Chapter Eight.
Ryan sat in his seat, fumbling with his finger tips. He couldn't help but feel that very emotion in the pit of his stomach. It was the very emotion that he felt the first time he saw Marissa Cooper, or the first time his lips met hers. It was a cooling feeling that spread all over his body. It made him shiver and twist in his seat every once in a while, when he could not relieve himself of the anticipation.
Their flight was already delayed about an hour. Ryan wondered why he was practically glued to his seat, and unable to leave the airport as much as his writhing nervousness pleaded him. He could barely say a word to Seth; even so, he had no idea what to say. He was terrified out of his wits. He was going to see her, and he didn't even know why he was so anguished. He couldn't believe that she had been there about a day before, and now she was about a couple of thousand miles away.
He figured it was just one nasty nightmare, one that kept fleeting his already troubled mind. He begged himself to consider the outcomes. Would she be happy with his arrival? Would she care that he was there to see her? Did she want to simply move on, and forget all that she left in Newport?
Questions flew into Ryan's mind like a thunderous wave hoping to swallow up a friendly swimmer. He could neither control them, nor see through these questions and worries and anxieties.
Ryan tried to figure out, how his whole body would survive this break-up. He hadn't seen Marissa for only one day, and already his heart was aching, his words were scarce, his feelings were ubiquitous. He knew that he couldn't bring Marissa back to Newport. He also knew he couldn't simply gather his things, and move to New York with her. There was nothing he could do to face the abominable understanding that him and Marissa were just simply, over.
"Hey, Ryan," Seth said gently, as he tapped Ryan's arm. Seth was tired of the tremendous silence- he wanted to get Ryan's mind off of the afflictions in front of him. He looked up at Seth, his face burdened and bothered. He didn't say a word in reply, but Seth knew he had grasped his attention, "Wow, time sure flies when you're having fun, eh Ryan? Our plane's leaving in about ten minutes," Seth heaved a great sigh. For him, this hour was absolute torture. While Ryan's thoughts were a mess, Seth had nothing to put together in his orderly mind. He simply sat there quietly, for the sake of Ryan's fragile sanity.
"This was fun?" Ryan asked him, almost hoping to taste his sarcasm.
"I, I," Seth stuttered, as he closed his eyes. Somehow his dry humour rarely entertained anymore, "I was just kidding, Ryan. I know you're all depressed and everything, but can you at least show some appreciation toward my jokes?" Seth started to gather up his things, placing his bag on his lap.
Ryan rolled his eyes, as he started to follow Seth's lead, as to gathering up his things, "Seth, back at home you said you understood exactly what I was going through," Seth looked up at him, and nodded inquisitively.
"I do," he said, his face distorted into an almost 'Get-to-the-point-Ryan' image.
"I don't think you do, though," he continued, ignoring Seth's facial expression. Ryan's face was hard and tense, and it barely betrayed a single emotion, "All this time you're treating this like a joke. It's just all a joke, right? You find it funny that I'm so miserable, and Marissa's halfway across the world?" Ryan gulped, as he started to become more and more uneasy.
"Dude relax, okay? You're all stressed out, and I'm only here to try and make you feel somewhat better. But I can scratch the jokes, if you want," Seth said, in his gentle lisp, his voice grim and serious, "Listen, if you just want an acquaintance that doesn't talk, I'll be that. If you want someone to help you see 'the light', I'll also be that."
Ryan simply glared at him, unable to express his annoyance. He groaned, as he heaved his things over his shoulder, as he started to walk toward the slowly forming line. Seth quickly followed him, chattering incessantly about little nothings. In a moment, Ryan turned around so that he was face to face with Seth.
"Seth, I don't need this right now," he said, as he took a deep breath toward his gut, "You know what I need right now? I need you to sit in the aisle-seat, and just shut up because I swear, I can't listen to you right now," he said menacingly, and Seth simply nodded.
Seth was utterly bewildered. He understood that Ryan was in a tough spot right now, but he felt like a target for his splitting anger, "You know what Ryan?" This made Ryan turn back around toward Seth, and simply stare at him as though he had it over his head with Seth, "I'm just going home. Clearly, you don't need me right now," Seth nodded, "Say Hi to Marissa for me, will you?"
