NOTE TO ALL SMASHERS: THE TRIP TO THE BAHAMAS IS AT 6:00 A.M! DON'T BE LATE!
1:10 A.M., May 25 Captain Falcon's Diary Entry
Greetings Diary,
That ugly dude Roy told me that he had a special job for me. I wonder what it is. He said he would tell me on the plane ride to the Bahamas and I would have to do it at the Bahamas. He said it would be worth it, but I may have to make someone appear to take a blood test. I hope I won't appear on Maury again, because they said I was banned there, and my offspring will be to.
I went shopping in the mall today. I bought loads and loads of pink. Marth was there with me, he went to the girl's section for some reason. Marth isn't gay, he's just different. I bought a pink bracelet that goes with my tight man jeans. I can't wait until I rock these pink Nikes I'm bought. They're so cute!
Now let's talk about love. I really, really like Link. He always avoids me. I can't stand that little dirty midget Young Link though. That little big head bastard owes me so much money for all those condoms he bought. I know his little pinky winky can't handle all that sex. But his older self turns me on like I can't imagine. I said when could we get together, he said when Sheik's "it" shrinks. I still don't know what Sheik's "it" is. I know a few days ago, Link was smelling. The smell was so bad, I thought of pulling a Michael Jackson, cutting my nose off.
Samus said she wants me to be her Bride's Maid because I'm her best friend. She is so sweet, I won't wear a dress, that's Marth's thing. That drunken bastard Bowser! He drank my beer last night! I tried helping Samus by getting her to have sex with Bowser. He took a big bite and ate her with his drunk ass. Then after a few minutes, the whole room was colored green and brown. He messed up my new shirt I bought from Wal-Mart! That stuff doesn't come cheap!
Later on we'll be going to the Bahamas. No more being cooped up this musty old house. I can drive my pink escalade anywhere I want, but there's nothing to do here. They said at the Bahamas we get to eat free. Zelda said we were cheap and we couldn't pay for the food anyway because she is supposedly the richest woman in the world. What a b--ch! She really needs some sex or something. It's like she has her PMS 24/7. Reminds me of my mom. Always b--ching! I bet she stuffs her bra to make her breast a size bigger. There's no way a woman her size could have breasts like that. It's impossible!
I have to pack my clothes and get ready for the trip.
+ Cute Falcon Over and Out
-- 7:43 A.M., May 25 Link's Diary Entry
Journal,
I'm scarred for the rest of my life! Ganondorf slipped Prozac in some of Zelda's water! She drank her water and made this crazy look, like when you have diarrhea and you're about to have a stoke because it won't come out. She grabbed me by my throat and took me in the girl's bathroom! She ripped my clothes off and started getting on top of me and slapping me. She said, "What's my name BITCH! GOD YOU STINK!", and then she slapped me. I was a man about it and started crying. She kept slapping me and asking me what her name was, and I told her Zelda. She started sniffing in the air and said Ganondorf. She walked down the aisle of the plane and the music from "JAWS" started playing. She choked Ganondorf and twisted his arm in uncomfortable positions. She said, "Who's yo' mama now? Huh? I'm yo mama! MAMA SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY!" Ganondorf broke down and started crying and he said it couldn't get any worse.
Zelda turned into Sheik and used her humongous "it" on him. I have never seen anything like that. It was such a sad moment for Ganondorf and I am sure he has a tooth ache from the mysterious powers of Sheik's "it". Sheik had turned her head towards Luigi and jumped on him. The music from "JAWS' played again and she attacked him with the "it". She slapped him with it, choke him with it (she didn't wrap it around his neck), and she even gave him a spanking. Luigi, with his sexiness, said that I wanted more sex!
Sheik ran towards me and the "Thundercats" theme song started playing. She threw some needles at me and pinned me to the wall of plane. She made her way towards me and she turned green for some reason. She started choking and vomiting and said the smell between my legs was too horrible for her. Her "it" grew to an enormous size and started making it's way towards me. It twisted and turned and when it got close to my legs, it turned around and ran right back to Sheik. Sheik passed out and Bowser grabbed her by the legs and pulled her into the Boy's Bathroom. He was in thee for 3 minutes and Samus broke the door down. He screamed "SHE DEVIL!". She ran towards him and said "Will you marry me baby!". He through a lot of nails at her, and the got stuck to her suit and she was pinned to the wall. He bent over and said , "Prepare for my ultimate move, the POWER DUMP!". Samus was hit by the brown and green river and was KO'ed off the plane but she had an extra life. Bowser resumed whatever he was doing with Sheik. Peach saw the ring on Samus's finger was the one she was searching for. Whatever Peach did to Samus is beyond belief in my knowledge.
