"Oh, this is a bad idea," I groaned leaning back against Dimitri, "A very bad idea."

"Don't worry, she won't start anything. I won't let her," Dimitri soothed, rubbing his thumb over the small of my back.

Dad snorted and shook his head. "Please, you are three sheets to wind just like Rose."

I rolled my eyes and stood up straighter as the person I'd been avoiding all night made their way over.

"Dad," I groaned, looking at him pleadingly.

"Easy, kiz. Everything will be fine. Just don't swing at her when she calls you Rosemarie," Dad soothed, squeezing my shoulder. I huffed and downed the last mouthful of my glass as set the empty crystal behind me. I shook my head and sighed, plastering a neutral expression on my face.

She didn't look much different than she did last year. Her hair had a few streaks of silver in it, but other than that she looked the same always.

"Dimitri, you have hosted another lovely event," Janine addressed Dimitri first, giving him a polite smile. Dimitri gave her a polite smile in return while he continued to hold his hand in place on my back.

"Thank you, Janine. We appreciate your support," Dimitri said, referring to the support of the charity. From what Dimitri had briefly gone over with me, Janine was a substantial benefactor and has been since he started it. Janine nodded and let her eyes wander onto me for a moment.

"You should be congratulating him instead, Janine. He is your future son-in-law," Dad said proudly, clapping his hand on Dimitri's shoulder.

Great. Thanks for that Dad.

I cleared my throat and looked at him pointedly, raising my brows at him while Dimitri chuckled and kissed my temple teasingly.

"Oh?" Janine said with surprise, looking from Dad to Dimitri and then to me. Her lips twitched and she took a slow breath. "You're getting married?"

"Yes," I said shifting beside Dimitri uncomfortably. I wasn't sure where she was going to go with that. There was a thick air of awkwardness between the four of us, me and Dad looking at each other before Dad opened his mouth.

"Janine. You had something you wanted to talk to kiz about?" he prompted, clearing his throat and squeezed my shoulder. I cleared my throat and looked at him before looking at Janine. She blushed a little at being put on the spot but gave me a tight smile. What was he up to?

"Yes. I wanted to speak with you privately if you have a moment?"

I looked from Dad to Dimitri before sighing internally. I didn't really want to start something tonight. But it was time to put on the big girl panties and try to talk it over. I nodded and directed her towards one of the side rooms and crossed my arms over my stomach and waited for her to speak.

"How have you been?" she asked awkwardly as she sat down in a chair, playing with the band on her middle finger. Glancing at it, I recognized it. It was one of the rings Dad had bought her, and I had helped him pick it out. I think that particular one was a fifteenth wedding anniversary. It was one of my favourite pieces of jewelry she owned. It was silver bands woven together in a vine like design with small diamonds and emeralds set sporadically throughout. A ring to match her Gaelic heritage.

"I've been fine? You?" I replied, but it sounded like a question instead.

She nodded and looked back down at the ring on her finger. "I've been better," she said slowly, looking up at me with a look that was scarce on her face. Guilt.

"I know that you probably don't want to hear it, but I miss you."

I raised my brows at her in confusion. "Pardon me?"

Janine frowned and tucked some of her hair away from her face. "I know that things didn't end well between us, but I wish that night had never happened. I miss my daughter and I hate that I'm missing out on your life."

I shook my head and sighed. "I can't just pretend what you said never happened, Janine. I mean, you kicked me out a week after my daughter died, and then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault I was raped. That's a lot of damage to repair," I said a little harshly, feeling anger flare in my chest.

Janine nodded her head and had an understanding look on her face. "I know that. But I would like to try to explain my behaviour if you'll let me?"

I looked at her squarely and searched her face. She wasn't guarded like she was the last few times I saw her. She was forcing herself to be open with me. I gave her a small nod, licking my lips nervously.

"Do you know what a Meningioma is?" Janine asked quietly, looking down at her hands in her lap. I chewed on my lips and shook my head. I had heard the word before but didn't know what exactly it meant.

"Meningioma is a type of brain tumour. Most people don't exhibit symptoms. I was showing symptoms around the time Jenny died and didn't know it," Janine explained. I shook my head and let my arms drop from around my stomach.

"What does that mean?"

Janine shifted in her chair and pushed the one beside her towards me. I looked at it but sat down in it anyways.

