"Where's Sara?" Greg Sanders asked as he walked into the break room.
There were 3 other CSI's sitting around the table, eating dinner. "Havn't seen her," Nick answered between bites of a thick taco.
"Neither have I," said Warrick.
"Don't look at me," Catherine exclaimed.
"Doesn't anyone think that it's a bit fishy that Sara's not here? She's always early, and if she wasn't coming, don't you think she would call?" Greg asked, looking worried.
Just then Grissom walked in, looked around, and asked, "Where's Sara?"
"That's what I wanted to know," Greg said. "No one's seen her. I'm worried."
"Ok, don't jump to conclusions. I'll call her house and see what the problem is, it could just be traffic on the strip." Grissom pulled out his cell and dialed Sara's number. He let it ring 6 times before he gave up and tried her cell.
Just as Grissom heard the first ring through his cell phone, he heard the familiar ring tone Sara used on her company phone ringing from the counter. He walked over and picked it up, he looked at the screen and saw his name there.
"What the hell?" Greg said.
"She left her phone here?" Catherine asked.
Grissom suddenly looked worried, "Nick, go to the locker room and check Sara's locker."
"But-."
Grissom cut him off, "Just do it!"
Nick jumped as all the CSI's did with the sudden loudness in Grissom's tone. "Sure thing," he ran more than walked toward the locker room.
"Grissom, what are you thinking?" Catherine asked.
"I'm thinking Sara is gone."
"What!" Warrick yelled
"She's been looking horrible for months. This morning she called my house and told me that she was sorry for everything she had done. How she almost got me fired, and for all the things she's said to me about 'us'."
"And you're thinking she just up and left?" Catherine asked.
"We're talking about Sara after all."
Nick walked slowly back into the room with a confused look in his eyes. "It's empty," he said.
"She left these," he walked around the room and handed everyone a white envelope with their name on it.
Everyone tore them open in a hurry. Catherine spoke up first, "This is what mine says:
Dear Catherine,
Thank you for always being a friend. You are one of the kindest, toughest women I have ever met. I am sorry for having to say good-bye this was, but I can not face any of you anymore. My life is so messed up right now. I don't know what to do!
I have decided to leave CSI for good. My decision may be extreme, but I love each and everyone at CSI.
Catherine, I love you and Lindsey so much. Tell Lindsey that I will miss her and that I love her very much, she was like the daughter that I never had. I love you guys so much.
Sara
Everyone was silent. Catherine had a tear sliding down her cheek as she finished reading her letter out loud. "She can't be gone!" was all she could say.
"We've got to do something!" Greg yelled.
"There is nothing we can do," Grissom said, his eyes were begining to turn red. "She's gone, for good."
"No! I won't except that!" Greg was mad. "I need to see her, maybe we can talk so sense into her. Maybe-"
Grissom cut him off, " Greg, she's made her decision."
"How can you say that! Sara was more than just a friend to us all! We all loved her! Maybe she's gone to her parents house?"
"No," Grissom said, looking down.
"How do you know?" Warrick asked.
"Her parents are dead."
"What?" Catherine said.
"When Sara was little, her dad used to beat her and her mom, and one night her mother couldn't take it anymore, so when he came at her, she stabbed him over and over again. Sara was send into foster care, her mother was send to an asilem."
"Oh my gosh," Cathrine breathed. "I never knew."
"How long have you known?" Nick asked.
"For a while, I guess it's safe for you all to know now."
"We have to do something," Greg said.
"Greg! Face it, she's gone, for good!" Grissom was on the edge of a break down, they all were.
"I'm going to her apartment, see if anyone knows anything."
"No your not!" Grissom said back.
"Oh yes I am."
"No, your not."
"Are you going to stop me?"
"Yes, I am."
"I know that things never worked out between the 2 of you, but don't take it out on all of us. Sara was my best friend! We were her family, I know she was, is part of mine," with that Greg walked out of the room, hurrying down the hall toward the exit.
