Heartless Fantasy: Hello all. I am so sorry that it has been so many months since I have even tried to update this page. Man, you guys AI really miss having your reviews and things, and I have printed the two chapters of my story, and they all wanted me to begin a new chapter, no matter how lazy I was. I apologize again, and I sincerely hope you all find this story interesting.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. STFU!

NOTE: ALL SMASHERS WE WILL BE GOING TO ENTERTAIN CHILDREN IN A BURNED DOWN MALE STRIP CLUB!

-- 01:48 A.M., May 27 Bowser's Diary Entry

Deer Dairy,

Well today we will b in a strip klub. I kno it wil b so much fun bcuz captin falkin sed it wood b beer thur an no she demun! Oh yes that wil b so gud bcuz that bish wantz to tri to rape me agen. Jest a our ago samis dum ash gunna tri to giv me sum sleepin pills, but I had sumthing in store her ash. The stewpid bish kame in mi room an I had a doo doo bazooka!

I shot her and she flew out the room. Then the smell woke up all da house. Day acted a dam fool. I don't undastand. I didn't smell nothing. But samis kame bak 4 more. So I had my arsinal reddy 4 her! She slippd in my room agen an this time I ate her. Agen, I had 2 take sum lazitives becuz the bish is hard 2 digest. She been kiking and skreamin like hell. I also ate some chiken and a peetsa and sponge bob skware pants bcus he is yeller and looks like a banananana.

Sincerelee.

Bowzer!

-- 12:15 P.M., May 27 Zelda's Diary Entry

Greetings Diary,

----I cannot believe I was being forced by this dumb ass author -- whom is a very smart person., (I don't want him to do anything bad to me…) made me go to this burned down male strip club. There was all this white gunk still on the tables and stuff and some of the kids got stuck to the seats. Now, there weren't any good refreshments so we had to serve the children straight liquor. The little bastards got drunk and started farting and thought it was so funny.

----This is the crap that makes me sick. I am a princess dammit! I shouldn't have to do this childish crap. I have servants who have servants to do their chores for me. I am so much prettier than these ugly people like Roy, but I'll never be as sexy as Luigi. People white my buttocks everyday! I don't have to do a thing/. Everyone is under me!

-----So it's my turn to entertain the kids. What am I supposed to do? I don't think for myself! My servants do it for me. So I taught them the only things I know, how to vomit your food. Now I took my toothbrush and stuck it down my throat. One fo the little girls said they saw their mom do it plenty of times, and that her mom was in a wheel chair because she was too light to walk and almost had a heart attack trying to go to the bathroom. Oh well, it's only because she is an adorable idiot.

----Let's not forget the thing is BURNED DOWN! There was no stage! There were pieces of wood on the floor and this is a brick building. Now how stupid is that! Then Fox wants to run around and add all these dang on Pokemon into the club. The little Charmander thingy started breathing fire and then the kids were so drunk from farting, that the farts caught fire and their little bums started burning. I laughed because being a smart princess, I don't fall for crap like that.

----I am smart! I am the queen! I am the sht! I am not even writing this, people are writing it for me! I tell you all that I could rule the world if I wanted to. I could even kill the author of this story!

:Blood spilled on the rest of this because Heartless Fantasy shot Zelda.:

-- 01:18 P.M., May 26 Captain Falcon's Diary Entry

Greetings Diary,

And again, the male strip club thing was fun! We had male strippers and of course I stripped too! I stripped in my pink thong and bra even though I have no breasts! It was delicious -- I mean fun! Until the dead corpses of the old strippers came back to life. Zelda passed out because she ran out of body fluids.

The point being the corpses all went for Luigi because he is SO sexy! I mean so so sexy! I love me some Luigi. They tried to attack him and they pinned him down and gave him a lap dance. Maggots were coming out of their eyeballs and the maggots gave Luigi a lap dance. Then all the little drunk kids gave Luigi a lap dance. Then I tried to give Luigi a lap dance until a Pokemon came and blew a flame on my little cute booty.