"A Meningioma is usually found just under the skull. I thought that the difficulty with memory was age and the weakness in my legs was from overworking myself. But when I had a seizure a month or so after you left, I got concerned. It got to the point where I was having difficulty speaking too."

"When I was going through treatment, it became apparent that the tumour had affected my personality and behaviour. And the more we did evaluations, the more I realized that I had had this for at least a year or two."

I stared at her without knowing what to say. I felt like I wasn't exactly hearing what she was saying.

"I don't understand. How could something like that happen?"

Janine shook her head. "We did a lot of tests. For some people, it's from exposure to x-rays or genetics. For some people it's random and just happens. It's not genetic in my case, so you don't need to stress that it may happen to you too. But thankfully, it was benign. It's not an excuse for my behaviour and the things I said to you after Jenny died, but I wish I could talk it all back. It was like I was watching a person that had my face and voice; speaking and moving and it was like I didn't recognize myself."

I stared blankly ahead of me and tried to process what she was saying when a staff member walked by holding a tray of drinks. I called out to grab her attention and snatched two glasses from them and sat back down, setting one in front of Janine and drank from mine. Janine shook her head and sat up straighter in her chair.

"Do you still have it? The tumour I mean?"

"No," Janine said shaking her head, "it was removed after radiation treatment."

I nodded and took another sip from my glass. "It's a lot to take in."

Janine let out a humourless chuckle. "Believe me. I understand completely. You seem to be taking it better than your father though."

"Oh?"

"Your father didn't find out until a few months ago when something got sent to him by mistake. A simple mix-up with your father's email and my doctors. He was a lot more vocal. And a little pissed off that I didn't tell him."

"You weren't going to tell him?"

"No. We weren't in a good place. He had already done up a separation agreement. I didn't think he'd want to know."

I screwed my lips together and looked down at the bottom of my glass as I mulled through everything she had said. And it hit me. Despite everything that had happened, I would have wanted to know.

"So all of the issues with you not remember things that I had said to you before then, and the swing in your behaviour. It was the tumour?"

"Some of it. We both know that I had a short fuse before then, but it seems like the tumour exasperated that," Janine said.

I nodded and looked down at my hands, the words rolling around in my head that I was scared to voice, but desperately wanted to know.

"So…you didn't mean what you said that night?"

Janine's face crumbled and she shook her head, a pleading look in her eyes. "No. I didn't. The guilt I feel over that night makes me sick sometimes."

"And the way you were at the event last year?"

Janine had a sheepish look. "I'll admit I was not having a good night. I was nervous when I saw you and well, we all know how I get when I'm uncomfortable."

"You get blunt," I finished draining the last of my glass. I frowned at it and set it down. I needed to slow down.

"I'm not the only one," Janine mumbled under her breath with a small smile. I chuckled and shook my head. She was right, she wasn't the only one in this room who got like that.

"I don't think that I can forgive all of that so quickly," I said plainly, being blunt with her. Janine nodded her head in understanding.

"I understand that. And I do want you to know that I am happy for you and Dimitri. He's a really good man."

"He is. He really is. I couldn't ask for anyone better."

"And his child? You are okay with being a mother to his child? After everything?"

I felt a small smile cross my lips. "Our child. It's how we met, actually. I was going to donate my eggs and it turned out that I was a perfect match for a client that was looking for a surrogate. That person turned out to be Dimitri. We started getting closer and well… now we're engaged," I explained toying with my necklace. "Her name is Sofia."

A genuine smile crossed Janine's face. "That's a beautiful name. It's one of my favourites actually. I almost named you that," she said fondly, relaxing in her chair and propping her head upon her hand. That shift in posture shot me back to my early high school mornings sitting with her in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee before school.

"I know," I chuckled, "Dad told me when I told him what we were naming her."

Janine smiled and nodded her head, her eyes wandering over me before around the room. A tell that told me she was feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

"But she's healthy?"

I smiled and nodded my head. "Yeah. She'll be eight months at the end of the month. She's starting to pull herself up on the coffee table, and she loves to walk on our feet. It's comical watching Dimitri try and do that with her. It's usually easier if I do it," I said with a laugh, shaking me head. Dimitri practically had to bend all the way over to do it.

I watched a flicker of relief cross her face but it stayed in her eyes. She was genuinely happy to hear that.