"Nick, go with him, he's too upset to be driving. Catherine call Brass, tell him what's happened, have him pull her phone records. Warrick, I need you to ask around the lab and see if Sara may have told anyone anything about her leaving. I'm going to go and e-mail people I know who Sara may have contacted about a job."
Grissom called day shift in and had them cover shift, he told them one of his CSI's was missing, which wasn't a lie. Sara had seemed fine last night during shirt, she had just closed a case and seemed pretty content with herself, but then again, Grissom was never good at judging Sara's moods.
"Grissom," Nick said over the phone, "Sara's land lord said that she had been planning to leave and had been packing for about a week. She turned in her keys this afternoon, she must have cleaned out her locker yesterday after shift and left the letters then. I'm thinking she called you after she got home and then loaded up and left."
"There's no way Sara could have taken everything in her car, what about everything else?"
"Had it shipped somewhere a few days before."
"Find out who she used and trace it."
"Ok, I found a pamphlet on the floor though, it was for a company called Movers Are Us. I'll check it out."
"Good. How's Greg?"
"He's pretty shaken up."
"Take him home, have him calm down while you call the moving company."
"Will do, boss."
Sara's eyes were filled with tears as she drove through the desert. She couldn't believe what she had done. She had just left the only real family she had ever had. She wondered what they were doing now. Had they gotten her letters? Where they looking for her? She had not left them any information, she hoped they were not going to report her missing. She had left Grissom her resignation inside the envelope with the letter she had left for him.
She wiped her eyes. She would be fine, she already had another job lined up in New Mexico. Santa Fe's crime lab wasn't as good as Las Vegas', but Sara could start all over again. She would not make the same mistakes twice. She would not let herself care for her supervisor, or for the hot lab tech she was sure to find there. She hoped that they would be strictly business there.
She was tired of thinking so she flipped on the radio. The news was on so she decided to listen. A woman's voice spoke clearly and filled the car:
"In other news, the murder of Carey Sanchez was solved last night by the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Mathew Hunt was taken into custody last night. Lead CSI on the case, Sara Sidle, had this to say, "Carey Sanchez's murder was a tradedy. I am just happy to have the man who rapped and killed her finally behind bars where he belongs." Sidle has been a member of the LVCL for the past 6 years-" Sara turned the radio off, she didn't want to think about her 'old' job right now.
She put in a CD full of depressing songs and turned it up. She thought of Grissom and how she was really almost over him, but mostly she thought of Greggy. He was so nice to her and look how she repaid him. She knew that he would be really upset about her leaving. She pulled out her new cell phone and started to dial his cell but stopped herself. It would only hurt him more if she called him now.
Turning into a motel she saw, she checked into a cheap room. She had been driving since 2 in the evening and it was 8:30 now. The young desk clerk was checking her out while he handed her her key.
She callapsed onto the single bed in her hotel room. She felt like crying but she had no tears left to shed. She dug around in her suitcase until she found the picture she wanted. The picture was of all of the CSI's, including Doc. Robbins, David, and Brass. The picture was taken sometime last year. Sara was setting on both Greg's and David's laps, Catherine was in Warrick's and Nick's, and Brass, Doc. and Grissom were standing behind them.
Sara remembered taking the picture because she couldn't stop laughing. Grissom had just gotten a new camera for the lab and wanted to try it out. He thought it would be nice to have a picture of everyone, so they were all gathered up and just kind of placed themselves. Greg, David, Warrick, and Nick were lazy so they grabbed some chairs and refused to move. Catherine sat on Warrick and Nick, but Sara wasn't sure what to do. Greg grabbed her around her waist and pulled her to him. She laughed because she was tickling and poking her too. Everyone else seemed to find it funny while Sara shrieked at Greg. After Greg settled down she placed herself between him and David, she would never forget David's face, he was blushing so hard.
Sara smiled as she remembered. She had asked Grissom for a copy and he gave her a large one. She had placed it in a silver frame and it usually sat on her bedside table. This time she placed it beside her on the bed while she changed out of her dirty clothes and into some P.J's. She cuddled up in her bed and held the frame like it was a stuffed animal. As she drifted off to sleep, her mind wondered back to the day the picture was taken, she ended up crying herself to sleep.
