took you a long time to find a new job; it is only natural you're trying to seek revenge now."

"Faye, that's not what happened –"

"You knew Harvey was handling his case, and when I informed you, Aaron had filed a complaint against you and gave you the opportunity to apologize to him, you refused to do so, and instead you took the privileged information you had and used it to sabotage his case!"

"That's not true," Donna implores over and over again as she shakes her head, "That's not true, and you know it! This is way too far, even for you Faye, and I won't tolerate you keep threatening me with these false accusations-"

"The problem, Donna, is that it's not only about this case," Faye explains cutting her off, "in case you don't remember, I have file here full of evidence proving that you are not suited for your position here. Even if these allegations weren't true, as you so adamantly claim, I have enough evidence to present to the New York Bark justifying your removal from COO."

The redhead bites her lips forcefully as tears threaten to fall, "This is not fair Faye, you can't do this," she all but wails.

"I'm sorry to break it to you Donna, but it's time to stop fooling yourself and everyone around here," Faye pronounces, "you don't deserve your position, and you never did. You're no more than a failed actress, career legal secretary turned COO overnight who was given a position that was too big for her to handle."

Donna feels her heart shatter, words cutting through her like a knife. Something breaks in her, as she feels the oxygen escape her lungs and break in a pained sob. Whatever hope she had about putting a stop to Faye's abusive treatment is gone, and when she takes a look at the myriad of files and evidence the Special Master has against her, she realizes there's nothing she can do. "What do you want Faye?" she yields in a faint whisper.

"I want you out of this firm," Faye replies in a cold, biting tone, "so I'm giving you two options, you either resign out of good will, or I'll be forced to fire you."

"You can't do that, I'm not giving up the position I've fought so hard to get just because you say so," Donna tries to defend.

"You're wrong about that: I can because officially I am the managing partner of this firm. And something tells me you are actually going to resign, because otherwise, I'll be forced to fire you, and if you make me do it, I'll send to the Bar that little memo we talked about remember? I'm sure you haven't forgotten about it."

That damned memo.

She can't let Faye get away with dismantling their firm just because she can't put her pride aside.

She would never do that to her friends and colleagues… she would never do that to Harvey…

Besides, she can't fail him with this too…at least not more than she has already failed him as a girlfriend

The only reason why Faye is auditing the firm is because her mistake with Thomas' case. This is all her fault, and so it is only reasonable for her to be the one to take the fall if things took a turn for the worse.

And they already have.

"I'll resign."

Donna doesn't even register the implications of the words coming out of her mouth before she speaks them. And when Faye turns at her with a small, pleased smile, handing her a generic resignation letter with a pen, the consequence of her statement finally dawns on her.

She let Faye take her job away from her.

"That's what I thought," Faye declares in such a soft tone, it feels unnerving. "Don't worry Donna, it's not like I'm ruining your life, you can always find for another job, resigning always looks so much better than being fired, don't you think?"

Donna completely ignores the comment as she scribbles down her signature at the end of the document and wipes away the lone tear that had dared to fall over her cheek.

"Oh, and something else, you must communicate your resignation to your partners. You're going to explain them what happened and take full responsibility for Lowenstein's case," the Special Master adds.

"The only reason I'm resigning is so that you don't send that damned report to the Bar, but you know I didn't do anything to harm Lowenstein's case. I can't lie to them about that," Donna argues.

"Come on Donna, you can be a great actress when you put your mind into it," Faye mocks, "I'm sure you can tell it in a way that seems believable," and with that, the older woman exits the room, leaving Donna alone to face the consequences of the choices she's made.


It's only a few minutes later when she finds herself making her way to the conference room, following Faye closely behind. The moment she steps foot into the room, Harvey is quick to stand up to his feet, but she throws him a cautious look that tells him to stay in his place. She makes a quick apology for her tardiness and takes a place between Harvey and Alex.

"Everything okay?" she hears Harvey whisper against her ear as his hand takes a gentle hold of hers, his eyes carefully looking out for hers. He had noticed her anxious and shaky demeanor the moment she had set foot into the room, and he worries her short meeting with Faye might've gone wrong.