My booty is no longer good and glazed -- perfect. Sorry, I meant perfect. Again, the thing was so fun to do. Never have I been banged by 6 people. Don't ever tell anyone that. And I think Shiek was in it to because when she came around, all the boys left. But, I doubt her ugly ass did anything because I would never let my honey glazed basketballs get near a face like that.

Now let's talk about my child. I killed it. That child was so dang on ugly! The doctor slapped my grandmother for letting our generation go that far. I can't have a child because… it's impossible! I mean it's literally impossible! And by a 12 year old! That's really sick. I mean, the thinks I do are not THAT sick, but come on, a 12 year old and plus he was threatening to put me on child support.

I fed the baby to Peach's breasts. They actually went back in her shirt because the baby was so ugly. I had to put a Halloween mask on it just for them to take one bite of the baby. This thing did not look anywhere near normal! Even the insides were weird. It was filled with chocolate cakes and condoms (which I hoarded for myself) and Vaseline (which I also took, a LOT of.)

I have to get ready for the next event we are having. Heartless Fantasy will announce it later on, and I hope it deals with more stripping.

Glazed Booty Capt. Falcon Out

-- 02:27 P.M., May 26 Peach's Diary Entry

HOLA! That means chicken! I learned that on Sesame Street today! Earlier this morning my boobies ate a little ugly doll. It was so ugly I fainted. I didn't go to the strip club thingy because I boo boo'd on myself and no one was here to change my panties. So I had to wait all day until they came home for Link to change them. But he was really stinky and the green aura was coming from in between his legs and he scratched a lot. I think a hamster pooted in his pants and that's why it would smell so bad.

Now, let's not forget that Yoshi's dumb ass stole my ring! I am going to kick his pa-tootie! I already have his balls and I stuck a string through the balls and they are now like the beads you get when you show your boobies. I remembered every time I showed mine that the boys would run off and throw all the beads at me and I never had to work for them though. Once my boobies had a head in them because I showed my boobies and a man died. Somebody shot him in the head with a big gun I think. I'm not too sure.

But Yoshi! Yoshi! Yoshi! I am going to finish him off because I hate his bisexual self. I caught him sleeping with Toad this morning. Poor little Toad had to pretend he was enjoying it just to stop Yoshi from being mean to him. I gave Yoshi a poison mushroom! HA HA HA HA HA! He got what he deserved. All of a sudden he started laying billions of eggs and his booty hole couldn't keep up with all the eggs popping out and it split him in half. I took his tongue and I used it as a thong. But now it's all messy with booboo, but it did keep my crotch from getting dry. The crabs have ran out of bottled water down there. It's so dry… they call it the Sahara Desert Junior down there in my crotch! They are so mean! I stuck my finger down there once and it looked like a barbecue hotdog. I know it's not that hot down there, I've felt hotter, like Fox's breath after having sex with Mewtwo.

Gawd, I am so tired. I won't fall asleep on the Diary this time because I am on the toilet! I know I can stay up if I stay in the toilet. I have already fallen in and my butt cheeks are wet, I forgot who left the seat up. Oh wait, this isn't a toilet. It's the in-door swimming pool! Oh my, I have let loose the snickers and almonds in this pool. I will just tell them they are Hershey's chocolate now painted green. They are stupid and I am smart, they will fall for it.

-- 05:24 P.M., May 26 Link's Diary

Journal,

Everyone around me is dying! They scream in pain because of the smell from in between my legs! It's sad that they can't take the smell of my fishy legs. They are all weaklings. I can't help if I have small balls and that my pubic hairs follicles are really, really dirty from me rolling around in pig shit.

The smell isn't so bad because I was smoking this new illegal drug and I was so high. The police ran and tried to catch me but when they came within the 5 foot radius, they began to vomit and die. Their skin peeled and their eyes burned. I laughed and I threw a bomb at them, but it exploded from the faunk time I pulled the bomb out. I don't even know where they come from, but this one did have the familiar odor of my genitalia.

Here we go again, the faunk is burning the paper. I have to bawl it up and throw it before I lose the diary entry and I am forced to do …. Shiek.