Greg tried to sleep while Nick called the moving company but her found it impossible. He ended up making him a cup of Blue Hawaiian Coffee, but found it didn't taste as good as it usually did.
"Moving company said that a Sara Sidle did in fact hire them," Nick said.
"And?" Greg asked quickly.
"We'll have to go down there and check out their records."
"Let's go then."
"Grissom wanted you to calm down, he doesn't want you going off on anyone while looking for Sara."
"Come on Nick, I just want to bring Sara home."
"Home?"
"Yes, she belongs here."
"You really have it bad for her, don't you?"
"Sometimes I find myself just staring at her when we're working together. I remember the first time I saw here. She walked into the lab like she owned the place," he laughed. "She wanted to know where Grissom was. I remember thinking 'How does Grissom get a hott girl like this?' I told her he was throwing dummies off of a hotel, she laughed and told me her name was Sara. I told her mine and she shook my hand. I wanted to kiss her right then and there, but I just gave her directions and told her I'd see her later."
"Yeah, I remember the first time I met her too. I found her to be cocky, though. Yeah, she was hott alright, but she also had an attitude. We became friends in the end though."
"God, I don't know what I'll do if we don't find her."
"Me too, Sara was like my sister, I really love her."
"Why do you think she left?"
"I'm not sure, maybe she just couldn't take it anymore. I mean, everyone knows that her and Grissom were having some problems, but then she was getting over him, you could tell. She was hanging out with you more and working better with Grissom. She seemed happier I think, but I don't really see her outside of work."
"We were going to have dinner tonight. That was why I was so worried. She had actually asked me out. We had made plans last week and we were both looking forward to it, at least I was."
"Come on man, let's get down to that moving place, I'll call Brass and have him meet us there."
"David said that she told him she had got a job in New Mexico." Warrick said.
David was with him, "She told me that she had already told everyone. I tried to talk her out of it, but she said she had to go."
"Thank you David, you've been more help than you know. Sara asked me a long time ago if Santa Fe had a good Crime Lab. I told her they did. She asked for the name of the department head, said she wanted to consult him on a case similar to one that they had had a few years back. I should have known something was wrong, but she was really happy at the time so I didn't think anything about it."
"So she's in Santa Fe?" Warrick asked.
"Could be, I'll call Bob now, he's the head of the department."
"I'm going to talk to Catherine, see if Sara's phone records tell the same story that we have."
"Good, can you call Nick too? See if they've got any news from the moving company, we might be able to get an address and maybe a phone number if Sara has an apartment or something yet."
"Mr. Grissom," David said. "Is there anything I can do to help? Sara was my friend too."
"Can you remember anything else Sara told you?"
"She just said that she was transferring to Santa Fe and that she got a new cell phone. Wait, I think I may have the number! She had me call her on it to make sure it was working. It was a few weeks ago, but I don't think I've erased my call log." He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. After a few minutes he found it. "I've got it!"
"What is it?" Grissom asked anxiously.
Sara was dreaming of being lost in the desert all alone; she was hot and tired. She just kept walking and walking. Suddenly she woke up, her cell phone was ringing. For some reason Sara didn't stop to think, she just grabbed it up and said hello.
"Good, you're ok," the voice on the line said.
Sara recognized it at once. "I'm not coming back so don't even bother asking," she told Grissom.
"God Sara, you scared us half to death! Catherine was in tears, I almost had a nervous break down, and Greg was, is flipping out. What were you thinking!"
"I was thinking that I can't take it anymore. I'm tired Grissom. I need to start over somewhere else. I need to think."
"Sara we need you here. Not just the lab, but me, Greg, Cathedrine, Nick, Warrick, David, Doc. Robbins, Archie, we all need you. You're our family, we love you."
"Grissom, don't make this any harder for me than it already is."
"Sara, come back to us, to me , to Greg. Greg really cares for you, he yelled at me when I told him that he couldn't go to your apartment. He really loves you."