"I'm fine," she lies through gritted teeth, trying hard to contain the tears at bay, carefully removing her hand from his hold.

She notices the way Faye looks back at her with a disapproving look as she makes her way through the room and positions herself on the other side of the table to face all four partners.

"You might be wondering the reason as to why I called for this emergency meeting," Faye begins. "Well, as you are all be aware, today this firm lost the Lowenstein Electronics case because of some unfortunate misunderstanding with some evidence. Our COO, Donna Paulsen has some declarations to make about this case. She'll fill you with the details."

Harvey's head immediately shots up at the mention of Donna and he glances back at her with a puzzled expression. "Donna, what's going on?", he asks anxiously.

Donna stands from her seat on shaky legs, trying her best to ignore Harvey's worried gazed and the confused looks from her colleagues as she takes the resignment letter Faye had already written for her and she begins reading it.

"Dear colleagues: As you all know, today this firm lost an important case. Fabricated evidence was sent by an unknown source to the plaintiff's lawyer on Lowenstein Electronics' case. However, you might not be aware of the fact that I am the one responsible for such fabricated evidence.

I take full responsibility for the outcome of Lowenstein's case. I confess that I was the one who sent the fake documentation to the plaintiff's lawyer because I wanted to damage this client's company. I recognize the mistake of my actions and therefore chose to remove myself from the title of COO as I'm conscious of how damaging this kind of behavior is to the interests of the firm.

Therefore, effective immediately, I Donna Paulsen, hereby resign.

I beg you all to please consider this my formal resignation."

Everyone is left speechless at Donna's declaration. Harvey's shocked expression is concerning enough, and Donna avoids his questioning gaze as she sits down again. His brain is trying to make sense of the situation as Louis and Alex share worried glances and it is only after a long pause that Faye resumes with the meeting.

"Thank you so much Donna for coming forward about this situation," she pronounces solemnly, "I'm afraid your actions are inacceptable as they have come to harm the interests of this firm and cross the boundaries of the law. Therefore, in my position of managing partner, you left me no other option but to accept your resignation because of your unethical behavior against this firm. Effective immediately you no longer work at Specter Litt Wheeler Williams."

"NO!" Harvey shouts as he raises from his seat, "I won't accept this, what the hell is going on, Faye?"

"Harvey, please," Donna begs him to listen lightly tugging the sleeve of his suit, "what's done it's done, it doesn't matter anymore."

"The hell it doesn't matter!" he barks, "I won't accept it, Donna and I'm not buying you did something like this. She set you up, didn't she?" he asks pointing his finger directly to Faye.

"Mr. Specter I request you sit the hell down," Faye yells, triggered by his accusation, "Ms. Paulsen has already accepted full responsibility for her actions and there's nothing you can do about it."

"The hell there isn't…"

Donna can't handle it anymore.

She hears Harvey's furious vibrato discussing with Faye slowly fading away like she's sinking deep into water. She can no longer pay attention to whatever they're saying, and honestly, she doesn't even care anymore. A dizzy, faint sensation takes power of her body, and the only voice she hears is her own mind, begging her to run out of the conference room, ignoring and the whispered rumors around her sudden exit and Harvey's angry shouts following close behind.

The moment Harvey sees her rushing out of the conference room, he rushes towards her, trying to catch her pace as she disappears into her office; leaving poor Louis and Alex to deal with Faye on their own.

"Donna what the hell happened in there?" he yells in desperation as he unlocks the door of her office.

The sight that greets him, terrifies him to the bone. The office is a complete mess, there are boxes with paperwork everywhere, bookshelves in complete disarray and all of her office supplies are scattered around the floor. He finds her lying on the floor in the middle of it all, arms bracing her whole body, trying to contain herself as loud desperate sobs shake her to the core.

He has never been good with other people's emotions, but with her it's always been different, and he closes his eyes in frustration that he let this happen to her. He needs to find a way to help her, get her to tell him the truth and make sense of all this mess. Still, he's not sure how to handle this situation and he realizes he has never seen her fall apart in this way before.

"Donna what's wrong?" he tries to reign his anger and muster a gentler tone, a soft hand coming to rest on her trembling shoulder.

"I- I can't-" she weeps through strangled sobs.