"So. I see that you and Dad were kind of chummy earlier," I said changing the subject, trying not to laugh at what I was saying. Janine blushed a little.

"We've been talking a bit, but I think that it's just because he feels bad from not knowing what was happening."

Or he misses you, I thought to myself. My parents were sweethearts right out of college. They met a few weeks into their first year the rest was history. I gave her a looked with raised brows and shook my head before standing up.

"I think we should return to the party," I said, giving both of us an out. We didn't have many other things to talk about right now. Janine stood up and followed, but reached her hand out only to pull it back. I looked at her and waited, not sure exactly what she wanted to do. Janine looked hesitant for a second before stepping closer and wrapped her arm around me, hugging me awkwardly. I wrapped my arm around her and returned the hug, allowing myself the comfort I wanted all those years ago for a brief moment.

"Maybe when you're ready, we can talk again? Work on things?"

I nodded and tucked my chin against her shoulder. "I'd like that."

Baby steps.


A groan broke me out of sleep, and I voiced my own groan. My head felt like it was made of cement, and someone was whacking it with a golf club.

I buried my face under my pillow and tried to calm the sea that was sloshing around in my head when another groan rattled through it and the bed moved.

"Stop!" I moaned.

"Oh, my head," Dimitri mumbled, rolling again and I felt his arm rest over my back.

"Stop moving the bed. You're going to make me puke," I pleaded, stuffing the pillow tighter over my head. The bed didn't move so much anymore, but I felt a lazy kiss against my shoulder before a hot body curled against mine.

"I'm never drinking again," Dimitri grumbled against my shoulder. I wanted to nod in agreeance but knew better. It would just hurt. I peeled my eyes open and pulled the pillow off of my head to look at Dimitri.

"Me neither. Oh God, Sofia will be up any minute," I whined, not prepared for our very happy, very vocal baby who would be waking soon.

"I guess it's a good thing I stayed, huh?"

I looked over at Adrian standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. "You two look like shit."

Dimitri fired something back at him, but I wasn't sure what it was. It sounded like garbled Russian. Adrian laughed and retorted back at him before switching to English.

"You two smell like a distillery. Go shower and then come eat. I'm making the best hangover cure possible."

I frowned and rested my head back down on the mattress, working the kinks out of my shoulders as I stretched my arms out. The thought of food wasn't great, but it was definitely needed. I slowly pushed myself up and yawned, running my hands through my crazed hair and looked down at Dimitri who was still laying on his stomach.

"C'mon. You'll feel better after a shower," I said softly, not wanting to make my headache or his worse. Dimitri cracked an eye open and looked at me as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. I came to a stop in front of him and smirked down at him. He looked as tired as I felt as he blankly looked in front of him before pulling himself up. He staggered a little on his feet and gripped onto my shoulder for a second before righting himself.

I smirked at him, finding a small amount of humour in his lapse of the normal godliness I'm used to seeing from him. Dimitri's hand slipped down from my shoulder to my wrist and pulled me with him towards the bathroom.

I fumbled with my clothes as I peeled them off of myself, surprised that I managed to put pyjamas on last night, to begin with. I let them drop to the ground and followed Dimitri into the shower, wrapping my arms around his waist almost immediately.

The water was hot and I sighed as it poured over my back as we stood there, letting the water waking us up a bit more. I rested my head against his chest and sighed, letting the water spill down around my face. I turned my head the slightest bit and rubbed the tip of my nose against his skin, pressing a quick kiss there before lifting my head up as his fingers slipped into my hair.

The smell of my shampoo hit my senses and I smiled up at Dimitri as he worked the shampoo against my scalp, massaging his fingers soothingly. I loved it when he did that, it always felt amazing when he worked his fingers against my scalp. One of these days I would do the same for him. But I don't think bending over in his state was the best idea.

When he thoroughly worked the soap through my hair and tipped my head back to rinse the suds out of my hair, I smiled up at him when he already had the conditioner in his hand. I let him run the conditioner through my hair and grabbed his body wash and squirted some onto my palms, running them over his chest and shoulders, hoping that the familiar smell would help ease the hangover feeling. Sometimes all you need is a good shower when you're hungover.

I looked at my hands as I let them move over his chest and caught the flicker of the diamond on my finger. I smiled to myself as I looked at it. It looked like it belonged there.

"Do you like it?" Dimitri asked quietly, already moving onto my body wash and soaped my shoulders and back.