"Please, don't. I can't come back. I already have a job and... and I just can't face everyone after what I did."
"Please Sara."
"No Gil, I can't. I just can't. Ever since I came to Vegas, I've felt empty. I have nothing there, I just can't play the happy little girl anymore."
"We'll help you Sara, you're our family, my family. We'll help you work through this, I'll give you whatever you want."
"You can't give me what I want."
"What do you want?"
"I want a family Grissom! I have no one! I haven't had a serious relationship since I was in college and even then it wasn't really serious."
"Come back Sara, try it with Greggy. He nearly had a heart attack when he found out you were gone."
Sara began to cry. Her throat was already raw from crying so much earlier that it really hurt which made her cry even harder.
"Shhhhh," Grissom whispered. "I'm sorry honey."
Sara knew that Grissom was trying to comfort her but it wasn't working. She knew it wasn't safe for her to break down all alone. She tried to control her emotions but couldn't.
"I can't," was all she whispered into the phone before she hung up and turned the phone off.
Grissom cursed himself. The next thing he knew he was calling Greg on his cell. He answered almost immediatley. "Greg, I need you to get on a plane to Santa Fe."
"What?"
"Sara's going to Santa Fe. Get her adress from the moving company. I know she is driving and I have her cell number. I just called her and begged her to come back but she won't. I know she will talk to you."
"I- what? How did you get her cell number and what did you say?"
"That's not important now. The head of the SFCL said that he is expecting Sara there by noon tomorrow. I need you on a plane soon. I'll get your ticket and hotel in order. Just pack a bag for a couple of days and grab your credit cards. I'll re-emberse you, just hurry and get back here."
"Ok."
Grissom hung up. He couldn't believe what he was doing. No one had ever meant so much to him before. Sara was special, she was his friend, or as close to a friend as he had ever had anyway.
He missed her so much. He loved her, but not in the way he had wanted to for so long. He wanted to love her like a wife, like someone he could come home to at the end of the day and just love, but he loved her like a friend. He had tried to make her happy by staying away because he knew how she cared for him. He just sighed and logged onto the internet, he had to get Greg's flight and things in order.
Greg and Nick pulled into the dusty parking lot of Movers Are Us. There were various moving trucks around, but basically it seemed dead. Brass got out of his car and walked up to Nick in his black Taho. "Ok, let's go and talk to the manager. I'll flash my badge and bull shit him with a missing persons so he'll give us what we want."
"Is that illegal?" Nick asked him.
"Well we really are dealing with a missing persons, we just know that she left on her own."
"Clever," Nick said.
Greg hung up his phone, he had a confused look on his face. "Grissom wants me to go to New Mexico."
"What?" Nick and Brass asked together.
"Some how he got Sara's new cell number and called her. I don't know what he said, but he wants me on a plane in a few hours. He said she'll talk to me."
"What's gotten into Grissom? He didn't even want to look for her a few hours ago and now he's putting Greg on a plane to go and find her? What the hell?" Brass was confused.
"Well Grego here kinda went off on Grissom when we all found out that she was gone, brought up their 'relationship' and all. After that Grissom was all into finding her." Nick explained.
"They never had anything anyway, at least nothing that I knew about," Greg said, defending himself.
"Let's just work on getting her back first," Brass said.
"Ok."
"Sure, I know her," the manager of the moving company said. "Called us about 3 weeks ago."
"We need the adress where you're moving her things," Brass told him.
"Ok, but she was moving on her own free will, I don't get how this is a missing persons."
"Just give me her address."
"Here," he handed over a file to Brass. "that's everything we shipped and the address where it's going."
"Thanks," Nick said as they hurried out.
"Well she's definitely going to Santa Fe. She has an apartment there and here's the address," Brass handed the file over to Nick.
"Thanks man. Greg we had better get back to your place so you can pack."
Sara was driving again. She had only stayed a few hours at the hotel, but it was enough. It would be dawn soon and she needed to be at the SFCL by noon to meet with her new boss. She wanted to swing by her new apartment, her things should have arrived and been set up a few days ago.
