Chances

Author: Dragon's Daughter 1980

Spoilers: Season 1

Pairing: Don/Terry

Disclaimer: CBS has ownership over Numb3rs. That being said, I'm just borrowing the cast for my own enjoyment and I promise to return all characters unharmed.

Author's Note: Thank you to all my readers and reviewers!


Benson Memorial Hospital
Quantico, Virginia
(3:14 PM, Local Time)

"Have you called his next-of-kin?" a woman's voice drifted in from the hallway. A man's voice replied, "Tried. Apparently his kid moved, didn't leave a new address." Terry saw two orderlies wheeling a hospital bed past her open door.

"He needs someone by his bedside when he wakes up. Emergency triple bypass; that isn't something you can get through by yourself."

"Yeah, you or me?" the second orderly asked as they moved out of hearing range. The conversation brought to mind something that had been worrying her since she had woken up. Don would, undoubtedly, soon ask why she had chosen him as her next of kin.

She did not know if she would answer honestly. She could beg that she had no one else in Los Angeles. But if she used that explanation, it was a slim truth. They both knew that most unmarried agents' families often lived out of state. Most agents, instead, listed their superior officers or close friends as relatives. But she had worked away from her family for years and Don was not her next-of-kin then. He hadn't been her emergency contact since she married her jerk of a husband…until he walked back into her life that balmy spring day three years ago.


"So, how was the meeting with Merrick?" she asked her partner casually, not looking up from her case notes. Special Agent Louis McClellan sat down at his desk with a quiet sigh. Terry spun her chair around to face him. "Well?"

"Do you think I'm making the right decision?" he asked abruptly. She smiled slightly, "Are you asking me to profile you?" But that teasing grin faded when she saw that he was serious.

"Lou," she said gently, "you've put in a lot of good years with the Bureau. It's your right to retire. As long as you think you can be happy, I think you're making the right choice."

"I think so," he said quietly. "It will be good to spend time with Charlotte."

"Then what are you worrying about?" She was not prepared for his answer.

"You," he said.

"What?" She didn't manage to hide her surprise in time.

"I'm worried about you."

"Lou," she tried to laugh it off. "I'll be fine, really. Jack's a jerk and the divorce has been final for years now. I'm fine." He gave her a look that said he wasn't buying it, but he switched topics anyway.

"My replacement is a man named Eppes."

"Eppes?" she echoed, surprised. 'How many agents could there be named Eppes? But Don's the SAC in Albuquerque; why would he transfer here?'

"Yeah," said McClellan, watching her expression. "You okay?"

"Huh? Um, yes," she said quickly, turning back to her desk. She hoped he didn't notice the hitch in her breathing.

"Are you sure?"

She forced herself to calm her expression before she turned around again, "Yeah. I was just — surprised. That's all. We were classmates at Quantico."

"So you know him?"

"Yes," she answered. "He fits your standard of a gentleman. You don't have to worry about him taking advantage of me." At McClellan skeptical look, she told him, "I dated him briefly. He's a good friend and agent. It's going to be fine." Her partner nodded slowly, accepting her answer, before switching gears.

"So what do we have on the arson case?" he asked, standing up and walking over to her desk.


A few weeks later, after McClellan officially retired from a twenty-six year career with the Bureau, Don walked back into her life and slowly taught her how to fall in love again.


"I understand the two of you have worked together before?" The voice of the Assistant Director behind her brought her out of her paperwork-induced trace. But it was the replying voice that caused her to look up from the forms.

"Yes," he answered quietly. It was just a single syllable, but it brought to mind moonlit walks, long conversations, stolen kisses, and a joyful love that was at once naïve and practical.

"Hi Don," she said with a smile that faded the instant she saw his eyes. They were heavy with worry and fear, two emotions she had never seen before in his expression. He smiled when he saw her and that was genuine, but she could tell it was slightly forced. Merrick cleared his throat and simply said, "I'll leave you two to get reacquainted," before he disappeared.

"Terry, how have you been?" he asked. She swallowed back her emotional pain and answered neutrally, "Doing well. And you?"