:Half a burned page is left and it is too faunky for your eyes to read:

-- 08: 02 P.M., May 26 Roy's Diary Entry

My plan failed! It failed and this sucks! The baby is now missing and I have not repaid the little bastard Young Link back for what he did!

Let's start about how bad my day was. I got kicked out the burned down strip club because I was so ugly, and all the little kids ran away from me because I was so ugly. So I had to walk around the streets. People were screaming out of the cars "Woah what the hell is that!" and "Who let out the mascot for It hurt me so bad. I went to the zoo and the elephants threw peanuts at me and the gorillas tried to invite me to their tribe.

I'm going to get plastic surgery no matter how much it will cost me or no matter how ugly I am. I don't like being ugly. This is how it has always been. Even when I was kid, my parents disowned me because I was ugly and I was found in a garbage bag. Then I grew up in an orphanage and they though I was a dog, so they fed me all these nasty foods and stuff. They even made me sleep outside until someone finally told them after 3 years I was a real boy. Then I became a master swordsman and I defeated my sensei. Mostly because He couldn't stand looking at me and put on a blindfold so I had an easy advantage over him. I sliced his head off and he screamed "I would rather die than look at something as ugly as you!".

This has to stop, I am tired of slicing my wrists because people have been calling me ugly! I should put a bullet in everyone's skull who calls me ugly or refers to me not having any beauty. I'm beautiful no matter what they say, words can't describe … how ugly I am! Let's face it! I'm ugly and that's the way it is and it's going to be! But I will get sexy like Luigi! Watch, by tomorrow, I will be sexy! You hear me… sexy! And my balls are killing me1 I hate outbreaks…

Roy'$ Diary Entry

-- 11:32 P.M., May 26 Marth's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,

You know today everyone thought I was an ugly woman just because I wore Peach's dress that she let me borrow. They make me so damn sick because they think everyone can be a good drag queen. I am the best drag queen there is and I still have sex with women and they love me. At the little kids party thing, this little girl wore the same red slippers I had on. I know the bitch didn't try to dress like me. I knocked that little 8 year old bitch in her mouth. Then she gone try to hit me with a damn beer bottle. How the hell she think she is going to be me! So we got to jackin'. Right there, I was beating her little ass. I took off my bra and strangled her, but she stepped on my testicles because I forgot to wear a jockstrap with my G-String. But I was getting her. Then she took a piece of wood and hit me on the side of my head! Oh my god it hurt so bad… so bad… Then she jumped on me and I gave her a titty twister even though she had little olives for breasts, but I twisted them little mother fuckers so hard, her teeth fell out and her hair stood on end! But she pulled out some mace and maced me in my face. I couldn't see, and the little girl must have been a robo-bitch because she picked me up and threw me in a puddle of water in the club's basement. Well, a puddle of semen and then through one of the broken lights down there to electrocute me! And that's exactly what she did. The padded metal bra I was wearing sapped up all the electricity. So I jumped up from the basement and I put my tittes (I'm flat chested so I put my chest on her) and I blew her face off. Then the last words she muttered was "I hate you! You stinky old lady!". I hate that little bitch two because, who the fuck she think she is trying to talk about me! I'm Queen Marth, and I still get my ladies. As of tonight, I'm going to get some from Zelda! HAH! Even if she is just a dead corpse… :).

Marth

! A NEW DAY! ALL SMASHER WILL NOW BE SPECIAL GUESTS ON NANNY 911 !

-- 07:13 A.M., May 27 Samus's Diary Entry

Samus Signing In:

I am now outside the body of Bowser. I have murdered SpongeBob SquarePants. Does anyone know how much he can talk while inside of a body? Anyone! He is an asshole, and not the good kind. I hate him now. The little batsard kept on asking what would happen if he touched certain parts of my baby's body. So I told him to go down the pink tunnel. He did and he was screaming such foul language like:

It smells like Patrick's ass! Please someone! Get me out of here! I can see the light! A green light! ACK! It's more shit! HEEEEEEELLLLPPPPPP! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Please, someone! The Great Neptune please come and save me. I can't swim! AHHHHH! It's a pool of shit! Oh no! I'm drowning! Ah hot piss! Hot piss! TOO MUCH FOR ME! I'm melting, I'm melting! AH! OW OW OWWWW! My body can't take anymore! My two buck ass teeth are brown! And I can't feel my legs! The shit burned off my legs!

