Many thanks to all.
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS in any shape or form. I do, however, own this plot.
Italics represent a flashback.
This chapter will be in Syaoran's POV.
Beta Reader: Chibi-Inu13
Perfect Situation
A CCS Fanfic by Starfire Star
Chapter Five: Our Parents Part II
I was concerned about Sakura. She was getting really emotional. Especially that day at work – she was crying. Usually she tries to hide it, but she was crying openly. Perhaps she was worried about the wedding? Was she doubtful about the whole marriage thing? Or was that just my wishful thinking?
Those were the questions I pondered to myself ever since Sakura had the emotional breakdown. I couldn't think of her now, without those glimmering tears streaming down her face. I shook the horrible thought away and kept my eyes on the road. I was driving to my mother's house, for the big day. Yes, the big day, the memorial of my father's death. I did not want to come, but Sakura pushed me into it. She was going, and I was awfully concerned about her. Also, my mother burdened me with the guilt trip. She was saying all this stuff about how I should be there to keep my father's memory alive, I looked and acted so much like him, et cetra, et cetra.
Meiling was also coming, and I saw this as an opportunity to talk with her again. I hadn't seen her in years, we only had contacted via email and phone, and for some reason, she decided to come for this anniversary. She was probably worried about me, as always. She must've heard about Sakura's engagement and everything. Nonetheless, I was still happy to see her.
Sakura, much to my fury and sadness, was bringing the ever so idiotic Hiragizawa to the service. I was annoyed by this. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't show this to Sakura, probably because she was avoiding me for the most part, not wanting to converse, only giving curt little answers. I was going to get to the bottom of this.
I parked my car on the sidewalk, as the driveway already had three cars, one as I recognized, was Eriol's silver Alexis. I glared at the car as I sat in my own, my seatbelt not taken off, as I just sat there. Finally, I gave up glaring at the stupid car and got out. One of the other cars parked in the driveway was my mother's, of course, and another I faintly recognized. I was curious to know who that was.
With careful accurate steps, I stepped onto the porch of my mom's house and took out my keys. I carefully turned the knob and slowly peeked inside the house. My mom was talking to Fujitaka, sitting on the couch in the living room, drinking coffee. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. My mom's eyes flew into the direction I was in, and she immediately stood up and put her smile on. She was dressed in a traditional black dress. She immediately started towards me and said, "Syaoran, I'm so happy you came." She gave me a hug I accepted, and then nodded in Fujitaka's direction.
"So which one of my sisters is coming?" I asked my mom as I sat down.
Before I could answer, a voice said, "Well, of course my—" their footsteps quieted after stopping. I turned around and faced Sakura, arm in arm with Eriol.
"Hey, Sakura," I said quietly as I turned back around. My mom gave me an uneasy stare, and I concentrated on the mug of coffee in my hand and the cut on the other hand.
"Hi," Sakura said stiffly. What was wrong with her? I wanted to stand up and ask what was wrong, what I did, how come she was ignoring me and being so icy. I coughed slightly as Sakura spoke to my mother.
"So Mrs. Li would you li—" her voice was interrupted by the sound of a door being opened and breezing footsteps trotting down the stairs. We all waited, waiting for the appearance of the person who was making all this noise.
It was Tomoyo Daidouji. She floated down the stairs and gleefully flopped on a chair by Fujitaka. She let out a "phew!" and smiled expectantly at everyone around. I caught her eye and she said, directly at me with much cheerfulness, "Hi Syaoran! It's awesome to see you here!" She smiled, her grin huge, her white teeth showing. I shrugged and said, "Hi."
She gave one final gaze at me and then glanced at Sakura, who had let go of the arm of Eriol and was a little to my left now, so I could see her face clearly. Sakura gave Tomoyo a small smile and a tiny, "hello". Her eyes averted from Tomoyo's, and I could see some form of sadness, annoyance, and disgust in her eyes. I was startled. I had never seen Sakura look so unkindly. Well, not exactly look, since I was pretty much "the only one that could see inside her". She had always told me those words when she felt misunderstood.