He nodded sharply, "Pretty well." There was something about his demeanor that prevented her from asking about his reasons for returning to L.A. She briefly wondered if something had gone wrong in his relationship with Kim Hall. Last she had heard was that they were engaged to be married. 'But why would that bring him here, to a demoted position?' she asked herself, but then promptly pushed that thought away. 'Focus and get him up-to-date.' In the following months, that mantra gradually turned into 'Focus and concentrate on the case.'


Terry was certain he never set out to woo her heart when he became her partner. He had just been himself, nothing more and nothing less. Slowly, he had somehow become her rock when she became his. When he couldn't turn to his family, he had trusted and leaned on her to get him through his worst nights. When she needed someone to take care of her, he was there to make sure that she could decompress without worrying about the mundane things in life that often got tossed aside in their careers. She had fallen for his honesty, his charm, and his gentleness towards her. Terry wasn't one of those delicate flower types who needed to be constantly cared for, but Don was able to make her feel safe and secure, even when he wasn't there. On nights when the loneliness and darkness were too much, she just had to tell herself he was sleeping in the other room to settle her racing heart and bring her back to blissful sleep. When it came time to update her personnel file, she had filled in his name, praying that there would never be any need for the information to be used.

She knew her family cared about her, loved her unconditionally. But her family, while supportive, never could really comprehend her job — well, except Bill, her older brother. But he was usually overseas and notoriously difficult to track down. He understood some things, like the nightmares and the insomnia, but he was a soldier and there were differences. Soldiers didn't examine crime scenes or question grief-stricken families and uncooperative witnesses. There was no frustration at failed justice, the criminals who got off because of a technicality, or the cases that went unsolved. Her parents just wanted her to be happy, and if she was happy, they would keep silent about their misgivings over her profession and its risks. They ignored the dangerous aspects of their daughter's job, refusing to acknowledge the possibility of that fateful phone call. And Angela, called Angie by the family, didn't want to know what her older sister was doing — at all. Angie was a businesswoman in corporate America, a comfortable, well-paying, and above all, safe job. She didn't understand the sense of duty both of her older siblings had felt that led them into the Marine Corps and FBI respectively.

That was why Terry hadn't chosen any of her family as her next-of-kin. They loved her and she loved them, but they weren't prepared to fully face the realities of her job. They would have nervous breakdowns when the hospital called, unable to make the right decisions for her if she needed them to. Don would. She knew that, deep inside her heart. He was her partner, a close friend; she trusted him to make the calm rational decisions that would be needed if anything like this came up again. And while she wasn't sure he loved her, she knew, for sure, that she was in love with him.

Love. She avoided using that word when she could. It reminded her of too much. Romantic love in her past had brought her only personal pain. It had been a difficult decision for her to let her feelings for Don go once they decided to part ways after graduation. True, it was her choice, and one that she didn't regret, to follow her career and make her profession her life. But a little part of her had stung for years, missing his presence. Her marriage had been a whirlwind affair and one that fell apart as quickly as it had started. That didn't mean it didn't leave its scars. Dating, for various reasons, didn't work. She didn't meet many men who weren't criminals. Her work schedule was so erratic that the occasional date usually resulted in a cancellation. And she just couldn't find the interest to date. Jake had hurt her so deeply that she wasn't sure she could personally love someone again. And love as an emotion for her? The FBI rarely saw love, unless it was in the form of grief or stonewalling. They saw hate and anger; violence and passion; jealousy and lust. Emotions clouded logic, put people at risk. Emotions fueled passions and grudges; each agent saw that for themselves. Love was not a factor in their job.

'But did I go wrong somewhere?' she asked herself now. 'Jasmine is married, even though her husband's gone on deployment a lot. So is Lisa; she always has that little smile on her face each time her husband calls her at work to check on her. How do they make their marriages work and why can't I?' A part of her knew that the circumstances for each of them were different and therefore incomparable, but that didn't stop her from wondering.

"Agent Lake?" Lisa's voice interrupted her musings. "There a phone call for you. I think it's your brother."

Terry closed her eyes briefly. 'Bill isn't going to be happy. And chances are that will be an understatement.' Aloud she said, "Okay. Thanks," and accepted the phone from the other agent.

"Hello?"

