A Job for Sanosuke

Chapter 6 – Hide and Seek in Downtown Tokyo

By Shirou Shinjin.

Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?


People had always made way for Sano; he had always assumed that if it wasn't his unusual height, then it must have been the dangerous air about him that made people step aside when he walked past.

Of course, he suspected that it had more to do with what he was wearing at the moment than anything else. He had been rather startled at first when he found that the majority of people he passed were less interested in mocking him then they were in staring dumbfounded at him. One particular man, who had been pushing a cart full of fresh vegetables, had very nearly thrown his entire load into a river as he stared at Sano. Sano thought this served him right.

Farther down the road, an elderly woman sitting in the shade of a stall selling kimono fabrics looked at him like he'd clearly lost not just his marbles, but the sack they'd come in to boot. Sano gave her a look of disdain and moved on.

The exception had been the little girl that had clapped as he'd walked past, and chattered happily about the "cute man" to her parents. For some reason, Sano couldn't help but feel a little proud at that... and it kinda scared him.

Inwardly, he was thankful that the day was beginning to wind down, and that the throngs of people that would normally pack into the small street had by and large moved on. It not only meant less people to gape at him, but more room to move about with what was sure to be a colossal pile of groceries.

Feeling that the quicker he got this over with, the better, he strode up to the closest fish stall, and stood at the end of the short line. The upper-class looking woman standing in front of him turned around after a few moments, and openly sized him up, before giving him a discourteous sniff.

"So poor you have to wear women's clothes, I see..." she commented snidely, her sense of superiority no doubt swelling.

Sano snorted in response. "Hey, looks better on me than it would on you," he retorted, waving his hand dismissively at her and moving into a more manly pose. The woman looked scandalised for a moment, before turning her nose up in disgust at him and turning away to order her fish.

A cocky grin broke out over his face before Sano realised that what he had just said was quite possibly the first and only intelligent, witty retort he had ever come up with... and no one he knew was there to hear it. And even if he did tell her, the fox probably wouldn't believe him. Rats.

The line slowly moved forward.

Hearing a muffled yell behind him, Sano turned back to the crowd. There were two men, both carrying tall stacks of boxes who had nearly collided with each other. The man on the left was carefully steadying his load whilst the other was being helped by a pretty young woman with long, raven-black hair wearing a colourful blue kimono and equally fetching magenta ribbon...


Kaoru placed the last box of dried fruit back in the man's arms and accepted his thanks with a small smile. She turned to see Kenshin walking up to her, idly watching the man leave.

"What happened, Kaoru-dono?" he asked.

"Oh, he had a bit of an accident. He nearly lost the whole pile when he bumped into someone else," she replied as she dusted her hands off.

"Well, it was a good thing that you were there, Kao..."

He was interrupted as a small crashing sound came from a nearby stall. They both glanced over to the fish stall they had been heading for earlier, to see several customers looking around in confusion, as if something had just disappeared. No one seemed hurt, and nothing appeared to be broken, so Kaoru shrugged it off and headed over to buy the fish. Kenshin also shrugged, before following with a small smile on his face.


The signal took only a moment to get from Sano's brain to his legs. With amazing speed, and a shocking lack of grace, he dived off to the side of the stall and into a pile of foul-smelling crates, the previous occupants of which he really didn't want to know about.

Peering out through the wooden crates, he looked hesitantly over to where the rurouni and Jou-chan stood, looking at where he had been moments before. It had been an act of pure desperation, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. Jou-chan might already know, but he'd be damned if Kenshin was going to find out! He only hoped that Jou-chan would destract Kenshin enough that he wouldn't sense him nearby.

Apparently, she was doing a fine job as he visibly shrugged, and followed Jou-chan over to the stall. While they were engrossed with choosing a suitably fresh-looking fish or two, Sano carefully dug himself a tunnel out of his impromptu burrow, and scampered around the corner when their backs were turned.

He waited until he was sure they had moved on before rounding the corner again. Sure enough, there was no sign of either of them, and he let out a sigh of relief as he walked back up to the stall.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you leaped into that pile of crates?" the owned asked him with a raised eyebrow, his finger idly tapping the counter.

"Uh, I'd really rather not," Sano replied, hesitantly glancing over his shoulder.

"Alright. What will it be, then?"

Was that red he saw? Wait... "what?"

"I said, 'What will it be, then?'," the man repeated, his stony look of disinterest unmoved.

