Mirrored Future
By Amazonian21
Recap: She told herself she was only so disoriented because he must have squeezed all the oxygen from her lungs. It had nothing to do with the tingling warmth in her stomach, or the way she had felt so comfortable and safe in his embrace that she'd never wanted to leave.
It had absolutely nothing to do with how good he smelled, or how she felt like the most important thing in the whole world when he was looking at her. It certainly had nothing to do with wanting to be in his arms again, soon, hopefully to stay. Thoughts like that would be crazy, so obviously they had nothing to do with her current state of being.
No, it had nothing to do with it at all.
Chapter 8
Kagome walked back to the camp in a slight daze. The warm sun beat down on her head warming her and getting her completely dry. There was no breeze present, no cool air to hit damp skin, so there was no reason for the goose bumps running up and down her arms.
No reason except the warm hug from a cold demon.
'It was just his way of probing me for weakness,' she tried to justify to herself, lamely. 'He was probably feeling for a good place to stick the knife…' even her inner monologue trailed off, completely unconvinced.
'What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to think?' she wailed in her head, cursing the surprising turn of events that left her confused, happy, hopeful, giddy, and more than a little baffled. For a moment she mentally cursed the distant youkai who'd so suddenly invaded her life, mucking it up even more than it had been before he came around for the mirror.
'This is all the fault of that stupid piece of glass,' Kagome thought to herself sullenly. 'If I hadn't seen him kissing me it wouldn't have put these thoughts in my head. Then none of this would have happened.'
Kagome thought she was being petulant, but in reality she'd just gotten her first lesson in how Fate and Destiny really work through every choice made. It may have been a valuable lesson, but it was little comfort to her anyway. Knowing that each decision you make limits the possible outcomes in your future and sets you on a collision course with your destiny doesn't matter when you're wondering about the actions of a cold, murderous InuYoukai.
'Not that he was cold this afternoon when you were sleeping on him,' that pesky voice spoke up, taunting her now that she was too mentally distraught to keep a leash on it. 'His eyes and his shoulder were both pretty warm, heh heh.'
Kagome didn't have the reservations about physical displays that Sesshoumaru did and had no problems with slapping herself in the forehead, hard.
"I am going slowly mad," she said softly, with a deep conviction. "I shouldn't be talking to myself, shouldn't be arguing with smug inner voices, and shouldn't be overreacting to everything like I am. There's only one thing to do," she said, turning to yell for the one person who would listen to her and give her the advice she desperately needed, now that she was probably crazy.
"Sango!"
Sango heard Kagome yell and turned to put a hand of restraint on Miroku, who'd started to rush forward in order to offer protection. Years of friendship and shared confidences had taught the older girl that this wasn't a yell of fright or a plea for help; it was a wail of emotional distress. It was a feminine cry for pure, unadulterated girl talk.
"Don't worry, Houshi," she said, pulling on Miroku's arm to get his attention. He stopped and put his staff down, seeing that he didn't need to jump to his friend's defense.
"I've got this one," Sango continued, taking a deep breath to prepare herself for the upcoming estrogen marathon. Her instincts were telling her that this would be a big one, considering Kagome had dealt with InuYasha, Kouga, Sesshoumaru, and Rin all in one day, right after facing down a demon that had depleted much of her energy stores.
She reached over to Kagome's yellow back pack to arm herself with the most effective weapon she knew of.
Miroku's eyes widened when he saw what she held. He stepped back a bit, knowing that he lacked the skills and training required to wield such a tool.
"Whoa, Sango, you're taking out the chocolate?" he asked, backing slowly away in trepidation. "Do you think it's necessary?"
"Oh, yeah," Sango said, letting out a deep breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "I have a feeling this will be a grade A tsunami," she confided, judging by the strength and depth of her friend's wail.
"God speed," Miroku said, watching his beloved walk with proud determination towards the young woman who was walking towards them down the path. He was suddenly very, very glad that he was a male and only responsible for gathering firewood.
