I do not own any characters or places unless stated otherwise.

Don't forget to leave a favourite, follow and review!


Chapter Eighteen.

It's snowing outside and the entire city of New York appeared picturesque with the white capped buildings and the flurry of dainty snowflakes clinging to the cold, foggy glass that makes the entire world outside blurry with fuzzy lights from billboards and headlights. Inside the apartment, Allie was wrapped up in a throw blanket, mind watching the television blankly as she is zoning out of the third Christmas movie that she has watched in a row that day alone.

Last New Year's Eve, she and Lisa had snuck into a private party that belonged to one of Lisa's past flings, got drunk off of the bitter champagne before being chased out as they laughed, Lisa's daring streak showing itself when she slipped off her high heels to run barefoot down the streets of New York as Allie tripped over a trashcan before the two slipped into a small, overflowing pub that was far too hot for its own good.

At 24, Allie felt as if she was invincible and now a year later, she sat on the couch, not wanting to even entertain the thought of leaving the safety of her cocoon.

As enticing alcohol sounded, she wasn't all too keen about the idea of nursing a monstrous hangover the following morning.

So, there she sat, swaddled in the blankets she had stolen from the top of her bed and her mismatched socks, trying to at least convince herself she was invested in the movie (every year she pretended to be shocked when Emma Thompson opened the CD) but couldn't focus her eyes on the screen, feeling herself drift off against her will. The heating was barely working and she and Lisa had been walking around the apartment like old, wizened wizards, making cups of hot drinks to keep their hands warm before they went cold, but she still enjoyed her few days off from work, to spend time with her friend even if the snot under her nose was frozen.

But Tony hadn't texted her since she started her holidays.

Of course Allie knew he was a busy man who probably didn't want to be texting his holiday since he spent enough time trapped with her as it was, but Allie had still spent the entire day debating if she should send him a message, a meme, anything as a way to celebrate the new year. Each time she opened the message box, typing out a few words, an incomplete sentence that felt unnatural with how many emojis she tacked onto the end and ended up deleting it.

It wouldn't be weird to text her boss, right? Like, they definitely had weirder conversations so telling him 'Happy New Years, Mr. Stark!' wouldn't be the worst thing in the world?

Yet that nervousness still ate away at Allie, eating away and leaving her stomach a bare pit that she dumped her never ending worries and thoughts into. She was technically on holidays until the following week and she didn't need to text him on his time off, to ask if he was sleeping or eating properly (no, Mr. Stark, day old Chinese doesn't count as nutrition). He didn't need a babysitter, someone to worry about him but it was nestled in the curves of her ribs, cradled close to her heart no matter how much Allie wish it weren't so.

She wondered if he was having dinner with a friend, or any of the Avengers, if he was going to bother going to any of the parties he was endlessly invited to, if he was like her now, sitting on the couch and watching Alan Rickman betray his wife for the millionth time in a row. Her phone screen remained blank, lacking the attention she wished it had and turned her eyes away from it once more, hoping that if she pretended not to care then maybe -

Allie slumped onto the couch on her side, tugging the blankets over her head and trying not to let out a muffled scream lest she startle Lisa and cause her to mess up her immaculate eyeliner she was already frustrated with.

Allie hated it, this, herself; it was as if all her thoughts were bunched up in her skull, crowded and overflowing and each one seemed to consist of a certain someone, spilling from her mind and down her throat for her heart to sip at and glow. Lisa had mentioned it too, the glow – red cheeks, sometimes smiling at her phone, the way she had burst out laughing at a magazine cover with Tony splashed on the front of it when they were walking to get coffee and bought it as a joke (it had been two days since her holidays had started and she realised the only pictures she had of him were on Google and grainy, trashy mads).

She stopped watching rom-coms too, afraid it might make her mind wander and drag Allie along with it, but she had been too lazy to change the channel and now she was stuck watching that stupid, sappy movie and thinking about Tony Stark, again.

Even though Allie was frustrated at how much of her mind was occupied by him, she couldn't be annoyed because it was him, after all.

Crushes were annoying little things that delighted in making people feel like complete and utter fools and Allie wondered if she could send in her application to clown college with how much of one she had been feeling like lately; but, it made the holidays seem brighter, warmer as she realised that as soon as they ended, she would see him again. Christmas had never been a bad time for her, all these years she had been spending them with Lisa and with her friend now having a boyfriend, Allie still had her own thoughts of someone else to keep her company.

Lisa might have teased her a lot more if it weren't for the fact she had finally let the excitement of Allie finally having a crush sink into her. Maybe it was the disgusting eggnog they gagged over, or deciding to share a bed to keep warm or putting up their decades old tinsel they found lying around, but things didn't feel as awkward. Allie hoped it would last, that they could be normal, what they were again. The credits rolled and Allie tucked the blankets in tighter around her, hoping to do the same to her thoughts.

The clip-clop of heels sounded throughout the apartment and Allie sat up to see Lisa strut out of her room, a long, silk, black dress draped over her figure as she fiddled with an earring, a scrunched up look on her face as her red lips pulled down into a frown, a huff leaving her as she began waddling weirdly.

"I think my thong has gone up my ass," Lisa groaned, going to pull at her underwear in a very unladylike fashion that would have sent her mother in a fainting session. Allie let out a breathy laugh, taking in how beautiful her friend was and wishing she could scrub up just as well as Lisa could, but she still couldn't figure out how to do contour without making it look like mud on her face.

Allie rested her arms on the back of the couch, chin on her hands as she did a one over. "I mean, at least you don't have a knicker line."

Lisa did a quick spin while trying to see if Allie was right and gave a satisfied nod, dropping her purse on the table as she finished with the earring she was struggling with, her hair pulled over one shoulder.

"Should have just gone commando," Lisa sighed, the crack of her heels echoing on the wooden floors as she moved closer to Allie, tall enough that she could rest herself on the spine of the couch, looking at the TV. "Muppets Christmas Carol, huh?"

Allie turned back to see that Lisa was right, the movie was opening and she gave a shrug. "I think if I had to sit down and watch It's a Wonderful Life, the suicide hotline is going to have to block my number."

A soft ring of laughter left Lisa at Allie's words, eyes curving as she turned to her, the emerald green of her irises framed by a bronze shadow and she was gazing at Allie like that again; a worrying guise about her, a concerned one as she chewed on her thoughts, probably remembering how their last New Year's went and how this one seemed such a downgrade, all from Allie's mismatched socks and her messy braid. There was a slight tug on the corners of her lips as she fiddled with the gold chain on her wrist, as if trying to sort out what to say properly. "You should come with me."

A hum left Allie as she turned back to sit properly on the cushions once more, knowing that the invitation was a useless one; even if she wanted to, Allie would be a dead weight to this business party the pair were heading too and she would stick out like a sore thumb, unsure of how to talk to these people who would pull a face at how awkward Allie was. Lisa was always the social butterfly and Allie was only brought along for the ride. And the booze, too.

It was an olive branch, but Allie didn't bother to reach out and grasp it. She couldn't always be relying on Lisa, couldn't always be bothering her and clinging to her skirts like a helpless child. They were in their twenties now, Allie social skills (or lack thereof) were long past the stage of improving. But, still, it was kind. Lisa always had been to understand Allie for as long as she could, that was all Allie could ask for. Instead, Allie grabbed the remote and flicked over the channel. "With you and Stewart, you mean?"

A scoff left Lisa as she reached over and smacked Allie's arm with her perfectly manicured nails. "We can still have a girls' night out with a guy!"

Allie groaned, slinking into the couch like a petulant child, pouting and putting on a whiny voice. "I have to go for a shower, and do my makeup, and I have nothing to wear and I didn't even do my tan or shave or – "

Lisa shook her head and moved around the couch to take the spot beside Allie, taking on the same position Allie had, one that appeared funny considering how done up she looked. Despite Allie's surface level protests, Lisa's expression had a lingering hint of seriousness as she stared at her roommate, perfectly done brows drawn together, voice soft. "You don't have to. I'm not going to be upset if you don't. I don't want you to be alone on your big day and with it being New Year's Eve and all."

Allie stared at Lisa, knowing that her friend meant the best even if the party invitation wasn't the best. But Allie had spent a lot of her life alone, by herself with only herself to count on. She could handle one day, one night, just the same as she had before.

That age old sadness, an aching loneliness that turned over in her heart slipped up into her throat for a moment, a lump as she recalled all those Christmases and birthdays and holidays she had spent alone and Allie pushed the memories to the back of her mind, not wanting to get dragged back down with them, to let the maggots that infested her own past to eat the person she was now.

