Dappledpaw must have fallen asleep at some point, because eventually Sedgepaw was there, gently shaking her awake. "They're going to hold Kowhaifall's vigil soon. Icestar called a meeting." His soft voice roused her from sleep. She had been dreaming, but nothing she could place; it was dark and twisting.
"I'm up…" She muttered, blinking a few times to allow Sedgepaw's pelt to come into focus. It was now dusk. She had been asleep for quite a while.
"You were sleeping when I got back, Weedfur told me to let you, but I figured you'd want to be awake for this." Sedgepaw was far more subdued than he usually was. His ears were flat and droopy, his tail hanging limp instead of aloft with his usual pep.
"Yeah… Thanks…" She stood, stretching each limb one at a time, and realising just how stiff and achy she felt from the morning's hunt. "Are you okay?"
"Don't worry about me." He shrugged. "...It's just… sad. Rowanpaw is our friend, even if he likes to pretend he isn't. I'm worried about him. And I liked Kowhaifall…" He glanced towards where her body lay as he mentioned her, swallowing then looking back.
Dappledpaw touched noses with her brother, reassuring him, and herself. "Yeah, me too."
"May all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather before the High Stone for a clan meeting!" Icestar's voice rang out, clear across the camp. He was already standing up on the large rock formation that towered out from the location of his den. Sorrelwind was at the base of the formation, her tail curled around her paws, but otherwise giving off her usual calm authority.
The clan gathered in a tense, mournful silence. Every cat was present, save for Wekadash, who stayed back in the nursery with the kits. Even Rowanpaw was sitting off to one side, Longfang watching him carefully in his shadow. He looked drained. When Wattleflower came over to her son, he seemed to send her away.
Dappledpaw and Sedgepaw took a spot nearby, tails intertwined. Shadefeather came up next to her two older kits, licking both their foreheads like they were little again. Mottledtail joined her sister, giving her a gentle shove and a weak grin towards Dappledpaw and Sedgepaw. Thrushwing came over as well, sitting on the other side of his mate and giving his grown children a little nod; the whole family sat together for reassurance.
The clan all made room around Kowhaifall, who was close to the base of the High Stone. Rimuleaf and Horsefoot seemed to have not left her side all day. Horsefoot did not even look up as his leader spoke.
"Cats of Gorseclan, today we have endured a great tragedy, with the loss of Kowhaifall; a talented young warrior with a bright future ahead… as well as her unborn litter. Future warriors who will now never be. A great loss to the future of our clan indeed…" He bowed his head a moment, the clan mimicking his action as a sign of respect. "Our hearts beat strongly as one, aching in sympathy." His deep rumbling voice reverberated off the stone in the camp.
"As one…" Some of the clan murmured in agreement; echoing the leader's words. Horsefoot still had not moved. Blackbird crouched down beside his brother and licked his ears, trying to offer him some comfort.
"Before those closest to her say their last goodbyes tonight, before her spirit takes its final journey to Starclan, there is one more thing we must acknowledge…" He looked towards where Rowanpaw sat; his ears angled towards the leader's words but looking at his paws instead. "Her apprentice, Rowanpaw." Rowanpaw startled a bit at his own name, looking towards the High Stone. "Rowanpaw put himself at risk, bringing her home today… showing the loyalty and strength of body and self we value here in Gorseclan… And that is why I hope Kowhaifall will watch over us today before her final journey to the stars, and approve making her apprentice a warrior." He inclined his head towards her body solemnly.
Rowanpaw looked shocked. "Icestar, I don't deserve-'' He wasn't allowed to finish his protest. Icestar lifted a paw and fixed him with a hard stare, one that, surprisingly to Dappledpaw, made Rowanpaw flinch, his eyes going wide a moment.
"As far as I am concerned, Rowanpaw, you have fulfilled any requirement that Gorseclan requires in its warriors." He said firmly. "Kowhaifall knew you were ready. Respect her spirit and accept graciously."
