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Chapter Sixteen.
The first step to deal with a problem is to acknowledge that it exists – that it is real, and it is burdensome.
Now the second step can be disputed, but for Allie, her next step in how to deal with any problem, either big or small, was to shove so deep down inside of her, down to the bottom of her feet where she would then grind its existence into the dirt with her heel, where it would then become one with the soil beneath her and she could pretend it never existed in the first place, that it was six feet under and wasn't going to crawl up to grab a hold of her ankle and drag her down with it. That was how she had spent most of her life and it had worked thus far, therefore what wasn't broke, meant she was not even going to try and fix it.
But the problem with ignoring problems regardless of what they were was that they festered, aging like a rotten wine in the back of her skull until it was poisoned, bloating, and seeking to consume her entirely to ease the hunger that had been eating away it from as a result of her starving it from any attention. It would get to her when she was asleep, lost in her own dreams and it would snatch her away from the bliss of being unconscious and she would find herself trapped with her own demons, ones she had created, and they were there for a reckoning – her reckoning. Even when she woke up, she could still taste blood that had gotten into her mouth, staining her tongue, clinging to her cheek like a mouth sore.
Burying skeletons in her closet didn't mean that they went away.
Allie didn't think she was prone to dramatics, in fact she thought herself to be quite logical and reasonable at times, acting as a foil to Lisa's eccentricity in their many years of friendship; however, this was new – foreign, unknown, and definitely unwanted as she tried to grab that bundle of feelings that were cooing whenever she caught a glimpse of brown eyes and dark hair and shove those new emotions into a void that she could ignore until the end of time.
She was twenty-five – she had accomplished nearly everything a young adult needed to check of their list of becoming a true adult; she had gotten drunk, she had driven a car, had crashed said car, had done taxes and cried while doing them, had worked a shift that was longer than eight hours, had refused to go to the emergency room when she had broken her pinkie toe and Lisa had made her a make shift split out of a toothpick for her and it had healed perfectly fine without her dropping god knows how many thousands of dollars for a doctor to tell her it was broken. Allie had done all that and was half way to thirty and thought she more than earned the title of being a functioning, working adult.
But she had never liked anyone.
A quarter of a century alive, and she had never actually liked a person, had never met someone that made her stomach knot in ways that books described, made her be reduced into a babbling, incomprehensible mess as she tried to string together one coherent thought for her voice to speak. There was that one guy in college who she couldn't even really remember, how long had they dated? A month? Two? Allie couldn't really recall, having repressed that brief relationship into the deep recesses of her mind, burying it in the back of her skull so as to not cringe at having to recall the man she had lost her virginity to and how he had been obsessed with the surfer guy aesthetic that was trapped in the early 2000's. That had been the extent of her romantic life, any others that came after him were first dates that never became second dates, matches on tinder that fizzled out after too many how are you's and please send nudes please, please, please's.
But Tony Stark…
People usually are able to provide a plethora of reasons for having feelings for a person, but for Allie, all her reasons were… well, she didn't know her reasons. Was there any reasoning behind liking someone? He made her laugh, he shared her sense of humour and never took offense to her sarcastic remarks. He was kind, he liked his coffee black and no sugar even though she despised the taste and smell of it, just like how she hated how Tony was always covered in grease and oil and couldn't remember when he last ate a vegetable or a fruit because he was too busy working on his suits. God, and how he would always tease her relentlessly whenever she got a little too star struck around those hunks of metal and would ask if Iron Man were her favourite Avenger, as if he could tell how it riled her up and made her face burn a bright red. It was if he always knew the exact thing to make her trip up, his brain moving at a million miles a minute, a pace that she could never keep up with, always lagging behind and always being out of reach.
And there was the fact he had once called her taste in music old fashioned, all because she told him her favourite singer was Billy Joel; the audacity! Allie couldn't believe that he had the gall to call her old fashioned in any sense of the word when she was pretty sure computers didn't even exist when he had been born. Not to mention he always dressed like he didn't have money practically spilling out of the pockets of his pants, but on the flip side never seemed to care about money either, with a flick of his wrist he would sign over hundreds of thousands of dollars as Allie gaped, the sheer amount of zeroes he would write making her almost faint at the sight. Though, she supposed that was better than him hoarding all his wealth like a zealous dragon who would froth at the mouth at the very idea at anyone trying to make him part with a single coin.
Not to mention he was stubborn and never liked to take things seriously, or how he always managed to distract when all she wanted to do was to buckle down and get her work done but then somehow would managed to end up playing go fish with him (that he would always try but never succeed to turn into strip go fish). At times he infuriated her, made her fit to crack her head against her desk and wring his neck since he could be so irksome and frustrating at times and Alyson wondered how he didn't topple over from how big his head was.
And yet, despite it all, here she was, like a fool.
Allie paused in her walking, coming to a standstill as a sigh rushed past her lips, hand cradling her forehead at she forced her thoughts to stop; how was she going to cope when she felt like a schoolgirl with a crush on a teacher? It was ridiculous how even thoughts of him reduced her to being like this, that even when trying to convince herself of his flaws, they didn't bother her nearly as much as they should have, which is to say they didn't trouble her at all. She wasn't a big enough idiot to trick herself into thinking that whatever she felt didn't exist at all, but Allie knew that the more she pondered on her own feelings, the more aware of them she would be of their existence and that perhaps putting them on the back burner for her to ignore would allow herself to deal with them better, even if they were to fester into something all consuming.
Allie gave a nod, hitting her fist with her palm and agreeing that she could pretend that it was nothing, and if she pretended really hard then perhaps, she could speak it into existence. Perhaps it was just a schoolgirl crush, becoming all tongue tied as a result of a handsome, older guy showing her even a modicum of attention and kindness and she couldn't remember the last time any man who was as handsome as Tony Stark gave her the time of day. He was the Tony Stark, who wasn't going to get a little star struck being around him all the time? Men and women could be friends, and she would be damned if she let her stupid brain mess things up; it was her brain after all, and she was the one in control. Allie's march continued on, determined with her new mindset that perhaps in a few weeks, she would look back and laugh at herself and how she acted, coming to a stop in front of the elevators and ready to call it by the button when a ding went off.
The elevator doors opened, and she watched her warped reflection detract away but instead of empty space, her eyes met brown and Allie was sure she might have jumped out of her shoes at the sight of him in front of her had she not quelled the impulse to; all thoughts of her previous pep talk were dashed and her heart stumbled in her chest at the sight of him, betraying her instantly without any care or thought about how desperate she was to keep everything under wraps. For a brief moment, Allie took him in, drinking in the sight of him wearing nice clothes, hair tamed, and beard shaped but that was all a guise; she could see the smears of purple hanging underneath his half lidded eyes, the way he mimicked her nearly jumpy and he was rarely, if ever, had Allie seen him quick to scare. Another restless night of sleep she surmised, eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the sight of him, seeping into concern at what it was that possibly made him crawl from his safe space. "Mr. Stark! What are you - ?"
