Chapter 3

Where to? From Where? What?

"Swordfighting?! What do you mean he's swordfighting. King Thranduil of Mirkwood decides to show up on a moment's notice and he's off swordfighting!" Denethor's screams made all Minas Tirith shield their ears.

"Well, actually, my lord, that's not the entire story," the unfortunate soldier charged with informing the Steward of the absence of his youngest son said meekly. "He went to swordfight with Eomer of Rohan."

"That confounded son of mine. The one day he is needed in his city is th only day he decides to take combat seriously and leaves. Does anyone else in Gondor speak Elvish?" the steward fumed. The soldier said he didn't know, but spared no time in racing to ask Minas Tirith's entire population whether they did. Denethor plopped frustratedly down on his throne. Hew would be certain to give Faramir a harsh lecture about parental respect upon his return.

The soldier raced through the streets of Minas Tirith, thankful to be out of the palace. He hadn't dared to tell the steward, but he knew for a fact that King Thranduil spoke the common tongue.


"Mithrandir, if I'm not mistaken, we are going in circles -very large circles, but circles none the less." Legolas observed.

"Nonsense, Master Elf, I know precisely where we are," Gandalf assured him. Legolas sighed. They had been going on like this for three hours and he was starting to go crazy. He glanced behind him to see what the Hobbits were doing. Frodo and Sam ere close behind, the latter leading his beloved Bill the Pony. Behind them, Gimli was singing some Dwarvish drinking song, which Legolas desperately tried to ignore. Lastly were Pippin and Merry, begging Aragorn and Boromir to carry them. After less than a minute, Boromir scooped up both Hobbits, but found them heavier than he anticipated. He fell forward into Bill, who started and ran off toward Gandalf.

"Hey!" yelled Sam, racing after the animal. Gandalf laughed hysterically as Legolas, seeing Sam would never catch the frightened pony, joined the race. Gimli looked at his three comrades lying on the ground and continued his song. Aragorn chuckled a bit at Gimli's attempt to follow the others in a straight line, and then lent Boromir his hands.

"Hannon Le, Dunedan," Boromir thanked him.

"Yeah, hun in lay," Pippin replied. "Merry, what's a hun in lay?" he whispered. Merry said something in a whisper to Pippin, making the younger Hobbit giggle. Both of them were now well situated in Boromir's arms, and the back half of the Fellowship got moving again. Aragorn was definitely impressed with the Gondorian's ability to carry two hefty Hobbits over a hilly terrain. He wondered what other surprises this man would hold as their quest continued.

Farther ahead, Legolas was still on the brink of insanity. Gandalf was still attempting to collapse the Fellowship by leading them in circles, while affirming that he was doing no such thing. The first straight line Legolas had run since leaving Rivendell was the chase after Bill, which hadn't lasted nearly long enough. Now he had returned to the monotonous circular cycle. To make matters worse, Gimli was now behind him, since Sam had fallen back to see if Strider would carry him. Frodo had followed to see what would happen. Now Legolas slowed his pace and joined the others, leaving Gandalf and Gimli to drive each other bonkers.

"Mae govannen, melloni nin," Legolas greeted them. Boromir smiled.

"You have a very distinct accent. You're from Mirkwood, aren't you?" he inquired.

"Yes," replied Legolas.

"Bilbo went to Mirkwood once," Pippin piped up. "He said the Elves captured him." Merry promptly bonked his cousin on the head with his fist.

"No, no, you lump-headed Took. The dwarves captured him." Legolas was a little confused, because he knew Bilbo's take well, but then he remembered the Hobbits were probably still somewhat drunk.

"Dwarves don't live in Mirkwood," Boromir commented. He apparently hadn't realized the reason for the Hobbits' strange variations on the tale. Pippin looked at Merry, who smiled back in answer.

"But you gotta have FRIENDS!" The two of them sang at the top of their lungs.

"If you two do not shut up, the fury of Mordor, Isengard, and myself will be wielded upon you, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrine Took!" Gandalf shouted, looking terrifyingly sincere. Legolas held his ears, which were ringing painfully, either from the singing or Gandalf's shouting.

"Knock, knock," Pippin cheerfully whispered to Legolas a few moments later.

"What?" Legolas asked.

"No, no. You're supposed to say 'Who's there?'"

"What?" Legolas asked again.

"Uh-oh," said Boromir. This was not good.