Ok, so I am sorry to all of you who read Drunkenly Sober and were like "yay! New chapter tonight!" because as we all know, it didn't happen then, so here I am making up for that. I just spent the evening at my grandmother's house so I couldn't update if that's any kind of an excuse to you. And how sad is it that yesterday, during the meet, our team was at least three times bigger than the other two schools put together? I think it's pretty sad. And I would like to thank all of you people who read and reviewed Drunkenly Sober. I forgot to thank everyone on the second chapter so I'm using this chapter to do so. I won't list all of the names because that takes too much time and I think you want this chapter now.
So as for this story, I would like to thank everyone who had stuck by me and I am promising that this story should be ending within another chapter or two unless I decide to add on more for the good of your sanity and happiness. Ok? So thanks. And I promise it has a happy ending, don't judge the story by this chapter. Well the end of this chapter at least.
Disclaimer: Uh...No spiffy little disclaimer is coming to mind here...hmm...how about "If I owned Gilmore Girls, I would probably have my damn Dachshund Puppy now, or Josh's dog, whichever is easier to get my hands on. And seeing as I don't have either, I don't think I own the wonderful show that the story owes its life to." Good, spiffy, horrible, spazzy? What? Like the disclaimer?
Chapter 23: Truth Be Known
Lorelai woke up to find her neck aching. She opened her eyes to discover that she had been sleeping in the rocking chair in jakes room. Why? Oh, because he had been screaming all night long. Probably because of the fever.
Lorelai remembered the last time she saw Luke in this room. It had been when he was singing to Jake. The night that Lorelai had come home two hours late. The night before…it happened. That's what Lorelai had started to refer to that event as--it. Saying or thinking about what really happened hurt her so much, so she just kept it pushed in the back of her mind.
Lorelai got out of the chair and walked over to the side of the crib. She felt Jake's head; he was burning up. Lorelai quickly reached for the thermometer and took his temperature. 104°.
"Oh shit!" she exclaimed. "Rory!" yelled as she ran down the stairs. "Rory!" she repeated as she saw a sleepy figure enter the kitchen.
"What!" Rory said annoyed.
"I need to run to Doose's. Can you watch Jake for me?" Lorelai asked quickly.
"Sure." Rory answered unenthusiastically.
"Thanks!" Lorelai said as she pulled on the pair of sneakers she swore she would never wear, and then rushed out the door.
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"Caesar! I'm running next door to get some bread! We're out!" Luke shouted. He then walked briskly out the door towards the store.
"Sure." Caesar's muffled voice could be heard calling from the kitchen.
Luke walked in, and then remembered he had to pick up some toothpaste and some aspirin for his future hangovers. They were bound to happen within the next few weeks or so with what he was going through. He grabbed two loaves of bread and then he grabbed some toothpaste. The minty kind of course, out of habit. He then made his last stop in the third isle. Of course the shelves were filled with pills galore. Luke now knew why Taylor was the way he was. As he slowly walked sideways, searching through the shelves for what he was looking for, he felt a body come crashing into him.
"Oh sorry I didn't--" he heard her say. Lorelai. It was Lorelai who had run into him.
"It's ok." Luke answered quietly as he held out his hand to help her up off the floor.
"I'm sorry; I'm just in a hurry. I need some Tylenol for Jake." she said to him. Luke's face immediately turned from sad to concerned.
"What happened to Jake?" Luke asked.
"ah…the fever you mentioned last night got worse, and I'm here to get Tylenol for it, and then I'll give it to him, and I'm going crazy now, and I'm babbling." she tried to laugh but couldn't. After all of the years she had dealt with Rory and her sicknesses, and Jake's colds and fevers, she now had forgotten what she should do. She was so worn down and tired, and emotionally drained.
"Ok." Luke said. He turned around to face the Tylenol section and found the infants kind. He quickly grabbed it off the shelf and handed it to her. "here." he said. Lorelai looked at him with gratitude.
"Thanks…Luke. I'm just so…so tired. And I am having trouble dealing with this right now. Thanks though. Bye." she said as she walked quickly to the register and away from Luke. Luke just stood there in shock. He had never seen her so beaten down before except for that one time where she had planned to ask him for $30,000 and then had ended up crying in his arm for at least half an hour. He placed what he had in his hands on the nearest empty space on the shelf and headed after Lorelai who was heading out the door.
"Luke! You have to put those items back where they belong!" Taylor commanded.
"Shut it, Taylor!" he yelled as he ignored him. Luke rushed out the door and onto the street.
"Lorelai!" he yelled she quickly turned around. When she saw who it was she froze. Hadn't she made it clear that she couldn't deal with him? Hadn't she said that she couldn't keep doing this? Hadn't she told him that she was hurt by him, and that's all he was going to do to her now? Obviously not.
He reached her and he reached for her hand. She backed away from him.
"Luke, please don't." she pleaded.
"Lorelai, I just want to help with Jake." he said. Lorelai felt her heart drop. Wait, am I disappointed? Why am I disappointed?
"Luke, I can handle it." she said.
