Konnichiwa! Anyone want to throw rotten tomatoes at me for not updating? Go ahead! –Is wearing a protective coat- Sorry for not updating sooner. I'm a lazy bum. But hey, when inspiration comes, it comes. Thank goodness I got inspiration when I had some free time. Here's the Fourth Chapter. Enjoy!
Most of this will be in Sakura's POV. I will say when it changes from Sakura's POV to the normal POV.
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Perfect Situation
A CCS Fanfic
by Starfire Star
Chapter Four: Our Parents Part I
As I drummed my fingers on the desk of my "office" outside Mr. Hiroshida's office, I stared outside at the beautiful park outside the office. The soft early-spring breeze rustled a few dead leaves away, much like the worries of my wedding. Other worries filled the back of my mind, but I didn't want to think of that now. Warm, beautiful weather always makes me day-dream, and I was doing just that.
I sighed in content. I was finally going to be the beautiful princess bride on TV. I couldn't compare myself with those little girls on TV that dressed up as brides with stuffed animals as wedding guests. No, I never did that, because I never really liked dress-up. I was a simple girl, who loved playing sports and being with family. Also, I was married to Syaoran. So I would never do a silly thing such as dressing up and pretending to get married. It could hurt his feelings.
Of course, we were little kids back then. We didn't know much about marriage, except it was something that our parents had. We thought it was a promise to be together for ever. Syaoran and I didn't want to be separated. We wanted to play games together and do homework together and have our secret Cherry Blossom Fields forever and ever. We never knew it had anything to do with love. We didn't know what love was.
When we found out what marriage really meant and what love was, we didn't tell each other that we didn't have a marriage. We let ourselves quietly know that we would get married to someone else, and it meant more than being best friend and being together. But Syaoran and I continued to grow up together, with that living "marriage" or without.
My emerald eyes looked down sadly. I would be getting married. That was good, but there were some disadvantages. Eriol was talking about moving somewhere downtown Tomoeda, into a mansion. I wouldn't see Syaoran that much anymore, since we both don't like traveling far distances. I would travel for him, but I wasn't sure if he would do the same.
I remember last week Tomoyo and I went through our high school yearbooks together, and Syaoran had wrote in every single one of them. I knew Syaoran cared about me. When we were seven, I had grown closer to him, and when we were thirteen he grew closer to me. In every single message in the yearbook, he put, "I'll always be there for you." My lips pressed together in a smile, and my face grew warm in content, I suppose.
I thought of my wedding. My smile slipped a little, as I thought of all the money that Eriol's family was putting into the wedding. I'm a plain and simple girl, and I didn't want to have a big ceremony. But getting engaged to Eriol, I guess I was asking for it.
A door slammed, snapping me out of my blissful memories. The sudden movement of Mr. Hiroshida made me instinctively push my chair back as he slammed some papers on my desk.
"Take this to Li!" he barked at me as my strained, surprised emerald eyes grew wide.
I nodded quickly. Mr. Hiroshida abruptly turned around and entered his office, slamming the door behind him.
I collapsed in a heap on top of my desk and blew my bangs up in frustration. A familiar scent flowed around me, and I looked up.
"What are you, Free Willy?" Syaoran said with a smirk. "Are you okay?"
I sighed as I lifted my head up and straightened my hair out. "Mr. Hiroshida is scary," I whispered to Syaoran, almost tearfully. "I've been scared of him and trying to avoid him as much as possible since I started working here," I admitted.
"You don't have to be scared," Syaoran said. "If you just show a little more confidence you'll have him straightened out." He glanced at the stack of papers on the desk and flipped through them and looked at me. "Are these for me?" Syaoran asked.
I nodded weakly as I robotically opened files on my computer.
Syaoran took the whole stack and supported them with his shoulder. "Thanks," he added as he walked off back to his cubicle. I smiled.
I stood up and followed Syaoran back to his cubicle. I was bored. There wasn't much to do for Mr. Hiroshida, except bring him his coffee at the exact same time every day. Besides, Mr. Hiroshida was going to scare me to death if I actually stayed around him today. As Syaoran turned around, he nearly dropped the papers.
"Hey! Don't follow me like that!" he complained as he sat down and immediately began looking at a paper on the top of the stack and typing.