Okay maybe I went a little to far, his legs did get burned off and he made it out of there. Of course for me, I was pooped up in a bed. And I saw Shiek holding a picture of Bowser. Bowser was nowhere to be found. My suit was melted again, and I have third degree burns again, so Shiek didn't notice me. The man-woman thing looked at me in disgust and ran off. Well, actually, she ran wildly around the room sounding like a hippo going through birth. So I shot her with a tranquilizer dart filled with Prozac. And now she is running a muck around little bitty kids. I wonder how she's doing? But, let me get dressed for these little bastards, My skull needs some make up, and I don't have much skin left on my body, so I have to make the best. No suit today.

End Transmission.

-- 02: 12 P.M., May 27 Luigi's Diary Entry

It's-a me! Mar --Luigi!

Note: I am writing correctly because I don't want to be like my fat ass brother Mario.

Where should I begin? The nanny thing didn't go so well. The kids started crying and Bowser began to start throwing a fit and ate some of the little munchkins. We had to get one of the fat kids out of his mouth, butt all we got was the cupcake in his hand, which Ganondorf ate. So he began to start crying like a baby. Something is truly wrong with that guy. So he gave some of the little kids beer, and they craved more of it and screamed even more. I couldn't take all this screaming. So I walked out and all the little girls followed me saying I was such a pretty man. I ran away from them and they threw wild fits crying that they wanted me to hunch on them like their father's have.

Now Zelda was a different problem. Even after being shot in the head brought back to life, she thought she was way to good to take care of the kids. This one little overweight girl kept asking Zelda for her dress, and Zelda wouldn't give it to her. The little girl sat on Zelda's foot and smashed her toenails. Zelda went off in a furious rage. She stuck her foot up the girl's ass and twisted it. She stuck it so far up her butt, we could see Zelda's toenails coming out of the girl's mouth. We couldn't get her foot out. So Zelda has to walk around with a fat girl for a foot. She's now like 7 feet tall and the little girls stomach made a good cushion for her.

Mario thinks he is slick. While I was whipping one of the girls for saying "Give me some of that big k!". He tried to stab me in the back with a knife. I knew he was after me because he is jealous of how sexy I am. So I turned around and hit him with a coin punch. Actually, it knocked some dollars out his pocket and the little kids started hitting each other trying to get the money. So I hit him with my package and he flew through a window. And he gripped onto the head of it. I couldn't take the pain of him playing bungee with my ball sack. So I pissed and he got shot with the golden Kool-Aid and fell to the ground. His body was lying in a pool of blood.

Fox also had a problem with these little kids. He let out a Pokemon with these really big titties and pink lips. She was black, not like a race black, as in crayon black with a blonde wig on! He started having sex right in front of the little kids. The little kids started re-enacting it! They tried to enter through the butt hole's of the little girls and the little girls pooped on the boys. It was so sad and yet it was so funny that they didn't know what to do. Fox then began to make the scream Pokemon scream it's name so loudly! The wig thing fell off and Fox didn't even use a condom on that thing! Just a few seconds after he got through with the Pokemon, it had a baby. Oh my god, it went through labor for 3 minutes! The baby came out and I don't even want to describe what it looked like. Just great another baby for us to have taken care of.

I don't ever want to have to baby sit little kids again. That is so not right. They made us not whip the kids, which they really needed. We had to sit down and talk to them, this shit didn't work. The bastards were running us and telling us what the fuck to do. Let's not forget this is live television! I being so sexy, didn't have to follow the rules. When the camera showed me, the show got the highest ratings. And also, Captain Falcon is in jail for child molestation.