Kagome and Sango sat in the shade of a secluded tree, far from prying eyes and ears. Miroku had been left with strict instructions to warn off any intrusive hanyous or wolf demons that might have been curious. He hadn't needed the instructions, really. He was a good guy at heart. He would have warned the two demon males about the girls' desire for privacy no matter what. He wasn't cruel, and firmly believed in the bonds of brotherhood.
When the hanyou and wolf returned with their kills, he relayed Sango's message right away. After all these years, all it had taken to flatten InuYasha's ears to his head and to make Kouga's tan complexion blanche a little were two words, "Girl Talk." They hadn't felt the need to follow Kagome to show her their grisly kills. (Thirty pounds, after all. Sango was right and wouldn't have to wash dishes for a week.)
None of this mattered much to the two girls, however. Kagome wasn't crying or wailing or cursing her fate. She wasn't angry or bitter, and the two girls weren't swearing revenge on all male life everywhere. No, Kagome was just very, very confused.
And Sango really couldn't blame her. After eating a mouthful of chocolate to fortify herself, Kagome had spilled the whole story, leaving nothing out. She started with the night by the well, confessing that she'd been hiding the mirror and its prophetic powers. She told about each of the three visions she'd seen of the last battle, agreeing with Sango that no matter the emotional outcomes, all of them were very positive since Naraku was always defeated. She continued by going over all her thoughts and feelings after seeing the kiss in the last vision, leading up to the day near the lake. She described how embarrassed she'd felt to find her head on the youkai's shoulder and tenderness in his eyes, finally ending with a warm embrace from the last being she'd thought capable of it.
Sango had listened to the whole story, a perfectly captive audience. She let out the appropriate gasps and low whistles at all the right places, commiserating instantly with her friend and her predicament. She knew Kagome had been in love with InuYasha for a long time, and knew that these new developments would be distressing for her.
"So what are you thinking?" Kagome asked, noticing the dazed look on her friend's face.
"I don't know, Kagome," Sango answered honestly. "This is a lot to take in. I guess it really just matters what you're thinking," she said, turning to take in Kagome's expression. The younger girl was confused and perplexed, but seemed more baffled than genuinely upset. That was a good sign.
"I'm not really sure," Kagome began, pausing to shuffle through all the impulses racing around her body. "I mean, I think I love InuYasha, even if it's not the same as it used to be and even though he frustrates me more than he excites me, these days. I think Sesshoumaru is fascinating, strong, and exciting…" she trailed off, thinking some more.
"And he's really hot," Sango supplied helpfully. Kagome giggled and agreed readily.
"But none of that's the point, is it?" Kagome asked, beginning to sound a little melancholy again. "I mean, he's a super strong, human-hating demon who's always trying to kill the guy I'm supposed to be in love with. And he hugged me, sure, but so what? It's not like he said, 'Hey human, stick around and become the mate of the scariest guy to hit the streets this side of the feudal era'," she said, waving her hands around her head as she got worked up.
"What am I supposed to be thinking about that hug?" she wailed, plopping back against the tree trunk and putting her arm over her eyes dramatically. "I mean, how could he DO that to a girl?" she demanded, emotions jumping from dejection to anger in a heartbeat.
Luckily Sango had no trouble keeping up with the sudden shifts in subject and feeling. The miko's impressive emotional range was nothing new to the demon slayer.
"Kagome, relax," she began, pulling the girl's arm away from her face. "You don't have to think or do anything! It's not like you're expected to suddenly run after Sesshoumaru and start a relationship! The hug could have meant nothing, it could have meant everything," she said, waving off Kagome's moans of frustration. She knew the young girl wanted something more helpful than that, but Sango knew she was right so far.
"Listen," she continued, before she could be interrupted, "you can't change how Sesshoumaru may or may not be feeling, and can't predict what he's going to do in the meantime. You also can't change that you have a history with InuYasha that you have to come to terms with. All you can do is focus on the shards and Naraku and take care of yourself." She took heart when Kagome seemed to be listening, trying to calm her emotions. Her friend was still upset, but no longer looked ready to gnaw her own foot off.