Before her sentence finished, his hands were on her shoulders, warm large and a tight grip that took hold of her and she was powerless as Tony spun Allie right where she stood, her world a whirl as she found herself facing back the way she came as he began to push his weight forward, making Allie's feet march ahead, completely not on her own volition. She felt as if the spin had scattered her thoughts as a result of this sudden, strange turn of events as Tony pushed her from behind, guiding her back down the hall. His voice was taught, stressed as if he were shoving it through a tightness in his chest, scraping out what it could. "Turn around, we got to go."
Picking up the pieces of her loose thoughts and putting them back together Allie's confusion trebled, her body being driven like a vehicle ever onwards without her say; she was so sure that there was nowhere they had to be today, but that didn't mean he wasn't prone to his eccentricities and would rarely let her know what was going on, often making her just a reluctant passenger in for a ride. Still, she let her feet continue on as she tried to understand. "'Go'? What does that mean?"
"It means to travel from one location to another; really, Allison, and you said you studied English?"
An exasperated sigh left her. "Mr. Stark, I know what it means – "
"Oh, good, I was worried for your competency there for a moment."
"I mean, where are we going, and why?" She asked, exasperated, finally using every ounce of her very small, limited strength to dig her heels into the ground and force her body to a stop, nearly causing herself to tumble forward when Tony kept pushing forward for a brief moment, hands still on her shoulder before she turned around, facing him entirely with narrowed eyes; being able to look at him, she could gauge his reaction, noticing how he seemed wound up, a string that was pulling on him tighter and tighter to the point it might result in him exploding; his anxiety was acting up, that much she could see, and he was trying so desperately to keep it under wraps, to appear calm, cool, collected as he normally pretended to be when in public. Allie was sure she would never have scheduled anything that would get him this worried, mind trying to recall her planner that she had on her phone, one she checked every morning and the night before just to make sure she wasn't going to mess something up; but nothing came to mind and Allie's concern grew as she watched him fiddle with the watch he had on his wrist, as if the small hand ticking away was irritating him. "I don't remember scheduling anything for today."
Tony gave a shake of his head, strands of his perfectly styled hair falling free and catching on the curve of his ear. His voice was worn, drawn out and she wondered if he even slept at all the night before. He was standing close to her, the smell of his cologne enveloping her, and she tried not to visibly take a deep breath, flames fanning in her cheeks as air stuttered in her throat, caught on a blush that was creeping up and feeling far too hot that she knew her face would end up turning scarlet; Allie quashed those thoughts and feelings with the heel of her shoe, hissing that now was not the time for such frivolous things. Tony's hand went away from his wrist watch, taking to pinching the bridge of his nose as wrinkles formed on his brow, deepening as a sight rushed passed his lips. "No this, this is a recent development."
"How recent?" Allie inquired.
He paused, face screwing up before going to count on his fingers, mouthing numbers with each movement before giving a nod and face her, brown eyes glued to grey. "Since the time it took me to get up the elevator."
A groan left Allie as Tony moved past her, forcing her to follow him in a trudge, shoulders slumped and her voice taking on a whining tone; however, much she was subjected to his sudden decisions, it didn't mean she had to like them, or even put up with them in an amicable manner that would befit her position as being his assistant; her legs fought to catch up, taking a grip of her bag that hung from her shoulder as she tried to keep pace with him. However short he may be, she was much shorter than him and was forced to take quick, long strides to match him. "I haven't put any of my stuff down or grabbed what I need!"
Tony gave a wave of his hand, brushing aside her concerns as he took the sunglasses that lay hanging from his breast pocket, unfolding them and placing them on his eyes, expertly concealing the bruises of exhaustion that had been carved into his skin; "Don't worry, you won't need it. It's a personal meeting."
Allie cocked her head to the side, a frown bending her lips downwards. "If its personal, why am I going?"
Tony stopped without looking at her and her feet stumbled to a stop, nearly tripping forward as she stood side by side with him, trying to gauge his reaction as he whipped to face her, face screwed up as he used his index finger to push his glasses down the line of the bridge of his nose, peering at her over the top of the rim and trying to pick her face apart. "Do you not want to?"
Allie paused, response stunted briefly as she considered his words, his face and how he was looking at her, almost… pleading? No, that couldn't be right. It was her job, why wouldn't she be going with him? "I… No, I want to go. I'm just confused."
"You can be confused and walk at the same time, let's go," he said, pushing his glasses back into place, clicking his fingers and once more making strides forward and Allie was too befuddled to do the same, not for the first time feeling as if she was not only leagues behind his train of thought, but that they weren't even stopped in the same station at times. Giving a shake of her head, hair bouncing around her, Allie's feet began to move again, playing catch up with the small space created between them.
"I need to call a driver!"
"No need, I can drive," Tony said with a wave of her hand and Allie didn't even attempt to stop how her eyebrows jumped up her forehead.
"You can drive?" She didn't even try to hide her surprise; she wasn't stupid, she knew he could drive, it's just she never had actually seen him drive by himself, mind thinking back to the gossip articles of his drunk driving incidents that seemed frequent back in the early 2000's; he seemed to go through cars as quickly as some people went through shoes, and Allie hoped that maybe the years had caused him to be a bit more careful on the road. She couldn't even drive herself, having been scared of being behind a wheel and the thought of being in a car with someone who was reckless made her stomach knot itself. Last thing she wanted was to end up like a spilled glass of milk on the concrete road.
"Yes, is there an echo in here or is it just me?" He asked, looking around generally as if he expected someone or something to jump from the shadows to confirm his words and Allie couldn't suppress how she rolled her eyes, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, deciding that maybe today was one of those days where he was going to be antsy; she liked to think she was good at not only predicting his mood, but dealing with it too, and whatever was bothering him was seeping outwards, slipping through the cracks and he hated it, hated that whatever was bothering him was affecting him even if he wouldn't tell her, and Allie wouldn't force him to do so anyways.
"Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist."
"I'm not wearing any."
A sigh left Allie, not even bothering to contest his words. "Of course, you're not, Mr. Stark."
Despite Allie's protests and doubt, Tony could actually drive, even if at times she had to hold tightly to her seatbelt for fear of being thrown through the glass windshield at how quickly he hit the brakes, stomach turning upside down and the muffin she had eaten as breakfast nearly making a reappearance; other than turning a bend too sharply a few times and stopping the car too quickly, he wasn't that bad of a driver, though Allie could hardly say a word of criticism since she didn't even know how to drive a car at all since living in New York meant there was no need to as any distance anywhere could be achieved with her own two, sturdy and uncrashable legs. Getting through traffic was the worst part, and they fought over music – his system was loaded with what appeared to be every song that could possibly exist, yet he had had quickly smacked her hand away when she tried to change the music from something other than AC/DC.
Allie had not yet mustered the courage to ask him where they were going, hadn't even the spine to ask him what had him so worked up, hands gripping the wheel tightly and turning his skin a pale yellow, pulled tautly over bone and threatening to rip the leather; she had even checked her phone and nothing appeared in the planner, so perhaps it was something that had cropped up without her notice, sent directly to him and her curiosity was eating away at her endlessly, teeth capturing her bottom lop and chewing on it in place of gnawing of her nails, a habit she was trying to kick but was instead being replaced. Whatever, or whoever, it was that was bothering him, Allie knew pushing for an answer wouldn't get her anywhere – if he needed time, then so be it and if he didn't want to tell her, then she would just have to accept that too.