"You can't what?" he tries again, crouching to her level.

"I can't tell you the truth." It's no more than a faint whisper, but is enough to confirm his suspicions about Faye, as his frown falls further on his face in an infuriated glare

"What are you talking about? You can tell me anything," he reassures, trying to catch her gaze; a situation she's clearly avoiding as she keeps hers cast to the floor. "Donna, what happened in there?" he sterns.

"F-Faye, she-she's been t-threatening…" she stammers as she speaks, jaw quivering. Broken hazel eyes look back at him, tears streaming down her face, and the revelation shatters his heart into a million pieces.

It takes him a moment to comprehend the implications of her statement, but before he can ask further, he hears her mumble a weak, "I- I can't tell you more-" and with that she pushes him away and lifts herself from the ground in a newfound wave of strength.

"Donna! Donna, what are you trying to say?" he asks frantically as he watches perplexed how she gathers her handbag and coat and begins making her way to the elevators, deliberately ignoring his questions. "What has been going on?"

"I can´t say anything else," she cries back to him, as she hastens her pace towards the exit.

"God damn it Donna! If Faye's been threatening you, we can figure a way out of this! I just need you to talk to me!" he hollers in desperation as he follows her into the hallway. "Donna, please!" he begs as he approaches her near the elevators and he tugs her arm in a despairing motion, forcing her to look back at him.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she yells, and it comes out harsher than expected; so much that she watches his desperate expression dissolve into a guilty one as he carefully lifts his arm from her body.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" he stumbles over his own words, somehow trying to make sense of her volatile behavior.

"I-I just need to go…I need to get out of here-" she mutters, starting to feel short of breath, as she presses the buttons calling for an elevator.

"Where are you going?"

She shakes her head awkwardly, "I don't know," she gasps.

"Donna wait-"

But he's already too late when she takes the elevator and immediately closes the doors right in front of his face. He calls for one and it arrives soon after, but when he makes it to the entrance floor, she's nowhere to be seen.


Donna doesn't even know where she's going.

The moment she had stepped out of the firm, she took the road that went south and from there she kept walking not paying any type of attention as to where she was headed.

It's been some good forty minutes that she has been walking nonstop with no idea as to where she is, and it's not until the moment she registers the fact that she doesn't recognize any of the streets or buildings that surround her, that she realizes maybe it wasn't the best option to wander alone at night.

She has been operating under some kind of shock ever since she gave her resignation speech, and she surely hasn't been thinking with a straight mind. She ran away from the firm, feeling as if the atmosphere there was suffocating her. She only wanted somewhere peaceful to get a hold of her thoughts and calm down, not get fucking lost in the middle of the night.

Her mind starts replaying the events of the last hours. Not only did she manage to let Faye have the pleasure of removing her from her job, but she has been shutting out Harvey all day long, when all he wanted to do was help. She should've handled all of this differently, but the exhaustion and frustration that has been clouding her judgement recently has kept her from taking the most reasonable decisions, and she has never felt more detached from herself as she feels now.

Damn it Paulsen, you messed really bad this time!

She fells a pang of guilt as she starts thinking about how worried and anxious Harvey must be feeling, and as she keeps walking into the dark streets of New York, she realizes how bad she needs him right now. However, when she takes the phone out of her handbag, she finds it has already run out of battery.

The cold air feels harsh against her skin, the unwelcoming buildings around give away an aura of dread, and a sickening feeling boils down her stomach telling her that something awful is about to happen if she doesn't get out of there now. She starts thinking about getting a cab and heading back to Harvey's place, or hers, or maybe even the firm, but when she looks around, she realizes there's no one around. The street she's been walking on is empty, no open buildings, no cars driving by, no one wondering around.

She's about to turn around when suddenly she feels a strong arm grip her from behind in a ferocious motion, throwing her into a dead end alley. A mixture of whiskey and rum wafts the air and a toxic, drunk voice whispers against her ear.

"We meet again, ginger."

Her spine shivers in acute dread at the sound of the man's voice, and she already knows who's behind her.

Aaron Lowenstein.


Author's Note: Wow, what a lengthy, angsty chapter! As always, hope you enjoy and leave a review :)