"Kagome, just let things take care of themselves," she said, trying to sound soothing. "What happens will happen, and that's all there is to it. You just have to decide what you want so you'll know how to react when the time comes," Sango said, pleased with her sage advice.
Kagome, however, looked less than thrilled.
"That's easy for you to say," she grumbled, hating that Sango was right. She really didn't like the idea that in this instance, she was powerless. She couldn't force anything from Sesshoumaru- he was an unpredictable male she didn't know the first thing about. Honestly, he still scared her. Sure he'd been nice this afternoon and yeah she got a lot out of being near him, but the relationship was non existent. She couldn't demand that he explain himself, or make him make some sense.
She also couldn't change that there was a hanyou who had a part of her heart and who always would, even if they could never be together. InuYasha was a big part of her life. He was her best friend and her first love. He was her protector and she would do anything for him. He might not be able to love her the way she needed, but she couldn't control that, either. She could only change or accept what she felt, and what she did.
"Ugh, you're right," she conceded to Sango, rubbing her eyes wearily. She took another bite of glorious chocolate to soothe her nerves.
"Sango," she continued, turning her thoughts to the upcoming battle and all it entailed, "I need to go home to see my family. I need to talk to them before the last fight."
"Yes, that makes sense," Sango allowed, content that her friend was starting to feel a little better about her situation. She knew they'd still circle back to male troubles because they had at least another hour of deconstruction and obsessive attention to detail to pick through, but for now they could move on to other topics.
"I know that supposedly Naraku's going to be defeated, but I don't know what will happen to me after that," Kagome continued.
"What do you mean?" Sango asked the young miko. As far as she was concerned the death of Naraku couldn't have any negative repercussions.
"When the Shikon no Tama is whole and I purify it and make a wish to destroy it, I don't know if the well will still be open. As far as I know, it's only the jewel that lets me travel back and forth through time," Kagome explained.
"It might not be the jewel at all," Sango protested. They'd never been sure about what allowed Kagome to pass through the portal, and worrying over it might be unnecessary.
"Yeah, but it could also be keyed in to the end of the quest. When I'm done with my quest there's no guarantee that I'll end up on the right side of the well. I might not see my family again!" Kagome said, trying not to get too upset.
"But that means you could also be sealed on that side of the well once you're done," Sango said. Kagome had considered this possibility a number of times, but Sango hadn't thought to worry about it. She was now devastated with the possibility of permanently losing her best friend.
"Yeah, you're right," Kagome said miserably. "If that well is sealed I'll lose family either way, no matter what side I'm on."
Sango felt completely dejected. Both options were too sad to contemplate.
"Well," she said, getting to her feet, "there's no use borrowing trouble. We'll do what we have to do and see what happens." When Kagome nodded Sango continued, "In the meantime, I'll take you to the well."
"Yeah, let's just go straight there." Kagome said, brushing herself off as she stood. "If I talk to InuYasha he'll try to stop me like he always does, and I just don't have the energy right now. I want to go home, talk to my mom and grand father, take a bath, and think things through a bit more. If InuYasha really needs me, he can come through to talk to me."
Sango walked discreetly back for Kagome's pack as the miko walked straight to the well. Sango caught up to her a moment later and handed the back pack over. When Kagome had it securely across her shoulders, the older girl leaned in and gave her a hug.
"Don't worry," she said confidently, "everything will work out for the best. I'm sure of it."
Kagome smiled and nodded, glad to have some comfort and reassurance. She climbed to the well's edge and put a leg over. She turned and gave Sango a last smile and a wave before preparing to jump through to her own time.
"Bye, Sango," she said cheerily. "I'll be back sometime tomorrow. I want to spend the day with my family, but something tells me I shouldn't stay too long."
"Yes," Sango agreed, waving back. "I think the fight is almost upon us. It shouldn't be much longer until we face that bastard Naraku."