Allie never tried to be too greedy, to bite off more than she should have and instead she rested a hand on her friend's arm, a small smile on her face. "You don't need to worry about me, Leese. It's not the end of the world."

But Lisa seemed ready to protest but knew that Allie would not budge, as stubborn as the door to her own bedroom could be at times and she deflated, accepting defeat and turned back to watch the TV, not really paying attention. Allie wondered if she hurt her friend's feelings for turning her down, for denying her olive branch and scrambled for words. "Besides, after last year I think parking my ass on this spot is probably the better idea."

A spout of laughter left Lisa, as the hazy, fuzzy memories of the year before sprung to mind. Allie couldn't really recall what happened that night in chronological order, no matter how long they had spent the next morning trying to piece everything together while Allie sat under the hot water of the shower and Lisa hunched over the toilet bowel, the previous night's make up still on her face. "I still have that guy's shoe you stole."

Allie could briefly recall convincing a man into giving her his shoe because she insisted she had one exactly the same at home and her face was inflamed with embarrassment, cheeks bursting with red as Lisa recalled the memory all too fondly. Allie had sworn that night she would never get as drunk as she had for fear of making the same mortifying mistake and becoming a shoe thief across New York. "I'm happy you treasure my gift."

The last threads of Lisa's giggle carried on as she stared at Allie, appearing as if she might try to make another last ditch effort to try and wrangle Allie to leave the house that night but one look at Allie's face showed her it was no use. Instead, she gave a sigh, showing that she was ready to leave as her spine straightened but hesitation nipped at her heels, keeping her planted firmly beside Allie. "Alright. Please call me or text me or anything if you change your mind or you want to meet up or want me to come home or – "

Allie shook her head, the lose curls of her braid tickling her neck at the action, wispy ends escaping around her face as her refusal remained firm, unwinding a hand from the safety of her blanket cocoon to wave her friend on, hearing no more of her worrying nonsense. "I won't! Go on, enjoy your night. I'm sure your date is waiting for you."

The reminder of her boyfriend waiting for her made Lisa perk up as she pursed her lips at Allie, torn between ditching the man altogether or listening to her friend's insistence at her to go and enjoy her evening before she relented. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving."

Despite that, Lisa remained where she was and Allie was wondering if she was going to have to push her friend out the door. "Have a good night."

She tried paying attention to what was happening on the screen but couldn't find it within her heart to even pretend.

"Allie." Lisa was paused, on the brink of saying something but not sure how to say it right, or if she should say it at all.

"Yeah?"

Her friend hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Allie's eyebrows drew together, knitted in confusion over her friend's concern. Allie had spent many New Year's Eve's by herself long before meeting Lisa, she wasn't about to start feeling lonely now. But Lisa was staring at her as if she was expecting Allie to tell her… well, Allie didn't know what Lisa wanted her to say. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Lisa's lips pressed together, waiting for more to be said but the silence stretched on into a second longer than it needed to be. "Okay. Just, text me if you need anything."

"If you don't get your ass out that door right this minute – "

Lisa let out a squawk, trying to push Allie's hands away from her and shuffling away as fast as she could in her heels. "Don't! This dress still has the tags on it!"

"Go!"

Lisa finally relented, grabbing her things and only returning to press her painted lips to Allie's cheek, an action which earned a push from the latter before she tried wiping the lipstick away. Lisa grabbed her keys, the metal dangling from her fingers as she gave a wave over her shoulder to her friend before disappearing out the door. "Bye!"

The door closed and the apartment was quiet save for the sound of the T.V filling the empty space, Allie's eyes lingering on the entrance for a while, but no one else came in or out. It was her all by herself again, the T.V droning noise in the background that was blocked out and a mumbled mess. Allie scooped her phone up, ignoring the bitter taste in her mouth at there being no notifications and stared as the time moved from 18:16 to 18:17, another six hours left until the new year to be rung in.

Same shit, different year.

It wasn't going to be the worst New Year's Eve she had ever had, but it certainly didn't feel like it was going to be the best. There was always next year, and the year after, and so on and so forth; so what if she spent her time at home watching old holiday movies in bed?

A groan left Allie as she stood, stretching her aching muscles and bones as she turned the television off, bathed in partial darkness as she shuffled her way to bed, hoping that she would be long asleep before midnight hit. She didn't know if Lisa was going to come home or if she was going to stay out all night, but either way, Allie was alone for now and she couldn't bear the silence.

She was pretty sure there was a half opened bottle of cheap, red wine somewhere in the apartment and for her, that was as good as any party.

God, when had she got so old?

She wondered if Tony's evening was going the same as hers but Allie pushed the thought of her mind; knowing him, he was probably on some rooftop party drinking fancy champagne that cost more than three months' worth of rent and not batting an eye at the price tag. How is it nearly every thought she had led back to him? She ought to start a money jar where she would have to put in a fiver every time his name rang through her mind; by the end of it, she would probably be as rich as him in no time.

Her bed welcomed her as she crawled into it, grabbing her laptop and opening it up, glad that at least she had Netflix to keep her company as she rang in the lonely new year by herself. But as she pressed the on button, the laptop spluttered to life before inevitably dying.

Allie's hand slapped to her forehead as a groan left her. "Great, just my fucking luck."

She remembered; she had brought her laptop to work one day in hopes of siphoning some of the Wi-Fi Tony had over there to download a movie and she had left her charger behind her and now she was without. Allie sat in the bed, curled beneath her blankets and glaring at the dead screen, her own reflection mocking her. She had been telling herself right up until her last day that she needed to bring it home but then it was completely forgotten and now she was left with no laptop, no distractions and by herself.

Allie slammed her laptop shut and pushed it off her as if in disgust and sat in the hazy glow of street lights that filled her room, arms over her chest and glowering at the wall like a petulant child. It could be as simple that she drag herself out onto the couch and go back to watching T.V again but she didn't want to – like a spoiled child, she didn't want to sit on the couch, she wanted to watch what she wanted on her laptop and it was bad enough that she was by herself at home on New Year's Eve. Maybe she should have gone with Lisa after all.

A huff left Allie as she debated her choices; she could go to the corner store and buy some drink, maybe put herself to sleep with some cheap wine, or scroll endlessly on her phone for hours until midnight hit. Each scenario became sadder than the last and Allie might have laughed at herself had she not felt so pathetic.

She could possibly go get her charger – she was determined to, to have something go right for once in her life. It felt like the universe and the wider cosmos was taking a piss in her cereal and Allie was not about to let it win. Sit at home on the couch mind dead? Ridiculous. Take a cab to the Compound to grab a charger for her computer instead of doing the sensible thing? That seemed reasonable in her mind.

Besides, Tony was most likely gone to any of any of the many parties he had been invited to and no one would see her, especially not in this getup. Allie swung the blankets off her legs, the cold air relentless as she grabbed her things, her phone, her key card and her wallet, stuffing them into the front pocket of her jumper as she bustled out of the place, locking it behind her. Screw the universe and its agenda to mess up her sad plans for the evening. The only person allowed to mess up her life was her.

Getting a cab in New York on New Year's Eve seemed to be the most impossible hurdle as she stood waving one down until she caught a driver's attention, shoving herself in the back and giving him the address. Brief surprise flickered on his face before he nodded and Allie settled in, glad to be out of that small apartment even if it meant bundling herself into the back of a less than sanitary car.

The snow congested the traffic as much as the vehicles did, brown and mucky on the footpaths and Allie still remembered her first Christmas in the city, how she stared at everything with such wonder and awe, but no more. She didn't have that old naivety anymore.

Unlike her, everyone who worked at the Compound had gone home for the holidays and she felt like a ghost haunting the bare bones of a ruin, wincing at each footstep that called back to her and Allie knew ghosts didn't exist, not like how aliens and gods from myths did, but she still found herself looking over her shoulder just to be sure that a ghoul wasn't going to jump out of the shadows and grab her. In and out, it would take a two minute job, but her taxi driver griped and groaned he couldn't possibly wait for her so Allie had told him that he could leave if he wanted and wasn't sure she was surprised when he did. She had forgotten he probably had a family he wanted to get back to, unlike her.

It was pitch black when she got out of the elevator, fumbling for her phone to turn on the flash, casting a glance up to the ceiling to see if F.R.I.D.A.Y would greet her but the AI seemed inactive. Allie hoped that an AI didn't have plans for the evening just as she didn't, that would be a new level of sad.