Not for the first time, Allie was worried about him; it seemed to be all she ever did, endless concern and constant fretting, wondering if he was sleeping enough, if he had even eaten anything that morning though she already knew he didn't. It was part of her job, she convinced herself, agonising over his wellbeing even if it meant losing sleep over it, over him. How could she not? Even despite having tried to convince herself that whatever her feelings were nothing more than a brief infatuation, Allie was feeling all too consumed by them; even being in the same, small space as him had felt too much and she forced herself to remain calm, to not let him affect her but her resolve was weakening by the passing second.
Pulling up the car, Allie tried not to gape at the sheer size of the building, peering out from the car window as she attempted to find its peak. It was modern, large glass pane windows that opened the inside out into the world, with the early sun rising behind it and casting long shadow from behind it; it was winter and it was only beginning to brighten up, the sky clear and giving the false impression of it being warm outside until Allie stepped from the car, clenching her teeth so they wouldn't chatter as she pulled her bag over head, grateful for her smart thinking in bringing her heavy jacket with her; it had been darker earlier that morning and colder too, but inside Tony's car she had managed to warm up her toes and now she was being cruelly being ripped away from its embrace.
She heard the beep of him locking the car and waited for him to round its hood, not the least bit bothered by the low temperatures as Allie turned to make her way towards the entrance of the building before she felt something touch her arm and Allie turned, Tony having stopped and looking almost… nervous, as if ready to throw up whatever was in his stomach. She had never seen him like this, pale and she watched as he slyly wiped his hands on his jacket, trying to wash away the sweat that was clinging there. Was he having another panic attack? His breathing seemed fine, and he looked like he had himself under control, deep breaths filling his chest and he turned his attention to her. "How do I look?"
Allie blinked, mouth parting and his words went over her head, around it and then into her ears, making her dizzy. "What?"
"Maybe I'll have to change my name to Echo Man since I seem to have to repeat myself," he half joked but there was a tension in his voice that made her cease her usual sarcasm that would meet his. She took his request into serious consideration, pausing to be rooted in the spot, staring at him to give him her seal of approval, ignoring how he stood with his arms slightly outstretched, and eyebrow raised over his glasses, as if to show her that he was waiting and wouldn't continue on until she gave him a reply; Allie tried not to let the thought of him basically asking her to check him out to get to her as she chewed the inside of her cheek and turned to give him her full attention.
Trying not to make a show of it, Allie quickly washed her eyes over him, the dark navy suit he wore – it was a three piece, finely made and worth more than her rent without a single crease in it and his dark red tie was pinned straight, a golden clip keeping it in place and his white shirt was buttoned up to his neck, the very top one undone and leaving him room to breathe. It was nice, fitting, she tried not to let her eyes linger on his arms and how she could see their outline, the way her eyes followed the line of his neck and she could feel that betraying heat slink its way into her cheeks, almost choking her as she became shy in how abashed she was in her eyes looking over him; his hair was perfectly coiffed, so differently from its usual mess save for a single strand that stood out of place, glossed over when he had been styling it and her hand twitched at her side, as if itching to push it in place but Allie stopped herself before she could indulge in it. She felt shy almost, voice a soft murmur as she spoke. "You look fine. Don't worry."
He gave a short bout of laughter, the sound almost dry and she looked up through her lashes at him, catching sight of the amused glimpse that shone in his deep brown eyes and his hands were in his pockets, gait light as he sauntered towards the imposing building in front of them. The sound echoed in Allie and she tried to ignore how it made her heart jump into her throat. Oh, God, she was down bad, and he really had no idea. "'Don't worry,' she says. Easier said than done."
"Well then, you better start working on it," she retorted, pushing away how abashed she felt from her eyes roaming over him and tried to push that feeling far away and out of her thoughts; Allie gathered her scattered mind, keeping pace with him as she unstuck her tongue from the roof of her mouth, ignoring how with each step, her arm swung and brushed against his. The building loomed overhead as they drew near and it cast a long, cool shadow, goosebumps rippling over Allie's flesh at the change in temperate; it was almost Christmas and she was beginning to feel the change in weather all too well and she knew her wardrobe was going to have to change from pencil skirts and blouses to pants.
Allie grabbed the handle, pulling the door open for Tony before he could do it himself and he peered at her from the corner of his eye, pausing for a moment before continuing through, Allie following suit and trying to keep her gaze from wandering around to take in every inch of the inside; it was all white marble and grey steel, people milling about in their suits and dress shoes, lanyards around their necks with ID's and Allie craned her neck back to peer at the ceiling that reached heights she never dreamed of; Allie realised she never actually really knew what it was that Stark Industries actually did, that she hadn't ever looked into it since it wasn't part of her job description, though she knew tech was part of their gig. Working in big companies like these were not her dream and had never interested her since the thought of working desk jobs and having her entire life being looked into before even being offered to work made her palms clammy and chest tight. This was Lisa's forte, she had been a white collar worker since leaving high school and all through university and Allie knew that she aimed for places higher than she could reach, places such as Stark Industries. It should have been Lisa working this job and she would have done it all in four inch heels.
So entranced in taking in her surroundings, she barely took notice of the figure barrelling towards them, almost bumbling through the working crowd to make his way to Tony, face looking slightly red through Allie couldn't tell if it were from trying to move too fast or from annoyance; thought she safely assumed it was the latter when he drew nearer and gave an exasperated sigh when he reached Tony. "Eighteen times – eighteen times you called me this morning."
A smile bloomed across Tony's face at the sight of the other man and Allie lagged behind, trying to discern what was happening and who this was, though no name or face came to mind. "And most of those would have held a good morning if you picked up, do I not get one back?"
"I've been calling you, why haven't you picked up?"
"I wanted to see if that vein in your forehead would finally pop," Tony joked, light hearted and not at all dismayed by the other man's less than pleased reaction at his jokes, as if he was unfortunately used to them. "Obviously, I don't have my phone, Happy."
"So you managed to lose your phone in the ten seconds it took for me to call you back?"
"Yes, otherwise I would have picked up. Keep up, Happy."
"I'm busy, I'm a busy man and I have things for doing, you know that?"
Tony gave a sniff, hand placing itself over his heart and throwing an insincere look of being touched by his words. "It's all I ever think about."
"Tony, you – " Happy said, looking ready to give off to Tony before his eyes found here, feet pausing and causing Allie to still in her own pace, trying not to be affected by his glare that peered down at her, looking at Allie as if she had committed some crime and, in return, she attempted to throw a polite, innocent look back at him. He didn't seem to believe it, leering down at her in distrust and it made her entire body feel taut under his stare. "Can I help you?"
