Hello, again are you ready for the next chapter...I hope so. What chapter is this anyway? Four? Yep...I had to scroll up and see, what is up with these chapters they are way to long...is anyone even ready this story...probably not.:( Just joking...I hope. Well on for the next part of this totally Gravi journey. Hey...if you like this story you should definitely check out my other one, Family Ties. It is about Shuichi and Eiri being step brothers...you know the whole Marsha and Greg thing, and you know they dated in real life while they were filming the show and they would have to separate them at times and remind them that they were supposed to be brother and sister...not giving each goo-goo eyes or playing footsie. What? You don't believe me...I'm telling the truth, seriously. Well anyway here is chapter four...I AM SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK SOOOO LONG TO POST THIS BUT MY COMPUTER GOT A VIRUS…I HAD TO DELETE EVERYTHING OFF MY COMPUTER, IT REALLY SUCKS…Again though sorry for the wait
Chapter Four:
By the time that Shuichi and Hiro got to the apartment that Hiro and Ayaka shared, you could see the fear in the red head's eyes. Shuichi knew that Hiro had every right to be scared, but the fact that it was so evident just scared him…in all their years of friendship he had never seen Hiro truly scared. But here they were at the age of twenty-three, he engaged, Hiro married about to have a child and the world just looked so much harder. It seemed like he was looking at his life from an outsider's point of view, so unreal.
"Are you ready to do this? Hiro whatever you chose I am right here behind you, don't ever forget that." Shuichi said as they sat in his car. The engine was off and they had been there for about ten minutes, Shuichi didn't mind though. He knew that if it had been him, Hiro would have been there for hours…drunken hours, nonetheless. Hiro nodded and unbuckled his seat belt.
"Well it's now or never, right?" he said and tried to smile, but you could tell that the smile hurt not only him, but also Shuichi to smile back. Shuichi, following Hiro's lead, unbuckled his seat belt to and waited for the next move. Hiro went to open the passenger's side door, but stopped.
"Hiro, what's wrong?" Shuichi knew that this was a stupid question, he knew what was wrong and Hiro was handling it a lot better than he would.
"Am ...am I doing the right thing. If I go in there and tell Ayaka it's over, there is no turning back, is there? I can't rewind time; I can't make things go back, I don't have a second chance. When I think about it if I chose Suguru, then I'm being selfish, I should think what is best for my child, right?"
"Hiro, stop thinking for a minute! Just stop it! You've told me that you could never go wrong if you plunge headfirst and just follow your heart. You told me that things may not be easy, but if you follow your heart, everything will be okay. So do the same, follow your heart and stop trying to make everything make sense. Stop trying to make an educated decision and make the right decision, follow your heart."
"Yeah, but…" Hiro tried to protest, but Shuichi cut him off.
"I believed you every single time, are you telling me that it was all a lie. No it's not, look at this," Shuichi put out his hand and wiggled the finger with the engagement ring on it. "This is where it leads…Hiro it wasn't easy and you were there to see that, but it was worth it."
"You are getting married to Mr. Yuki?"
"Yeah, and it's because of you. You told me to follow my heart and not to give up on him and I didn't and I can't be happier. So if you love Suguru and you only want to stay with Ayaka because of your kid or your parents or whatever that's not love, then tell her you can't do this anymore. It's not fair to keep her from a love the same love you have found, if you care about her at all then you won't deprive her of a real love. If you love Suguru then you won't chose to stay with someone you don't even love, if you feel a certain way you can't do what seems right, you have to follow your heart because that will always be right." Hiro just nodded.
"But, it's still hard."
"I know that it is hard and long and that sometimes you feel like it would have been easier just to have stuck with the old route, but there comes a day when you know that it's right."
"How long did it take you to realize that?"
"Probably about three years ago, Yuki and I were sitting on the couch, my head was on his lap and he was just running his fingers through my hair and he told me he loved me, verbally for the first time. I knew for sure then that everything was going to fine and they are."
"Do you think that me and Suguru could ever be like that?"
"Hiro, to be perfectly honest, I don't really know. I just found out that you a Suguru were a couple about an hour ago, but I look at you and I see how scared you are of losing him. I see something in your eyes that says that you don't want to go on without him. You are making a huge sacrifice, because you think that with him you would be happy…what do you think?"
"Thanks, your really are the best friend that a guy could have."
"Don't worry about it, consider it payback for all the times that you have been there for me…now only a million more to go." Hiro laughed, and it was as if for that one moment everything faded away.
"I'm going to do it, stay here okay."