"Sorry," I said meekly as I cleared some space on his desk and sat down. I admired Syaoran. He was one of the best accountants in the office, because he was fast at getting work done. Not that he wanted to do the work.
I watched fondly as he cleared each sheet on the stack, never stopping in between. Finally, after clearing 10 pages, said, "What's up?"
I shrugged. "When are you free? We need to make more plans," I asked as he stared at the computer screen.
Syaoran groaned. "More wedding plans? That's all we do."
I shook my head. "It's always the wedding thing. Let's watch a movie." I was hoping to make it up to Syaoran for making him go through bouquets of flowers and frilly dresses. We hadn't spent much time together lately.
"When?" Syaoran said. "Any time is fine with me." I grinned. I glanced at the calendar on his wall, looking for a free weekend. I looked down the calendar, and there it was, two weeks from now: "Dad's 13th Death Anniversary. Call Mom about it."
I let out a slow, shaky gasp in dismay. "Syaoran," My lips parted to reveal his name as my emerald eyes grew wide. "It's your dad…"
Syaoran nodded quietly. "I know. Don't worry about it." Syaoran was very unsettled upon his father's death. He always tried to hide his feelings about it, but I know deep inside he still had unsettled emotions.
We sat in silence for awhile, sound coming only from Syaoran's key strokes. After a period of tense silence, I bit my lip and said, "Is there going to be a service?"
Syaoran nodded again, saying, "I might not attend." This reply caused me to reveal my strong emotions. "Syaoran!" I exclaimed. "He's your dad!"
"Sakura," said Syaoran in his soothing tone. "I've been attending those services for my dad all these years. I want to remember him quietly- by myself. I don't need a lot of people to give me memories of him." He looked at me, and I stared back, red began appearing at my cheeks, and I looked away.
Syaoran smiled warmly at me, the smile that was always genuine, that made his amber eyes glow. He touched my hand lightly. "It's okay," he whispered as I looked down at my hands, my face still pink and blushing. "Don't feel embarrassed." With that, he turned back to his computer and began to click the mouse repeatedly.
I had reason to be embarrassed. I couldn't forget how I was there when Syaoran's father had died.
At stood in the front foyer of Syaoran's house, meekly, my emerald eyes curious, waiting, watching. I was dressed in my Tomoeda Elementary Juniors soccer outfit, "emerald green that matches your eyes," Syaoran often remarked, and I, in return, often blushed. I wasn't used to being complimented; people called me "quite the little tomboy". As I was young, I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult. But I loved sports. I didn't mind being a good athlete. So I was often surprised when people said how pretty I was, how sweet and kind I was.
Syaoran stood in front of me, his chocolate hair messy as usual. It was even messier after that little incident that involved his mother trying to tame it. His amber eyes were filled with content. He was hopeful, energetic, determined, and confident. I admired Syaoran so much.
He burst with happiness, "Dad! We made it to the playoffs! Our game is this Saturday!" Syaoran gleefully told his father. He pushed a lock of brown hair out of his face and placed a somewhat dirty ball onto the table. He glanced at his father expectantly, waiting to see his reaction.
I didn't know what Mr. Li's reaction would be. Just last year, he had changed so much. He tried to be his normal energetic self, but he was always tired, always being so safe and cautious. Mr. Li normally likes to jump into life with two feet, but this Mr. Li was so different, his interests had changed. I admired him for trying, though. He still wanted to be there for his kids and people close to him. He hoped that no one would see this change, but both Syaoran and I did. I'm sure the other members of Syaoran's family noticed, but preferred to ignore it. They wanted to focus on the happy times only.
Mr. Li smiled. He hugged Syaoran, while I stood there with my hands behind my back. Mr. Li seemed tense about something, apologetic, sad. His mouth was turned up in a smile, yet the smile didn't reach his eyes. Eyes are always the thing that gives someone's real emotions away. Eyes cannot hide how hurt, sad, angry, disappointed, etc. you are.
As Syaoran pulled back, he still glanced at his father to say something, expectantly. Syaoran's father stopped smiling. He bent down to Syaoran's eye level and said, "Syaoran, I might not be able to make it." Syaoran's amber eyes grew wide. I felt so sorry for Mr. Li, he looked so sad. Mr. Li was really trying; he didn't want Syaoran to be hurt.