Her emerald eyes shifted to mine now, and her eyes dropped a little. I was careful not to show a little questioning and concern on my face. She bit her lip and quickly looked away, going back to the arm of Eriol and saying, "Well, Mrs. Li, we'll look for something to do in the kitchen." My mother gave Sakura a confused look and said, "You could cut up some vegetables for a salad, if you'd be so kind."
I immediately glanced at Tomoyo. She had a certain little smirk on her lips, and her eyes, hidden by energy and happiness, were tinged with satisfaction and jealousy. Was Tomoyo jealous of Sakura? I didn't know. I hadn't talked to anyone much last week; I was caught up in my own thoughts.
I almost put on a furious scowl when Eriol said to Sakura, "what a coincidence. Maybe we could talk about catering for our wedding…" They both drifted off. I caught myself just in time, though.
After this tense silence, Fujitaka said, "Touya will be arriving soon, his daughter has a cute new act to put on." My mother laughed, but I could hear the tension in her laugh. I smiled weakly, and turned to my mother. "So, again, which sister of mine is coming?" I stared at the brown liquid in my cup.
"Sheifa and Feimei," my mother responded. "They've decided they'd come this year, and Fuutie and Fanren will come next year." She glanced at me expectantly, waiting for my reaction.
I have to admit, I was a little relieved. Shiefa was closer to my age (not by much, though) than the others, and she often understood things. She knew best to leave me alone. Feimei, on the other hand, would bother me over something for a day or two, then get distracted by something else. They wouldn't be a hassle.
I nodded at my mother. Tomoyo leaned forward eagerly and said, "Your sisters must be nice!" She flashed her movie-star smile at me before looking at my mother. My mother laughed. "They might be what you call enthusiastic."
I wasn't interested in the conversation about my sisters. I found my thoughts drifting to my dad.
I remembered how I blamed myself for a long time after my father's death. I found myself going through outbursts of rage, I would throw my things at the wall, I would let my temper let go loose, and I would throw tantrums. I became a horrible kid. I became depressed. I became cold, I always stayed alone, preferred to be by myself. Sakura, believe it or not, was the only one who I wanted to talk to. I didn't like school; I didn't like answering the questions my teachers asked me.
I didn't want pity taken on me. Many people thought I was a brat and I wanted people to feel sorry for me, but I actually hated that. I hated when people kept consoling me. I hated it when people talked about my father.
I especially hated soccer.
Soccer was my enemy. I quit the team. I was so stubborn, I hated my father for not being able to come to my soccer game, and that's what killed him. I hated the damn game. I watched with cold eyes (when I was younger) at my classmates who ran around, kicking the ball, their fathers eagerly watching them and cheering them on. I turned away with disgust.
I couldn't quite forgive myself after that. Yes, I came to love soccer again, but only because Sakura persuaded me to do, and I knew I wanted to. And because she lost her mother, I wanted to do something that she wanted me to do. I knew she wanted me to let go of past memories and confront everything. So I played soccer again. The first few times, not enthusiastically and grudgingly, I kicked the ball around, not daring to chase after it. Then slowly, I became more enthusiastic, willing to practice, willing to shoot a goal, with Sakura, even though she was in pain, cheering me on.
She was in pain because her mother died.
When we were thirteen, her mother committed suicide.
Nadeshiko Kinomoto was always a happy woman. She would be along for every field trip, she would always being the volunteering parent in Sakura's class. She offered to drive me home, to baby-sit when my mom had to do the late night news. She would let me sleep over, she would mend my clothes. She was basically the other half of my mother. Ever since my father died, my mother had to work twice as hard, and ended up doing the news more than twice a day. So Nadeshiko basically took over.
After my father's death, she was there at 2:00 in the morning, when my mother was crying, to console her and comfort her.
I woke up, blankets clutched tightly around me, to hear the sound of tears. Loud sobs echoed from my mother's room, ringing in my ears as I heard them loudly in this seemingly empty house.
I climbed out of bed. Rubbing my eyes, I made my way to my mother's room, and slowly peeked inside. My mother was sitting on her bed, head in her hands, hair over her face.