Allie was startled at his tone, at how he stared at her with a pointed gaze that made her insides knotted; for a moment, she lost herself, brain suddenly undergoing maintenance as she opened her mouth, though nothing of use would come forth. "I…"
Tony gave a cough, clearing his throat and he stepped closer to her, his presence burning a mark into her before his arm made its way around her shoulders, pulling her into his side and Allie could barely suppress the sound that was threatening to fall from her lips, wide eyed and staring at Happy, who mimicked her, unblinking as he stared at Tony's arm around her. A wire was wrapping itself around her thundering heart and Allie frantically tried to remain an outward appearance of warm professionalism, even though all she her mind could think of was Tony's arm around her shoulder and having her pulled in close to him. God, could they see how red her face was? Allie cursed herself for being so quite to let her emotions get the better of her and she attempted to stifle any shocked look that flashed over her face by shooting Happy, what she hoped was, an unperturbed smile. "She's more so here to help me."
Happy was slow in turning back to Tony, face enshrouded in doubt, reserved as he gave Tony a knowing look, a knowing look that Allie didn't understand. "To help you?"
"Yes, hi, hello, I'm Allison Lawrence," Allie greeted, stepping away from Tony's arm around her shoulders, beaming up at Happy with her hand outstretched but he stared at her bare hand, as if the formal introduction was foreign to him, that he had never even heard of a handshake before and it made Allie falter, smile falling ever so slightly the longer Happy continued to stare and not return her greeting; her hand twitched, arm growling limp and beginning to return to its place hanging at her side.
Tony's lips curved downwards, a frown etching itself onto his mouth as he rolled his weight onto one leg, the other's foot tapping on the ground in a steady beat as Happy left Allie hanging, humiliation creeping its way into her face, burning her skin and leaving her unable to speak at being ignored; it's not like she had never experienced it before in her other jobs, was barely even seen as a real person at times, but being outright snubbed left a decaying feeling in her chest, wanting to crawl into the deepest pit on Earth and just lie in it. "The woman said 'hello', shake her hand, Happy."
Happy looked to Tony and seemed taken aback by his words. "What?"
Allie gave a nervous laugh, shaking her head and trying to dispel the very awkward vibe that was settling in on them. "No, it's okay, we don't – "
Tony ignored her, her words brushing off of him as he spoke to Happy. "It's basic manners, didn't I ever teach you that? Shake her hand."
"Tony – " Happy began, a groan leaving him but said man did not like his words to be taken lightly.
"You're going to make us even more late if you don't," Tony warned Happy, face serious and the threat heavy and for a moment, Allie held her breath, trying to ignore the feeling in her chest at Tony's words, squishing the quirk that tugged on the corner of her lips, reaching outwards with an open palm, and waiting as Happy tried to maintain the stare before succumbing to it, yielding entirely as he finally decided to mimic Allie and he took her hand in his.
Ever maintaining the air of professionalism, Allie gave the other man a winning smile, catching the sight of Tony's approving nod from the corner of her vision. "Allison Lawrence."
Happy gave a curt nod in response as they gave a brief, brisk shake of their clasped hands. "So, you said."
"And this, Allison, is Happy Hogan since he doesn't seem capable of saying his own name."
"It's a pleasure to – " She began but was cut off before finishing, Happy breaking away from their handshake and holding it up in acknowledgement of her greeting before directing a scrutinising stare back at Tony, lips pursing; Allie's mouth still hung open from her attempt at a polite introduction and she gradually retracted her hand from open space, fingers curling in on her palm as she tried to ignore at how she felt slighted, pushing the emotion deep, deep down into her psyche. She had dealt with ruder people before, this was nothing new; in her mind, she would pretend to give off, but bit her tongue for fear that her brain would take control and spew what was going through her thoughts at that moment.
Happy's voice dropped, a hushed sound that masqueraded as his attempt to whisper despite the fact she could still hear them loud and clear, gripping the strap of her bag and rolling back and forth on the heels of her shoes to stem the uncomfortable atmosphere that was settling onto her. "This is a private meeting, what's going on?"
Tony didn't look up to respond, sucking his teeth as he continued to eye his watch, tapping the glass, and turning without warning away from them; his two companions hurried to follow, keeping up with his marching pace as he seemed preoccupied with distracting his mind on fiddling with the watch. "We can walk and talk at the same time, move along people."
Slowing from her small job, "I didn't realise I'm not supposed to be here."
Just as quickly as he had started, Tony stopped, feet breaking and turning to face her and the two others did the same, shoes rooting to the reflective, marble floors as Tony turned to look at Allie, as if perplexed by her words and she stared back at him, lost in her own confusion as they continue to not break away from one another; had she said something wrong? Even though she could not see his eyes hidden behind the dark tint of his glasses, she could feel him casting her a stupefied stare, as if it were the silliest thing she could have said at that moment. "Of course, you're supposed to be here."
Happy's surprise was apparent as he snapped towards Tony. "She is?"
"I am?" Allie echoed, eyes wide and blinking in astonishment;
Tony looked around the place, shoulders tight as his voice became taut. "Am I speaking another language? Can no one understand me?"
Happy seemed full of sighs, hands reaching up to each temple and fingers taking on a circling motion, eyes closed and trying to calm himself as if it were an unconscious habit he had developed from the past. "I can understand, but I want to understand you right."
"That's what understand means, Happy," Tony shot back through a tight grin.
Happy gave Tony a hard stare that lingered for a moment before he turned to Allie fully, that same look being cast onto her and making her back straighten, her posture stiff as an expression of reservation cast over his features; her lips tightened into a straight line as a sigh tumbled out of his nose and he looked almost apologetic when he spoke. "We just met, and I don't want to insult you, but I want to know why you're here."
"Allison is here because she works for me, and where I go, she goes."
Happy paused, mouth opening in what appeared to be disbelief as he digested Tony's words, making it seem that they were hard for him to hear. "She works… for you?"
"I'm his personal assistant," Allie butted in, voice a rush and words stumbling over one another and the piercing look he shot her made her recoil, almost cringing at her words; whatever was the problem, Allie was certainly not keen to continue lingering around to figure out what. If Happy didn't want her here, she would be more than glad to leave and wait outside; even in all her years of working in customer service, she never did grow the backbone to stand up for herself, not when her pay cheque was on the line. Yet, whatever she lacked, Tony didn't – he had stuck up for her before, had he not?
Tony gave a shrug, shoulders rising and falling in indifference at Happy's doubt, shoving his fists into his pockets and rocking slightly back on the heels of his shoes. "Part time assistant, part time minder and making sure I don't drink bleach by accident again."
Happy seemed incredulous, darting back and forth between Tony and Allie as if mulling over her boss' words, brow furrowing together as he raised a hand, index finger outstretched to point to Tony as he remained unconvinced. "Assistant. You… hired an assistant?"
"Sure did. And she's right here, and I'm pretty sure she has two ears and is listening."