"Are you sure?" Shuichi said as he touched Hiro's shoulder comfortingly.
"Yeah, this is something I have to do myself. I don't think Ayaka would want anyone to see this either." Hiro said as he opened up the car door and walked up the steps. He reached into his pockets and extracted his key, put it into the lock and twisted the doorknob.
"Ayaka! I'm home." Hiro cried out into the mostly dark apartment. He could see the lights on in her office so he assumed she would be in there.
"I'm in the back, come here there is something I have to tell you." Ayaka called back. Hiro began the painstaking journey to her office; every step seemed to be heavier and heavier until he almost couldn't walk anymore. Then he thought about Suguru's green eyes and he knew that he had to continue.
"Ayaka, before you say anything I need to talk to you."
"Okay, honey, say what you have to say."
"I know you are going to hate me for this and I know that you will probably never want to speak to me again, but…I've been having an affair," Hiro said relieved that he was still talking and standing.
"With Suguru Fujisaki, I know."
"You know?" Hiro said in disbelief, "How?"
"Yes, I know. Did you really think that you could fool me? Hiro, Am I stupid or blind? You two would sneak away, I could smell his cologne on you when you returned. Your shirts untucked and pants unzipped, hell on more then one occasion you had each other's shirts on." Ayaka said as if it was nothing, there was no emotion on her face at all. Hiro was at a loss for words, he didn't know what to do next.
"If you knew then why didn't you say anything?"
"Why should I, so you could go run away with your little lover and live happily ever after? I don't think so," Ayaka said and with that her mood seemed to shift. She went from the lack of emotion to an someone angry, someone dark. "You see Hiro, my husband, I despise you, and you are everything in this world that makes me sick. What you didn't know is that I never loved you. I never gave a damn about you." Ayaka said looking Hiro straight in the face. "Get out of my life; I never want to see you again!"
The tears started formed in Hiro's eyes, he didn't think that he would care so much about leaving Ayaka, but there was a bitter burn from finding out that Ayaka had never loved him. He knew that although his plan tonight had been to leave her, he loved her in some way and had always thought that she had felt the same. When in reality he had just learned that she hated everything about him. Wiping away the tears that were about to fall Hiro rushed out of the house and slammed the door.
Ayaka fell to the floor, she had never wanted things to end that way, but she knew that it was for the best. The afternoon while talking to Mika Seguchi she learned of Hiro's plans to leave her for Fujisaki and she knew that the person that Hiro was he would never be able to do it once he saw her face. She loved Hiro and she wanted him to be happy and she knew that she couldn't provide that for him, in fact she had known it for a while. As she had told Hiro she had known about the affair, she had always known.
She had walked in on their make-out sessions many times, but they were too involved in what they were doing to notice her or anyone else. Everyone knew, well everyone but Shuichi and probably Ryuichi, the two young men had never been able to piece two and two together, but that wasn't really a bad thing, it added to their child-like innocence.
So Ayaka upon hearing of her husband's plans had talked Tohma into re-locating her to the American division of N-G. Tohma, of course, had been the one to tell Mika about Hiro, had understood why she wanted to leave and agreed, on one condition that once the child is born that she would let Hiro be apart of their life. He even offered to help her out, paying the rent, and taking care of things that she would need. Tohma was a generous guy, but there was more to why he had agreed to help Ayaka…more that he would reveal when the time was right, until then he keep up the act that his generosity was solely fueled by being a family friend.
A/N: Sorry about this little thing, I was going to go into detail about Tohma's connection but it seemed really lame to me and so I rethought it and came up with something else, the thing is it had to go with the story, so I am going to reveal it later believe me it is better for you guys who are keeping up with the story that I didn't put that lame-ass thing right here; it took up a pretty page too. If you are wondering why there is author's note here it is because I couldn't think of a good transition back into Hiro and I thought if I could distract you for a little bit then it wouldn't matter… so ...back to the story.
Back in the car Shuichi waited for Hiro to come out, when he finally saw the door open he saw a shocked and hurt Hiro. He didn't know whether to smile or to wave or what, so he just sat there looking at Hiro as he made the short walk back to the car seem like forever, stopping every couple steps and just standing. By the time he finally made it to the car door Shuichi was more confused then ever, he couldn't imagine what had happened inside to make Hiro act so strangely. Sure, he didn't know what he had expected Hiro to do when he came out, he certainly didn't expect him to come out leaping with joy, "I'm free, I'm free!" but he certainly hadn't expected this either. The door opened that the redhead plopped in the seat and put his seat belt on.
