Voldemort was sitting in a dark room, surrounded by his Death Eaters. "My Lord...might I ask why we are sitting here in the dark? Would you like me to light a fire?" asked Goyle.

"NO! Of course not. I can plot eviler plans in the dark...and besides, the glare from the fire on my head blinded Lucius for a week."

"Oh..." Macnair said quietly. "Well, then. Do you have a job for us, my Lord? I hear that Potter boy's still around."

"Potter. Yes, that's it!" Voldemort cried. "I shall KILL HIM!"

"M-my Lord...isn't that what you've been trying to do the past 15 years?" said Wormtail. Voldemort glared at him, but no one could see him anyway. "Of course it has, you dolt. But this time I know exactly what I'm doing. There's no way the brat will get away this time!"

"Ooh! Ooh! Are you going to lure him somewhere again? That graveyard was good..." Crabbe said eagerly.

"No. I want to catch him off guard...somewhere he'll least expect it."

Later...

Voldemort crouched in the bushes in front of Number 4 Privet Drive.

"This is brilliant...just brilliant! All I have to do is wait for him to come out, jump from the bushes, and then kill him. I don't know why I never thought of this before!"

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He jumped out onto the sidewalk, waving his arms madly.

"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT! I AM GOING TO KI-" He stopped suddenly and looked down. There he saw, not Harry, but a tiny old woman staring at him curiously.

"Oh...I'm sorry...It appears I have mistaken you for an enemy of mine. Please, be on your way." He stepped aside so the old lady could pass him. She sniffed and tottered by him, muttering about "kids these days".

"I'll need to be more careful next time. I don't want to bring attention to myself." Then he went back into the bushes.

Ten minutes later, he heard more footsteps. I'll wait until they get past the bush so I can see who it is, he thought. Soon the footsteps went by, and he was about to look out when...

"Voldemort?"

Voldemort jumped and looked up. There was Harry! He stood up, flapping his arms again. "I AM LORD VOLDEMORT! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! AND IF YOU DARE ESCAPE MY CLUTCHES AGAIN I'LL...I'll...well, I'LL KILL YOU!"

Harry just stared at Voldemort. "Outta my bush."

"Right." Voldemort climbed out and started his arm thing once more. "I AM-" "Yeah...I know. So are you gonna kill me or not?"

"Duh." Voldemort took out his wand and pointed it at Harry. "SAY YOUR PRAYERS, INSIGNIFICANT PERSON!" Just as he was about to fire an Avada Kedavra at Harry, something in his pocket started beeping.

He sighed and pulled out a pager. "Dear God!" He stowed his wand back in his robes and looked back at Harry. "'I'm late for Draco Malfoy's job interview! I must be off..."

He took off down the street and stopped at the corner. "Until next time, Potter!" he cried with a salute to Harry.

Harry just stood there. "That was...awkward..." He shrugged and headed back inside.