Jesus' disciple or Devil's child

Disclaim: I own noting of Miami but love the team from season one as a family.

A/N: It hurt me much that CBS wrote out the character of my favored Megan Donner and gave us its official statement of her "less integral"... The first ten episodes of season one become my treasure, the role of Donner stays in my deep heart and I still keep the dream that maybe one day she will be back... CBS failed to handle the relationship between Horatio and Megan; I don't want that... Give them a chance to talk and this fic forms...


Megan: Someone said I acted less integral... What do you think about it?

Horatio: You are just too focused...

Megan: I'm too focused?

Horatio: Yes. And that would scare people...

Megan:... Did I scare you?

Horatio: Er... That depends on which of me?

Megan: Try it specifically.

Horatio: If you are saying the Horatio who works with you on homicide cases, no...

Megan:... What?

Horatio:... Megan, I know you are addicted to the truth, to the answers... But not everything has its answer, not everything happened can be proved completely only by physical evidences... We should consider human essentials.

Megan: I consider human essentials on every case.

Horatio: You are not considering them; you are testing them.

Megan:... I follow my intuition, estimate every possibility, collect any necessary evidence and test them all by science. So that all that I could get would be at least rather closer to the truth...if…if it is not exactly is...

Horatio: The process about how you work out cases is not wrong... It's about what you are expecting from this working process…

Megan: What has happened?

Horatio: In another word...

Megan: The answww...

Horatio: ...Swer...or the truth.

Megan:... Don't tell me you wanna close cases without any reliable scientific results.

Horatio: No, I don't... But I would not push my personal diversion on solving cases... People would feel pressure from you...

Megan:... Did you feel pressure from me?

Horatio:... A part of me says...yes...

Megan: Ouch... I never thought you were sensitive.

Horatio: Megan!

Megan: Well, I'll take it as a...compliment.

Horatio: Megan...

Megan: I'm listening.

Horatio: Forgive me if I am asking frankly...

Megan: ...

Horatio: Have you walked out the shadow of Sean?

Megan: Hold on... It has nothing to do with him.

Horatio: It has.

Megan: ... I am not discussing it now.

Horatio:... You just listen to me.

Megan: Okay.

Horatio:... Do you remember the case "Skeletons"?

Megan: Yep.

Horatio: When Jennifer Wilson asked me how I can know the result in advance, I told her I have a similar family history...

Megan: You never talked about your family.

Horatio: Yeah...

Megan:... It feels not good?

Horatio: ... That was a Sunday afternoon in the summer. I didn't have to go to the kindergarten and could stay with my younger brother Raymond at home. Raymond broke his right arm days before, had to stay in bed for several months so I planned to play chess with him that afternoon. I went to fetch the chess and when I came back to the bedroom, I saw my father standing near his bed, lifting his right arm, with a rattan in his right hand and right going to lash my brother. I knew father must have reviled him, he retorted and right then father would abuse him as usual. How can I let it happen when Raymond couldn't even move away in bed? I shouted, rushed up to his bed, protected him with my body and swore I would hack that bastard pieces by pieces and have him praying for death... Life was even worse day by day, year by year until we moved out of that hell...

Megan: Horrible! ...I...

Horatio: ...I thought I had walked away from those memories after that bastard died... When I saw you came back to the lab, when I feel what you've suffered and how you bear it even today, it seems I am seeing part of myself...

Megan: I'm sorry... I didn't know it would...

Horatio: ...I know they are totally different editions... But it just...just...just calls up...and I cannot help...

Megan: I didn't mean to... If I knew...

Horatio: ...You couldn't know...

Megan: I'm sorry...

Horatio: Megan, it's not your fault...I'm telling you my story not becoz I am going to...blame you...for your ability...to dig out my horrible memories...

Megan: I know you didn't mean it.

Horatio: I wanna you know I can think and feel in your shoes... And I wanna you know people always keep bad memories in the box... The weight of your box would be redoubled after your every following step... And this doubling work would never stop...until you could let yourself out of it some day...

Megan:... You think I have a problem? And my problem origins from Sean?

Horatio:... I am thinking it's not a good idea to bury your box away from your life... The deep you bury, the much hurt you will pay for it...

Megan: You are saying my personal deal interferes in my work?

Horatio: I am saying you are escaping from it...

Megan: ...

Horatio: Is there...something wrong?

Megan: You are thinking... You are saying...

Horatio: Yeah...

Megan: What you are thinking but not saying?

Horatio: ... ? ...

Megan: ... ! ...

Horatio: ... ?... ! ... Megan!

Megan: ... ? ...

Horatio: You are Jesus...

Megan: Well, have you made your decision?

Horatio: Not yet.

Megan: Haven't got a word?

Horatio: Yeah...

Megan: It's been ten years...

Horatio: I know you are good at counting...

Megan: Suppose...suppose one of them came here, to the lab, just to say a hello to you...

Horatio: ...So?...

Megan: Do you think they would not be curious if they saw Calliegh?

Horatio: What about Calliegh?

Megan: I can see the similarity, so could others from your bomb squad...

Horatio: You have seen her?

Megan: No. But I have seenthe photo of your bomb squad...

Horatio: How can you get that?

Megan: Simple. Sean had a friend there...Get to the point! How did you say just now? ...

Horatio: What? ...

Megan: Emn... Right! "...You are escaping from it..."

Horatio: ...

Megan: ...

Horatio: It seems we both have problems...

Megan: You said... Well, I would think about it...

Horatio: Thank you.

Megan: That's what I am saying...

(Megan smiled as usual and then left the office...)


I don't know whether it is the kind of relationship you want between Horatio and Megan, but it is the one I appreciate between them. I just write it out and put it here.

Problem comes from yourself, ends in yourself, like a test between Jesus' disciple and Devil's child.

This fic comes from a problem and ends up in another problem. Just like that saying, just like our lives.

PLS tell me what you think about this fic. And thanks for everyone who has R&R so far!