She was excited but at the same time she wanted to cry again. She had taken a big step in leaving Las Vegas. She was too close to too many people and she was afraid of letting them get close to her. She had no real reason to stay in Vegas, she had no real family there, no ties to the city, no husband or children to stay for.
She had never really wanted a family, at least not 5 years ago, she was afraid because of what her mother had done to her father so many years ago. She didn't want to hurt her children the way her mother had hurt her. She was afraid that if she committed to anyone that she may hurt them on accident. She could barely live with herself now, how would she be able to live with herself if she hurt someone she loved like that?
She tried to close her mind to thoughts of her 'old' life by turning the radio on again. She flipped around until she found a station playing loud rock music. She left it and began to think about Greg before she could stop herself. She drifted back to old times when they would just hang together when the nights were slow. She thought of the decontamination shower they had been forced to share together. She laughed out loud, Greg had tried so hard to be a gentleman about it but she knew he had looked, she had.
She couldn't think about him now. Once she had settled into her new life she might call him, maybe fly out to Vegas for a weekend or something. She knew Grissom would have no trouble finding a replacement for her. Being the number 2 lab in the country did have its perks. She herself had no trouble finding a new job because of all of her experience. She didn't know it until she had contacted Bob Milow about a job, but she was pretty famous in the forensic world.
Mr. Milow said that it would be an honor to have her come and work for them. She had asked him not to talk to Grissom about it though, they were old friends. When he asked why, she had told him that Grissom was pretty mad about her leaving and she didn't want to make it any worse. He said that he understood and told her that she could start whenever she wanted and she decided that the sooner she left Las Vegas, the better.
She had called a moving company and arranged for her things to be shipped, after a few weeks she wrapped up her cases, wrote the letters she left for her friends, wrote her resignation, and finally called Grissom. She just wanted to tell him that she was leaving but couldn't bring herself to do it, instead she just rattled on like an idiot. She was nearly in tears when she finally hung up. After that she hurried back to CSI after loading up the rest of her things in her car. She cleaned out her locker and left the letters, she went to leave her cell phone on Grissom's desk, but for some reason the door was locked so she left it in the break room where it would be easily found. She then returned to her car and began to drive.
Sara snapped out of her thoughts as she began to notice the road signs that said she was just a few hours away from her destination.
"Here is your ticket and your hotel reservations. It's all been paid for." Grissom told Greg. "You already have her apartment address, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Greg said.
"Good. Knowing Sara she's probably not going to waist any time getting to work, so just go there first. Here are the directions to the lab. When you get there just try to talk some sense into her."
"Did you tell her I was coming?" he asked through a yawn.
"No, I don't think she suspects anything either."
"Ok, but why are you sending me? Catherine could talk to her better than I could."
"I'm sending you because you two are close."
"We weren't that kind of close if that's what you mean."
"I know that, but you were practically her best friend. She'll listen to you, and besides you were the one who wanted to run after her in the first place."
"I know, thanks Grissom," Greg gave him a quick hug. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it."
"Sure you did, but I understand what you meant. Come on, you'd better hurry, your plane leaves in an hour."
"Ok."
"Good luck man," Nick told him.
"Yeah, good luck," Warrick said.
"Bring her back to us, will ya?" Catherine said.
"I'll try my best."
"Come on, I'll drive," Warrick said. They exited Grissom's office where they had all gathered.
"What does Grissom think I'm going to say to her?"
"Just tell her that we all miss her and that she's part of our family," Warrick told him as they climbed into the Toho.
"I guess I'm just nervous."
"It's ok, just tell her what's in your heart man. She'll understand."
"I hope so," he leaned back and looked out the window as Warrick pulled out into traffic.
The plane ride wasn't very long, but it felt like a life time for Greg. He had put his heat phones on and looked out the window. He was lucky that Grissom was even able to get him a ticket, let alone a window seat.