"Oh, uh..." Sano mumbled as he scanned the fish on display. "Four of those," he said, pointing at the fish Tae had indicated on his shopping list, before turning back to scan the crowd. Where had they gone!

The man slowly, and utterly without any concern to how dangerous it was for Sano to be out in the open like this, began wrapping up the fish he'd ordered. One by one. By the time he had carefully wrapped the last fish and placed it before him, Sano was practically bouncing on the spot like Misao after she'd been introduced to "coffee" the first time. "Is that all you would like today, or would you like something else?" the owner asked very slowly, and very deliberately.

Sano caught a glimpse of blue. Blue! It could be... oh wait, no ribbon. Nevermind. Wasn't the guy done yet!

"Perhaps some nice tuna—I've got some excellent samples in the back that I could go and get for you if..."

"What! No, look; just that!"

"Are you sure? I could go out back and take a look..."

"No; I... just... here!" Sano barked as he slammed what he hoped was enough on the table, grabbed the fish, and ducked into the nearest alleyway.

The owner meanwhile, smiled to himself; pleased to have swindled the extra few sen out of the crazy impatient man in pink before turning to his next customer.

Back in the alley, Sano was trying to get his breathing under control. They were here! Why, why, why did they have to be here now! Of all the lousy timing...

Hanging his head, Sano looked down at the shopping list Tae had written. It occurred to him that the majority of the items were somewhat... unusual. Things like gourmet herbs and things he was sure he'd never heard of.

In a rare show of intelligence, a light went on in Sano's head: if he stuck to the weird stuff first, then the odds were that Kenshin and Jou-chan would be off getting the regular stuff they got when they went shopping, and he'd be able to avoid them!

Nodding in satisfaction with his plan, he started making his way to the herb stall indicated on the list.


Kaoru felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as she pushed her way through to the rice merchant. Turning, she regarded Kenshin peering off into the crowds. "What's wrong, Kenshin?"

"Nothing, Kaoru-dono," he replied with an easy smile. "This one just wanted to go purchase some herbs for dinner. This one's supply is running a little low, and there is an excellent stall near here," he added, nodding in the appropriate direction.

Kaoru nodded and smiled. "Alright—I've always loved those stalls... they smell so wonderful!"


Sano looked right. Fat, short guy, old woman in blue kimono, pair of children playing in the street.

Sano looked left. Young couple walking down the street, old guy yelling at children across the street, creepy guy in western suit trying to sell creepy western gadgets.

Sano glanced behind him. Man from earlier with big pile of packages, man with an exceptionally large fish in one hand, and a young mother frantically trying to catch her errant children.

Sano smiled. No Kenshin, and no Kaoru. He was safe, for the moment.

"Oro!"

Sano almost leapt out of his skin as he remembered to look in front of himself, and barely managed to keep from running straight into Jou-chan's back. She had stopped to keep Kenshin from tripping over whatever it was that had made him lose his footing. 'So much for safe,' he thought as he ducked into the nearest stall he could find.

'What the hell is going on?' he thought to himself. 'First the fish stall, now this. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were following me!'

This time, he resolved to keep an eye on them, and watch which way they headed—and go in the opposite direction.

"Aah, I've been expecting you," an aged voice croaked behind him.

"What?" Sano exclaimed, darting his gaze to the woman seated behind him.

"I said I've been expecting you," she repeated through the haze that seemed to permeate the tiny room they were in.

"Yeah right," Sano mumbled, trying to keep an eye on the rurouni through the bustling crowds.

"Indeed I have. I foresaw you coming to see me, yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes! You are a man with questions. A man with questions who seeks answers. Answers that I can give you, mmm," the woman said, nodding to herself.

"What on earth are you babbling on about?" Sano demanded, finally turning to face the woman.

"I am..." she began, before pausing for dramatic effect. "A seer."

Sano rolled his eyes and turned back to the crowd. Which was now missing one rather conspicuous redhead. "Damn! I don't suppose you can see a short guy with red hair?" he muttered, furious with himself for losing Kenshin at a critical time like this.

"A red haired man? I shall..." she paused once again, "attempt to find him." The woman now began rubbing her temples and making weird noises in the back of her throat. Sano was still looking for Kenshin.

"Ooh!" the woman suddenly exclaimed. "I see him!"

Sano whipped around. "What? Where?"

"I see him... the man with red hair..."

"Yes; where is he?"

"He is... with another..."

"Yes... and!"

"He has spurned your love for him."

"And he... WHAT!" Sano all but screeched.