Allie chewed on her bottom lip, an ache beginning to form in her temples at the back and forth game that was being played; sometimes, it really did feel too early to be dealing with this, but she supposed she had no one to blame but herself for signing on for a job like this, being dragged like a confused puppy around the place; maybe a dog would be more welcome here as she felt her skin prickle as Happy eyed her, not even appearing to try and seem conspicuous in his actions as he went from foot to head, gaze narrowed and she shifted on where she stood. It reminded her of how Colonel Rhodes had looked at her, as if she had done something wrong but Allie couldn't fathom what it was exactly that made these men uncomfortable and untrusting of her presence; worry for their friend, perhaps? But worry for what? Braving herself, Allie dug her voice back up and tried to ignore how it seemed a pitch higher, like how it was when she would serve people coffee and try desperately not to piss a customer off lest they throw a fit. "I don't want to intrude or anything, if my being here is going to cause troubles – "
"It will," Happy spoke.
"It won't," Tony cut in, casting a sharp glance to Happy, who didn't seem all too much like his name's sake and Allie's eyes darted back before the two, drawn back between the sharp gaze that lined up with one another and God, the awkwardness was going to make her heart explode.
Shaking her head, Allie cleared her throat, trying to grab the attention of the two men again as she tried to lessen the tension – a tension she didn't understand and certainly didn't wanted to be the cause of; if the problem were her, she was going to take herself from the equation and either the sharp atmosphere would be calmed, or she would be removed from it entirely and not have to worry about it. Her foot took a step back, pointing her thumb over her shoulder as the two men began to have a stare off; she had thought these two were friends, but maybe she had misconstrued how easily they interacted with one another. "Mr. Stark, perhaps its best I wait outside. I don't want to make things – "
Her boss held a hand up, the stare between him and Happy lingering for a moment longer as Allie's voice was silenced, teeth grabbing a hold of her tongue and nearly making her wince, fingers tightening on the strap of her back and wringing it in her palm, surely creasing the supple leather; Tony turned to Allie and she shifted beneath his pointed gaze that was lingering and it made her throat close up; she had never seen him like this, so sharp and blunt in a way that would make her want to curl up and cry but whatever harshness that had found itself in the lines of his face, lingering on the edges of his features then seemed to soften ever so slightly. "You won't make anything anything."
Allie refrained a roll of her eyes, chewing on the inside of her cheek as her hands began knot together, fingers wringing out her anxiety. "Are you sure? Because I'm kind of getting the feeling that I shouldn't be here."
"Why?" he said, hands in his pockets and an eyebrow rising over his glasses, appraising her. "Because Happy is being rude and antagonistic?"
"Mr Stark!" Allie spluttered, horrified at what he had said and Happy gave a sigh, as if he weren't even all that bothered by Tony's words and instead giving him an unamused look. She shouldn't be surprised at his words, he had said ruder things, but she couldn't stifle the heat that rose from the collar of her shirt, embarrassment flooding through her at the fact that he didn't even attempt to speak through a filter, though she doubted such a thing even existed since he seemed to never really think about what he wanted to say; sometimes, she mistook it for confidence.
"I'm not being rude, or antagonistic," Happy refuted with a huff, reaching up to tap the side of his head. "You know I have two ears and can hear."
Tony turned back to happy, a smile curving onto his lips, reaching out to clap the other man on the back of the shoulders briefly all the while showing off his straight white teeth. Happy didn't seem all the dazzled by Tony's grin, a serious expression weighing him down. "You got legs too, mind taking them for a stroll so I can talk with my lovely assistant here?"
Allie felt herself pink at his words, head ducking slightly while trying to ignore the flutter on her heart as Happy chewed on Tony's request, shoe tapping in rhythm with fingers that drummed along his crossed arms, before deciding to speak. "Two minutes. I'm less scared of you than I am of her."
Something soured in Tony's face for a brief moment, as if something bitter had been poured down his throat but it was washed away before Allie could discern what it truly was, the faltering smirk picking itself back up after falling. Once more, Tony gave a pat to the other man's shoulder and turned back towards Allie, who getting whiplash from how these two interacted with one another; she couldn't tell if they were friends or enemies or frenemies of sorts.
Tony's hand ghosted the middle of her back, hovering as if unsure to touch and he turned her to guide her back near the reception area, away from too many lingering eyes; the sheer expanse of the lobby allowed for their steps to echo as he led her towards the grey, velvet seats near the reception area, hidden by a large plants at either side and she couldn't help but look over her shoulder at Happy, taking note of how his eyes were focused in on Tony's hand that was barely touching her back, turning back from her shoulder to look at her boss. "I don't think he likes me."
"He just doesn't know what a ray of sunshine you are," he counters and despite the lightness he tries to cover his words in, there's something else dripping from them, a bitterness she doesn't understand. Whatever lingering looks the two exchanged that Allie was not privy to be let in on, it seemed to eat away at him, making his anxiety appear more on the surface, digging into his skin.
"I don't think I should go with you," she told Tony and he stopped, staggering to a halt and Allie cursed herself for her bluntness. "I mean, I really don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble."
"You won't, if they have a problem, they can deal with it," he told her, his words snapping and she clamped her mouth shut, ignoring how harsh his voice was, bitter and biting that it made her wince from how sharp they were. Tony reeled himself back, as if realising what he had said had been dripping in vexation and he took his glasses off, finally allowing Allie to see his eyes and she noticed that there was a look of aggravation engraved into his features, looking down as he held his glasses in front of him and she dared not speak less he might snap. Then, a tired grown left him and rubbed his hand on his face, shaking his head. "It's not… your fault."
Allie wanted to know whose fault it was then, if not hers; there was something else, something underlining his aggravation and had been the reason for setting him off and Allie couldn't deny the pang she felt at how he couldn't – wouldn't tell her, as if letting it weight him down was a better option than telling her. It's his choice, a small voice echoed in her mind and she knew it was right; her feelings didn't matter at this point, and her probing and wanting to know would be crossing a line. "Then whose is it? You don't need to worry about me feeling offended, I'm a big girl. Besides, staying out here would mean only you would have to suffer whatever awkward tension you guys have going on."
A dry chuckle left him, the sound not matching the displeased look on his face and his shoulders drooped, once more donning the glasses, and hiding away his soft, brown eyes from her again, leaving her only being able to see herself reflected in them. "You're right, of course you are."
Allie gave him a gentle smile, reaching out to put her hand on his arm, trying not to focus on how strong he was underneath his suit and giving him a small squeeze as a sign of comfort before quickly retracking her hand, ignoring the need to flex that very same hand as she wound it back around the strap of her bag. "I'll be right outside if you need anything."
"When you say anything – "
"As long as it doesn't require me to break several laws."
"What about just the one?" He asked her, shooting her a boyish grin with those damned brown eyes and Allie ignored how quick she was to blush now, trying to stomp the feeling down as she refused to become coy under his gaze, attempting to remain unphased by him. She despised how easily it was for him to make her dissolve into a helpless school girl with a crush with how she was acting.
"That's negotiable," "You should go, I think Mr. Hogan might start actually throwing knives at me from the way he's staring."
"'Mr. Hogan'," he repeated, casting her an amused look in his eyes. "You're so professional."
"One of us has to be," she shot back.