Still Sexy Luigi

-- 05: 23 P.M., May 27 Shiek's Diary Entry

Dearest Diary,

Shiek had to take care of little babies today. The little babies didn't like Shiek because Shiek is ugly. But, Shiek also woke up with Bowser sleeping next to Shiek. Shiek screamed and hit Shiek's "it" attacked Bowser and Shiek got really horny. Shiek started to poke Bowser in the butt. Shiek loved doing it to Bowser because he screamed in pain from the ferocious power of Shiek's "it". Shiek then let Bowser do Shiek, but Bowser was too big and Shiek screamed in pain from his weight and he didn't know how to give good love to Shiek. Shiek fell asleep and woke up to the ugly sight of Samus. Samus was very ugly to Shiek because Samus looked like a skeleton with a little bit of skin on her. She was ugly as fuck. Shiek ran around a lot.Then Shiek was hit with a needle and Shiek tried to have sex with some of the little kids this morning. Shiek's "it" was too big to fit into the little kids so the little kids played with Shiek's "it". Shiek told the kids to be careful, but they didn't listen to Shiek and they all drowned in Shiek's woman juice. Shiek now has a court date and Shiek doesn't want to go to jail because the people in jail will want to make Shiek's "it" theirs and Shiek wants Shiek's it all to Shiek's self. Shiek must go now, Zelda is being mean to Shiek and wants some time in the body.

Shiek heart Bowser

-- 6:30 P.M. May 27, Mario's Diary Entry

It's-a me Diary--Mario!

I think Peach has gotten-a smarter because she is now able to count-a to 7. This is a bad thing-a because she-a may start to wonder why I have-a a lot-a of girls at my-a house. Just an hour ago-a her boobies killed-a Jessica Simpson. She said she knew-a what was going on-a and Jessica Simpson was not allowed to bake-a any cakes for me. Woo, I almost thought-a she found out what was really-a going on. Boy that Jessica Simpson got-a some hips on her. More than Peach-a will ever have-a. Then Peach just gave-a me a cake that said "I love you Malio". Who the hell-a is Malio? Is this bitch-a cheating on me or she was-a too dumb to cook a cake right-a and spelled my name-a correctly. That is the only-a thing she will ever-a be: A professional-a baker. She can't even have-a sex right. She tried to be the man-a one time. I screamed at her-a, but she took off her-a shirt and the boobies started snapping-a at my cocktail weenie. I knew what-a was good for me and I stopped right-a in my tracks. Peach was so musty-a and had so much hair-a under her arms from where-a that dress has made her-a sweat so much-a.

I remember when I first-a saved Peach from Bowser-a. The very first time, Bowser was trying-a to take Peach because-a he wanted to take off her boobies-a and make them into a new breed-a of Chain Chomps. I saved her and little-a did I know Bowser was right. She had these gigantic computer monitors on her chest-a and they barked and barked. I hate those boobies just as much-a as the next person. Especially when Peach-a gets on her period and she doesn't get-a any. She starts crying for some-a of the Mario and I give her some-a of the Mario. Then she may even get real-a sad afterwards saying I'm not as sexy-a as Luigi is and that-a she wants to watch Dora The Explorer-a Gone Wild. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING-a HARD IT WAS TO FIND-a THAT DVD? It was some little-a 5 year old Spanish-a girl showing her mosquito bites and-a trying to stop this fox from-a 'Swiping" her goodies.

Having sex-a with Peach-a,

Mario

A Whole Month Later

-- 03: 32 A.M, June 18 Fox's Diary Entry

Fox:

I just took a trip to the Pokemon world and I had a fabulous time. Never have I seen so many beautiful Pokemon in the world. There was free booty everywhere! I didn't know where to start! I hadn't gotten any in a long time and I had a lot of Pokeballs and I planned on taking some of them home for later keeping. I took Kirby with me just in case I got horny searching for Pokemon and I couldn't find some good booty. I traveled from town to town and I saw that guy named Ash. He started shooting his gun at me because I stole his Pikachu from him and he really wanted it back. He isn't getting it back because that Pikachu gave me some of the best sex I had ever had. I was so sprung off Pikachu, I was taking it out on dates, buying it stuff, and giving it some of the best loving ever. Do you know how many times it tried to run away from me? It even learned how to speak English. It told me it didn't like me, but I don't care as long as I got mine. That's all that matters to me. I do it like Fantasia: Good love to you, Sweet love to you.

