Title: Trashed and Scattered.
Fandom: CSI Miami / NY cross
Author: Sammie.
Co-authors: Ruth (mondeo) and Ruth (quarry quest)
With Thanks To: Heather Le Sommer, Pixielashes, Heather King, Binglexjells.
Part: Three of about fifteen.
Pairing: H/C (though there isn't much)
Spoilers: 3.01 - Lost Son.
Disclamer: I down own CSI:Miami or CSI:NY or any of the music and song lyrics used in this fic. Please don't sue me. I do own Deryck and Millie, so please don't sue me…
Story Synopsis: Millie Caine as a habit for getting in to trouble. With the last eighteen months still heavy in her mind she struggles to find her feet again, but when she fears her father is in danger she would put her own life on the line for the person she loves the most She begins to wonder…will this ever end?
Chapter Synopsis: Its never a dull day for a Caine, and for Millie. This day is going to be a long and hellish one.
CHAPTER THREE: Blood on my Hands.
It was late that night, or early in the morning. She woke up with a start. Something was wrong. Shaking the feeling off she got up and wondered round the room, would he be here tonight?
"So…have a good sleep?" A voice from the shadow asked.
"What do you want?…why do you keep doing this to me?" she asked him, her voice shaking. "Why Can't you leave me alone? Why do you keep following me?"
"Because my dearest." he was close to her now, it was too dark to see but she cold feel his breath on her neck. "I need to make something clear to you. You tell anyone about our little meeting and I'll cut you up right good." The cold sharp edge of a knife trailed down her cheek.
"Now…there's going to be a present for you in the morning. I hope you enjoy it. Remember. I can bring your Daddy down quicker than murderer."
The door slammed shut and he was gone. Millie rubbed her cheek. What the hall was going on?
The next morning was a wash of chaos as Millie woke up. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a baggie top and slid outside her room to find the hall packed.
"Millie!" Deryck yelled as he ran over to her.
"What the hell is going on?"
"…the police are hear….they found Chris about half an hour ago…" he told her. Millie stood still, she shook her head.
"No…no way…" she managed to stutter out. The police behind them were moving other guests on and away as they tried to determine who knew Chris. "No…" Deryck took her in his arms and smoothed her hair down.
"Hey, its okay Mill…it will okay." A world seemed to pass them by outside. The sudden shock still held her.
"Excuse me…"
"Yeah….Danny?" Millie recognised him instantly. The guy who had more than saved her ass in the park the day before. He nodded.
"Do you know Chris?" he asked her gently.
"Yeah…he was the head of security for out tour…" Millie told him quietly, Deryck still had his hand wrapped round her waist.
"Tour?"
"Yeah….were in a band…but that doesn't matter…what happened?"
"We believe he may have been murdered."
Deryck had to jump to catch Millie who's legs were about to give way.
"No…" she stuttered. "Who…how?" All Millie could think of was questions as Deryck pulled her in she tried to push him away, fighting, she didn't want anyone close to her right now However he won, eventually managing to calm her down. He could feel her shake with sobs as she cried.
"Mill…c'mon babes." he said simple, stroking the back of her hair again as she held his shirt in her hands, head against his chest, tears soaking his shirt, the only thing between her and the outside world was him, her only protection. "Hey…its okay…"
Danny left the young grieving couple alone for a few minutes. He returned later, finding the two in Deryck's hotel room. Millie sat on the window seat.
A large black zip up hooded top, - which must have been about four sized too big- draped over her shoulders. She didn't bother looking to him as he entered the room.
"She wont talk to anyone." Deryck told him. Danny raised an eyebrow. "They were really close, you know." Deryck cast his eyes to his girlfriend. "I can't bear to see her like this, I've never seen her like this. I hope you have more luck than me." Deryck sighed and left the two alone.
Danny walked over to Millie and sat beside her on the window seat. Millie pulled the top closer to her. Brushing the fabric across her cheek. Danny watched her closely. She had her defences up, Knees curled to her chest, eyes cast out the window. Another tear slid down her already tear stained cheeks, her hands trembling.
"Hey, how are ya holdin' up?" he asked her. Millie took a few minutes to respond.
"I'll be okay." she told him with conviction. "I'll be just fine." she reached up and brushed her tears away. Tucking her hair behind her ears and raising her head up.
"I need to talk to ya 'bout what happened." Millie nodded.