Could AI's even have a social life? Allie would have to ask when she got back to work.

Her hands were rooting around in her drawers, moving blindly as the flash of her phone did little to make sense of the mess she had shoved into them before her fingers found something, clasping around it and she pulled it out and smiled – her charger was a mess of wires and knots but she had got it, turning the flash off of her phone and stuffing it into her pocket. Bingo.

"Beat that, universe," she said to no one in particular.

At least, that's what she thought.

"Well, well, look who it is."

The voice nearly made Allie jump out of her shoes, hand jumping to where her heart was and an indescribable left her mouth, choked in her throat and strangled as the light turned on, blinding Allie ever so briefly as she spun, ignoring the way the quick pace in her chest stopped entirely for a moment as she turned on the spot, dropping the charger to her laptop and nearly letting it fall on her foot as she spotted Tony standing in the doorway; he leaned against it, as if he had been there for some time watching Allie fumble around in the dark and she could see his eyes brighten at her startled reaction, how the air in her lungs left in a wheeze and her body became limp, slumping against the corner of her desk as she tried dragging in a breath to still the sudden burst rushing through her.

"Jesus!" she croaked, shocked by his sudden entrance and the fact it was him; in every case of this scenario, she had never expected him to actually be here. Unlike her, he had a life outside of work and, oh God, she was still wearing those Godawful grey sweat pants and this ridiculous jumper that definitely belonged to one of Lisa's old boyfriends.

He didn't seem so much as a mess as she initially thought he would be; in fact, he looked… healthy, well rested. Dressed down in jeans and a shirt, a slight curl in his hair from how long it had been since he had got it cut and the usual smears of purple beneath his eyes had lessened, burdened dissipating and Allie was all too aware of how dreadful she appeared in comparison, the messy hair and no make up on her face that might have otherwise covered her fading acne scars and freckles.

It hadn't even been long since she had last seen him but…

But her heart swelled at the sight, at how nonchalant he seemed, amusement practically dripping from his handsome face and her face burned in both embarrassment at being caught and at the thoughts running rampant in her head.

He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, sauntering in as if he owned the place. Well, technically he did, but he didn't need to show off. "Nope, guess again."

Her voice was threadbare as she glowered at him, at being humoured by her and she stooped, picking up the wire she had come for. "You frightened me!"

Tony gave her a look, an eyebrow raising and she hated he could do that so perfectly. "I live here."

"Haunting the place like a Victorian ghost child," Allie mumbled, eyes narrowed at him as her heart attempted to slow down at its natural pace but refused, for reasons entirely different to the fright he had inflicted on her. Her jumper was becoming too warm, an ember behind her ribs that left her entire body feel consumed to the flame.

Tony gave a scoff at her words. "I'm not the one skulking around in the dark."

Allie took offence to that; she most certainly was not skulking around in the dark! She was very much a never-skulked-in-her-life person. She frowned at him, turning around and grumbling under her breath at him as she shoved the laptop charger into her satchel, tossing him a glare over her shoulder. Even without her glasses, even with her surroundings being slightly fuzzy at the edges, she could see him perfectly, all too aware that he was taking a turn around the room, as if he was avoiding her immediate vicinity. "I'm not skulking – I'm perusing."

He waved his hand, brushing her words aside as he settled to leaning against the wall some bit away from her and she strained her eyes to take him in, the dim light of the room watery and showering them in a cold, golden puddle that left shadows cast on Tony's face, and he was studying her, the way he would stare at a piece of machinery and Allie could see the gears in his head turning, drowning in thoughts she wished she had the privy to see into. She wondered what might be going through his mind, finding his assistant in the dark rummaging about while looking as if she rolled out of bed, definitely not workplace attire.

But they weren't at work, not technically. For all intents and purposes, she was on holiday, and he wasn't her boss at this moment. The thought alone made a jolt go through her, a breath cutting through her chest, slicing through her mind and leaving it scattered as the words she might have said to him.

It hadn't even been that long, but Allie couldn't believe she had missed Tony as much as she did, she felt pathetic being so helpless to the whim of her own feelings and fancy, hands shoved into the front pocket of her jumper as she tried not to think about how her socks were mismatched. Could Tony see how nervous she was? He was probably blaming it on her being caught red-handed; Allie desperately hoped that that was the case. "Dictionary differences aside, why are you here and not out celebrating the New Year?"

An airy laugh left her as a hand reached up to brush away a stray piece of hair behind her hair that remained stubborn to fall back to where it was. Allie tried relaxing, telling herself that it was only Tony, she had seen him nearly every day these past few months, there was nothing to feel nervous about. But all she could think of was how ridiculous she was in her mismatched socks and her ill-fitting clothes, and how much more handsome he was in comparison. "I mean, I could ask you the same question."

Tony shrugged, a breath bleeding past his lips. "I don't think that anyone around me would be able to keep up so instead, I decided to save a bunch of poor souls from dying of alcohol poisoning by staying at home."

Allie hummed, glimpsing down and scuffing the bottom of her shoe along the reflective floor that threw back her own warped image, wondering if this is where she should leave it, tell him what she came for and that she got it so now she should be on her way, but she didn't want to leave, not now that he was here. Her mouth felt peculiarly dry, eyes pointedly trying not to tack themselves onto him. "Are you alone?"

"For the most part," was his reply and Allie feared she was being awkward on purpose, that he could sense something was off about her and desperately tried to remedy that, swallowing and forcing herself to finally take a glance at him but his eyes were already on her, a ghost of a smile that haunted his handsome face.

"You aren't hanging out with anyone?" she asked, far too open and vague because part of her didn't want to hear the answer, to hear that he was hanging out with someone, one name in particular springing to mind that she pushed quickly out of the way, ignoring the way her heart clenched, a wire tightening around it. It wasn't her business anyhow if he was, but… but she couldn't deny that small selfish part of her that didn't want him to. It ran through her like water, scum on the surface that left its residue on every part of her.

"I think I'm too old for that kind of fun," Tony sighed, sounding weary.

"No you're not!" Allie immediately interjected, mouth clamping shut instantly as she tried to brush it off, a bout of nervous laughter spilling out. In the back of her mind, she could hear Lisa and her words, that frown on her pretty face as she told Allie that maybe she shouldn't be interested in men who were nearly twice her age, but she shoved it from her mind. The thought of ever having Tony know that such a conversation ever took place was enough for her to shove the memory down six feet into the dirt as she tried to loosen up, relax a little and remind herself that she was once able to not be so flustered around Tony before, she could do it again. But under his gaze, she wondered how she ever managed to do just that. "No one is too old for fun."

Finally, a real laugh left Tony and Allie straightened, brightening up that at least she had one small success for tonight. The pale fluorescent light above them highlighted the lines along his cheeks bones that were more pronounced as he smiled, reminding her of just how natural the action seemed to be for him. Then it lingered and teetered off into silence and he was back to studying her again; he seemed tired for a different reason, that the sleepless nights he was finally catching up on were taking their toll in a different way even if it wasn't shown on the surface.

All these months trapped in the same room as him, Allie liked to think she had somewhat of a good grasp on him, his moods and his silent behaviours but now it felt like she was starting over again, that this Tony was a side to him she had never seen.

It made her heart spike and Allie knew that they had never actually been around each other outside of work hours; even those times she would stay behind, her mind was always in work mode and seeing him as Mr. Stark, her eccentric boss who worked to his own whims, but he stood there, waiting for her to say something and her tongue was caught in a knot, tied and trapping her voice. Her face was steadily turning redder by the passing second and she hated herself for not changing out of her clothes or even bothering to brush her hair.

A part of her wished she had stayed on that couch, watching Christmas movies that did little to get her into the spirit of the season.

Then, Tony pushed himself up straight, clapping his hands together as if he had finally arrived at an amicable station of thought and he had that sparkle in his eyes she couldn't pin point, was too busy staring at the fractured shades of brown caught under the light to even bother and try and understand the expression on his face.

"Speaking of fun…" Tony began in a tone Allie dreaded, knowing that whatever he was planning, she was going to be brought along for the fun, whether she liked it or not. But lately, it was a case of the former more often than not. "I think I have a bottle Macallan here somewhere."

An eyebrow arched on her brow at his statement, eyes narrowing in a distrustful way. "Whiskey?"