Now I plan on going to this gym with a lot o girls there. I'm sure they keep a lot of female Pokemon, but I have to really careful because one time, I got some Stun Spore on my penis and it didn't work for a long while. I couldn't even masturbate because of that! It was the worst 2 hours of my life because I was so freaking horny. But, I will have to write in you later because I am wasting valuable sex time.

Getting Good Love: Fox

-- 08:14 A.M., June 18

I don't have testicles or a booty hole anymore. All thanks to the people here. That's no fair that I have to be ridden like a horse by Mario and he didn't even use his penis with it and now I have no balls or butt. I can't lay my eggs to reproduce and that means my race will go extinct! I bet Peach would love to see that because a week ago her dumb ass put a blanket in the oven and set the house on fire talking about she wanted to keep the cake warm. What the fuck kind of shit is that?

A few more weeks ago, Ganondorf had another gorilla looking baby. I tried to steal his booty hole, but his baby looked at me and my eyes started burning like hell because the baby was so fucking ugly. I was blinded for a few days. We have kept the baby in a cage with a blanket over it and it has been crying for food. We're too scared to feed the baby because it is so ugly. We plan on burying the cage in a deep hole, but no one wants to touch the cage. Even Peach is smart enough not to touch it.

They did pay me 100 coins to get the baby and bury it. I can do it, because with 100 coins I have an extra life. If I die from looking at it, I will come back. That's how it is. I am Yoshi! The best looking damn dinosaur in the mother fucking world! I am the shit!

:This was not be finished because Heartless Fantasy killed Yoshi and he is the shit, and he took his 100 coins.:

-- 12:45 P.M., June 18 Peach's Diary Entry

Hello pink piece of paper! Mario has now married me and I am so happy! I want my Mario all to myself so no other bitch can call him their man. I am the only baker who cooks for my baby! That's the way it will always be. We bought ourselves a pet. A fully grown tiger! I wrestle with my tiger every day and it always tries to lick my face. It hurts sometimes because he is very rough, but then my boobies started to play with the tiger. They shaved off all the tiger's fur until I could see the bones of the tiger. My tiger is very pretty. It is a white pile of bones. It won't eat anymore for some reason, and I don't even have to clean after my tiger. It just sits there. It did leave me it's heart as gift and I gave the skull a kiss on the forehead because I love my tiger. It's my baby! I love it almost as much as I love Mario. Zelda said my tiger is dead, but that bitch is stupid. She also told me that the sky was blue (It's red like a banana!), 2 + 2 4 (It's pie!), and O.J. did it (No he didn't! He didn't kill her! My boobies did!). Daddy says he is going to take the whole house to Disney Land in a couple of days. OOOH! I can't wait until I go. Zelda said she is out shopping for her a new dress and she is going to buy me a special bra to keep my knockers in check, whatever that means. Luigi is now even sexier because he has cut his mustache. If Zelda cuts hers, she will look sexier too! Well diary, I have to prepare for the Disney Land trip.

:The rest of the page is ripped because this dumb ass used it as toilet paper.:

Character Overview:

Mario: Married to Peach

Peach: Married to Mario and preparing for the trip

Luigi: Is now really sexy because he shaved

Capt. Falcon: In jail for child molestation charges

Link: Has been bathing for the past few days

Bowser: Was last seen trying to roll 7 on a 6 sided die

Samus: Plastic Surgery

Roy: Took plastic surgery and he got breast implants instead of a better face

Ganondorf: At McDonald's for their $.99 Big n' Tasty's

Marth: Has assault charges and in church for sexuality confusion

Fox: Was eventually caught by Ash while he was having sex with Prof. Oak

! WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND !

Heartless Fantasy: Thank you! Thank you all! I love you! And I hope you all review my story! Please enjoy this, I spent some time thinking about this and I hope everyone has a been satisfied with this chapter and my drought of updating.