"Drive, please," he said almost pleading.
Shuichi without any word complied. He knew that Hiro would probably need time to digest the situation before he spoke about it, even to him. He didn't even bother to ask Hiro were to go because he knew that Hiro would tell him if there was somewhere he wanted to go, for now he focused on getting Hiro away from the apartment and the past.
Inside the mind of the redhead thoughts were running wild, he felt betrayed, he felt stupid, he felt worthless, how could he have been so stupid? How could she not have known? The more he thought about it, she was right, they had been careless with their relationship, but Shuichi hadn't known? Yeah, but this is Shuichi we are talking about and things have been really good for him and Mr. Yuki lately so he probably isn't really aware of what is going on, I bet he probably wasn't aware you guys have a tour coming up. A little voice inside Hiro's head said.
"Hey Shu, do you think you can just park the car for a minute I just want to sit, okay?" Hiro asked.
"Yeah, sure, you want to talk it?"
"I'm not sure, I really don't know if what happened in there was real or not. It feels like it was a dream, no a nightmare."
"It was that bad, I figure she didn't take it all that well when you told her."
"That's the thing, I didn't tell her, she already knew. She said that everyone knew and that she had from the beginning."
"Well that's impossible," Hiro looked at him. "I know I'm not the fastest person in the world, but I'm your best friend, I would have noticed, if it had been noticeable."
"I don't really think that it was that you didn't notice, I just think that you trusted me enough when I told you that there was nothing going on between us. Like that time you walked in on us in the empty recording studio, that was what it looked like and I don't even wear contacts, you should have caught that or the other ten to twenty times that you caught us, but you trusted me. I so thanks for trusting me, but I guess that other people probably saw right through it and knew what was really going on."
"So are you going to tell me about this nightmare of yours?"
"She knew Shuichi, she knew the entire time. I didn't even say anything."
"So she knew. Did she say anything else?" Shuichi said not knowing really what to say next.
"No, she threw me out. She said she hated me." Hiro said as he looked down upon his hands wishing the held the answer to his problems.
"Give he some time, she was probably upset, give he a week or two and try to talk to her again. Can you imagine how she must feel? Her husband just broke, well was going to break up their marriage so he could be with his lover. I mean, I support you and think you made that right decision from what I heard, I mean just give her some time," he rambled, trying not to sound to sympathetic towards Ayaka, but not heartless.
"Okay, I understand what you are saying, but it's hard to understand if she knew then why didn't she say anything. She said she didn't want to let me run away with Suguru. But if she didn't care then why didn't she stay with me? If she didn't care then how come I thought she loved me? If she didn't care why did she agree to marry me? Her family is rich, it couldn't have been money and she always hated the fame." Hiro's voice became deeper and was tinged with sadness, "was it all a lie? Is it even possible to be in love or is it all a game?"
"I used to think like that, remember when Yuki used to push me away? I would think that it was because he didn't care, but he did care. He cared so much that he thought that I would be happier without him." Maybe, Ayaka knew Hiro wouldn't be able to break it off and so she did it for him. It would explain a lot. Shuichi knew that Ayaka had cared about Hiro, love him. But for he also realized how hard it must have been for her to let go of him to someone else. Yet again she had lost a man that she thought she would be with forever, first Eiri, to another man. Shuichi wondered how many more meant she had turned and why she just didn't give up and hop the fence. He let out a snicker with the thought and was met with Hiro's questioning gaze.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, hey did Ayaka ever tell you about anyone else she dated before you?"
"She didn't really date because her father was a priest, but she told me that that she dated Tatsuha for a couple of years, but then he started to develop the whole Ryuichi thing and she got a little freaked out."
"Have you ever thought that Ayaka has really bad choice in men? I mean everyone she ends up with turn out to be…a little less then…um you know what I mean."
"I don't know, maybe, but the guys are open to it. I mean Mr. Yuki and Tatsuha have no preferences as to sex, right?"
"Tatsuha, definitely none, but Yuki I think is more comfortable with men, but he doesn't like macho men, I've noticed that."
"You mean he likes men who look like women? Well, yeah, look at you."
"As feminine as I look as a guy, I look awful in a dress," Shuichi laughed, the mood had lightened drastically in the last few minutes of conversation. "How about Suguru?"
"What about him? In a dress, I wouldn't know, we aren't into that sort of thing."
"No, that isn't what I meant, I mean where does he lie, is he bi, gay or what?"
"Or what."
"What kind of answer is that?"
"He is gay, I guess, but he said that he is open that being with a woman, but he has never been attracted to one."