She watched him turn away, off slinking into the shadows to hunt down this bottle he might have had and she heard him fumbling around for it in the make shift kitchen; after a few moments, she deigned to follow, just to make sure he hadn't fallen into the sink and got caught in the garbage disposable, lingering at the entrance and staring down at his hunched back as he reached into one of the cupboards, head completely caught under it. "1956, I believe."

A scoff left Allie as her shoulder leaned against the doorframe, face twisting at the thought of drinking; whiskey was definitely not her pick of poison, and knowing Tony, he might decide to fire her if she even so much mentioned using Coke as a mixer to water it down. "So, you want me to die?"

His head popped out from under the cupboard and he stood, hand wrapped around the neck of a dust riddled brown glass bottle and there was that challenging look on his face, one both he and Allie knew she wouldn't be able to resist because God forbid anyone try to challenge her honour as a woman who could drink. "Can't handle your alcohol?"

Allie tried not to be reeled in by it, not even as he slipped two fingers around the rim of a pair of glasses and set them down with a clink and damn him, he knew he had her without even needing to try and her spine was stiff, a fire in her eyes as an offended sound left her. Hook, line and sinker, she had fallen for the bait. "I can handle my drink! I'm not a lightweight!"

"You sure?" he cooed, popping the top off and giving her a look as if to say one last chance before he held the mouth of the bottle to the glass, pausing in his pour of the drink and Allie was defiant.

A woman on a mission, Allie marched straight up to the counter and took the glass in her hand, practically shoving it in his face to show she was not messing around, a rather serious countenance about her, sewn onto her face. "Of course I'm sure! It's just one drink."

What were work Christmas parties for if not making bad choices you regret in the morning?


It was three.

Three drinks and she couldn't feel her jaw and he knew it.

Smug bastard.

Allie tried to pretend it wasn't affecting her but it was and Tony was still nursing his first and she had probably put too much confidence in herself as Tony tried to stop her from chugging down her first drink, tried to stop her from pouring a second and being resigned to her deteriorating state as she slowed down with the third. Allie didn't even like whiskey and now here she was, with her boss near midnight and hopelessly pretending to be sober and ignoring that her face wasn't on fire.

Her cheeks were unbearably warm and any minute now this unstable stool she was perched on was going to topple from her uncoordinated movements that had Tony grip her arm to steady her and Allie prayed that he blamed the darker flush of her skin on the drink, was glad he was not one of those superheroes that had super hearing because her heart leapt into her throat at his hand around her arm. She was like a fifteen year old getting flustered over a mere touch, the drink making that twine around her heart all too pronounced.

Because, God, it was so hard to ignore him when she wasn't sober. She didn't even bother trying to hide the way her eyes were wide when he stopped her from making out with the ground, how they darted over his features as he laughed and told her to calm down or else he would take her drink from her. He did eventually, and now all she had to soothe that burn in her throat was a glass of water but it wasn't enough. Her mouth was too dry and the beating in her chest too much that she felt it might burst out onto the counter top in front of them.

She forced herself to get to grips with her bearings, her hands cool as they pressed to her cheeks, pinching and squeezing them with a frown on her face. "I can' feel m'jaw."

"It seems you need to concede to my victory, Ms. Lawrence," Tony said, smiling at her as he took another sip of his drink, the few remaining droplets disappearing into his mouth as his eyes shone over the rim of the glass and her frown deepened into something that might have been a pout.

"Neber – never. I'm fine," Allie ignored, pushing down the need to hiccup and might have gone to slam back the whiskey in her glass before she remembered he had taken it from her and the water was a poor substitute.

Tony shook his head, his hair following the movement and Allie was mesmerised; his hair was getting long again and the ends were curling, boyish and soft as he leant against the countertop, elbow perched and hand cupping his jaw and the way he was studying her made her chest tighten, hands pressed tighter to her cheeks but the touch was warm now, cold banished by the furnace burning beneath the surface. "Are you sure you're Irish?"

An aghast gasp left Allie at the statement, face morphing into an expression of offense and she might have been inclined to reach across and smack him across the shoulder were it not for the fact she didn't entirely trust herself not to fall off the stool and right into his arms.

Oh, maybe she should give it a try them.

Stop it, the sober part of herself chastised the other drunk half and Allie knew she would be digging her own grave in the morning if she listened to the latter. "I will have you know that tha's a very… a very… a not nice stereotype an' you shouldn't be stereotyping people. And I am Irish! Look: leithreas, madra, cathair, sláinte. Tá cúpla focail agam!"

Tony blinked, mouth parting and confusion took a hold of him. It was a cute expression – cute, she repeated, letting the word do rings around her brain and her teeth nearly shattered under the stress they were in as she wired her jaw shut so as to not have her mouth let him know what was currently going through her mind. "I have no idea what you just said."

Allie stuck her tongue out at him, waggling it in smugness at the fact she still was able to remember at least some Irish from way back when she was at school back home. She turned away, the corner of her vision hazy and blamed the way Tony shifted in his chair, clearing his throat slightly as a soft red unfurled in his tanned cheeks on being a trick of her own mind.

She grabbed her water, taking a sip of it and stopping a moan breaking through at the feeling of the clear crystal liquid that unstuck her dry throat, all but gasping for more before realising she emptied her glass, despaired to find out no more was coming out despite how far she tilted her glass back. The angle nearly sent her flying back onto the ground before a hand was on her back, a strangled squawk caught in her throat as Tony steadied her again and sat her upright in her seat.

That unbearable warmth bleed through her face again as she felt his other hand reach up to cover hers around the glass and her mind was too confused before she realised he was trying to tug it from her grasp and she let go, trying to focus on him as he stood with bleary eyes as he refilled it and slipped it to her once more; once she was done chugging, a satisfied sigh left her, feeling more aware of herself and losing that numbness in her jaw.

Tony was scrutinising her with an amused air and Allie didn't even care about the fact he would absolutely be using this as ammunition for teasing once she was back at work because she liked the fact he was eyeing her, liked that he didn't seem put off by her attire and bareface and the braid in her hair that was becoming looser and looser by the second.

A memory piped up, one of him making an offhand remark that he liked her hair when it was down and her fingers were already pulling out the band before Allie was aware of what she was doing, untwining the strands and letting them loose around her shoulders. "What's it like being a superhero?"

Tony groaned, rolling his eyes up to the Heaven as he pushed the bottle of whiskey away, neither of them even managing to make a dent in the drink as he placed the lid back on top, an expression of distaste sewn into his features. "Don't say that word."

"Sorry, Mis'er Stark," Allie said sarcastically, bringing up her hands to act out quotation marks, even though she knew it technically didn't apply to what she was saying. "What's it like being a person who flies around in the sky an' saves people all the time?"

"What is your obsession with flying?" Tony asked her, turning back with his elbow on the table, hand on his jaw and the way he tilted his head cause the light to shine on his eyes and Allie could see that they were hazy, as if not entirely there. Maybe the one drink he had was affecting him more than he let on. She might have teased him about not being able to handle alcohol in his old age but a hiccup forced its way up and prevented her from doing so.

Her hands came down on the table, palms flat and she was staring at him as if they were in an interrogation scene, her eyes narrowing and trying to pull an answer from him. "What's your non-obsession with flying?! It's flying! Was it scary?"

"It took a while to get used to. Lot of mistakes, lot of attempts," Tony told her, wincing as if some of the memories were being unpleasantly forced to the front of his mind before he perked up, an idea running through him as he reached into his back pocket to pull his phone out. Allie was desperately trying to reign herself in but she couldn't help the way her eyes glued to Tony's fingers swiping across the screen of his phone and knew her future self in the morning was going to wring her present self for these thoughts. "In fact, maybe this will give you a kick."

Tony pulled his seat closer, an action Allie cursed him for but was unable to do anything against because his knee was bumping against hers in a way she liked too much and the drink was rushing away on her too fast for her liking and she wished she at least had another drink in her to deal with all of this, these feelings that had a hold on her like puppet on a set of strings.

Then, he was holding his phone out to her, a video flickering across the screen and she drew her gaze down to it instead, grateful for the distraction as she tried to make out what it was that was happening but it was messy, a series of things moving too fast before she caught onto one thing in particular.

"What is it?" Allie asked, hand reaching out to clasp the other end of the phone and leaning down with her eyes squinting. Her mouth fell open as she finally made sense of what she was being shown. "S'that you?"

It was Tony, undeniably so; but he was younger, much younger than he was now and he was talking to himself in the video, trying to hype himself up but Allie's attention was tacking onto him. His hair was longer and had less grey, his face not as wrinkled but those beautiful lines along his cheekbones were still evident, just not as prominent. And in the middle of his chest shone a star – no, not a star, the arc reactor.