"I can see it in your eyes..." the woman replied, staring into him. "You burn with passion for this man."

Sano was actually speechless.

"You desperately try to show him your feminine side, but he has spurned your love for another man."

"I... you... you're crazy!" Sano spluttered, at a lack for anything else to say.

"No! You are, child! You hide your feelings from him—you must go to him and declare your passions before him!"

Sano had had quite enough of this. "Damnit! This is ridiculous—I'm out of here!"

"Wait! Come back! You haven't paid... oh damn. I didn't have to be a prophet to see that coming. Oh well, I'll get a fortune right one of these days..."

With that, she lit up another cigarette—the stall was running low on ominous smoke...


Sano frantically searched the bustling crowds, his eyes darting to and fro, seeking even a glimpse of red hair.

Nothing.

He cursed his own haste, having now lost the rurouni and Jou-chan, and thus having no idea where they went. Nonetheless, they weren't here now, so he may as well pick up those herbs Tae wanted. He quickly strode over to the stall, bought the herbs and disappeared back into the side-streets, checking over his shoulder all the while.

On his way to the next stall to buy some fancy noodles, he very nearly ran straight into the redhead as he was about to leave an alley. He barely managed to hide behind a pile of shipping crates when he heard Kenshin talking to Kaoru.

As he argued with a vendor over the price of the Kobe beef, a faint "oro" drifting on the wind was his only warning to hurry up and get out of the area.

After fifteen minutes of these near-misses, Sano was convinced he was being followed. But that didn't make any sense since half the time Kenshin and Jou-chan were ahead of him... Thankfully, he was now more or less finished with the groceries. Carefully double-checking the list in his right hand and the gargantuan pile of packages balanced precariously on his left, he nodded in satisfaction and made to leave...

...right as his unknowing pursuers rounded the corner.

With no time to look, he darted into the nearest building, and hid around the doorway. If the shop's owner noticed, they didn't mention it. As they neared, he could make out their conversation.

"...and it had three holes in it, and I really wanted one!" Kaoru chattered excitedly.

"Well, this one will have to look into it next time he is in the area."

"Mmm. Oh, hey! Look at that fabric! It's just what I've been after!"

'Uh oh.'

"Are you making a new kimono, Kaoru-dono?"

"Well, it has been a while... and my yellow one is getting a bit old. But look at this... it's such a vibrant shade of red! I'll just go ask the seller how much it is."

'No no no! Yellow is good; yellow is great! Don't come in here!' Sano thought, starting to panic. He could hear Kaoru pick up the bolt of cloth, and the unhurried clacking of her geta as she walked to the doorway, and the scraping of Kenshin's zori as he followed. If they stepped inside, they'd see him immediately.

He was getting ready to just rush past them and hope they didn't recognise him when...

"Kaoru-dono. It is getting a little late. Perhaps you could come back tomorrow when you have more time and take a more thorough look around. You would not want to make a hasty purchase."

The beads of sweat slowly trickled down Sano's face as Kaoru thought on this, the pair standing just shy of his hiding spot.

"I suppose you're right, Kenshin. Besides, you're already carrying enough for one day." He heard her put the bolt back on the table, and walk away with the rurouni.

As soon as this was over, he was going to buy Kenshin a big bottle of sake. Of course, he couldn't ever tell him why, but that didn't matter.

Deciding not to push his luck, he darted out of the door as soon as he felt it was safe, and made his way back to the Akabeko in record time.


"Welcome back, Sano-han. I see you managed to get everything on the list!" Tae said, greeting him emphatically once he got back to the Akabeko. Sano's response was a weak grumble, which Tae mistook for him being tired. "Not to worry, just one more thing to do today, and then you're free."

"Yeah, yeah... I got it. Taking care of the evening crowd, right?" Sano asked, putting down the last of the parcels and making his way back towards the front.

"Oh heavens, no. Yahiko and Tsubame can take care of that. I need your help with something... special."

"I don't like special. Special means painful," Sano replied flatly.

"Don't be silly, Sano-han," Tae said with a big smile. "I'm having some friends over, remember? I'll need your help with preparing the meal, and getting it all out to them. Since there are so many people, the dishes are probably a bit big for Tsubame and Yahiko to handle."

On the surface, this seemed to be perfectly logical and wholly reasonable. But by now, Sano had learned that Tae could be unspeakably evil whilst still being perfectly logical and wholly reasonable. She was just wily like that. At least the kitsune was up-front...