"Terry, are you all right?" her brother asked almost frantically.

"I'm fine," she replied calmly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

"Don't get sassy with me, Terry. I want to know that you're not bluffing. And why in the world did you list your partner as your next-of-kin without telling anyone in the family? Do you have any idea what Mom and Dad were like when I called them to tell them that you were hurt and I didn't know how badly? Angie nearly had a heart attack when I told her. If Agent Lewis hadn't called me, I wouldn't have found out about this and I think I deserve to know when my little sister is hurt!"

Terry saw Don standing considerately in the doorway, wordlessly offering to give her privacy, but she motioned for him to come in. 'I'm going to need his support, especially if I'm going to call Mom and Dad. Thanks Bill, for scaring them. You know Mom's heart can't take too much stress.'

"Look," Terry cut in firmly, "You're in South Korea; even if you could get furlough and book a flight, that's still at least twelve hours. And that's not counting the time you'd have to spend convincing your CO to give you leave. And both of us know there's no way that Mom and Dad could fly out at a moment's notice and Angie's nervous enough about me already. She'd have a breakdown the moment the Bureau called. When I cited—"

"You cited someone I've never met! I know you trust him, but how could you not say a word about this to us? Do you have any idea how frightened I was to get a phone call out of nowhere, three days after you were hurt, that you were in the hospital and no one was sure if you were going to make it?" Terry heard her sister-in-law in the background saying something along the lines of, "William, for goodness' sake, she's in the hospital and all right, will you stop yelling at her? That's not going to help her recovery!"

Terry sighed, leaning back into her pillows, "Yes, Bill, I know, I know. I'm going to be fine, all right? I can take care of myself, so don't worry about me."

"Don't worry about you!" he repeated incredulously. "Did you hit your head too? I'm your brother; I'm supposed to worry about you and I do. Considering you're in the hospital right now, I'm very concerned. So are Mom and Dad and Angie. They want to fly out to see you. And so do I, if not to only make sure you're all right, but to make sure you stay that way."

Terry said soothingly, "I'm okay, William. There's no need to worry Mom and Dad or Angie with the full details. And there's no need for you to fly out here. I'm fine and I've friends looking after me."

"Friends," he replied, "Like Don Eppes?"

"Bill, a lot of people are going to —"

"Is he there?"

"Yes," her patience was wearing thin.

"He'd better not try anything or I will personally hunt him down myself."

"Bill, it's not like that," she said sharply. She heard her sister-in-law exclaim, "William! Apologize!"

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, I know, I know, you can take care of yourself."

"I am fine, Bill."

"He sighed heavily, "Patricia's glaring at me. She says to tell you that I'm acting like a — I'm not going to say that to her, Tricia! — Just, do what the doctor tells you to do and don't push yourself."

"Yes, I know. I will listen to what the doctor said and stay in bed."

"Your word?" he pressed.

"Yes, Bill. I promise."

"Dang, I have to go; another meeting in five minutes."

"The joys of seniority."

"Yeah, well, I'm still melting in this heat."

"Be careful and stay safe, Bill; it is your last tour."

"I know. Love you, Sis."

"I love you too, Bill. Give my regards to Patricia and the kids, okay?"

"Will do," he said before they exchanged goodbyes and hung up.

"Do you have my cell phone?" she asked him. Don nodded and, fishing it out of the bag, gave it to her. She turned it on and scrolled through a few numbers before she hit dial. Don took her hand, silently lending her his support and strength while she fended off her anxious parents, reassuring them that she was fine and downplaying the severity of her injuries. She eventually managed to convince them not to fly out to Quantico to see her. The phone call to her sister was slightly tenser, if only for the reason that the two sisters never really quite understood each other. Angie was genuinely concerned, but the conversation between them was polite and slightly distant. It was partially because Angie once again brought up the possibility of Terry leaving the Bureau. That was something that Terry knew she would never consider; to her, if she left because of what had happened, then Alverez had won. She knew that Angie wanted her to be in a safe job, but she enjoyed what she did for a living, as much as someone could enjoy a job like hers. After bidding Angie goodbye, Terry closed her eyes and sank back into her pillows with a sigh. Don quietly removed the phone from her hand and placed it on the bedside table.