"I love it," I said tipping my head back so that I could give him a kiss. Dimitri made a humming noise in the back of his throat and pulled me flushed to him, cupping my jaw softly.

"Did you think I wasn't going to like it?"

"No," Dimitri replied kissing my lips again, "I just wasn't completely sure. I sort of went into it blind."

"Well, you did perfect."

Dimitri nodded with a grimace at the movement and but moved us both back under the stream to rinse off the soap and I rinsed out the conditioner. Dimitri worked a bit of shampoo through his hair and rinsed it out before turning the tap off and opening the door. My skin puckered at the cool air of the bathroom and I quickly reached for my bathrobe and tied it tightly around me and worked a towel through my hair.

Dimitri pulled on a pair of sweat pants and looked for a bottle of Advil in the cabinet as I pulled on some clothes, gratefully taking two tablets from Dimitri and swallowing them. With another kiss to my head, Dimitri guided me out to the kitchen where our happy girl was sitting in her highchair eating scrambled eggs, small bites of toast and broken up bacon on her tray. Her plate was tipped over on the floor and the plastic spoon on top of it.

"She does not like plates, does she?" Adrian asked bending down to pick them up.

Dimitri chuckled and crouched down and pressed his lips to Sofia's cheek and ruffled her unruly hair. "No. Did she throw it at you?"

Adrian deposited them into the sink and then lifted his coffee cup to his lips with a shake of his head. "No. She just looked at me with a smile and dumped her food on the tray and then dropped the plate to the ground."

I dryly chuckled. "You're lucky. Apparently, Sofia is going to take after Mama. She chuckled the plate at Dimitri's wine glass the other day. It shattered all over his dinner and mine," I explained rubbing my finger over her plump cheek.

Adrian laughed and shook his head before turning around and poured two cups of coffee, sliding them across the island towards us before turning back to the stove. I picked up my cup and took a long drink of it before accepting the plate of bacon and eggs he provided us. I took my mug and plate and went to the table, sinking down beside Sofia and watched her as I ate my eggs.

She was getting so big. She was starting to even look like a little person now. Before she was all baby, but now she had sharper features. Dimitri's sharp nose, his eyes and complexion with my curls and lips. When she smiled though, she looked like Janine. And I wasn't bitter about that. She smiled the way Janine would smile at me when I was little. It warmed my heart a little bit. Dimitri always joked that Sofia had Olena's ears, and when I heard him tell her that on the phone, I thought she was going to choke on her laughter.

"This is really good," Dimitri said as he spread some jam over his toast, giving Adrian a smile.

"Yes. Thank you," I piped up around a mouthful of eggs. Adrian chuckled and ate some off his own plate. We ate quietly and the fuller my stomach got, the better I felt. Once I finished my plate I got up and got myself the biggest class of water I could find and practically chugged it down. I refilled the glass and set it down in front of Dimitri and scooped my girl out of the highchair, hugging her close to my chest.

"I think we should have a lazy day. All snuggles and movies, how does that sound?" I asked her, knowing that she wouldn't really be able to answer me. Sofia wiggled her face into the spot between my neck and shoulder, her eyelashes tickling my skin.

"I think that's a yes. Do you agree, Comrade?"

Dimitri smiled at me from his chair and gave me a small nod. "I like that idea."

"Yeah, you like the idea of sleeping for the rest of the day," Adrian snorted, setting the dirty dishes in the sick. "Alright. We are all fed, and my favourite girl is on her way to a snuggle-induced nap. I am leaving now," Adrian said making his way around the island and coming to stand by me. He kissed the back of Sofia's head and then my cheek, giving us a sideways hug. "Congratulations, by the way," he added making his way to Dimitri and clapped him on the shoulder.

"We're still going to Brando's on Friday, right?"

"That's the plan," Dimitri replied, smirking at him. Adrian nodded and bid us goodbye, closing the door gently behind him. I sway side to side gently as I looked at Dimitri. I don't know how he could even think about going to a bar right now. Not even an hour ago he said he was never drinking again.

"Couch or bed?"

Dimitri drank the rest of his coffee and stood up. "I'll change the sheets. You pick a movie. It's close to Fia's naptime either way. Might as well have her sleep with us."


I'm not even sure how I feel about this chapter (insert crying while kind of laughing emoji). I think I've scraped this chapter too many times to count.