Well, how could he say no to that? "Of course Icestar." The red tom murmured, bowing his head as he got to his feet. He still looked a little unsteady as he approached the High Stone, while Icestar hopped down from the formation.
When Rowanpaw came to rest standing in front of Icestar, the white tom lifted his muzzle to the darkening sky. The first stars were coming out. "I, Icestar, leader of Gorseclan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn." Icestar began the traditional words of the warrior ceremony. Despite everything, Dappledpaw couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. "Rowanpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?"
Rowanpaw seemed to hesitate, for only a moment, he then met Icestar's eye steadily. "I do."
"Then by the powers of Starclan, I give you your warrior name. Rowanpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Rowanfall." He named the new warrior in honour of his fallen mentor. This finally got Horsefoot to lift his head; hollow eyes fixing on the newly named Rowanfall as Icestar finished the ceremonial words. "StarClan honours your intelligence and determination, and we welcome you as a full warrior of Gorseclan."He rested his muzzle atop Rowanfall's head, then the red tom licked his leader's shoulder, and stepped back, allowing the clan to then welcome their new warrior.
Normally the cheers of the cats of the clan welcoming a new warrior were cacophonous; Gorseclan were a rowdy bunch, after all. This time though, as Rowanfall's name echoed around the camp, there wasn't the same enthusiasm in it; except perhaps from his mother. As her single surviving kit, she was no doubt so proud of him the circumstances didn't matter as much. Dappledpaw cheered with the rest, alongside her brother, who was more enthusiastic than her.
Truth be told, she could help but stew internally. It should be all three of them getting their names. They all deserved it, not just Rowanpaw. And then she immediately felt sick for feeling that way. His mentor was dead for Starclan's sake. She shouldn't feel resentful that he was made a warrior for something like this!
"In light of the situation, Rowanfall will sit his traditional vigil tomorrow, so that he may mourn tonight as normal." He nodded his head to the young warrior, who silently moved to join Rimuleaf and Horsefoot at Kowhaifall's body. Icestar watched them a moment, considering, then looked around the gathered clan. "It is time for Kowhaifall's final night among us. Say your goodbyes." Then, with a sweep of his tail, the meeting was done. Icestar moved to join Sorrelwind, taking in hushed tones with her as they moved towards his den.
The clan all came over to Kowhaifall; touching noses one last time and offering the odd word or lick of her tasselled long fur, which had been immaculately cleaned up at this stage. Dappledpaw followed behind Sedgepaw's turn, bending down to touch her nose to her forehead. "I wish we had gotten to train again…" She murmured to her. "Starclan light your path." Dappledpaw may not be a strong believer, but Kowhaifall had been faithful, and shes didn't know what else to say in this situation…
After the whole clan was done with their final goodbyes, only those closest to her would remain for her final night; Horsefoot, Rimuleaf, Rowanpaw, Sheercrag; Kowhaifall's mentor, and Blackbird (staying both for her brother, and her lost close friend) all remained. Kowhaifall and Rimuleaf's mother had died of sickness moons ago, and nobody even knew who their father was. If he was in the clan, it seemed he had no intention of revealing himself, even now. Icestar had already made his way towards the main camp entrance for his guard of honour. He sat himself down, and bowed his head slightly.
Shadefeather gave each of her grown kits a final lick, then left to go be with her younger litter. And then, Dappledpaw and Sedgepaw were alone in front of the apprentices' den. Both let out a sigh, moving into the den to get ready to sleep. "Weird." Sedgepaw mumbled as they entered, poking what was Rowanfall's nest. He still looked deflated. "Now it's just us in here."
"Hopefully we will be gone before Honeykit and Pebblekit are made apprentices…" She returned quietly, rearranging her moss, and the plucked rabbit fur that lined it for extra softness. She hoped someone brought her rabbit in for the fresh-kill pile after all that. It would be a shame to waste it.