"Lorelai--"
"I can handle it Luke! I can handle it! Just go back to the diner." she shouted as a tear steamed down her face.
"No you can't." Luke said quietly.
"What?" she asked. Did Luke just tell her that she couldn't handle it? What universe were they in now?
"You can't handle. You can't Lorelai. You are dead tired! You are keeping everything inside! You won't talk to me! You talk to Rory, but you know that's not the same! You have pushed me away! You are trying to put on a brave face. I know this, and it has to stop. It has to stop Lorelai." he said. His last line was so sincere and caring that Lorelai shed a tear over it. Luke reached for her hand, but she pulled away again.
"No, it can't. If I let it all out, then there is no way I can live without you! And I can't live with you! I always get hurt! Always! And I can't take it anymore Luke! I can't. It just hurts. With the baby, and you and just everything else! I can't let it go! I have to hold onto the little bit of control I have or I'll get lost Luke! I'll get lost and I don't know where to go." she told him.
"You always have me." Luke answered. "You can always come to me."
"No I can't! Have you even been listening? I can't go to you! We're over! We are done! We can't be together. It tears me up inside knowing you won't ever trust me. Knowing that at anytime you might accuse me of sleeping with someone else. Knowing that at any moment you might see a friend of mine as a sex buddy of mine! Knowing that you might want to be in total control! And this has to be a give and take relationship! And it wasn't! It wasn't Luke! We were happy at first, but then the insecurities started to set in. I. can't. Have. That. I need more than just someone to cry to and to sleep with! I need someone who will trust me and someone I know will be there in the future when I'm half dead and look like hell! I need stability Luke! I need trust! I don't need you!" she yelled.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That was one time! One. Time! I was tired! And I have my reasons for those feelings that I turned into insecurities! I have my reasons too!" he yelled back. They hadn't noticed that they were the spectacle of over half the town. But that they were.
"And what are your reasons Luke? Huh? What are they?" Lorelai spat at him.
"I was going to propose! I was waiting for an hour! I sat there. For. An hour! Waiting for you! And then you come home two hours late! What am I supposed to think! I was tired! I was hurt too! I felt like you had somehow rejected me! Like it wasn't meant to be! I mean if you can turn up TWO hours late just because you didn't notice the time change, then that must mean something!" he yelled. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He had planned to not tell her about what he had been planning that night, but he let it slip. Luke had never been one to believe in 'signs' like snow, or little misfortunes. He had never been one to believe in that crap, but being around Lorelai had shown him that sometimes that is the only explanation for things.
"You were going to…propose?" she asked with a confused look on her face. He was going to propose? Oh my god! No wonder!
"Yeah. I was." he said, calming down and lowering his voice. It was then that he noticed the town's people around them. "Can we go to a more private place to discuss this?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah. Sure." she answered. "But I have to get back to Jake." she realized.
"I'll go with you." Luke told her.
Lorelai didn't know what to do. Should she just tell Luke to come with her? Should she just tell him to leave? Should she forget the fact that he had been planning to propose? No, but she needed time to think about it. She would figure out the next step from there.
"Luke, I just need some time. I need to go deal with Jake and can you just please give me some time to think about all this?" Lorelai asked.
What should he say? He wanted to tell her that 'no!' she can't have more time! He loved her! Hadn't she seen that enough? Hadn't he showed her enough? Hadn't he done everything his heart had told him to do? But he couldn't just tell her no. if he did, he would be pushing her away, and he didn't want that. He needed her to discover that he was there, if she only would see that life wasn't against them; just challenging their strength. He needed her to discover that, but she needed to do that on her own.
"Ok, I guess I'll…I guess I'll just let you go. Call me when you figure it out though. Ok?"
"Ok. Bye Luke." she said as she turned around and walked home as quickly as possible.
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It had been two days and Jake's fever had disappeared, but Lorelai's fatigue had just grown.
It had been two days since she had last spoken to Luke; two long days that were dragging on to make life harder. Those two days were the hardest she had ever faced. Luke, or no Luke? She had to decide before Luke just up and left again. But he wouldn't do that would he? She questioned. No, of course not. She reassured herself.
It had been two days since she had found out that Luke was going to propose the night she had come home late.
It had been two days since she had seen real passion in his eyes; the passion to win her back and to make her see the truth.
It had been two days since she last slept. Thinking was hard work, especially when you have a baby with a fever on your hands. Luke had asked Rory if her mom needed any help, but Rory had told Luke that she needed more time. Lorelai needed more time.
It had been two days since Lorelai had started thinking about letting Luke back into her life. Two days since Lorelai had remembered how much she loved Luke, no matter how much she tried to hide it. Two days. That's all it took to get Lorelai to pass out from exhaustion.
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So tell me what you think. I absolutely need your feedback or I think I might go crazy. to all of you who have reviewed and I haven't gotten back to you, I'm sorry, I've been busy but now that vacation is here, I will have more time to reply and Maybe even post the last couple chapters of this story.
So give me warm and fuzzies, and review. And also, hope my knee is feeling up to running next week or I'm screwed. Thanks.
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