Syaoran took a step back. He shook his head, his amber locks shaking wildly, unaware of me or anything around him. He glanced at his father and his lips spat out, "No, you're kidding Dad! Quit joking around!" His lips said that, but I could only hear one word: Denial.
Mr. Li shook his head. "I'm not kidding, Xiao Lang," Mr. Li said remorsefully. "I wish I were kidding." That's when I saw it in Mr. Li's eyes: Fear. He feared that Syaoran would not forgive him. Soccer was important to Syaoran, one of the most important things in his life, at this age. My eyes grew wide as I watched the scene unfold before me, me frozen in my standing position, my hands clasped around each other behind me.
"No, no!" Syaoran began to say wildly as he waved his hands. "I can't believe this. How could you, Dad!" Syaoran's face crumpled up, as if he were going to cry. As I saw this, I somehow was unfrozen, my feet already making their way to Syaoran's side, comforting him. As I peered at his face, my hands on his shoulders, I saw his face red. He was looking at his shoes, his hair making his face unreadable to Mr. Li.
Mr. Li look helpless. I gave an apologetic glance at him and Mr. Li shrugged. Finally he spoke. "Syaoran, I'm very, very sorry. It's just that they really need me at work…" Syaoran suddenly looked up, his face red in rage. "I'm not important, am I? You don't care about your son; you don't care about anything except work!" I was taken aback by this outburst. Mr. Li stood up, his face serious.
"Syaoran, I can make it up to you," Mr. Li began, looking around the room for help, his arms crossed. Syaoran shook his head wildly and turned around, nearly making me fall to the ground. He grabbed my hand in time, and whispered, "Sorry, Sakura." He grabbed the soccer ball off the table, and abruptly left the room, his angry footsteps pounding the wood floor of the house. I gave Mr. Li one last look as he sighed and ran to follow Syaoran out the door.
"Syaoran!" I called as he angrily slammed the ball on the hard concrete pavement. The ball sprung up and landed on the clean cut grass of my front lawn. Syaoran, frustrated, sat on the curb in front of his house, and I quickly followed him, allowing myself to clear the dirt off the curb and sit down, with a hand on Syaoran's shoulder.
"He always comes, how come he won't come now? How could he do this?" Syaoran said angrily, almost as if he was talking to himself. His angry amber eyes hinted sadness and disappointment. Then suddenly Syaoran jerked his head and faced me, piercing my emerald eyes with his amber eyes. I let out a little gasp, startled. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it abruptly and looked at his Nike running shoes again.
"Sorry, Sakura," Syaoran said after a few quiet moments. He glanced at me this time, and I noticed his face, sad now, with the fury and anger only hinted now. "I know I shouldn't be mad at you." Syaoran got on his feet and brushed his shorts off, brushing his hair out of his face in this process. With a quick smile at me, he started off on the sidewalk. I stood there, not knowing what I should do, and then quickly started after him.
I was a couple of steps within reach of him, when I took the initiative and cried out, "Syaoran!" Syaoran stopped, but did not look back at me. It was as if we were frozen in time. "What?" Syaoran said his voice barely audible. I didn't take a single step toward him. I took a deep breath, and said, "Your dad cares for you, and he just wants the best for you."
Syaoran, his voice not sharp, quietly and simply said, "Thanks, but I'll believe it when he tells me." I took a step back, my feelings hurt. I bit my lip in response, and looked down at my hands. Syaoran's dad, the person he looked up to, the person who was a great influence on him, let him down.
Suddenly we heard it.
A loud crash followed by a heavy thump shook the house. It shook the windows. He disturbed everything inside the Li home. I couldn't see inside the house, the door was closed and the curtains were drawn. I realized as I stared blankly in shock that Syaoran was standing there too, and with a quick glance, we sprinted towards the house.
Maybe we knew that something bad was going to happen, maybe we didn't. These were feelings and thoughts not meant to be shared. Maybe one day.
The door was unlocked. Syaoran forcefully pushed it open and we let the scene before us unfold.