She had seen it only in pictures – pictures of Iron Man and of Tony Stark from years ago and it was so bright, blue and glowing in the middle of his chest, right next to where his heart lay and Allie wondered what it might have looked like in person; would it have been as bright? Would it have been cold as the metal that encased it? Did it beat like his own heart, echoes of the soft murmur that fought to keep him alive? Her fingers rushed over the video, dancing over the spot of the arc reactor on video and she couldn't believe he had that in his chest for so long. How could anyone sleep with something shining so bright at all hours of the night? But maybe he had got used to it, maybe it had become another limb to him over time. Allie denied herself the desire to flicker her gaze to his chest, to reach out and see if it was still there even though she knew it wasn't.

"Why, have I aged terribly?" His voice sounded in her ear and Allie nearly jumped, drawn from her contemplation and she had forgotten how close he was, how he was preferring to keep his attention on her rather than the video and she was practically leaned over him from how close her face was to the phone, the ends of her hair just gracing the top of his legs and she forgot how to breathe.

"Like wine – get's better with age, you know?" was her breathy response, in disbelief that it was even her that said the words and a noise pulled her away from seeing his reaction and she watched on screen as Tony's younger self was suddenly catapulted into the air, five feet of flying before his body smacked into the dipped ceiling behind him before he fell to the ground once more, dragged down by gravity. A very unladylike cackle left her, a laugh that turned into a snort as her hands went to her mouth as if to save Tony from some embarrassment but it was too late. "Oh my God!"

He put his phone away, not even the slightest bit mortified or even trying to stop her fit of laughter that left her wiping tears from her eyes as her stomach began to burn from laughing too hard. "You can't ever tell anyone. If this ever gets leaked, I know where you live and who you work for."

Allie placed her hand on her chest, using the other brush away the wetness in her eyes and her voice still shook from trying conceal the lingering giggles that were weaved into her voice. "Don't worry, Mister Stark. I promise with my entire heart that I'll – "

"Your heart is on the other side."

"Oh," Allie said, peering down to see that he was indeed right and replaced her positioning to the other side of her chest, sitting up straight as if to showcase her sincerity. "Don' worry, Mister Stark, I will never, ever tell anyone how you smacked yourself into a wall."

Tony chuckled, nodding along to her fake declaration. "You're so kind for keeping my secret."

"I don' know how you just didn't give up. If I fell over once, I would have given up," Allie sighed, the video still making her giggle in between breaks of her sentence. "And in the sky?! Shit, that's a whole other level."

He was smiling as she spoke, regarding her intently as a huff left her mouth, a puff of air catching on an annoying wisp caught on her eyelashes and he was examining her from where she sat, the gears in his head turning in a way that Allie didn't entirely trust.

"You know," he started, slow and testing the waters. "Maybe you should try it. Get over your fear."

"What? I'm not afraid!" Allie insisted. Her? Afraid? As if.

"Then you give it a test run," he challenged and there must have been some hesitation on his face because his voice took on a reassuring tone. "Don't worry, I'll hold your hand the entire time."

"Really? You better. If I piss myself you can clean it up."

Tony let out a hum, slow to stand and she was quick to following, pursuing him as they weaved their way out of the kitchen, excitement rushing through her and hoping he wasn't just messing. He called to her over his shoulder, waving a hand in the air. "Cleaning up piss won't top the list of the worst things that I've done on New Year's Eve."


"Allison, you need to relax."

Allie was gripping him by the arms with such intent she wondered if his bones would break under her hold, suddenly regretting her decision at taking him up on his offer and all the alcohol in her body that might have given her even the briefest moments of strength was gone and she felt too sober to go through with this. Her feet were strapped in and the weight made Allie feel as if she was going to go straight through the floor and into the ground; she had no idea how Tony was even able to carry this much weight that was strapped to his legs, let alone his entire body and the metal was cold, flush against her and making a shiver run through her body.

Had she been more sensible, Allie might have decided to change her mind and realise that it was probably a very bad idea but as if any sane person was going to pass up the opportunity of being able to fly in Iron Man tech. And Allie was anything but sensible, hence why she ended up here on New Year's Eve, ready for a test drive and grasping onto her boss with a deathly force.

He was holding her by the elbows, steadying her and Allie knew Tony was getting a kick out of the entire situation; first the drink, now this – he was never going to let her live it down. The way her fingers were digging into his flesh allowed her to feel his muscle beneath, the shirt doing little to stop the burn of his skin leaving her scorched, hands no longer trembling from how tightly she was clinging to him. Her stomach was about to give out and she desperately wished she had got another drink into her because this was most certainly not a good idea.

It seemed whatever collective braincells the two of them had managed to disappear whenever they were around each other and they ended up doing things other people would consider ridiculous – like right now for example.

A breath left her, wavering and Allie tried hyping herself up; she knew she wasn't going to be thrown into the air, Tony hadn't even put her in a full suit and besides, he was the expert on all of this wasn't he? He wasn't going to put someone very inexperienced into his own tech if he didn't trust what he had made with his bare hands. At least, she hoped so. She wasn't even off the ground and she was already shitting her pants. "I am relaxed."

Tony was trying so hard not to laugh at her, pressing his lips together as she glared at him through her eyelashes, hoping that there was some fire beneath her glower but it seemed she had failed as his eyes were bright, curved. "You're going to break my arms."

Allie dropped her gaze to her hands, to where they were threatening to tear right through the sleeve of his shirt and she lessened her grip, ignoring how sweaty and clammy her palms were becoming, straightening up and getting used to the foreign feeling of the weight on her feet. "Right. Okay, I'm fine."

"Breathe, you know you can breathe right? That's what your lungs are for," Tony said, talking to her as if she were a child and her very unamused face made no response for a moment. Whatever hesitation she might have had was chased away because she was going to be damned if she wasn't going to rub it in his face that she could handle this. And she could, she definitely did. Allie felt as if she was trying to convince herself more than him by this point.

"I'm fine," Allie insisted and Tony looked as if he didn't believe her one bit, not that she did either but she wasn't about to back out now. Too stubborn for her own good, it's how she lasted so long working for him. She had always been a sore loser and she wasn't about to break her winning streak now; Allie took a calming breath, letting it wash out her nerves that were choking her veins and clogging her throat and gave herself a reassuring nod.

It was fine, he was here, wasn't he? If she were to suddenly fling herself through the roof or smack into a wall, Tony was going to be there and she trusted him to make sure she wasn't going to put herself into an intensive coma from throwing herself into concrete head first.

But then his hands were gone from her and she was holding onto thin air, the heat she had been leeching from him rushed away and her eyes were wide, watching him step away as he fiddled with his phone, grinning that oh so darling smile at her. "Then you don't mind if I just – "

"No! No, get back here!" she hissed at him, trying to reach out and claw him back into her grasp but it was no use because suddenly the ground was gone from her and it took Allie a moment to realise she was in the air.

She was flying.

Albeit only a few inches off the ground but it was enough and her face must have shifted away from exhilaration and into something like horror and regret because Tony was no longer trying to save her from shame as he was laughing, the sound loud enough over the roar of the monstrosities tied on her legs and feet and she was trying to keep her balance lest she end up like him in the video he had shown her. The liquid courage that had put her in this position was replaced by shock and light fear, arms wavering around her like a new born bird trying so hard to fly from the nest and suddenly the ground seemed further away than the few inches that were just out of reach.

A string of obscenities were leaving her mouth, each one falling and pulling another one behind after it as found it hard to focus on anything but the ground that wobbled beneath her and maybe it was a good thing she didn't have that fourth drink after all.

Tony had paused in his laughter and was fiddling with his phone, and she bounced slightly in the air, his eyes following her as she did so, not the least bit quivering beneath the might of her glare that was tightening on him. He was operating it all, a test flight that was safe and kept her secure from her own uncoordinated movements that might have thrown her through the ceiling had he not been the one in control. He cupped a hand over his mouth, shouting over the noise of her swearing and the repulsors. "You're alright!"

Allie shook her head fervently, feeling quite over the novelty of flying. She was never going to take gravity or the ground for granted ever again. "No! Mr. Stark, I'm going to puke and I'm going to aim for you!"