"My dear Allison, you're saying that I'm not professional?" he expressed, as if wounded and Allie suppressed a laugh; she liked him like this, light hearted, trading barbs, more like him instead of being so overwrought with worry and anxiety to the point he looked fit to break with how tightly strung up he was because of his emotions; Allie hated to see him like that, to see him bogged down and exhausted and she wanted to help, felt better in knowing that if she even could do so across the professional gap they maintained and would not cross, that she would do all in her power to lessen whatever burden he had forced himself to undertake, an Atlas in his own making.
"If the shoe fits, Mr. Stark. I'll go wait in the car – "
His head moved sharply, a stunned look on his face at her words. "Nonsense, you can sit yourself right here."
"Is it alright for me to?"
"Who cares? It's still my company and it still has my name on it. Just…" His voice was wispy at the ends of his words and his hands found their way onto her shoulders, a jolt sending her heart up into her throat and smothering her voice as he began guiding her backwards until the velvet cushioned seat it the back of her knees; Allie couldn't help but oblige when he gave a gentle shove to make her sit, her body without a pilot as her mind grew blank, unable to do much but stare at Tony, even though she could only catch sight of her own, warped reflection in his glasses but she knew he was meeting her look, lips pursing into a straight line as she was forced to stare up at him as he towered over her from standing; for a moment he lingered, tongue catching on words he didn't know how to say just yet and she felt his grip tighten for a moment. "Just… stay there, right there for me."
"Alright," Allie nodded, voice delicate and she reached up to touch the back of his hand, skin ghosting over the back of his before resting atop, her lips twisting into a gentle smile. "I feel like a kid getting in trouble at school for starting a fight."
His hands were heavy on her shoulders and this close she could smell the cologne he wore, musky and reminding her favourite candle – leather and woodsmoke, definitely the smell of a man and she took a subconscious breath inwards, filling her lungs, veins and every molecule of herself with it, shoulders rising and trying to ignore how dry her mouth felt as she attempted to remain nonchalant and unaffected by how close her was to her; a brief moment of silence, another almost non-existent squeeze before his grasp grew slump, as if reluctant to let go. "Whoever it was, I'm sure he deserved it."
"You'd be right," She grinned, leaning to the side to catch a glimpse of Happy who was making a show of looking at his watch and appearing more annoyed as each second ticked by, directing her eyes back to Tony who looked about as excited to leave for whatever this meeting was as a criminal being led to his cell. Allie gave a shooing motion with her hand, not wanting to be exposed to anymore of Happy's sourness. "Go, I would hate for you to be late to your very important, super personal meeting."
"Oh, yeah, that would be terrible," He snorted, backing away but facing her all the while, not caring that he might end up smacking into someone and Allie couldn't help but wonder if his glasses were some super tech that allowed him full vision like an owl; she thought to ask him later, but was sure he would laugh at the idea passing through her mind, even if it was true or not. Maybe she would ask him just for the sake of giving him something to laugh at. She sat stiff backed in her chair, maintaining eye contact with Tony as he manoeuvred his way slowly through the lobby, as if something was dragging his feet in the opposite direction of where he needed to be. "I definitely wouldn't want that."
Even from where she was sat, Allie could hear Happy's exasperated complaint, teeth grinding, and jaw clenched. "Tony! Come on, I don't have all day."
Allie didn't even need to look at Tony to know he had given her an eye roll, his hand moving to a tie a mock noose around his neck and tugging it, tongue lolling out of his mouth and she barely managed to stifle a titter as she pressed her fingers to her mouth, pads trying to keep her lips closed as Tony threw a hand up in a wave good bye, one she returned but he had already turned his back to her, reaching Happy's side and arm thrown around the other man's shoulders, yanking him close and talking in hushed whispers with him.
Allie watched him until he disappeared entirely around a corner and she slumped into her chair, hand falling to her lap limply as she tried to dispel the ache forming in her temples; she could barely wrap her head around what had happened, at how coldly she had been received and it left her befuddled as she went through it all once more. She didn't understand what it was that she did wrong, or if she had done anything at all, and tried to blame it on just being a stranger that Happy had never seen before, untrusting of the fact she was supposedly Tony's first assistant since –
God, she hadn't even thought about that, about them, her.
She had completely forgotten about Pepper Potts, about how she and Tony were together for god knows how many years; they were the 'it' couple for those trashy gossip magazines when Allie was in college, and they were talked about more than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison. How could she have been so ridiculous, having a crush on not only her boss, but a man who was with another woman? Allie had never felt so embarrassed of herself than at that moment, internally laughing at herself for getting so worked up over her own feelings when she had forgotten that they didn't even matter, that whatever she felt didn't matter because not only was she his employee and nearly half his age, but he was also very happy and very in love with a very beautiful woman who had also been his long-time girlfriend.
Allie was amused by her own silly thinking, leaning back in the chair and slumping into it, head reasting against the curve of the back of the chair, eyes peering up into the ceiling; God, she felt stupid, getting so worked up over nothing because regardless of what she felt, she was going to be gone by her year's deadline in the summer, and she would never have to be around him ever again and she imagined by then, him and Pepper would even be together again and there were wedding bells ringing in her ears. Whatever, Allie scoffed, a sharp exhale leaving her as she continued to stare up, brow furrowing the longer she mulled over her thoughts; it was just a silly, useless crush and she would be over it and she would be laughing at herself in a few weeks' time and she was desperately trying to ignore the way her chest constricted.
Why was she working herself up over nothing? Allie pulled herself up into a proper sitting position, hands balled into fits in her lap, jaw clenched as a creased formed between her eyebrows; whatever she had been fretting over, it was only in her mind and she would only end up forcing an awkwardness over them if she continued the way she acted, getting all flustered whenever he got too close or when he paid a passing compliment to her. Her fingers took to unconsciously pick at her nails, leg beginning to bounce as her mind went around and around, tangling itself up and leaving her no room for thought through the haze.
She needed to do what she had intentionally thought to do: to grind her feelings down into the ground, to push through the remaining months she had left and then move on and forget it all; she only wanted to do her job as his assistant and be his friend if need be, no use in making the situation even worse to bare by retreating into herself entirely and ignoring him when they were around each other at close proximity at all hours of the day; at the rate she was going, she was turning molehills into mountains and would only work herself up over non-existent problems.
Allie knew she could deal with these feelings, could bury them behind her ribs and let them wilt away into nothing; she checked her phone, watching as the time ticked by another minute and she groaned at the idea of having to sit here for God knows how long; though she much would rather be stuck here than in a room with Tony and whoever else was with him and be subject to the same sharp glares Happy had directed her way.
She supposed she understood the scrutiny; they didn't trust her enough and she was barely qualified to do her job in the first, that is to say she wasn't qualified to begin with. She had gone from taking coffee orders to organising the life of one of the most important people on the continent, if not the world, Allie knew she would be sceptical about herself too if she were any other person; she took to swiping through her phone to distract herself from her thoughts, but it was of no use, because as much as she didn't want to, she couldn't help but think of Tony, feeling a victim to her own mind. Allie half feared he might have picked up on her behaviour already and was just ignoring it out of politeness, and the thought alone made Allie want to shrivel up and die; but if that were the case, she knew he would tease her relentlessly over it, so perhaps she was safe for the moment. She wouldn't be able to live with the embarrassment if he had figured out that she had a crush on him, at how he would practically torment her over it to the point she would just pass out from mortification.