He leaned his head back and tried to sleep. He had pulled a double the night before last and had not slept in almost 3 days. He knew it was starting to show on his face but he really didn't care. All he cared about right now was finding Sara.
"Sir," the flight attendant said, "can I get you something to drink?"
"Irish coffee please."
"Ok."
Greg needed both the caffeine and the alcohol right now. He downed two and stopped, he had to be at least somewhat sober when he confronted Sara.
Once on the ground he hailed a cab and went straight to the crime lab. It was just around 1 O'clock. The ride was long because of traffic, it looked like The Strip around 10 at night. There were cars and busses everywhere. He didn't think much of the traffic being from NYC and all, but he was kinda jumpy and way nervous.
The SFCL was huge, it was at least 3 times the size of the LVCL. Greg grabbed his backpack and paid the cab driver before he headed for the entrance. He felt out of place being in jeans and a rock T-shirt. His hair was its usual self, going in all directions, and his street clothes were wrinkled.
He felt really stupid as he walked through the door and signed in. He showed the security guard his I.D. card from Las Vegas and got directions to Bob Milow's office. Everyone at the SFCL was dressed in either a suite or a skirt, Greg felt himself blushing as he walked through the halls. He received smiles from the young women and odd looks from the men.
When he reached Bob Milow's office he knocked twice on the door before he entered. The man sitting behind the desk and looked a few years older than Grissom.
"Can I help you?" he asked, giving Greg an odd expression.
"My name is Greg Sanders, I'm from the Las Vegas crime Lab, is Sara Sidle here?"
"She just left, she'll be back in around an hour. If I may ask, why are you here?"
"I just need to see Sara, I mean Miss. Sidle, I'm a friend."
"You came all the way here from Vegas to see Sidle?"
"Yes, she just up and left and we, all of us at the crime lab, are really worried about her."
"She just up and left?"
"Yeah, she didn't even say good-bye. No one knew she was leaving, not even Grissom."
"Sidle told me she had submitted her resignation weeks ago, asked me not to call Grissom because she didn't want to make her leaving any harder on the lab."
"No one knew she was even thinking about leaving. She just cleaned out her locker and left her resignation. We had no clue where she even was until we investigated. Grissom's really worried about her so he sent me here to talk to her, she won't even talk to him."
"I had no idea, I'm sorry young man."
"Where can I wait for her at?"
"Well that depends, do you work in the lab or in the field?"
Greg gave him a confused look, "I used to work in the lab but now I'm in the field."
"We're swamped, can you do me a favor and run a few things for me in the lab?"
"I guess so, but do you think Grissom would mind?"
"No, but I'll call him anyway, talk to him about Sidle, see what he wants me to do."
"Ok then, I guess I can help."
"Good, hold on and I'll get someone to show you where to go." Milow walked out into the hall and found a guy a little older than Greg. "Josh, this is Greg Sanders from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He's gonna help us out in the lab for a little while today. Can you show him where to go, I want him in DNA."
"Sure boss. Follow me." Greg followed him out of the office and down the hall. "I'm Josh Carter."
"Greg Sanders."
"If you don't mind me asking, why are you in Santa Fe?"
"I'm here to see someone, but she's out."
"Figures, Milow always pulls people into helping in the lab. We're short a CSI and a lab tech, which are you?"
"Both, I'm a CSI now, but I used to work in the lab."
"Cool, here we are." Josh led him into a huge lab. Greg was in aww. It was bigger than the lab in Vegas and twice as cool. "Here's the stuff for you to run. The SNA part is already done, just run them through the database. People will probably bring you more stuff later."
"Ok, thanks." Greg picked up a lab coat from a near by chair, the name tag read Mathews. He put it on a grabbed some gloves, next he turned his IPOD on and got to work. It was pretty easy once he found his way around the lab. He finished putting the DNA stuff in the computer database pretty fast and spent his time looking around. He didn't really miss working in the lab, but it was nice to have some alone time.
He was dancing around the lab to a rock song when he noticed someone had come in. He looked behind him and saw a young woman standing there.