Another bout of laughter left him and it was only seconds later she was lowered to the ground, the thud of the metal echoing as the boots powered down, and she nearly fell forward before Tony started forward, catching her before she could have an impromptu make out session with the floor and adrenaline pumped through her, leaving her drained as soon as it washed out her entire body and she held to him in case he might decide to take her for another spin around the room. His arms were around her, her own on his shoulders and using him as a stand to stop her from crumbling and he was smiling down at her, a smile she couldn't even resist returning.

Allie couldn't believe it, she flew – like, actually flew like Iron Man and all that fear and nervousness that had drowned her in the heat of the moment was gone and she couldn't believe it! She had actually done it, albeit he had actually been the one doing all the operating of the suit, but she had done it! Flew, like a bird would do, like he would do. The thought to ask to go for a second time passed through her mind but her stomach vehemently decided against it.

"You okay? You're looking a little green there," Tony stated, taking in her hair that was more than a little wild and her wide, bright eyes as her breathing steadied, the racing of her heart calming with each passing moment as she tried to comprehend what just happened. Her mind was playing catch up to everything going on and for a brief second, Allie was worried he was right but then the feeling of nausea passed.

"I'm… No, yeah, I'm good," she finally decided, the trembling of her body ceasing as she stood as straight as she could but feeling rather weak in the knees and Tony helped to hold her weight up, arms steady around her and setting every part of her ablaze.

"You want a bucket?" he questioned, already sidling into his favourite past time of making fun of her and her eyes sharpened.

"You want a smack?"

He gave a shrug, her hands on his shoulders following the movement. "Jokes on you, I'm into that."

She didn't even feel bothered to pull a face at his innuendo because the grin pulling at the corner of her mouth was making the muscles of her cheeks hurt and excitement of the entire ordeal was setting in; she wondered how many other people in the world had got the chance that she did to try out one of Iron Man's suits? Allie would never have thought she would get the chance no matter how enticing it might have been but now she did and she was giddy, a buzz beneath her skin. "I can't believe it! Did you see that? I flew!"

Tony's smile mimicked her own and he didn't seem inclined to tease her anymore. "Enjoy it?"

Allie nodded her head enthusiastically, strands of her hair following her and she didn't even care anymore about how she looked, how her hair was a mess, how her cheeks were probably splotched with red, her eyes wild. "Yes! Well, no, but yes! That was amazing! I can't believe you do this all the time."

"What can I say, I'm amazing."

"You are amazing!" Allie agreed immediately, grinning like a fool and feeling like one but she didn't care, and it seemed that he didn't either, seeming rather pleased at her praise and Allie was glad that she didn't spend her entire evening on the couch, was glad that she had decided to get in that cab and hitch a ride over to here. Lisa wouldn't believe it if she told her, would anyone? Then again, who cared? Allie had done it – she had actually flown and in Tony Stark's tech and even to her, if someone had tried telling her she would have thought they were a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.

And the fact he had even offered to let her? It made Allie's heart swell, pressed up against her fragile ribs and hurting her chest and she was slightly taller in these metal boots, allowing her to see him in a new perspective under this light. The ecstatic feeling that had been flowing through her ebbed away, staring up at Tony and realising her hands had moved from his shoulders to his neck, fingers locked at the back and caught in the tendrils of his hair, feeling how soft they were, his own resting in the middle of her back, all but a few centimetres width between their bodies.

Her breath felt as if it was being stolen from her again as she stared up at Tony, ensnared by his eyes and the way she could pick out the flecks of hazel and gold that were spotted throughout, at the faint freckles that blended in with his tan skin and his long lashes that seemed to sweep her away, might have done had he not held her in place.

Allie was all too aware of herself, of where he was touching the spot in the middle of her back, of her own wrapped around him and how close they were, that every breath she took was filled of him, bringing her chest closer, almost brushing up against his as she tried not to drown. Her heart was stuttering, tripping as her throat seemed to close up, trying not to blink in case she missed even the smallest flicker in Tony's features.

Could he see the way her cheeks were warm? Hear the hitch in her breath? She couldn't discern anything in his face, couldn't pinpoint what was going through his mind as the smile on her face began to droop, a dryness in her mouth and Allie felt her stomach turn and tumble, butterfly wings tickling her and she hoped whiskey wasn't staining her every breath as it had her mind, the way she felt drunk on something entirely now. She couldn't even blame the whiskey anymore, it felt long gone from her system and she wished she could say that it was the fact she was drunk, that the whiskey had burned away all sense from her but Allie couldn't believe those half-baked excuses any longer.

Tony's eyes were darting around her, miniscule and taking in the rest of her and the amusement in his gaze seemed to fall away into something else, a crack appearing that Allie wished to delve into but couldn't find the courage to do so. He must hear the thrum of her nervous, wanting heart, must be able to see so clearly into what was flooding through her body, the sudden shyness at how close they were, the way her eyes ever so briefly flickered to his lips before they tore away in something akin to shame. His mouth parted and Allie saw a hesitation lingering in Tony's face, the tilt of his head barely there that she realised she must have imagined it because for a brief second she thought, she had hoped he might -

"Allison." His voice was strange, it sounded like it had not even come from him and had she not watched Tony say it, she would have thought he had not spoken her name at all. She liked it when he said her name, as if he enjoyed the sound of it on his tongue.

"Yes, Mister Stark?" Was that her? So breathless? So frayed and at the end of tethers?

He looked ready to speak, to say something but then his lips closed again and his brow furrowed and whatever expression that might have been caught on his features melted away before she could understand it. "Your nails are digging into me."

Allie's eye's widened and she ripped her hands away from him, ignoring how clammy they were and Tony did the same, taking a step away and his hand went to the nape of his neck, brushing over it as she conspicuously rubbed her palms on her pants. Her face was ablaze and Allie was worried that it would set off the smoke detector and the sprinklers would drench them both. What had she been thinking? God, she felt like an idiot – and he probably thought of her as one as well. Maybe the entire place catching on fire wasn't a bad thing entirely. "Ah! Right, sorry about that."

"I might have a scar or two," Tony half wheezed but he wasn't looking at her anymore; had she made him uncomfortable? Great, now she made things awkward between the two of them and Allie desperately wished for God to open up the ground beneath them and swallow her whole. "You're too strong for your own good."

Allie gave a nervous laugh, running a hand through her hair, trying to tame it and giving her hands something to do because they were achingly empty now. "Hey, it's a good thing. I've won my fair share of fights, I'll have you know."

"How many have you lost?"

"Not important."

Finally, Tony turned back to her and it was him again, the one she knew so well and her fear of things being awkward were dashed, relief all but flooring her. He gave a sigh and then he was gone from her sight, Allie blinking before she looked down to see that he was fiddling with the boots she was trapped in. The sight of him kneeling before her bringing back all those horrible thoughts that seemed to haunt her, peering far off into the distance and trying not to focus on the man before her. "You'd make a poor superhero."

Allie gave a scoff, flickering her gaze down to him, latching onto his crown and she fought the urge to touch his hair, to feel it once more. "I thought you hated that word."

Tony paused in his tinkering and turned his head up, resting an elbow on his bent knee and she hoped the strain in his smile was a thing of her imagination. "I think it's been burnt into my vocabulary because of a certain someone."

"Oh wow, they must be a very smart and funny and beautiful person then."

Tony gave a sound that might have evolved into a chuckle before he caught it, turning back to helping her out of the boots, Allie feeling the pressure of them lessening slightly and his voice spoke so softly she wondered if he meant it to only be for him to hear. "No, just someone who can't kill spiders."

An offended gasp left Allie at his comment. "They have eight legs! And so many eyes!"

"They're tiny."

"The tiniest things are the most deadliest things."

"That's what she – "

"I'm quitting," Allie cut in and Tony stopped once more, looking up at her and gave a shrug, standing up and leaving her still strapped in, clapping his hands together to get rid of whatever imaginary dust clung to the palm of his hands and he began to step away.

"Alright, as your not boss anymore, have fun getting out," he told her, moving away and her mouth dropped open, gaping at him. He wasn't seriously going to leave her here, was he?

"Wait, no, I recant that. Help me," she called out but he was getting further and further away, his back to her now and his hand waved at her over his shoulder. She gave her legs a tug but it was futile and a groan left her.

"I'm not your boss anymore," Tony hollered back, ready to leave her and his hand was at the switch, as if to forget her in the dark like one of his many pieces of machinery. Bastard.

"Mr. Stark!" the whine left her and a pout formed on her mouth, trying her best at a doe eyed look of pleading to get him to come back because she had no idea how to get out and Allie knew if she tried that she would end up most definitely breaking the thing, or causing it to explode. Probably both.