Her eyes refocused once more and she spotted Tony come around the corner, ignoring her traitor heart fluttering in her chest and her back straightening up instantaneously at his appearance, all previous thoughts fading away into nothing at the sight of him; her promise, however, of quelling those feelings and to not let them bubble to the surface remained at the forefront of her mind and Allie was good enough at lying to know she would not give herself away. As Tony drew closer, she realised he was zoned in on where she sat and she gave a small wave at him, a smile curving onto her lips without her permission and he returned the favour, a sigh building up in her chest that she quickly waved away.
"That was quick!" Allie spoke as he was close enough to hear her, making Allie all but winced at how forced her voice sounded, forcing herself to her feet and her back aching from how she had been sitting.
He sauntered closer, glasses still covering his eyes and not even caring at how ridiculous he might look for wearing them inside, then again Tony rarely seemed to care about what others thought and it was a trait Allie so desperately coveted. "Really?"
"No, my ass is dying."
He went to open his mouth but then seemed to think on his response, mouth slowly closing again as if deciding against his original thought. "I would look to see, but I'm afraid you'd hit me."
"And you're right to be afraid," Allie confirmed, eyeing him, and how worn down from fatigue her was, how his hair wasn't as smartly kept as it had been before he had left her and that his tie seemed askew around his neck, as if he had been pulling at it loosely unconsciously; despite being inside, he still wore his sunglasses, and she could see her own frown twitching at her mouth in the dark tinted reflection. Tony looked as if he could sleep for three days straight – could but knew he wouldn't. He would sooner work to death to gain peace than to lay down his head. "How was it?"
Tony gave a sigh and his hand went to his tie, tugging it and making it even looser around his neck, and then undid the top button of his shirt, more of his dark skin being bared for the eye to linger on and Allie turned her eyes aside, looking down at her shoes and almost jumped when a movement caught her, gaze moving up to see him gesturing her with his arm in front of her, indicating for her to walk ahead; she watched him fiddled with his watch, winding it up and fixing the time as a gust of air bled past his lips, reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose under his glasses and she could see him squeeze his eyes shut as if trying to dispel what lingering weariness that was wearing him down. "Boring. Long. Excruciating. Did I say boring?"
"Did you fall asleep?" she asked, the heels of her shoes clicking against the ground sharply;
"No. Nearly," he groaned, reaching a hand up to massage the back of his neck in order to ease whatever knots and creaks that had nestled into the muscles there after sitting upright for so long, head leaning towards her as he gave her that boyish smirk, he had perfected that sent her lungs aching for air. "But seeing you has freshened me up."
"I know," Allie sniffed, unwinding a hand to brush a curtain of hair over her shoulder in a dramatic way, casting him a sharp smile, trying to appear as coy as she could with a bat of her lashes; he gave a scoff, looking away instantly most likely in mortification at her actions. "I have that effect on people."
"Do you also know about being humble?" he mocked.
"Why would I need to be humble about being perfect?"
"Hey, hey, hey, only one of us is allowed to have a massive ego and that person is me," Tony declared, patting his chest while giving her a faux, disgruntled look as Allie raised an eyebrow, every ounce of her strength directed at not giving him a soft punch to the shoulder; to her delight, he seemed… lighter, happier almost, as if the weight of what had been dragging his mood down was suddenly cast free from his shoulders and he was more like him, like Tony and not all business like Mr. Stark with a gloomy expression being worn. Perhaps he was finally feeling more at ease with having his meeting over and done with, ticked off and no longer needing to be worried about.
"Then what am I?"
"You," he began, before breaking from her side as they walked to move ahead, reaching the door before her, and taking hold of the handle, pulling it open for her and the gesture, so simple and unimportant, made her nearly fall over her feet; she had never had a man open a door for her, sometimes had even seen them quickly press the close doors button on the elevator while pretending they couldn't do anything to stop it as it shut in her face. Recovering, Allie's feet continued on, the mundane, chivalrous not unlike him but so out of the blue that she was sure she would think about it for the rest of the week. As she met him where he stood, holding it open for her, he spoke again. "Are my darling sidekick."
"I'll give you a kick, all right." Allie's laughter was soft, a gentle sound as she made a go to spook Tony into thinking she would try to ram her foot into the back of his leg while he was facing away from her to hold open the door for her, and he turned having caught her sudden movement from the corner of his eye, attempting to catch her before she tried before realising it was a dupe and Allie breezed pass him suppressing chuckle as she rushed back to the car, hoping to slip by quickly enough to prevent him managing to retaliate.
"Oh, you're so funny, you're positively comedic," Tony called after her in a droll, empty tone, quickening to catch up with her with little effort, hands in his pockets and giving a snort. They strolled side by side, at times his arm brushing against her shoulder as she stood with her hands laced in front of her, fingers knotted around one another, attempting to match his long strides step for step. She didn't think she was so unathletic and unfit, but she was walking in shoes that did have a heel in them and the pace she was moving at may have caused her to be a bit winded, trying to stifle her quick breaths that barely soothed the ache in her lungs before it rushed out.
"Are you going fast on purpose?" she asked, glaring at his legs as her own began to ache, no doubt looking ridiculous for what she was doing in trying to match pace with him and Tony looked down, corner of his lip quirking at the site of her trying to mimic his strides, eyes moving to hers and he peered at her over the rims of his sunglasses, curving in amusement and Allie supposed it was much better to be the subject of his entertainment than to have him melancholy and glum as he had been.
"It's not my fault you're a short ass," he teased and then purposely picked up the pace, instantly moving ahead of her and Allie gave a shout of displeasure, hand reaching out to grab a hold of his, no doubt very expensive, suit between her thumb and index, using him to move herself forward in a jog and yanking him back in order to slow him down.
"I may be short, but you're the ass," she huffed as she caught up, giving her grip on him another tug as she shot him a glare from the side of her eyes, holding on to him tightly as he reduced his speed. His other hand went to hers, skin warm and burning as he covered hers entirely, refusing to have her let go of his sleeve, not that Allie was all prepared to untangled herself from him and she let him keep her hand there, let herself think that she couldn't let go back of him. She would allow herself this, just once.
He turned and threw her a grin, all raised cheekbones and smile lines. "Yes, and you love it."
Elsewhere, a pair of red heels stood rooted to the ground staring at the odd pair through the stainless glass, rosy lips parted almost in shock at seeing Tony, who had barely done so for her even in the months before they broke up, give his blinding, carefree smile that had once only been directed at her before.
Like a bystander to a train wreck, Pepper couldn't look away even as everything was burning around her.