"Who are you?" she asked him once he took his head phones off.
"I'm Greg Sanders, I'm from the Las Vegas Crime Lab."
"What are you doing here in our lab?"
"Mr. Milow asked me to run some tests for him while I was waiting on someone."
"Oh, well I was wondering if anyone had run my DNA tests?"
"Yep, got a match too."
"Really, thanks."
Greg noticed how her eyes softened when he gave her the folder with her test results in them. She was pretty, looked around 28 with bleach blond hair and dressed more casually than the other people at the lab. "You know my name, but what's yours?"
"Oh, sorry," she looked up at him with her blue eyes. "I'm Laura Watters, I'm CSI."
"Me too, nice to meet you."
"Same here. Who are you meeting?"
"Sara Sidle."
"Isn't she new, I haven't met her yet?"
"Yeah, she is. I was my partner in Vegas."
"I don't understand. If she is new here, then why are you here?"
"Because I'm here to try to talk some sense into her, she's my friend."
"Oh," Laura still looked a little confused. "Anyway, thanks for getting these done for me."
"No problem."
Laura left, Greg smiled. It had been a while since a girl had hit on him in a lab, actually a girl had never hit on him in a lab before. He laughed, it had been a while since he had been this happy. He shook his head and replaced his head phones. A little while later a guy came by and dropped some more stuff off, Greg finished everything quickly, he was actually bored. Everyone was amazed at how fast Greg could get stuff done but it was just easy for him.
Greg decided to practice his air guitar and put on ACDC's Back In Black on a radio he found.
He turned it up really loud and was rocking out when Mr. Milow came back. He was shocked at what he found.The guy from Las Vegas had turned his lab into a rock concert and was bouncing off the walls listing to that obnoxious crap. He had just talked to Grissom and he said that Sanders could be a bit of a handful but that was an understatement. He found out where the noise was coming from and turned it off. Greg quickly stopped his air guitar practice and turned around.
"Having fun?"
"Sorry, I was kind of bored."
"Bored, did you finish all of the DNA samples from Watters?"
"Yeah, a while ago, and some guy named Mark gave me some stuff, the results are on the counter."
"I'm amazed. Grissom said you were good, but I didn't think you were this good."
"I just have a lot of energy I guess. Is Sara back yet?"
"That's what I came to tell you. She just called and asked if she could start today, I told her she could."
"Did you tell her I was here?"
"No, Grissom told me not too, said that she probably wouldn't show up if she knew."
"Thanks."
"I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but why is Grissom so worried about Sidle? She left him a note saying that she was leaving and turned in her resignation. I don't understand?"
"Sara has a lot of problems. She's been really depressed lately and all of us at the lab were worried about her. Even though Sara isn't very good with people, she would usually say good-bye before left. No one had a clue where she was or anything. Besides, Sara was more to us all than just a friend, she's part of our families and we're worried."
"I always figured you guys in Vegas were close. Grissom always spoke highly of you all when we were at a conference together. But I have to know, are Grissom and Sidle together?"
"No, they were just old friends when he called her and asked her to come to Vegas to help us out for a few days. I guess he asked her to stay because she never really left."
"I had no idea that Sidle didn't tell Grissom she was leaving, if I did I wouldn't have hired her. We really need the help, but I don't just take people from their labs, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. When's Sara gonna be here?"
"Next 20 minutes or so."
"Thanks."
"Hey Sanders," Milow was at the door, "if your hungry there's food in the break room."
"Thanks, I'm starving."
"I'll send someone there to get you when Sidle gets here."
Sara walked into the crime lab. It felt good not to have to stop and talk to everyone she walked past in the halls. She had went back to her apartment to make sure everything was in order and to change her clothes before beginning her shift. She wore a black pant suite with heals. Milow told her she wouldn't have to go out in the field tonight so she dressed nice to make a good impression.
She stopped at Milow's door. He sat at his desk filling out paper work. "Where do you want me tonight?"
"Oh, can you work in the lab tonight? We're short people. I promise it's just for tonight."