"Tell InuYasha not to come through unless he's willing to risk some severe 'sitting'," Kagome said as a final instruction.
Sango laughed and promised as Kagome dropped through the well. She turned and headed back to the village. She would tell InuYasha what Kagome had said when she saw him that evening.
It turned out that it wouldn't be necessary at all. InuYasha had other things on his mind at the moment.
When InuYasha had returned from hunting, dragging behind him the carcass of a young deer, he'd deposited the animal by the campfire and immediately turned to look for Kagome. He wanted to be the first to boast about his skills, before that mangy wolf would have a chance to start flapping his gums.
He'd run into Miroku before he'd had a chance to run off, though, thankfully. The monk had warned him about the Girl Talk and he'd taken to the trees, running off in the complete opposite direction from where Kagome's and Sango's scents drifted. He had the feeling that he was one of the last people the young miko wanted to see right now.
He didn't really know why Kagome was so upset. All he'd been doing was trying to protect her from that mangy animal's pawing. Whenever Kouga came around Kagome would smell like rotten fur for days, even after bathing. It made him pissed.
Kagome might not be his mate, but she was his best friend, and damned if he was going to have his best friend smelling like something the cat wouldn't even drag in.
InuYasha wasn't the sort of boy given to much introspection. Unlike Sesshoumaru, his mouth was always engaged without many signals from his brain. He wasn't stupid, but he was often careless and thoughtless, and was always willing to accept the simplest explanation for every situation.
Therefore, while Kagome was in agonies wondering what everything meant and why people did what they did and what she should do in return, InuYasha wasn't nearly as complex or conflicted. He had set ideas about everything and everyone around him, sometimes along the clear cut lines of, 'Food good, pain bad'.
Kagome was a good person. She liked him the way he was, she cared for him, she listened to him, she found jewel shards for him, and she smelled good. He liked her and was comfortable when she was around and always felt calmer when her soothing presence overrode his more aggressive tendencies. All he knew was that he wanted her nearby, and would protect her from anyone or anything that distressed her. He might not love her, and wouldn't admit to himself that she may love him and that his actions sometimes caused her pain, but he still wanted everything good for her. Kagome was Kagome, and she was his best friend. Simple.
Kouga was a jackass who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He smelled like crap and was always trying to show InuYasha up and cop a feel off Kagome. InuYasha hated him, so tried to beat the hell out of him. Simple.
Sesshoumaru was a scary son of a bitch. He was violent, unrelenting, ambitious, cold, and smugly superior. He didn't care about anyone or anything and was always trying to pick an unfair fight. He mocked InuYasha for parentage he couldn't control, and held him responsible for things from the past that weren't his fault. So InuYasha always tried to knock that arrogant look off his bastard half brother's face every chance he got, period. Simple.
Kikyou was his first love. He'd promised to go to hell with her. He couldn't protect her from the unfair things that happened in their past, but he would hold to his promise. He cared for Kagome and wanted her around always, but he'd already given a big piece of himself away. He couldn't go back on his word. He'd stay true to Kikyou, as hard as it got, as cold as she was clay or flesh. He was loyal first and foremost, and would stay that way no matter how much it hurt sometimes. Simple.
That was the way InuYasha thought his mind worked, and maybe it was. Over the years he'd gotten very good at simplifying things until they were mere shadows of what they were meant to represent. He overlooked a lot of facts and did a great disservice to many of the people he was in constant contact with, but it was self preservation instinct. It was all he could do. Something kept him from giving up on Kikyou, no matter how wonderful and loving Kagome might have been. Something kept him from evolving his relationship with his half brother, so he did what he could with the information he had. It might not have been right, but it was all he was capable of. In his quieter moments InuYasha felt bad, but until things changed, there was no point in mourning what could never be.
All these thoughts floated on the quieter side of his subconscious. He didn't even bother to bring it to the forefront of his mind.