I hate thinking about this, because this is almost as bad as the time I went to jail for growing weed plants. The guys in there were all over me, and here's one piece of advice when you go to jail, don't drop the soap. We have about 4 more hours until we arrive at the Bahamas. I heard they have the best cigars there.
Link
-- 8:26 A.M., May 25 Fox's Diary Entry
Fox:
This trip is going to be the worst trip of my life! Pikachu, Mewtwo, Jiggylypuff, and Pichu got left behind! I don't have any Pokeballs and I need sex! I need to feel Jynx's Lovely Kiss, Haunter's Lick, and even anal sex with Blissey. You may think I'm a perverted freak, but it's actually feeling good to have sex with 200+ different animals. There is no way I can catch any sexually transmitted diseases, and I don't need the use of condoms. This still doesn't give me any hope, I NEED POKEMON SEX!
After a few moments of thinking, Kirby kind of reminds me of Clefairy and Jigglypuff. His sexy round body, almost as sexy as Luigi, is so --- stimulating. The pinkness of his body, the feel of his elastic waist, the characteristic of having no sex organs just turns me on. I must have Kirby, I must have him now! I am tired of all this waiting, I want him. I need Kirby to survive! I bet I can get Kirby to use his big mouth for something! He has sucked up a lot of things, and what I have in store for him is going to rock his little pink life.
This trip won't be so bad, and I am sure there are many Pokemon running around in the Bahamas. I heard there was a lot of Jynx there that had big boobies, big lips, and they had secret thing under their dresses. I remember the banned Pokemon episode when Brock thought that Jynx was Nurse Joy. He almost got close to and kissed her. I can't wait until I can rub on a Jynx's big fat booty and make it bounce like on those music videos. I bet I can get it taped of me having sex with a Jynx and then I can post it all over the internet! It will be even more popular than the video I made when I was 8. My dad was in it and we each took turn having sex with Mr. Mime. That was the best birthday I ever had.
Searching for Kirby: Fox
--8:32 A.M, May 25 Peach's Diary Entry
Hello! I found my diamond ring. Samus had been wearing it. She said she was keeping it warm for me. I asked her wear she found it and she said that she saw Yoshi with it. She is such a good friend, keeping my ring from getting cold. As for Yoshi, I guess I must have my man eating boobies attack him. I will need to plot this one out. This shouldn't be that hard because I graduated at the top of my class. They said I was the smartest special student in the school. Of course, I was the only special student in the school! I am so lucky to have such a great life.
When I get to the Bahamas, I am going to swim with the sharks. Sharks are so cute and I'm sure that if I can swim with them, I can make them my friends. Marth told me that if I swim with sharks, make sure I am bleeding because that will draw them towards me and we can have even more fun. He also told me to tie some raw meat around my neck and swim near their mouths. I guess he wants me to kiss the shark. I will be like The Little Mermaid and ride on the back of the sharks. I'm also going to try and collect a shark tooth, and sell it to the Black Market to get some cash to buy the Sesame Street Uncensored DVD. The commercial said it shows Big Bird saying words that haven't ever been said on PBS before. I'm going to learn every word that he uses and I will say them in church to say them in church to show the preacher that I have learned a lot of new words.
Piece of paper, I guess I should tell you about the plan that Roy has for Young Link when he goes to the Bahamas. Roy said that he will get Captain Falcon to have sex with Young Link, and Ganondorf will play a part in it. He said some other stuff, but I stopped talking and he started talking and it got all boring and I fell asleep.
Right now, I'm going to plot on how to get Yoshi back.
Au Re Voir, Peach
--9:31 A.M., May 25 Bowser's Diary Entry
Deer dairy,
I finally got 2 hav sex with sheek. It wuz so fun but that she deamon almost stop-ed me. don't worry dairy becuz I took care of her 4 good. She wont b messin wit me agen becuz I hit her with all the do do I had in my bodee. O yes dairy, I am straped 2 the top of the plane becuz I wayed it down havin sex wit sheek. I can feel the air hitting my bawls. The air duz not feel to bad on my bawls. Ganinderf said he would help me git off the top of the plane in a few minits but I don't know y he hasn't cum to gitt me yet. I gess that he has stil been scared from what Zelda did to him. It wuz so funnee that I couldn't help but laff at his face when he wus getting raped by the uptite skanky hore.
:THE REST IS LEFT BLANK BECAUSE BOWSER'S PENCIL FLEW OFF THE SIDE OF THE PLANE:
--5:12 P.M., May 25 Mario's Diary Entry
It's-a me Diary--Mario!