The desk in the front hall had obviously been disrupted, pushed out, and the crystal vase Mrs. Li had bought the week before at an auction, the crystal vase that she had been so proud of, lay in shattered pieces on the ground. Next to the shattered pieces was…
Mr. Li. He lay face down, still as Syaoran and I were outside after the little episode with Syaoran and his father. We both knew something bad happened. It was obvious that something bad happened to Mr. Li… we didn't have time to think of the possibilities, but I knew we were both thinking the same thing.
I let out a gasp, and clapped my hand to my mouth. I saw Syaoran's eyes water as he cried out, "Dad!" Pain tugged at my heart as I became numb. My worst quality was that I couldn't react in a bad situation. My own eyes welled as Syaoran ran to his father's side, unaware of the glass on the ground. He cut his hand, I could clearly see it as he shook his father desperately, but Syaoran couldn't possibly be bothered. I took a deep breath and found my voice. "Syaoran! I'll go run for help!" I cried out tearfully. I whipped around just as Syaoran cried, "No! I'll go! You stay here!"
I nodded forcefully as Syaoran made his way past me and ran next door for help. I quickly kneeled next to Mr. Li. The glass shards were cutting my pants, cutting my knees and sending sharp pain. I swallowed and shook Mr. Li.
"Mr. Li! Mr. Li! Wake up!" I shouted. What should I do? CPR like on TV? Push or hit his heart like those Soap Operas Syaoran's sisters liked to watch so much?
Just then, Syaoran, breathless and tears streaming down his face burst through the door, my mom, my dad, Touya and Mrs. Li in tow. Gasps and sharp breaths followed by hands clapping to mouths was all that was heard. Mrs. Li let out a wail and sank to Mr. Li's side. I quickly made my way to my mom and my dad, took my mother's skirt, and wiped my eyes on it. My dad made a dash to the phone and called 911. Touya stood there numbly, and my mother, breaking my grasp from her skirt, hurried to Mrs. Li's side and Touya put his arm around me.
Numbness followed as the police questioned my and Syaoran. I answered truthfully, and without Syaoran's presence, told him about the fight.
The ambulance pronounced Mr. Li dead at the scene. We found out the cause of his death: A heart attack.
I was chewing my nail. I just realized and quickly snapped my hand to my side, Syaoran eyeing me. "Old habits die hard," I said sheepishly. Syaoran laughed and smiled in his usual act, which he's had for… A couple of months now, I suppose? It was his "happy but sad" act. I felt horrible. I know death anniversaries were bad for Syaoran… but this one in particular made Syaoran feel low.
Just then, a man in a brown suit I recognized as a delivery man came with a huge bouquet of flowers: branches of Cherry Blossoms and springs of peonies, complete with yellow roses. It smelled heavenly. I breathed in the scent and smiled, holding out my hands to take the bundle of fresh air. Eriol had scent me many bouquets of flowers but this one in particular was just exquisite.
The delivery raised an eyebrow at my outstretched hands. Embarrassed, I quickly slip my hands back on my lap. "Sorry, miss," the delivery man said. "But this is for a… Syaoran Li?"
The delivery man looked at Syaoran. He thrust the bouquet into Syaoran's hands, and with a tip of his hat said, "Have a good day!"
Syaoran gave me a perplexed look and set the flowers on the desk, searching for some sort of note. Sure enough, on the wrapper, near the bottom, was a note in clear, beautiful cursive writing that I recognized immediately.
To Syaoran,
Flowers for a special person, flowers for a special time.
From Tomoyo Daidouji
It took me a moment to realize it.
How could I be so blind? It was inevitable. After me and Eriol get married… they were all alone… single. What better than for them to get together?
Tomoyo and Syaoran were together. How could they keep this from me? Some friends they were!
I didn't even take the time to think that maybe they weren't together, that maybe the flowers were just condolence flowers, after all the "special time" could be Syaoran's father's death anniversary, plus I had never seen flowers being delivered to Syaoran before…
I noticed that Syaoran was looking at me. I did not want to look at him. I looked everywhere but his face. I felt so betrayed, so left out. I bit my lip angrily, almost making it bleed, my emerald eyes with fury in them.
