Chapter 5: Jokes, Arguments, and Mosquitos

"Hey, Legolas," Pippin said after about an hour of marching to the Fellowship theme.

"What is it, Pippin?"

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?" Legolas asked, with a bit of coaxing from Merry.

"Merry," Merry's ears perked up.

"Merry who?" he asked before Legolas could.

"Marry me, please, Merry," Pippin pleaded, getting down on one knee. A few feet behind them, SAm cringed and tried to do a better job of ignoring the youngest Hobbits. He decided to hum the Fellowship theme, which was effectively stuck in his head.

"Aww," Boromir crooned. Aragorn rolled his eyes. "Knock, knock," the Gondorian squealed in the Ranger's ear.

"Who's there?" Aragorn inquired in his most serious voice.

"Huritha"

"Huritha who?" Aragorn groaned, not wanting to know the punch line, but knowing that Boromir would pester him until he asked.

"Huritha Nazgul's chasing us!" From up ahead, Frodo screamed and scampered around Gandalf.

"Don't let them get me!" he squealed in fright.

"All of you, stop it! You're scaring the ringbearer!" Aragorn shouted. For a moment, everyone froze, except Frodo, who was dashing around as fast as his legs would carry him, swinging his sword. Then Aragorn started smirking. His face blushed pink in an attempt to hide his laughter. He was unsuccessful. In a moment, the Ranger was on the ground laughing his heart out. Pippin and Merry exchanged glances and then rushed forward. They jumped onto Aragorn and started using him as a trampoline. Sam looked on, pleased that someone had finally done what he had wanted to do in Bree. Frodo, who had finally calmed down, was smirking as well.

"All right, gentlemen, it looks like we're going to be left behind if you don't let me go," Aragorn protested. Merry and Pippin looked at each other, shrugged, and continued bouncing.

"Oh, we wouldn't do that, Aragorn. We'll be back when it's time to coronate you," Gandalf laughed. If he had been able to, Aragorn would have run for the hills. As it was, he could go nowhere, so he just grimaced mentally.

"Boromir, what is it?" Frodo asked, approaching him. Boromir looked as if he had been struck by a powerful force. He was sitting on a rock, his eyes gazing off into the east.

"My father," the man whispered, not even looking at Frodo. He said no more. Sam nudged Frodo, urging him to leave the man alone, for he was obviously troubled. The ringbearer couldn't help but look back over his shoulder at the hunched figure who still looked so proud, yet so meek.

"Shouldn't we wait for them, Mr. Gandalf, sir," Sam ventured, referring to the four members of the fellowship who didn't look like they would be moving anytime soon, except vertically.

"They'll catch up," the wizard assured him, leading the rest of the group onward.

"We'll be back for them," Legolas whispered to Sam. "We've already passed this spot ten times."

"I counted eleven," Gimli objected. Legolas glared at him.

"I can assure you, Master Dwarf, we have only passed this spot ten times."

"I don't think so," Gimli objected, growling viciously.

"You are both wrong," Gandalf shouted from up ahead. "We haven't been here but once. NOw come along." Legolas and Gimli continued arguing in hushed tomes so Gandalf couldn't hear them. After a few minutes, Sam got tired of listening and went up to Frodo.

"What are they arguing about, anyway?" Frodo asked. Sam shrugged.

"ONe of them thinks we've circled this spot ten times, the other thinks its eleven."

"Do they have nothing better to do?" Frodo wondered.

"Well, what do you think about while we walk, Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.

"I try to think about the Shire, Sam." A smile crossed Frodo's face and Sam could almost see the fields of the Shire in his master's blue eyes.

"I think about music," Sam said. "Maybe someday someone will make up words to the tune Boromir was humming earlier. I hope not, though. It's easier to march to without words." Sam resumed humming the fellowship theme. After a while, Gandalf looked over his shoulder, felt something in his hat, and removed his hand again. A puzzled expression crossed his face. A few seconds later, he followed the same routine, except on the opposite side. Frodo and Sam exchanged confused glances. Legolas and Gimli were too busy arguing to be confused. After a few more times of repeating this, Gandalf turned around and waved his staff in the air as if trying to hit something.

"Where is that annoying mosquito that sounds like it's in my ear!" He hollered. Frodo and Sam's eyebrows shot up. As Gandalf turned around, Frodo stifled alaugh and Sam turned bright red.

"Ah, it's gone now," Gandalf declared. "Onward!"

"You probably should stop humming for now, Sam," Frodo whispered, once he had caught his breath from laughing.

"Sam, what do you call a mosquito who's singing in December," Legolas asked. Sam blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"What?" he muttered.

" A humbug!" the elf answered. From behind him, Gimli growled.

"That was my punch-line, you no good, slimy elf!" he shouted, looking vicious.

"Who's slimy? You're the one who looks like a snake!" With that, Gimli charged, axe in hand. Legolas dashed away, laughing the whole time.

"Why was it that Elrond didn't want Pippin to come?" Frodo joked, laughing at his two comrades' insanity. Sam shrugged. Everyone was crazy today.