Sedgepaw paused and threw her a sidelong glance. "You're not jealous are you?" He looked mildly horrified. "Dappledpaw, come on…"
"I'm not!" She shot back defensively, hissing so she didn't raise her voice too much.
"You're using that pouty voice you make when things don't go your way!" Sedgepaw returned in hushed tones. "I know you what to be a warrior and all but Rowan-"
"Has just been through something horrible and Kowhaifall is dead. I get it." She huffed, flopping into her nest. She already felt gross for even thinking that they all deserved to be warriors now, in these tragic circumstances. But she couldn't help how she felt. She couldn't help this was now the second warrior test that didn't end in her and Sedgepaw getting their names. It was all she had been raised for, trained for. She was supposed to be talented; special, and yet here she was, still an apprentice. "Just drop it okay; I don't need you to lecture me." Sullen, she turned her back on her brother and threw her tail over her face, done with this conversation.
She shut her eyes tight, hearing Sedgepaw shuffle uncomfortably behind her. He took in an intake of breath here and there, like he was going to try talking, but then thought better of it. The sound followed of him lying down in his own nest. His breaths eventually evened out.
Dappledpaw wondered if she would sleep.
-
A few days after Kowhaifall was buried, Rowanfall was physically recovered. Longfang had cleared him for warrior work the day prior, yet, he had not gone out to hunt, or on patrol. Every time Dappledpaw returned to camp, he was still there. He wasn't even lying outside the warrior den, just off to the side by the fallen log where Kowhaifall used to share tongues with her friend group. Horsefoot sometimes joined him in a silent mourning; two ghosts of their former selves.
It was getting really depressing to watch.
So when she returned from a morning hunt at the peak of the day, ready to rest and relax, seeing him sulking there once again, she couldn't help but finally reach the end of her patience. She dropped her prey on the pile and with a flick of her tail, stalked over.
"Dappledpaw, don't…" Sedgepaw moaned, seeing where she was going as he passed by at Weedfur's side, but she ignored him.
She stopped just short of the red tom's paws, where he was lying listlessly; his head on his crossed front legs, eyes glazed. "Okay, you are officially ticking me off."
He blinked and stared up at her. "...What?" His voice lacked any of the usual back-sass she was used to, and sounded more like a sigh than anything. Her tail twitched.
"You. Are. Ticking. Me. Off!" She spat at him, ears flatting. "You're moping around here like a useless lump of fur!"
His eyes sharpened a bit, and he lifted his head. "I'm-"
"Grieving." She cut him off. "And I get it; you're allowed to feel sad, Rowanfall. Your mentor was a good cat, but sitting here all day isn't going to make you feel any better."
He looked away again, head returning to his paws, voice becoming choked with emotion as he spoke again. "She said I was like a son to her… and I couldn't even save her… I saw her fall, you know. She was scrambling and I tried to reach her but she fell."
That emotional vulnerability along with the extra details of what happened took Dappledpaw aback somewhat. She expected him to get defensive, to curse and yell at her, not that. She swallowed awkwardly in the following silence, then with a sigh, crouched down near where he lay, causing him to shuffle back slightly.
"Look. I'm not going to pretend to understand what you're going through, or get all mushy about it. Fact is it's happened." Icestar always told her there was no point in dwelling on the past, and only to look to the future. "Kowhaifall is gone, but do you really think she'd be happy to see you lying around in a stupor like this?" When Rowanfall didn't answer her, she shoved his shoulder with a paw, not entirely gently, which made him snap his gaze back to her in a shadow of his usual annoyance. "Do you?"
"...No." He finally answered in a mutter.
"No." She repeated. "She'd be proud you're a warrior now. She'd want you to keep going and be the best warrior you can be." She shoved him again and stood up. "So get up and get over yourself, because it's what Kowhaifall would want." This getting all too much into a state of openness Dappledpaw wasn't comfortable with had her return to her usual arrogant air, lifting her tail and nose upwards and started trotting off, calling back over her shoulder. "And it's getting really depressing to watch; everyone is just too nice to say something. You aren't much good as a rival like this."