"Mom?" I whispered. I was startled as my mother quickly snapped up her head and said, "Syaoran. Go back to bed."
"Are you okay, mom?" I said, ever so persistent as I opened the door fully and tiptoed inside.
"I'm fine. Now go back to bed. You're going to wake your sisters," my mom said with a tiny smile. Her face was red, and down her face came free flowing teardrops.
"Okay."
But I didn't go to bed. Quietly, I tiptoed to the phone in the kitchen, and without turning the lights on, dialed Sakura's number. I was hoping that the Kinomotos wouldn't be the least bit aggravated.
"Hello?" a voice sleepily answered. "Who's there?"
"Mrs. Kinomoto?" I said, relieved it wasn't Touya. If it was Touya I knew he would be shouting in the phone.
"Oh! Syaoran, is that you?" Mrs. Kinomoto said, her voice fully awake now, in concern.
"Yes."
"If everything okay?"
"Well, um…" I hesitated, wondering if my mom would be angry or annoyed at me. "Could you come over? My mom is crying. She's sad." I could hear voices in the background now, one, I recognized, as being Fujitaka's, and the other, Sakura's.
"Yes, I'll come," Nadeshiko replied, not sounding the least bit pained. I hung up the phone and climbed back into bed. The Kinomotos had a spare key to our house, in case of an emergency. And if this wasn't an emergency, I didn't know what was.
I clutched the sheets tightly around me as I lay back in bed, looking at the poster of the spaceship from across the room on the wall.
I heard the sound of jingling keys at the door, followed by the door creaking it's way open. My mom must've heard it because the next thing I heard were quick, heavy footsteps.
I quickly scrambled out of bed and followed my mother. I must've been pretty loud too because my mother turned around and looked at me. She didn't say a word, so I took that as permission to follow. We continued and in the front foyer, I saw Nadeshiko and Sakura, Sakura whispering quickly and softly to her mother.
"Nadeshiko—" My mom began. Sakura grinned and waved at me, a gesture I thought was odd, but I waved back. Nadeshiko nodded politely and said, "Oh, Yelan. Syaoran called to tell me you were having tro—"
That did it for my mother. She burst into tears. Nadeshiko slowly walked towards us and put opened her arms. She gave my mother a hug. Nadeshiko led my mother to the couch in the living room and handed her a pillow, then made her way to the kitchen. She glanced at me and Sakura and said, "I'm going to the kitchen to make some tea. Do you two want a snack?"
I shook my head no; Sakura eagerly nodded yes.
As Sakura followed her mother to the kitchen, I looked at my own mother. She was a mess, she looked awfully distraught. She clutched a wrinkled tissue in one hand, and the pillow case of the pillow in the other. She saw me looking at her and whispered, "Oh, Syaoran, I'm so sorry you have to see me like this." She gave me a hopeless smile. "Maybe you should go off to bed now, you must be tired."
I shrugged and without any words, climbed back into my bed. My eyes once again met the poster of the spaceship on the wall.
After a few moments of imagining myself going into the spaceship and flying to mars, I heard a voice whisper, "Hey! Move over! Make room for me!" Startled, I turned around and saw Sakura, her hands on her hips. "Move over now." I scooted over and felt the blanket being pulled across me.
We just lay there in silence.
Sakura coughed then said, "So, Syaoran, ever think of rejoining the soc—" she began to say. I knew what was coming. I was going to turn her offer down again.
"No, Sakura. I'm not joining. I don't care," I rolled over, my back to her. Sakura said sharply, "It's not your fault, Syaoran. He didn't die because of you. It was just his time."
No, I thought silently to myself.
"I don't think so. If I hadn't played soccer, this wouldn't have happened." I turned over to face her, my voice hardening.
"Soccer had nothing to do with it," Sakura said softly, her voice serious, but soft, and her eyes glimmering in the moonlight.
"Yes it did."
"No, it didn't."
I was about to respond with a final statement that would end the silly conversation, when I felt small arms slip around me. Sakura was giving me a hug. She smiled at me, and whispered, "You know. You just don't want to admit it."
She closed her eyes. I shivered. Maybe sleep would come after all. I closed my eyes, and wrapped my arms around her, hugging back. But she was already asleep.