Well, first that bastard-a brother of mine has-a been annoying me ever-a since we have come to the Bahamas. Earlier, we were-a playing volleyball at the beach and he-a said he was so sexy that he-a could beat me at my own-a game. Well I showed that green bastard-a that I'm better than him in-a every ways, so before the game, I shoved-a African Ants down his boxers. They ate the shit-a out of him! It was so funny watching Luigi-a miss the ball and I won the game. Sure I cheated and maybe-a it was a bit wrong, but I have been taking-a care of Luigi since we were younger-a and even then he was sexier than me. I took-a care of him so he could show-a SOME respect for me. I changed his diapers-a, taught him how-a to read, breast-a fed him, gave him pads when he-a started his period, and bought his clothes-a. He gets-a everything he deserves, and I have other things-a in store while we are here at-a the Bahamas. I also have bought a Dr. Mario outfit.
Did I mention all the fine honeys down here at the Bahamas? After the volleyball game, I was already having sex with one of the girls down here. She had on a wig, but she was still good looking and she looked as if she had an Adam's Apple, but I couldn't just been mistaken because I had my eyes closed for the full 7 minutes. I don't have to worry about Peach catching me because the dummy said I can have sex with other girls, as long as I don't eat their cakes. I hope she's talking about cakes you bake bacsue I have eaten a lot of "cakes". The girl I had sex with, I didn't taste her cake because she was super sensitive, and I had to enter through the back door.
I haven't seen Link in a while, he was behind the bard smoking. He said he couldn't take the anticipation, and he needed a really good smoke. A few minutes later, he was arrested for illegal drug use. He just doesn't know that I confiscated most of his weed before he was arrested and I'm smoking some of the stuff right now. Well :THIS REST OF THE PAGE IS TORN BECAUSE MARIO USED IT TO ROLL UP HIS WEED:
--3: 24 A.M, May 25 Yoshi's Diary Entry
I don't have my testicles anymore! I can't reproduce any eggs because that blonde whore's boobies ate my testicles! She accused me of stealing her damn diamond ring which I did not steal. I don't know where she got this information from because she is so wrong for taking my testicles. It will take me a few days to grow my balls back. Now I have nothing to use my tongue for when I get bored late at night. I guess I will just have to have sex with someone, Birdo maybe. I remember our relationship from about 2 years ago. She would always b--ch about me going out with guys, but she can't say anything because she is a transvestite! She was so bossy. She would make me get up late in the night just to go and buy her a new bow. She didn't want the regular bows, she wanted me to steal Peach's bows out of her room. I guess that's why she thought I stole her ring, but I always lied and said it was Mario who did it because he wanted to be a naked present for her. He could tied the bow around his penis and be naked for Christmas.
It's those boobies that get to me! I hate those boobies! They are 44 C boobies with very bad tempers. They have a good sense of smell and hearing. They're not as dangerous as Sheik's "it". They're still a menace to society because they are the reason that Whitney got on drugs. Whitney took care of Peach and her boobies stressed her out so much that she married Bobby and started drugs. Her career was down hill from there. It's all Peach's fault! I hate her dumb ass! Just thinking about her makes me so mad! I will get her back! Some way or another, I'm going to use her dumbness and get her back! She will pay or suck my testicles that will need to grow back!
Yo Yo YOSHI!
--7: 30 P.M., May 25 Zelda's Diary Entry
Dearest Diary,
----I know I should be mad at Ganondorf, but how could he not help himself. I'm sure he inherited his mom's intelligence and he may have a few mental problems. You can't get mad when you're the most sophisticated, intelligent, and beautiful woman in the world. I'm not mad at Bowser for raping me, but I hope he knows that Sheik has the claps. He probably can't afford a cure for it, but I know I can. These people are poor and have no money. They act like the Bahamas is such an amazing place. I have been around the world many times and none of this surprises me. These sad, sad people probably have never even wiped their butts with Charmin Ultra Soft Toilet Paper. Every time you look around they are scrubbing their asses across the rug.
----I must say that I feel sorry for what happened to Young Link. He has to take care of a child when he is just a child himself. Roy really pulled one together this time. I like his style, maybe I should try and go with him, but he isn't as sexy as Luigi. I like his style, the way he dresses, and his this smell. It's just he's and ugly virgin. I wouldn't have sex with him, not because he's ugly, but because I don't want crabs. I'm too beautiful to have crabs! He's the only man in this family that seems to have any sense.
----I have to go to the dentist for a check up on my teeth. The acid from my vomit has been wearing them down. I am sensitive about my weight. I don't want to be a fat ass like Mario, Bowser, and Peach. Vomiting my food is just s fun! I used to do it when I was a little girl. I would vomit up my Grape Sodas and drink them again. They tasted a bit funny, but they were still good sodas anyway. Bulimia is a part of my life I must say. Anyone who hasn't tried vomiting their food and eating it again doesn't know what they're missing. It's a great way to lose weight and your teeth. But most people can't afford to buy more teeth like I can, because they're all poor bastards.