And so she left him like that, hearing him sit up behind her and feeling his eyes on her back as she headed towards where Sedgepaw was already sharing tongues with Mottledtail. Good, hopefully that got him moving. Even Horsefoot was still performing his duties, though in his case Dappledpaw figured he maybe just wanted to be kept busy.
That afternoon, Rowanfall left camp to go hunting, telling Icestar it would be good to clear his head. When Dappledpaw came back after a hunting session of her own, Icestar helping carry the prey she had caught, Dappledpaw noticed him also dropping something on the fresh kill pile ahead. Good, she thought to herself. Maybe that would break him out of his funk.
"Dappledpaw, drop your kills on the pile." Icestar told her as he handed the prey he was carrying over to her, his eyes also lingering on Rowanfall a moment before looking back to her. "I'm going to call a meeting since it seems like everyone is back. You can eat afterwards." She nodded, wondering what Icestar's meeting could be about this time. Nothing had really happened since Kowhaifall's death. At least that she knew about. And as much as she hated to admit it, as an apprentice -even Icestar's apprentice- there was plenty she didn't know about.
Icestar hopping up onto the High Stone and calling a meeting caused inevitable murmurs in the camp as the cats gathered around its base, curious as Dappledpaw was as to the cause. Many looked worried; tensions were still high after losing one of their own, and the bloody incident at their border with the strange cats.
"I first want to reassure all members of the clan that everything is being done to find the rogues responsible for the incident at our Flaxclan border, though at this stage, no further signs of these strange cats have been detected. It is possible they have left our borders, though I encourage caution until we can be sure; do not travel alone along our eastern border... I will be bringing this up at the next Gathering. If word about the attack on Flaxclan is true, I fear these cats will not just pack up and leave." Icestar began, seeking to soothe nerves in the clan while also still maintaining alertness. The clan needed to be prepared, not panicked, and luckily Icestar was a strong and calm presence for the clan to latch onto.
"In regards to the kit, related to that incident… Wekadash tells me he is strong and doing well, and Longfang has confirmed he is physically unharmed. As such, with no clear home for him to return to, Gorseclan will officially take him into our clan. I give this kit the name of Ringkit, for his thickly striped tail." It was unusual for a leader to announce newly named kits, but then that was normally done by the parents, and the circumstances were so unusual… "May he grow up a strong Gorseclan warrior under our protection, as Kowhaifall wished for him." He bowed his head a moment, out of respect for the fallen warrior's name; many of the clan followed suit.
With that, the short meeting was over. Ringkit becoming an official member of the clan left the mood more positive than when it had started. Icestar didn't really need to announce that, but it had been good for morale. Smart, Dappledpaw thought.
She passed by Rowanfall, who was watching the leader's den entrance where Icestar had vanished. His expression was intense, but quite unreadable. "What?" Dappledpaw queried, peering at him.
"Oh, nothing." He answered evasively, breaking off the hard stare. "Was just lost in thought."
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah, actually. I guess I just needed to get out of camp." He huffed back. "Not that I appreciate the way you went about it."
She scoffed. "I'm not going to groom your ears and tell you everything is alright; this isn't Fernclan." Dappledpaw blinked at the red tom, and when the words she expected didn't come she flicked her tail in his direction. "Going to thank me?"
"No." Rowanfall answered flatly, staring at her sidelong.
"What were you thinking about?" She insisted.
"I'd say none of your business but I know that won't get rid of you." He returned to the tortoiseshell. "I was thinking about asking to mentor Ringkit, when he's old enough."
"Oh?" Was that all? "Kowhaifall would like that, I'm sure."
"Yeah." He padded off, heading towards where his parents had settled down to eat. "Now stop sticking your nose in, apprentice."
Ah, that was more like it.