"I don't suppose I really have a choice, do I?"

Tae beamed. "You catch on quick! Now, go grab some woks, and get them on the fire in the kitchen..."


All in all, preparing the meal hadn't been too bad. A bit hot, maybe, but Tae handled most of the cooking. He was usually relegated to ingredient-fetching type tasks, which he was perfectly happy with. Oddly, Tae seemed to be perfectly happy as well. Sano really, really hoped that was just because she had been enjoying her torture of him thus far, and not because she was looking forward to something.

An hour or so after they began, the meal was ready. Tae left to see her now-arriving guests into the private booth whilst Sano guarded the food in the kitchen from the vulture-boy Yahiko. He'd been eyeing the delicious-smelling food for the last half an hour, and Sano was under strict orders to keep him out of it. And himself, much to his disappointment.

"Come on... just one piece!" Yahiko pleaded for the fourth time in the last thirty seconds.

"Forget it, Yahiko-chan. Ain't gonna happen," Sano asserted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Yahiko scowled and tried to burn a hole through Sano with his eyes. When it was obvious that this wasn't working, he decided to try a different approach. "Look out, Sano!" he exclaimed, pointing at the bubbling woks behind Sano's back. "Something's burning!"

Sano shook his head. "Nice try; but I ain't falling for it."

"How do you know I'm lying?"

"Because—as soon as I've turned my back, you'll reach over and make off with some beef or something!"

"And what if I'm not lying?"

That was the million-yen question. In that case, Sano would be in deep trouble when Tae came back to find her meal ruined. Damnit... outwitted by the little brat. Unless...

Sano sighed heavily. "Oh all right... just one piece, and no more!"

"Alright!" Yahiko whooped and walked over to claim his prize.

Sano got some chopsticks, and pulled a piece of meat out of the closest wok. "Hold out your hands."

Yahiko obliged. Before he knew what had happened, the beef was in Sano's mouth, and Sano's bandanna was tied around Yahiko's hands. "Hey, what the..."

"Ha! Can't steal any meat with your hands tied up like that, can ya?" Sano gloated as he chewed on his ill-gotten beef.

Yahiko started shaking with rage. "You... you... aarrgh!" Yahiko leapt at Sano, who deftly sidestepped, sending Yahiko sprawling onto the floor.

Tae chose that moment to walk into the doorway. "Could you bring out the first course, please? And Yahiko, try not to get your uniform dirty." With that, she retreated back into the private booth.

Sano looked down at Yahiko who just scowled back at him. Sano reached over, and pulled his bandanna off Yahiko's hands and tied it back around his head. "No touching while I'm gone. If I find even one tofu cube missing, I'll tie you to the support beams in the roof."

Threat delivered, he picked up the wok and made his way out the door and into the booth. Inside, Tae was animatedly chatting to one of her friends. Sano made his way to the table and sat the wok down, all the while congratulating himself on his clever foil of Yahiko's devious plan. He then stood up to get a look at Tae's friends.

It was a good thing that Sano had just put the wok down; if he hadn't, he would have dropped it the moment he realised who was sitting around the table.


Author's Rambling

At last, it's over! What? No, I mean this chapter; not the story. Still have one more chapter left, and the epilogue before I'm done here.

As you can probably guess, this chapter took me a while. Aside from being distracted by university, I've also been distracted by my old addiction: World of Warcraft, and my new addiction: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Not exactly conducive to writing. I'm hoping (but not promising) that the next chapter will be out sooner.

A few notes on this chapter: for those who haven't guessed, the "seer" that Sano meets is a amalgam of Yoda (try saying her third and fourth lines in a Yoda voice to see what I mean), and a Tauren. See, Tauren are these big sentient cows in World of Warcraft, and one of the lines they will continually use when you talk to them is "Aah, I've been expecting you." Expecting me? What rubbish; you're just making that up to sound mysterious! Always had a bee in my bonnet about that /grin.

Now, I doesn't surprise me that everyone guessed whose door Sano was standing outside at the end of Chapter 3... but I'm willing to bet a chocolate cookie that no one will guess who is sitting around the table. All I will say is that Sano's real punishment begins next chapter...

Speaking of the next chapter, Tae's revenge will come to a close, things will be wrapped up, and I'll try to throw one last curve-ball your way.

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

19th April, 2006

This chapter's title is loosely based on the title of one of Stephen King's books, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I say "loosely based" since they both have the same number of words...

Special Thanks

To SiriusFan13 for giving the chapter the once-over.