"You okay?" he inquired gently.

"Yeah," she sighed heavily, her back muscles aching slightly. She opened her eyes, "Bill just wasn't happy that I didn't list him or Mom and Dad or Angie as my next-of-kin." 'At least Angie didn't take much persuading. And Mom and Dad were too relieved to argue too much. I imagine I'll be hearing more about this later though… Either they'll be upset they didn't get the next-of-kin call or Mom will start hinting about a long-term relationship that will end in marriage.'

"Why?"

She looked at him, slightly lost at the sudden turn of the conversation. There was a sinking feeling in her chest that had nothing to do with her injuries and everything to do with her emotions. 'He doesn't know. He hasn't seen me…us. What can I say now?'

Don hurried to clarify, "I mean, um, why did you specify me as your next-of-kin?"

'Only you could ask a question like that and make me feel like this.' Her tired mind struggled to frame an answer that wouldn't betray her true feelings for Don. 'Whatever you do, don't mention that you listed him as next-of-kin because you love him.'

"Well…" Her thoughts were distracted by her realization that the two of them were still holding hands. That was the way he was with her, supportive when she needed him to be and willing to back off when she wanted him to. He looked after her, teased her… Oh, was it all a product of her confused mind? Then another part of her whispered, 'What about that kiss?' Terry wretched herself away from her thoughts; she had let the silence go on too long.

"A next-of-kin needs to be available to make any medical decisions that might arise —" 'I cannot believe I'm quoting from the FBI manual, but that's safe. Yes, it's safe. Well, technically next-of-kin should be a blood relative, not your coworker…'

"—and I, well, I didn't think that my ex would be that receptive to the idea." 'Great job, Terry, you just had to remind him that you were married.' For some reason, she really wanted her inner voice to shut up. "And you know my family: Mom and Dad panic easily, Bill's overseas with the Marines and Angie's still delicate. You just…"

'Think before you speak!' her mind shrieked and Terry chose her words with care "just seemed like a logical choice. I mean," — 'Oh God, I hope this sounds right' — "we've known each other for so long and, in LA, you were perfect for a next-of-kin. But I —" she cut herself off, "It's okay with me if you want me to change it…" She looked away from him. 'And now I've probably ruined any chance I had with him.'

Don squeezed her hand gently as he said quietly, "It's fine with me the way it is. I don't mind." Her heart skipped a beat at his words. Habit caused her to blank her expression. 'Did he mean what I think he just meant? Does he know what he means by those words?' He looked down at their clasped hands, his thumb once again running over her knuckles in a soothing caress.

"This probably isn't the best time to bring it up right now," he said slowly, "but I wanted you to know… Just before you left, in the garage… That wasn't an accident, you know."

"I know," she said, feeling her eyes tearing up. 'Whatever he tells me next… I can't cry; even if it means that we're just friends, just colleagues, not — not something more. I didn't mean to lose control like that, but just the thought of leaving you… It was too much. And I don't want to read too much into the fact you pulled me closer to you and… you haven't lost your touch or your ability to leave me breathless. No, the fact that you kissed me back wasn't an accident. You wouldn't lie to me if it was.'

"Terry…" his voice had a quiet vulnerability as he spoke, "when Jasmine called me, I was… terrified. I've been stubborn, I know. I was afraid that if I said anything, if anything happened to you afterwards… I couldn't live with not being able to protect you." He paused; Terry could see how difficult that confession of fear had been for him. To her surprise, he gave her a small smile, "Not that you can't throw me to the floor in hand-to-hand, but still…. After she called, I realized that — that I couldn't stay quiet. You deserve better. You know that we can't go on like this, not knowing for sure." 'No, we can't,' she agreed silently, willing herself not to cry. "So," Don's eyes met hers and he asked softly, "do you love me?"


She had waited for so long for him to ask the question, but when he did, it still dropped like a bombshell on her. There was a part of her that wanted to scream 'yes' in a highly undignified matter before she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him senseless. There was another part of her that warned that he might have just sensed her emotions toward him and found that they were not returned in like. And, above all, her common sense told her to stay in her hospital bed lest she do further injury to herself.