Good Bye Dearest Diary, Zelda
8:22 P.M., May 25 Ganondorf's Diary Entry
Book of Thoughts:
I had a baby today because I went to an all you can eat buffet at Shoney's and got pregnant. I was so scared and I wanted to put the infant in a garbage bag and throw it in an ocean. Luckily, Roy told me that he would take care of the baby. I thanked him and asked how I could repay him and he said I don't need to repay him. He just said tell no one that I had the baby and everything will be okay. I could've hugged him, but I just wanted the baby away from me. I resumed eating because I can't have another baby for a whole week. Last time I ate that much, I had twins. I named them the Ice Climbers and they seemed to like incest a lot. I don't claim them to this day and I used the Triforce to erase memory of me being their mother. I sent them to Alaska and that's where they are now.
I have bruises from what Zelda-Sheik---whatever did to me. I am hurting so badly in my mouth and butt hole. It's so painful to chew my food and I also have this weird stain on my teeth and my tongue. It tastes familiar, but I can't exactly remember where it could've come from. I won't worry about it though. I'm going to Dr. Phil so he can help me on this thing.
Ganon D.
12:42 A.M. May 26, Roy's Diary Entry
I finally got Young Link back! HAHAHAHAHA! I had Captain Falcon have sex with Young Link and used Ganondorf's baby and told Young Link it was his. He believed it! He was about to go crazy when he found out. He started crying and Capt. Falcon was furious! They didn't suspect me and I hope they never will. Young Link looked at Capt. Falcon and asked what they would name the baby. They are still deciding on what to name the baby. The fact is that they are buying baby things and Young Link can't have sex anyone because he must remain faithful to his baby's daddy. The baby started crying and he wouldn't drink Young Link's Moo Moo Milk so Captain Falcon tried sticking his penis in the babies mouth and it chomped down on it and made it bleed. It was so sad. I kind of felt bad about what happened, but then again, he got what he deserved. I hope then older Link knows he has a son, he's going to be in for a shock when he finds out. I guess the least I could do would be to help them, but the baby is so damn ugly! It looks just like Ganondorf, just uglier.
We're staying at a Hotel and 3 people are in a room together. I know Link, Zelda, and Bowser were arguing over who would get in the beds. They argues for hours, but then they finally cam to an agreement. Zelda said Bowser could get top bunk, Link could get bottom bunk, and she would sleep on the floor. The bunks fell and Bowser fell on Link and wouldn't get off. Bowser's bed burned from the funk of Link's legs and Zelda chuckled and called someone on her cell phone. She ordered a Queen sized bed and fell asleep. Link was crushed, Bowser fell asleep on Link. Sadly, Bowser had diarrhea and let loose on Link. Now his outfit is truly green.
As for Fox, he raped Kirby for some reason. Kirby hasn't been the same. He's been jumping around at everyone's genitalia sticking his tongue out. Whatever Fox did to Kirby is a good thing because he gave me oral sex. He said he needed a blind fold because I was ugly. I am not ugly! I look better than a lot of the Smashers here! I am tired of them calling me ugly.
The doctor said he thinks he knows a cure for my genital herpes. He said I need to have sex with Luigi and it will go away. I don't know if Dr. Mario is right, but I think it would be worth a try. I mean he is a doctor, and the clone of Mario, and Luigi's brother. So maybe he's right. I have done stranger things and they worked such as wearing a Halloween Mask makes me look a lot better. I used to wear them, but Peach's boobies were being harassed by it and they attacked me.
ROY'$ Diary
NOTE: ALL SMASHERS WE WILL BE GOING TO ENTERTAIN CHILDREN IN A BURNED DOWN MALE STRIP CLUB!
Character Overview
Mario: Plotting to make Luigi's life Miserable Peach: Cut off Yoshi's testicles Luigi: Still sexy and is has no feeling in his body from African Ants Capt. Falcon: Young Link's Baby Daddy Young Link: Has a child Link: Crushed By Bowser and has been shitted upon Bowser: Sleeping on Link Samus: Has been shitted upon and still chasing Bowser Roy: Set up Young Link and Captain Falcon into thinking they had a child Ganondorf: Had a child and ran Shoney's out of business Fox: Raped Kirby and searching for Pokemon Marth: Shopping for women's lingerie Sheik: Raped by Bowser
Heartless Fantasy: I feel that this one is much better! Thanks to everyone who is reviewing my story. Please tell me what I would need to improve on, if anything, and there are probably still some typos left in this story, so please forgive me for them. Thank you all!