"I'm more than familiar with the procedure." Millie reeled off her full name and her contact details to him as he wrote them down.
"So you're a Miami gal then?"
"yeah, born and bread." she said with a smile. "You know…I have been thinking and thinking and I can't think of any reason why anyone would do this to him."
"We'll find out kid."
"…Yeah, I'm sure you will…" she mumbled under her breath sarcastically. "You lot do a fine job don't cha."
It was beginning to get dark. There was nothing she could do now. He was gone and she knew it, but she couldn't deal with it. Walking the cold New York street she kept her black hood up and head down, avoiding everyone's eye. The snow under her feet had turned to her into a mixture of ice and mush that she couldn't really describe. She slid though the door unnoticed and walked down the aisle.
Hood still up, hands in pockets, she looked up at the cross, than back down again, she took her hood down, then looked back up again.
Millie felt her self tremble. It was cold in here, not as cold as outside but it was still cold. The snow that had fallen on her outside had now melted - soaking Derycks four size too big hoodie - she felt the tears fall on to her hands that were clasped on her lap. "I don't understand what I've done wrong."
She never heard someone behind her, the figure slipped into the seat behind her.
"Why have you forgotten me?" she begged eyes cast upward towards the cross.
She looked back down at her hands then back up again.
"What did I do that was so wrong?" the plea in her voice pulled at the heart strings of the figure behind her. He recognised the tone of voice she used, identical to that of the elder Caine that was her father.
"God listens to us child, and hears our sorrow."
She didn't know who this man was, his words gave her no encouragement yet. Her heart was torn inside and she didn't understand. Her tears flowed ever more now, a sob racked her small body.
"and listens to our tears."
"So…why can't he hear me?" Millie asked the stranger her back still to him. Millie dropped her hand into her hands and cried. "I don't understand."
"What don't you understand my Child?"
"Everything…I feel so lost." It was an almost whisper that could easily have been lost in the grand sanctuary, but yet was crystal clear.
"We all lose our way sometimes."
"So how do I find my way back?" her voice still broken, it wasn't so much as a question, more a plea.
"Only you can answer that question."
Millie didn't move, she still didn't understand. A dreadful though began sinking in…would she have to do this alone? Millie began to pick her shattered emotions up off the floor, tear by tear she began placing herself back together.
"I'm sorry for intruding father." she told the man softy, finally facing him.
"Don't apologise my Child. I am always here you know that."
"Thank you."
"I have known your father for a long time Millie."
"Ahh…I see the roots are coming though again then?" Millie cracked a smile, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.
"Millie, why did you come here?"
"I was in town and…I guess…I felt…like I needed to…be somewhere safe?"
"Safe from what?"
"Myself."
"Your just like your father."
"Your not the first person to say that." A soft ray of light caught the sad sparkle that lay in Millie's eyes. "I'm sorry I disturbed you."
"Oh don't be so silly, you know where I am if you need me."
Millie nodded and smiled. He left her alone and she turned back to the cross. Her hand travelled to the sliver one that hung around her neck. She felt it between her fingers.
"Maybe you are listening…but if this is your way of telling me something…you need slapping with a wet kipper."
Millie turned back onto the cold street, which was wet from the melting snow during the sweet respite from its relentless grasp on the city. The sliver cross was cold against her skin. It Hadn't left her skin in six years. Before that it had sat proudly in its case on her shelf, too precious to touch as it had been a christening present from Speed, she wore it proudly the day of his funeral, and since then it hadn't left her neck. A constant reminder that he was watching her from somewhere. She no longer needed to greave for him as she knew he was happy somewhere. She needed no one to tell her that, she could feel it.
She wondered if he was here now what he would say.
'You a rock star? Okay who are you and what have you done with the Millilitre?'
"My grandparents used to call me half pint." Speed told Millie as she looked at the ground.
"Well, everyone just calls me Millie."
"Well as were in the day where our European cousins are using the metric system…I'm gonna call you Millilitre."
"Speed…where's Europe? And what's the metric system?"
Speed looked down at the child and shook his head.
"I worry about you sometimes." he mumbled under his breath.
"Speed! I wanna know!" Millie's whine piercing his ears as she tugged sharply on his shirt sleeve.
"Fine…right okay…"
She no longer grieved for Speed…however Chris, that hadn't hit home yet, it wouldn't be long until it did.