Unsettled and unsure, she fell back onto old habits and forced herself to ask calmly, "What if I do?"

"Then that's good," he answered quietly.

Unable to leave his answer be, she pressed quietly, "Why?"

"Because I love you," Don confessed in a low whisper. She couldn't help the happy smile that crossed her face, and frankly, she didn't care about staying calm.

"That's good," she replied just as softly, contentment and relief filling her, "That's very good."

"Why?" he asked, his slowly forming grin causing a warm happiness to bubble up inside of her.

"Because I love you," she echoed his words. Boldly, Don moved from his seat to actually sitting on her hospital bed. She leaned slightly towards him as he carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Then she relaxed into him, their bodies fitting together like their linked hands, comfortably and naturally.

"What now?" he asked quietly.

"I guess we'll talk and then we wait." She felt his chin bush against her hair as he nodded. She craned her neck slightly to look at him, causing her to move her injured shoulder right into his pelvic bone, jarring her injury. He shifted his position quickly to support her body better against his chest. They sat in silence for a while. 'A part of me can't believe this is real. But I know it is real; he really is here, holding me; I am hearing his heartbeat with mine…but how are we going to work together now?'

"We're both career-oriented," she warned him.

"I'm willing to make some sacrifices," he told her gently. "This has gone on long enough."

"So am I." She tilted her head slightly. "We're going to be fodder for water cooler gossip." 'And the rumors will fly faster than the speed of light, metaphorically of course, otherwise Charlie would disagree.'

"So?" he shrugged. "I don't think we're the first. I heard something about a couple up in New York who managed it. Even though regulations forbid supervisor-worker relationships, it isn't impossible. You might have to transfer to another team, hopefully not to another office, but as long as I'm not your direct supervisor, there shouldn't be any trouble from the brass. Well, maybe some fuss from Merrick, but no one's going to listen to him. I hope."

She chuckled softly, "Both of our records are good. We've got a chance."

"Rumors are that the Director is thinking about forming another team in the office and your name's on the short list. You've put in a lot of time here and done a great job with David. With the importance of this case, you've got a good shot at that position."

"Let's not get our hopes up," cautioned Terry. 'But I hope that's true. I've just been a profiler for this case, but it has been a major case… Don't plan on dreams that might not come true,' she reminded herself gently. "You know about how accurate rumors are. Speaking of Merrick, what did he want?"

Don sighed, "He wanted to talk about your replacement; offered to let me interview them here."

"Ah," she teased, "that should make your life interesting: an agent fresh out of the Academy." 'Though I would be much happier if you had someone with more experience to back you,' she added mentally. 'Having to handle another new, inexperienced agent two years' in a row is going to be difficult. Of course, David isn't a newbie anymore, but he's still going to need Don's careful attention.'

"Thanks Terry," he said dryly and she grinned at him, "Anytime, Don."

"He also thinks that you're permanently sidelined," he tilted his head, his amusement showing in his warm brown eyes.

"Did he tell you that?"

"He basically implied it."

"Well, then we'll prove him wrong." They smiled at each other, but his grin faded before he said, "He wants me back in L.A. tomorrow."

"A case, right?" She had expected it. Even so, she snuggled as close to him as she comfortably could, careful not to twist her upper body too much. She wanted to remember every thing she could about him. She would need it to sustain her for three months.

"I'm so sorry about this, Terry," he hugged her gently and she knew he genuinely didn't want to leave her while she was stuck in the hospital.

"It's okay, Don." Out of habit, she hid her disappointment. It wouldn't help. Besides, he was still with her and they still had time. "You have a job to do. 'And I don't want to distract you from it. We both have jobs to do.' You don't need to stay here and watch over me. I'll be fine." Terry reached up to place a hand briefly on his arm, "I'll be back in Los Angeles before you know it."

"I know, but I don't know how I'll stand three months without seeing you."

"Well, we're going to have to." She shrugged slightly, "We've done it for one month already." 'Even though it drove me crazy, which may or may not bode well for our relationship.'

"True," he conceded with a small nod. After a brief pause, she switched topics, "So…I'm going to need you…" They continued to talk until she drifted off to sleep in his arms, warm and safe from harm.