Hello, hello! Before I get into my A/N, I would like to answer a few of your reviews!
courtneyib98: first off, thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad that you enjoy not only the story, but Allie as well! Truth be told, Allie and I barely share any similarities – I like making characters that are different to me, in good and bad ways. Our only real similarity is that we suffer from being under 5'2" (I actually made her slightly taller than I am lol talk about projecting). Once more, thank you so much for your lovely review!
readeratheart8128: you don't know how much it means to this author to hear how much this story means to you! Truly, it still amazes me so many people have literally read my story? And liked it? And wait for me to update? Like? Seriously it makes me just get all smiley and giggly thinking about it!
Ashes2Dust18: ahhhh I might have made your day with an update, but you made my day with your review! Thank you so much!
Odie.18: thank you so much! And don't worry, I got all my work done (at last minute but I still managed to get all A's and B+'s!). I don't think I could abandon this story completely, it might take a while, but I would like to at least end it one a note that is satisfactory for everyone.
Wynter Phoenix: thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed!
klaus04: thanks so much! it could take some time, but I hope to keep continuing this story. I love writing, and it's one of my few pleasures in life. Stay safe!
Guest: and thank you for leaving a review! I love hearing how much you guys enjoy my story! :)
shethoughts: and it's good to be back! I seriously can't believe the amount of love you guys give me, it's more than I deserve!
Ellixwolf: first off, thank you so much for your lovely and amazing review! I hope you guys know I literally love hearing your every single thought, you could post me a 10 page essay on a single scene and I would literally consume it entirely because I LOVE rambling about my characters. You have left me speechless with your review, to hear how much you enjoy this story that I started on a whim with no idea on how to proceed. I think Lisa is someone I align with more in that she hates confrontation and would let it eat her alive on the inside and then explode one day, making things 10000x worse than having a calm talk with her friend. Lisa cares about her friend and I know if I were in her shoes, I would be worried about my friend being super close with not only an older man, but a rich guy who has this massive power imbalance. Relationships with power imbalance either deteriorate or they need to find equal standing, and Lisa sees Allie as a sister that she needs to protect but she goes about in the entirely wrong way and is beating herself up over hurting her friend and not trusting that her friend wouldn't let a man to walk all over her. For me, these characters aren't extensions of me, they're different people with different traits and motivations and lives and I try to think how these differences can result in clashes – Lisa and Allie are best friends, but whereas Lisa worries too much about situations, Allie is in denial about them. Lisa would rather have things out in the open while Allie would rather tucking them deep, deep down into her for her to ignore in a way that's different to Lisa. Lisa knows there's an elephant in the room and she's trying to skirt around it, Allie pretends it doesn't even exist, if you know what I mean. I'm rambling so much dhaskjdalksjdlka fr I'm shutting up now, thank you so much!
amgs: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that I was able to brighten your day ever so slightly by sharing this chapter with you all!
RonJaaa: Ahh, thank you! Also I totally get you! I've been so bored during lockdown, and since I'm back into lockdown until May, I've really been spending so much time reading more fics. And I know this is a pot talking to the kettle since I stopped my uni work to write the last chapter, but my fic should never come before someone's work! Once again, thank you so much and I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter!
KyloRen'sgirl213: thank you so much! I'm happy that you enjoyed my chapter!
lostariel0716: I love some Allie angst, so here I am, providing more Allie angst that I hope you enjoy! Poor girl, doesn't know how to deal with all these feels.
thenerdnextdoor: thank you so much for your review! And tony, tony, tony – what will we do with you? The man has a lot of emotions and a lot of working through those emotions, and sometimes he can get constipated over them and not know how to convey them. I love writing in his pov, but try not to do it too often since this is an oc centric fic, but hopefully in the near future we'll have a little look into his thoughts!
Blueowl: thank you so much! I try to portray characters as I see them, but don't want my own emotions towards them to influence my characterisation of how I write them! I'm glad u enjoyed the chapter :)!
weheartnoelle: first off, thank you so much for your review! I want to say, to hear that people like Allie as a character really means a lot to me. I really want to portray as a real person who has their flaws and she's definitely not perfect – she's stubborn, she's very self-conscious, she uses humour as a defence mechanism and she's not instantly liked by everyone – as seen in this chapter, but I'm sure the readers can figure out why Happy is very apprehensive of this new, young woman hanging around his friend. Romance is the end game, but it's never as easy as we think – they have their own problems, and they have to jump over these problems to meet each other at the finish line, and they'll get there at their own pace. Tony is a very special character to my heart and I admit that I dislike the shallow, surface level playboy image that is thrusted upon him, as well as the inconsistent characterisation he has within the movies; he has his demons, Allie too, but they can work together to defeat them. Once more, thank you so much for your review and im glad you enjoy my story so far!
Laurafxox: ajkdjalkdas thank you so much! This is the first time I've undertaken a story and a relationship like this! I love slow burns and I think it projects my own ideas about my ideal relationship – to know each other entirely first before committing. Allie and Tony have and will see each other at their best, their worst, and everything in between and it'll just make them all the more stronger for it!
Guest: ahhh thank you! I really love writing Tony but try not to all too much since I'm worried that my own characterisation of him might not align with others, but I'm so glad to see that a lot, if not all, people enjoy the tony chapters! I intentionally started this story with the idea in mind being that it would be told entirely though Allie's POV, but realised that it would be useless to do so when there's two people in a relationship and wouldn't make sense to only see into the feelings and thoughts of one of them.
DarmioneForever: thank you so so so much! I love writing the funny, light hearted scenes as much as the tension filled ones; I like to make the two of them as comfortable as possible with one another, to have them be able to joke and talk to one another easily, and then to have that turn around and give them such cutting tension that they don't even know what to say to one another. Poor Allie is trying to grind her feelings into the dirt and misconstruing everything that tony could literally be like "im in love w u" and she would b like "im in love w me too tf lmao". Sometimes the two of them make ME wanna bang my head against the desk aidjsalkjdalkda
I hate that FF doesn't allow us to individually reply to every comment so I would be posting these long ass A/N's fnajflkajdfklsadjfl but I love talking w you guys and not just ignoring your kind words that you take time out of your day to write. I meant to say this in the last chapter, but someone left a review saying they say Allie as being on the ace spectrum, and honestly I'm so glad that was picked up on! Allie is definitely on the ace spectrum, I see her as being more demisexual; I myself am on the ace spectrum so I am so glad that I'm managing to write all the tension scenes right bc irl I literally just have no clue or understand it lol.
I just want to note that if you do not enjoy this story, or if you do not enjoy my style of writing, please do not leave a mean review, especially when it isn't even constructive criticism. FF doesn't allow us to delete reviews, so those reviews are going to have stay on my story forever. Being rude or mean towards me about how I write MY story won't change how I write it. I will not interact with people who leave rude comments on my story. Just exit out of the tab and move on with your day, you do not need to leave a review like that :)
Once more, thank you all for your lovely comments and kind words, they really mean the world to me! Are you guys watching TFATWS? I really enjoyed WandaVision, I think it really turned my view of Wanda around! Plus, Elizabeth Olsen is so beautiful and I'm so in love with her!
Also, song that was on repeat for this chapter was I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry; it's enough to make a grown person cry.
Thanks for reading!