"No, it's fine, really. I don't mind the lab at all."
"Good, There should be some coats in there."
"Ok, thanks." Sara walked down the hall toward the lab. She had already had the grand tour earlier. She walked into the lab that was much larger than the one in Las Vegas. She stopped short when she smelled something familiar. She took a couple of deep breaths before she realized what it was, it was the type of colonge that Greg used. She smiled, no matter where she went it felt like she was still in Vegas.
"Greg," it was Milow, "I just sent Sidle to the lab."
"Thanks," he stood and began to walk toward the lab. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say to her.
He stopped when he reached the door to the lab. He looked through the window in the door. Sara was looking into a microscope and writing something down. He took a deep breath and opened the door and walked in; she didn't look up. He walked toward her and stopped when he was by her side. "Sara?"
Sara froze, she knew that voice all too well. 'Why is he here?' she asked herself. She looked up at him slowly.
"Hi," was all he could think of to say.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. Her face was tough, but her eyes gave her away.
Greg didn't know what to say. "I- well- I came to see you."
"Yes, I can see that, but why?"
"I'm worried about you. You just left."
"I did it because I knew I couldn't face you like this."
"You scared us when you just left us these," he held up the folded white envelope that contained the letter Sara had left him.
She just shook her head. Greg saw a tear leave her eye. "I didn't know what else to do."
Greg squatted down to her level where she was sitting in a chair. "Come here," he hugged her.
She cried into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
"It's ok, I'm here now."
"I know, but I can't make up for what I did to you."
"Forget about it." He thought back to the letter she had left him. It was more personal than Catherine's and he could see tear stains on the notebook paper. He re-read it in his mind:
Dear Greggy,
I just wanted to say that I love you. This may come as a shock to you, but I really care for you. I regret never taking you up on your offers for lunch and dinner and things along that line. I can't help but remember all the times we shared through the years. You and Grissom were the only reason I stayed in Vegas for as long as I did. I admit that I had feelings for Grissom for a long while, but after being rejected for so many years I eventually gave up on the dream I had of us being together.
Believe it or not it is hard for me to write this letter. I am leaving because I simply can't take it anymore. I have tried to be strong, but I find myself crying more and more these days. My apartment is so lonely that sometimes during the day I will just go to a park a sit there. I don't want to burden anyone with my problems so I keep them to myself. I know that keeping my feelings locked up inside of me is hurting the people I love, but I don't know what to do about it.
I have never really trusted anyone because of my past which I have asked Grissom to reveal to everyone in the letter I left for him. After my mother killed my father, I refused to get close to anyone for fear of being hurt again. Through my schooling I stayed to myself, usually hiding out in the science lab a cutting my fingers to get blood samples to study just to have an excuse to be there. When I finally went to collage I dated a few guys but nothing serious. I attempted to have relationships in San Francisco, but everyone just wanted to work with me on a professional level. I don't think I was ever fully able to accept my mother killing my father, but I have tried to work around it.
My life was actually going ok until Grissom asked me to come to Vegas. I thought maybe we could actually have something, but I was mistaken. We flirted yes, but nothing seemed to come of it. I became depressed for a long time and I believe that I still am, but when I think of you I am happy if even for a short while. I think of all the times we were together, wether it be in a decontamination shower together, or sitting together watching you make origami out of Grissom's cross word puzzles. When I am really sad I look at the picture that Archie took of us with the new camera a while back; I was so happy. You wouldn't stop poking me and I was laughing so hard. You make me feel better about myself and I love you for it.
If we ever see each other again, I hope that we may be able to have something. I love you Greggery Sanders and I always will.
Forever love,
Sara
"I love you too, Sara," Greg whispered into her ear, "and I always will."
Sara cried even harder, but this time she was crying with joy.
"Come to dinner with me?"
"Ok, but on one condition."
"What? I'll do anything you want."
"I'll only go out with you if you take me back to Vegas with you."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm in love, remember?"
Greg kissed her gently on her lips. "I love you Sara Sidle, and I will always be here for you."