"So how did this thing happen, you and Suguru, when?"
"A couple of months before Ayaka and me, but Suguru was only sixteen so that is why we kept it a secret in the beginning, but then it was just exciting sneaking around nobody knew so we never told anyone."
"Why did you agree to go out with Ayaka if you were already with Suguru?"
"Because you and Yuji and Mr. Yuki had gone out of your way to get us together and it wasn't like I hated her, then Suguru told me that if I went out with her then he and I would go out on another day. After that Suguru and I decided that we could use Ayaka as a cover and when you spend that much time with someone they grow on you."
"And the marriage?"
"I don't know, I think that I really wanted to love her, I really wanted to be the man that she wanted, but I wanted to have Fujisaki too. There was a point right after I purposed that I told him that it was over, but in the end I couldn't do it, do you know what I mean?"
"Yes, strangely."
"I knew it was wrong, I really did, but I didn't know what else to do."
"Why didn't you tell me before, I'm your best friend I wouldn't have told anyone?" Shuichi's voice making Hiro feel guilty.
"You wouldn't or you wouldn't mean to. I know sometimes you do things without thinking, but that isn't why I didn't tell you. I really don't know why. I think part if it was that I kept it a secret so long that it felt like it was mine and that if I told you then it wouldn't be as much. I know that is a stupid reason, but it isn't because I don't trust you."
"That's nice to know," Shuichi smiled. "So do you want me to take you back to my place or…Suguru's"
"Can you take me to N-G's so I can get some clothes so I can have a change of clothes for the next couple of days? I told Suguru to wait for me so I'm pretty sure that he has gone bananas, you know how "excited" he can get?" Hiro said with the first real smile that Shuichi had seen all night.
"You guys are the strangest thing that I have ever seen…so I guess there will be a lot of disappointed fan girls when this story hits the papers. How am I going to plan a wedding and do interviews about your "forbidden" romance? I need a personal assistant."
"We are weird? Whatever, what about you and Mr. Yuki? You guys are both strange on your own and together, strange doesn't even begin to cover it."
"Whatever you are just jealous that you will never be a power couple like Yuki and I. We are like the TomKat or Benifer of Japan."
"You are a little full of yourself aren't you? And you know the only reason that those guys got married was because they got knocked up? You aren't pregnant are you? Shuichi, how could you do that, couldn't there be another way for you and Mr. Yuki to show your love?" Hiro joked.
"Yeah, yeah, shut up," he said as he pulled up to the recording studio. "Go and get your clothes I have a phone call to make," pulling out his cell phone.
A/N: I know that it took forever to get here, I had this chapter opened on my computer for like two weeks and I didn't write anything. I blame the HarryxDraco fan fiction, it's killing me. I love it! If you haven't read some of that pairing, definitely do. I got so many ideas, but I don't think that I'll do a crossover, but I'm definitely going to start writing a lot more. If there is anyone who is happy about that thank you, thank you very much. Three of my major story ideas are for "Family Ties," "An Event to Remember" the sequel to this, yes a sequel and "Before You," where Shuichi is a freshman in high school and he meets a senior named Eiri who like in the manga and anime seems cold and heartless, yes that means that Kitazawa is going to exist. I hate fan fictions were Kitazawa never existed, it doesn't make any sense because if you say that you are saying that Eiri is a jerk for no reason and that isn't very nice and it really leaves no hope for our poor little Shuichi to help him overcome his pain, because there is none. So next time you write a fan fiction make sure that Kitazawa exists, think about, it won't be a happy ending.
My song for this chapter is...Tangled by Maroon 5, I used to really like them before they got popular now I really don't, but I think that it's also because I grew up a little bit.
I', full of regret
For all the things I have done and said
And I don't know if it'll ever be ok to show
My face around here
Sometimes I wonder if I disappear
Would you ever turn turn your head and look
See if I'm gone
Cause I fear
There is nothing left to say to you
That you want to hear
That you want to know
I think I should go
The things I've done are way too shameful
You're just to an innocent
A helpless victim in a spider's web
And I'm an insect
Going after anything that I can get
So you'd better turn your head and run
And don't look back
Cause I fear
There is nothing left to say to you
That you want to hear
That you want to know
I think I should go
The things I've done are way too shameful
And I have done you so wrong
Treated you bad
Strung you along
Oh shame on myself
I don't know how I got so tangled
I think that this probably the way that Hiro feels about the whole Ayaka thing…I don't know I was going to put some Fiona Apple here but this came on in a mix and I thought it worked pretty well