This was how the soul stealers found him, sitting in a tree, staring off into nothing and thinking small thoughts that would never break the surface.
When he realized what the spirits surrounding him were, and realized who they would lead him to, he jumped down from the trees and raced off after them, headed to find the woman who wasn't the same person he'd known, but was the woman he was always doomed to love.
Sesshoumaru stalked through the woods silently, wandering aimlessly. He'd sent Rin off to his holdings with Jaken, on the back of Ah Un. He'd intended to go with his charge and retainer, but something kept him close by. It was an instinct, and he'd learned long ago never to ignore his instincts.
He thought about finding the miko and seeing what she would be up to this night, but when he tracked down her scent he saw it led to the well.
'She's returned to her time, then,' he realized, 'and is beyond my reach.' He knew she was probably safest in her own era on her home turf, but he hated the thought of being unable to go to her for any reason. He didn't understand the urges and protective feelings she stirred in him, but understanding was irrelevant. For better or for worse, he cared about what happened to the miko.
Oddly enough, the thought didn't upset him at all.
He decided to let fate guide his feet. He didn't desire to run into either the monk or the demon slayer. They were of no consequence to him. He also had no patience for that mangy wolf, even if he was unable to molest Kagome.
He didn't particularly want to see his brother, either, not wishing to engage in another pointless battle, but he found himself coming across the hanyou's scent. It was mingled with the scent of another, one that confused him momentarily.
It smelled like Kagome, only mixed with clay, dirt, and despair. It lacked all the warmth and vitality that surrounded the young miko. Sesshoumaru considered the scent for a moment and concluded who it must belong to. It had to be his bastard brother's woman, the dead bitch miko who'd pinned him to a tree.
The foolish whelp had never given up on her. She was cold, cruel, and blinded to the world around her with her misdirected hate and frustration. Sesshoumaru wasn't familiar with her personally, but it didn't take a genius to smell the bitterness seeping out of her very pores. She was so angry with the world that her basic chemical make up had changed, becoming cruel and angry smelling. This was not a being that anyone, hanyou or no, could fall in love with. His brother was a fool to let her live, and a fool to allow her to come close to her reincarnation.
InuYasha's failure to release Kikyou and put her soul to rest was going to cost Kagome her life. Sesshoumaru remembered clearly the future where Kikyou had risen at the last moment, even after Naraku lay slain and helpless on the field, to put an arrow through the heart of her living counterpart.
Sesshoumaru knew, then, what he must do. He could not allow this dead monstrosity to live. He could not allow her to weaken or kill the miko he'd become… fond of. He would do what his brother was too weak and blinded to do. He'd end the dead miko's abominable existence and protect the living miko's life.
He told himself he was only doing as nature demanded, letting dead things die and living things live. He told himself he simply wanted Rin's future guardian to stay healthy enough to be useful to him in the future. He told himself it had nothing to do with the weight of her head on his shoulder, or the trust she'd placed in him that afternoon by the water, even when she knew what he was and what he was capable of. He told himself his actions had nothing to do with her smile, or how her eyes lit up, or how she was the first person in the history of people to ever make him feel…
No, it had nothing to do with any of that.
But Sesshoumaru's inner demon, the same one that leapt and danced a little for joy whenever Kagome was near, the same one that sighed and relaxed in contentment when she was happy and safe, the same one who'd been insisting since the beginning that she needed to be near him, no matter what- that demon wouldn't let him lie to himself anymore.
He cared for the girl and wanted her safe. He wanted her with him. He wanted to see her smile and to have her acting so free and careless when he was around. He wanted her to make it okay for him not to be in control of everything, for it to be okay to feel something aside from rage, to think in ways that weren't solely cold and calculating.
He wanted the miko to live, and that could not happen if the dead miko was left free to cause more damage. Tonight it would end. It would be put right, and as soon as his brother left, he would be the one to do it.
A/N: We're at 6,500 hits. And I have a stick figure drawing for you guys. It's good. Filled with... sticky goodness. Clean lines.