"Allison," Tony said, mimicking her whinging tone and pout, a stare down initiating between them as if waiting for the other to break; Allie never wavered, not even as her eyes began to tingle from how long she wasn't blinking before eventually he conceded, sighing as if he was being dealt with an impossible task, sauntering back over to her while he smiled in thanks as he knelt back down. "Don't say I never do anything for you."

"You don't, anyways," Allie muttered to herself but the sound carried and Tony turned his head up sharply.

His eyebrow raised as he pointed down at her feet. "You want help, or not?"

"Yes, please. You're so kind and amazing and such a great boss," Allie gushed, clasping her hands together like a lovesick maiden and laying it on thick, before she felt the release of her feet and she was finally free, stepping back away and glad to be rid of the weight holding her down.

Tony stood, a grunt leaving him as he did so. "That's more like it. I wish more of my employees were like you."

"Beautiful and hilarious?" she said cheekily, wiggling her toes and following his as he made his way out, pausing at his side when he switched the light off behind them. She was dying for another drink but ruled against pouring herself one; she already made enough embarrassing mistakes for the time being, she didn't need any more for herself to deal with in the morning.

"That, and unwaveringly loyal and inflating my ego," he responded as they made their way back to the kitchen, sidling into their previous seats and Allie did a twirl on her stool, knees knocking against the counter. She didn't even know what time it was, whatever tiredness that might have settled into her bones seemed to be long abandoned, too wide awake and too aware of the man beside her. Technically, she was still on vacation and by the time she left, it would be another few days before she would get to see or talk to him like this, so she took her previous time, enjoying every moment possible before the clock ticked away to tell her it was time to leave.

And Allie didn't want to leave, not here, not him. Not now, not ever – she only hoped he wasn't annoyed at her and had outstayed her welcome but Tony had not said anything, didn't seem to prove her worries right.

"That's my Christmas present to you."

Tony screwed his face up, looking as if that he would rather drink motor oil instead as he grabbed her glass and his in both hands, their drinking game long forgotten. It felt like they were playing a different game now but Allie didn't know the rules, didn't know the play. "I want a refund."

"No refunds, only exchanges."

He refilled her glass, placing it down in front of her. Allie could get used to this – maybe she should get herself a personal assistant to work to her own whims and get her glasses of water whenever she wanted. "I want an exchange then."

"All out, I'm afraid," she said after taking a sip, a not so sorry expression on her face.

"This is a shitty system," he complained, muttering as if he regretted letting her out in the first place.

"Well, this is the United States."

Tony gave a laugh, and Allie was glad that the awkward air she had thought she had put between them had long since dissipated. That moment she had been caught in was nothing more than a fleeting second that she would tuck away close to her heart, to a place he would never see and never know. "Were you one of those activists in college that would protest everything?"

Her college days seemed a blur even though she was not long out of it; she never really did get the full experience of it since she had barely gone to any parties and never ditched a class to have a sleep in. In comparison to Lisa who had been more of a party animal, Allie had felt lame that she never went out and did her part in making the campus a breeding ground. "No, I was the person who went to the library and slept because my roommate kept going at it like a wild rabbit."

Tony sighed dreamily, a faraway expression cast on his face, hand on his heart in fondness. "Those were the days."

"So long ago, right?" she teased and he glared at her from the corner of his eye.

"You're being mean to me on Christmas," he sniffed, a feigned air of hurt around him and Allie couldn't help but roll her eyes, her smile curving around the rim of her glass.

"It's December 31st."

"It's still Christmas, you grinch," Tony countered and she clicked her tongue, taking another spin of her seat and glad that the drink had long since worn off and she no longer had to rely on Tony as he had countlessly prevented her from falling on her ass onto the ground.

She stopped her spin and gripped the counter, arching an eyebrow. "Now who's bullying who?"

Tony gave a hum, taking a mouthful of water, examining the clear liquid in his glass as if he wished it were something else, something stronger and even gave the forgotten bottle of whiskey a glance but then it was back to being ignored. "You know, this most be the most tame Christmas I've ever had. I can't remember the last time I stayed in for New Years."

Oh, now that did pique Allie's interest; she placed her elbow on the table, cupping her cheek on her hand, giving Tony her full attention. No matter what, it seemed he always had a hold on it in some shape or form. "How come?"

"Once I was old enough," he began, still glaring at his less than stellar drink and she wondered if he was going to continue at all when a pause initiated between his words, his chest filling with a deep breath before it left him in a wave. "I always left the house because I hated how quiet it used to be."

His words left a silence between them and Allie stared at him for a heartbeat longer than she should have. Her voice was soft leaving her, a seriousness taking hold of her. "How did you cope?"

Tony did not respond immediately, chewing on his words as if to see how they tasted, if he wanted to say them at all before he turned his glower from the water to the bottle of whiskey that was sitting, gathering only more dust that coated it. It seemed as if he was far away from her, lost in a tidal wave of memories that were not known to her. "Not in a good way."

Tony turned to her once he finished speaking but she was already glued to him, caught on the way the lights overhead made the wrinkles in his face more prominent, making him seem older than he was, weighed down by something that gripped him. Her heart felt constricted and she knew, of course she knew; she would have been a fool not to. Her stomach felt too empty and the corner of her lips tugged down. "I get what you mean."

Tony shifted in his chair, as if too aware of what he had said and the air between them and forced a half smile that didn't reach his eyes. "What's your tale of despair then, Ms. Lawrence?"

What was her tale of despair? Or rather, what could she tell him?

Not the truth, not entirely; she wouldn't have been able to force it up without the bitter taste of bile following after it and Allie couldn't bear to look at him as she spoke. It wasn't lying, not entirely, but it still felt wrong, wrong to not let him know, wrong to keep a secret hidden from him. But she was used to it, she had learned to get over that guilt that had wracked her time and time again, had learned it was better this way, to offer up all that she could without having to manipulate her words into a reality that simply did not exist no matter how much she wished it did.

Allie swallowed, glass in hand and twirling the bottom of it on the counter, observing how the water followed her movements as she deliberated for a moment; what could she tell him? It felt like a line was being crossed, a tiny voice in the back of her mind telling her bosses and employees didn't go about telling each other such deep and close kept things about each other, that they didn't go drinking at all hours of the night, that employees definitely didn't feel as if the world had melted away to nothing once they were in the same room as their boss.

But then again, they weren't normal like all those other people. It was different, he… he was different. And Allie could trust him, trust him like how she trusted Lisa.

"The same as many others, I guess. I didn't grow up in a happy house," Allie began and the words came out of her so easily, as if they hadn't been tied up within her for so long, chained for fear they might slip out to the wrong person. But Tony wasn't the wrong person; to her, he was so much more than he realised and it would be something he would never know, something he could never know. One day, when she was long dead and buried, they would open her casket up and see it all still clung to her decayed carcass, etched into her very bones. "My father was controlling, and my mother was too obedient. Angry dads and alcohol don't seem to mix together well."

A brief pause. She peered up and he was looking at her with that deep rooted seed of understanding. "They don't."

It felt impossible to stop now, not when he made it so easy to bare it all to him and she might have sobbed with the relief at telling him, at finally letting it all out. Lisa knew but only the bare minimum that Allie would allow her knowing and now Tony knew too, he knew and he understood in a way Lisa couldn't, in a way Allie was glad her friend didn't know because no one should have to but he did.

"My mam was… I don't know," Allie sighed, a hand going through her hair again and snagging on a few knots. There was so much to say, but she didn't know how to say it right. Around Tony, she never could, especially not with how he was considering her. "She didn't really seem like a real person some times."

Tony nodded and his face had fallen from that usual, boyish amusement that always seemed so permanently etched onto him. "I was lucky to have my mother, but sometimes it felt like she was too quick to defend my father, to give excuses and to ask me to understand."

Allie perked up and her head moved in agreement enthusiastically because yes, yes that was exactly it; her heart leapt at the fact he knew, he knew without her having to say and it felt like some part of her, a part of her that felt like it had died when she was a child, was sobbing in finally having someone else know, that someone else could look at her and say me too and that it was real. "Mine too. What is it with mothers marrying shitty men?"

"Must be something in the water," Tony joked and it pulled a laugh from her, one that felt so real and genuine, one that felt good because she spent so much of her life never laughing and being around him made it seem like she was making up for lost time.