Syaoran looked at me, concerned. "Sakura?" Oh hell, I'm sure he was perplexed about the flowers. A word formed in my head: Denial. I shook my head, and snapped my attention at Syaoran, snappiness in my voice too, I'm sure. Charming.
"What?" I said irritably. I put a head to my forehead. I didn't feel like talking to Syaoran right now. I didn't feel like looking at him, doing anything related to him.
"Sakura, we should get this in water. The front desk has a vase, right? I'll just go get it…" Syaoran said hesitantly. Oh, great. Now he didn't want to be around me either! I'll beat him at his own game!
I felt pretty sure I had PMS or something. Oh gees. At the office, too! I narrowed my eyes at Syaoran as I said, "I'll get it."
Syaoran looked taken aback as I swiftly left the room, my hands shaking, and my face red. I coldly walked down the hall towards the front desk, like an alien. More like an alien with a tomato for a head. I heard a couple of officemates call my name in concern, but I ignored it all. I was a zombie, numb, unaware.
I just stopped. Frozen in my tracks. My head felt light. I settled myself carefully on the ground next to a cubicle, hugged my knees to my chest, and put my head in my hands.
As I looked down at my lap, I realized my pants were dotted with wet, fat tears. Disgusted, I touched my face to reveal wetness, a tear rolling down my nose. I quickly wiped it away with the arm of my blazer. I had never experienced PMS like this before. Irritable and Emotional? Usually I just had plain cramps! Severe ones, might I add…
I sighed, and picked the toes of my black knee-high boots. They were new, and I knew I was completely ruining them, but hell, I didn't care.
I was hurt. PMS and being hurt by the whole Syaoran thing was completely ruining my day. Plus Syaoran's father's death anniversary? Grief, I tell you, grief.
Suddenly I heard a voice calling my name. "Sakura, Sakura?" It was Syaoran. He spotted me sitting on the ground, my face tear-streaked, and knelt down next to me. I immediately looked down, embarrassed. I know he wanted me to look at him, but I couldn't bring myself to explain why I was so angry. Hey, wait, maybe I could.
"Sakura."
I looked up, waiting to do battle and demand, demanding why he didn't tell me about the Tomoyo affair, waiting to yell at him, for him to ask what's wrong, to give me that smile of his. For him to say sorry, for me to say sorry, for me to say my thoughts on the wedding…
But I didn't say anything. My mouth was open, great! Another charming look! I sucked in a breath immediately, a little one, to avoid anyone thinking I was having a heart attack.
His eyes were piercing. His amber eyes immediately met my emerald ones, not avoiding them or dodging them, but piercing right through them, as if it could tell how I felt or what I was thinking.
I looked into his eyes reproachfully mimicking what he was doing. It seemed as if he was searching in my eyes for something, curious, questioning, and searching. I have to admit I felt mesmerized.
Finally our gaze broke. It felt awkward, as if our bodies were being controlled, we had no power, or whatever.
As the reality of my angry, hurt, embarrassed emotions came tumbling back to me, I began to feel ashamed. Ashamed because I wasn't fair to Syaoran. How could I be so bitter and passive thinking and accusing things in my head without considering anything else?
I felt guilty.
"Sakura, are you okay?" Syaoran said gently. Being ashamed, I couldn't bring myself to ask him about Tomoyo. I sighed.
"Yes," I whispered. I face was still red, but in embarrassment.
Syaoran didn't deserve such accusation. He was so nice to me, all these years, for twenty years, actually. He always considered, he was always so thoughtful, unlike me, who would throw myself at such outrageous and thoughtless thoughts.
"Good," Syaoran said, leaned over, and kissed my cheek. I'm sure he thought something was up, but I thought it was so sweet that he didn't say anything.
I loved that Syaoran was so forgiving.
A/N: Intense, eh? I'm proud of myself! 10:51PM I have finished this! Lovely! Oh, just to let you know, Hint About Syaoran and Sakura's feelings: Both are totally clueless.
NEXT CHAPTER: Syaoran's POV or Normal POV, depends. Syaoran's Father's Story continues, Sakura and Syaoran are still confused and clueless! Well it's more of Sakura being clueless and confused…
Reviews appreciated.
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Cherry-chan aka Starfire Star