As Sakura and I grew up, Nadeshiko continued to slip away from us. In the year before her death, when she was with us, it felt like all energy was being sucked away. Her usually warm face was replaced by pale, sullen eyes and cheekbones, and she never smiled. She was always cold. Usually, she would always turn down my mother's offers of coming over for a cup of coffee or doing the groceries together.
We all knew something was wrong. We just didn't want to admit it.
Around the time we were eleven, Sakura's mother became pregnant again. Everyone knew that Nadeshiko wanted to have many children. She was so cheerful around kids. It wasn't exactly a secret in the small town of Tomoeda.
But Nadeshiko kept having miscarriages. I knew it pained Sakura when she found out her mother wasn't going to have a baby when they had prepared for it and everything. The whole town of Tomoeda knew this too. There was gossip and rumors, and I knew it pained the Kinomoto family when the rumors came around and they heard them.
I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard the doorbell ring. I jumped up, startled, and my mother nodded at me to get the door.
Takashi Yamazaki was standing at the doorway, arm in arm with his wife, Chiharu Mihara. "Konnichiwa," he greeted me.
Takashi Yamazaki was one of my close friends. I met him just before Sakura and I graduated University. I hadn't talked to him in quite sometime, mainly because he was busy with married life and is expecting a baby in May.
"Hey," I said as I stepped aside to let him and Chiharu inside.
"Hey, I'm sorry about your loss," Yamazaki said to me, giving a pat on my shoulder before greeting my mom.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
Just then I heard a loud groan from the kitchen. I came in just in time to see Eriol holding up his hand, one of his fingers cut badly. It was a struggle to keep myself from smirking.
"What's going on?" said a voice. It was Tomoyo, who was right behind me. Her eyes grew wide as she saw the cut. "Oh my! Are you okay? I'll get a band-aid!" She dashed out of the kitchen and immediately asked my mom where the band-aids were.
"Eriol, you need to be more careful," Sakura said gently as she took a look at his hand. I gritted my teeth.
"I was being careful!" Eriol growled in annoyance. "The knives are too sharp!"
"It had nothing to do with the knives," Sakura said carefully, running Eriol's finger under water now.
"Then what was it? My lack of skill with a knife?" Eriol spat. Sakura's eyes grew wide. She dropped Eriol's hand.
"Oh, sorry, hun," Eriol quickly apologized, seeing Sakura's face. "I'm just not a good cook, that was the only class I failed, I—"
Trust Eriol to be modest. He was being rude to Sakura! What kind of fiancée would be so rude? I opened my mouth to say something, but Sakura's voice interrupted.
"It's alright," She said with a small smile.
Tomoyo came rushing in, her face tinged red, out of breath, as if she had been running around and searching for a band-aid all over the place.
"I got one!" Tomoyo exclaimed as she rushed up to Eriol and Sakura, thrusting the band-aid into Eriol's good hand.
"Thank you Tomoyo," Eriol said with a smile. "Although I can't exactly put a band-aid on with one hand."
Tomoyo was about to say something when Sakura interrupted again. "I'll put it on."
Man. Eriol sure had mood swings.
"I'll help with the chopping, then," Tomoyo said quickly as she picked up the bloodied knife and washed it in the sink.
I caught Sakura's eye. She shrugged and gave me a look that said, 'What?'
The bell rang. Startled, I whipped around and immediately moved my legs in the direction of the door.
I realized I was going to have to open the door for a thousand more guests. So why not I just stand next to the door?
I slowly opened the door. It was pushed open with force, followed by a squeal and a powerful hug, knocking me over. "Syaoran!" a familiar voice squealed. I had my eyes closed in fear of myself getting hurt. I opened them.
"Meiling-chan."
A/N: Konnichiwa! Hehe, I'm evil, ne? I bring so many characters in the plot… oooh this is going to be good snicker. Well, what happens next you ask? You'll see when I conjure (write) up my next evil concoction (chapter). Let's just say… Meiling makes things even more complicated. Don't worry, the two cousins aren't together. You'll see hee hee
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