Then it lilted off, a ghost echoing it back to her before it died too and they were left sitting and staring at each other, a burden on Allie's shoulders lifted and the smile on her face morphed into something else the longer she held his gaze, brows furrowing together, a crease digging into the space between. "You didn't deserve that, Tony. I'm sorry."

She hadn't meant to say it out loud but then her voice was already leaving her mouth and then it was too late; Allie clamped her lips shut, worried she might have overstepped but Tony didn't admonish her, the way he was regarding her was as if he was doing so in a new light, that she was suddenly a different person before him. Maybe she was, after all these months being around him, Allie certainly didn't feel like the same person she was before she had met him.

Then, he spoke. "You didn't either."

Her mouth was dry and her throat closed up, voice stolen from her and her heart stopped, missing its ever steady cadence to mimic the shock at his words, mind reeling and her hand gripped the glass so tightly that Allie feared it might break entirely in her palm but it remained together, unbroken. It felt different, hearing the words from someone else other than the broken record in her mind that had failed in trying to convince her of that for so many years, but now that he had said it, she couldn't help but believe him.

Tony cleared his throat, raising his glass up slightly. "A toast then – to shitty fathers and shitty drinks."

Allie smiled softly, doing the same and their glasses were brought together, a brief kiss and the clink sounded throughout. "To shitty fathers and really shitty drink."

"That drink cost more than your college tuition," he admonished and Allie cast a peek to the bottle that had caused her more grief than she should have liked.

"All that money for shit drink?"

Tony shrugged, picking the bottle up by the neck and wiping off some of dust that clung to the surface, the drink jostling about within and despite his attempts to defend its honour, he looked as if he couldn't help but to agree with Allie on it not being up to standard. "I felt sorry for it on the shelf all by itself."

A snort left Allie. "I'm surprised you haven't started taking in stray dogs."

He placed the bottle back down, tutting as he pushed it as far away as he possibly could. "No, I have a habit of taking in young women who can't hold their drink."

A gasp tore through Allie's lips as she placed a hand on her heart (on the correct side this time as well). "Ouch, and on Christmas?"

"Technically, someone told me it's December 31st," he shot back, turning her own words on her and Allie's scowl did little to scare him off. Then, he sat up straight, as if a thought had run through him and he was digging in his back pocket again, fiddling with the screen for something that Allie couldn't see, but she hoped it was another embarrassing video of him hitting into a wall again. "Speaking of, while we're here."

Tony set the phone down and she turned her eyes down only to see that playing was the Times Square Ball dropping and she had completely forgotten – it was New Year's Eve and they were ringing in the new year. How long had she been here with him? It must be hours at this point, but it had all flown by so quick, too quick for her liking. She couldn't stay here for the entire night as much as she wanted to; but she wouldn't think about that, not right now. The people on the screen were beginning the countdown and Allie decided that this was perhaps the best New Year's Eve she had in a very long time. "Might as well."

The countdown began, the ball dropping ever so slowly, a new year awaiting for everyone and Allie had never looked forward to it before, had never really had seen the point of all this excitement about the date changing since she had spent the last few years going out and getting drunk with Lisa, not even aware that the year had changed because of how much to drink they had. They had gone once to Times Square and they had decided the next morning while Allie was hunched over a toilet and Lisa on the bathroom floor beside her that they would never go again.

But as she and Tony watched the people scream, calling out five, four, three, two, one, Allie decided that perhaps she would indulge in a new year, a new her. She hoped Lisa was having as much of a good time as she was, wished that life was always like it was now even if she knew time was running out, that she had promised herself that by the time summer had come around, she would be gone. But for now, Allie didn't think of that, didn't think of leaving Tony, of leaving everything.

And as if hearing his name in her thoughts, Tony turned to her, the corners of his lips turning up gently. "Happy New Years, Ms. Lawrence."

If anyone else had heard Allie say that she had spent the last night of the year with her boss, drinking and laughing with him, they might have said that it was sad, but Allie didn't care. Because Tony was right – it was a happy new year, and she grinned, ignoring the fact her eyes felt a little wet. "Happy New Years, Mr. Stark."

She turned back to watch the stream, at the way people were yelling and shouting, hugging and kissing and it felt as if the world had never nearly ended at one point, that aliens hadn't poured from a hole in the sky that was torn open above them.

Then, Tony piped up again. "Oh, and Allison?"

"Yeah?" She said, not yet tearing her gaze away from the screen to look at him, watching the confetti drown the crowd, taking sips of her water that she didn't even care was not alcohol anymore. On the bright side, at least she wouldn't be nursing a bruising hangover the next day.

Tony did not speak for a moment longer than she expected, forcing Allie to check to see if he was even still there but he was, his seat pushed next to hers and by the time her eyes were on him, whatever had been lingering at the edges of his features had disappeared and he was smiling that boyish smile again. "Happy birthday."

Allie sat stunned, too floored to speak as his words rushed over her, mouth parted but no sound came through. How had he known? How had he even remembered? Allie didn't even remember as she woke up that morning until Lisa had said it to her, throwing her arms around her friend and giving her a kiss on the cheek before passing off her present to her. She never used to celebrate her birthdays, Lisa had to practically pull the date from Allie because she saw no point in celebrating it, not when her birthday landed on one of the biggest days of the year and her being born was hardly an important even over it.

But Tony, he had known, he had remembered – how? Why? Her chest felt tight and a stone was lodged in the bottom of her throat, choking her but Tony had already turned back to watching the livestream, completely unaware of Allie's undoing, that he was the cause of it all. That tingling in her eyes worsened and she was tongue tied, too surprised to get her voice out of her. Did he just exist to surprise her all the time? Those feelings she wanted to keep wound tight behind her ribs burst, clogging her veins and making her all too aware of them. Tony had no idea what he was going to her, for a genius, for someone who liked to build things, it felt as if he was breaking her down.

She studied the side of his face, unfocused and ignoring the way her eyes were wetter now, blinking rapidly to dispel the feeling of it and she dug her voice up, dead and old as the quickening in her chest worsened. "Mr. Stark?"

He had no hesitation in turning his attention to her, that same smile on his face. "Yes, Ms. Lawrence?"

Allie had a brief moment of deliberation, of wondering how she could tell him, how she could explain it all, the feelings, the way her entire existence seemed cradled in the softness of his gaze but couldn't, didn't know where to start, where to end. How could she ever hope to convey it properly when she could barely fathom it herself?

She floundered, not sure of where to go, what to do or say and she thought of Lisa that morning and how she had greeted her with a smile, that if Lisa had done that to her, then maybe it wouldn't be wrong for Allie to do the same to Tony since they were friends after all, weren't they? Shyness crept up on her, nearly taking her spine with it but then Allie darted forward, tilting her head as the distance between them closed and her lips found his cheek, brushing up against his skin, his stubble slightly scratching but the kiss was quick, barely there, a breeze that stole her breath away before she pulled away, heat flushing in her cheeks and her ears, wrapping around her throat.

Tony sat still, as if he was unsure if she had actually pressed her lips against his cheek at all, staring at her with uncharacteristically wide eyes but no more than that, no quick quip, no smart remark at all. The phone lay on the counter as forgotten as the drink, the murmur of the crowd drowned out. She could still feel the burn of his skin against her lips and Allie wondered if she had gone too far, overstepped a boundary and he would tell her to get out but he didn't.

Tony stayed there, stone and still and staring at her, a tension between them that she wished she was more capable of dissecting.

Her voice was delicate, fragile as it spoke. "Thank you."

It seemed as if he was brought back to reality, blinking and giving his head a minute shake and his breath left him in a rush. When he smiled, Allie felt like it was the best birthday present she ever got. "My pleasure, Allison."


I want to thank you all dearly for reading this story and offering me words of encourage (no this isn't a note to say this story is being abandoned, it's just me being sappy and full of emotions so don't worry!).

I just want you all to know I appreciate every follow, every favourite, every review. I started this story when I was a teenager and now I'm in my twenties and I'm closer to Allie's age than I am to my own when I started this story. My writing has grown and so have I but your kinds words of love and support have always been the same.

I suppose this chapter was written as an outlet for my mental health. I'm a few years past my expiry date and I never thought I would make it to this age. I think I'm more so weirded out I'm catching up to Allie in age now and will eventually surpass her.

Thank you all, deeply from the bottom of my heart. I know I say thank you and it means a lot all the time, but it does. I hope you all know that every time you leave a comment it makes my day, my week, my life, all that much better.

In the words of Bo Burnham: Thank you. I hope you're happy. Goodnight and happy holidays.