Ah. . . . After billions of years, boredom still reigns on this earth. . . . Probably why fanfiction was invented, eheh

Now where were we? Kisame's dare? And I'm writing this while watching FMA in Japanese so don't be surprised to find a typo or two. There's a bit of DeidaraxSasori fluff here, so don't flame me. (The previous statement reminds me of Roy Mustang, haha)

Truth Or Dare chapter 4

Akatsuki HQ

Deidara was busy organizing the Akatsuki mission records when he got an IM from a chatmate.

"What's this? Shika-kun?"

He (yes, HE! I decided he'd be a guy. . . but to be on the safe side, he'll be feminine like Haku!) checked the window. It wasn't Shikamaru, but it was an acquaintance of his. . .

dara-chan(akatsuki): Shikamaru?

shadownin(konoha): This is a pal of Shikamaru's. You know where Itachi and Kisame went?

dara-chan(akatsuki): Yeah, supposedly to the hokage's birthday party or something. No one had any missins today, so it's boring around here.

shadownin(konoha): Well, I'm sending you pics of what's going on.

Deidara proceeded to check his email.

"Oh gosh. . . . This is gonna make great blackmail material!" squealed Deidara.

dara-chan(akatsuki): . . . . . . .LOL! Sankyuu! Sasori and the others will love this!

Sasori wondered why on earth his partner was sniggering wildly in his room. He opened the door. . .

"Oi, Deidara, you'd better have a good reason for all that noise." said Sasori.

"As if this wasn't reason enough?" snickered Deidara.

Sasori took a good look at the screen. His eyes widened to the size of Lee's eyes.

"Uchiha Itachi? In. . . Ribbons!" said the astounded Sasori. "This is great, Deidara! Who knew you were so good at doctoring photos?"

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it, Sasori-kun. . . I'm starting to understand your views about art." smiled Deidara.

"NOW you get it. . ." said Sasori. "This is why cameras exist. To combine both our opinions on art."

"They also exist for blackmail purposes." laughed Deidara, enlarging the picture of Kisame and Anko.

Sasori's eyebrows raised. "I had no idea he was interested in younger women."

"That's not the only one." Giggled Deidara, playing the recording of Orochimaru.

5 minutes later. . .

"The snake guy liked PINK! And he's interested in that hermit crab subordinate of his?" laughed Sasori. Sasori was not a man that laughed often.

(Note: for those who don't know, Kabuto means hermit crab. It can also be translated as a kind of beetle, or as a kind of military helmet used by samurai. But this is not a Japanese language class, so let's go back to the fic.)

"Sasori-kun, can I send it to the other members?" said Deidara cutely. (I find Deidara cute!)

"Don't you 'Sasori-kun' me. And what you do with your email is your business." said Sasori. "Just make sure I get a copy of those document, okay, Deidara-kun?"

"Hai!" said Deidara, chibified.

Sasori looked at the missing nin with a big smile on his face. Sometimes, he thought that joining the Akatsuki was the best decision of his life.

"Ne, Sasori-kun, can we go to the party? Speaking of cameras, I bought a digital one that I want to try out. . ." said Deidara.

"Fine, fine, there's nothing to do here anyway." said Sasori.

"Yatta!" said Deidara. "Party crashing!"

Iruka's house

It had been about five minutes since Kisame's dare was assigned.

"What kind of stupid dare is this!" said Kisame, doing a handstand. With one hand. Gamakichi (remember Jiraiya's small red frog?) and Gamatatsu (the small yellow frog) were sitting on the soles of Kisame's feet.

"Keep quiet you, I like the view from up here." said Gamakichi.

"Onaka suita. . ." said Gamatatsu. "I'm hungry."

"You keep quiet as well, Gamatatsu." Said Gamakichi.

"And what exactly am I supposed to do next. . . .?" said Kisame.

outside

"This is hilarious!" said Naruto, rolling around the ground in laughter. Indeed, the genin were all quite amused. The adult nin were almost twice as funny as they themselves were.

Neji was continuing Naruto's job of emailing the scandalous data to Deidara, and various others. Tayuya was online as well. It seemed that even as powerful as they were, they hadn't managed to kill ANY of the sound five, with a possible exception of Kimimaro, who was bedridden. Tayuya had kept contact with Shikamaru after the incident, and often played Shougi (Japanese chess) online.

flutemaster(Oto): Hey. . . How'd you get my id?

cagedbird(Konoha): Hi tayuya. It's Neji, I'm using Shikamaru's computer.

flutemaster(Oto): Hyuuga? Ok, what's with this file you sent me?

cagedbird(Oto): Open the recording.

Oto, Kimimaro's room

"Tayuya. . . What are you doing?" asked Kimimaro.

"Chatting with the Konoha genin. Don't worry, I won't give anything away." She replied. Tayuya clicked the recording.

"Taku, get well already, Kimimaro!" said Kidoumaru, entering the room. "Huh? What's that?"

The recording played. . .

. . . and all three laughed.

"O-orochimaru-sama. . ." said Kimimaro, laughing so hard, several horns began sticking out of his back.

"Control yourself, you porcupine!" giggled Tayuya. "We don't want holes in your bedsheets like when Jiroubu ate those oranges!"

"He had about four in his mouth at the time!"

"Let him laugh!" chuckled Kidoumaru. "I hear that happy patients heal faster. In any case, who'd have thought the Otokage himself was in love with Kabuto of all people?"

"Anyway, now that we know he's gay, we'd better be careful around him. . . Seeing the age difference of those two, I wouldn't want to be a guy right now. . ." smiled Tayuya.

The two teenage boys expressions changed from that of humor to shock.

"Who sent that to you anyway?" said Kidoumaru.

"That Hyuuga guy you fought. He bumped into some pals of his who happened to be spying on their sensei's party, and lo and behold, two Akatsuki members PLUS our dear Orochimaru-sama and Kabuto-nii-san were there."

"Now how did he get that recording?" wondered Kimimaro.

"Don't ask me. All I know is that they're playing truth or dare." said Tayuya, who continued chatting with Neji.

"Do they happen to have a webcam?" asked Kimimaro.

"I'll check. . . ."

flutemaster(Oto): Ne, Hyuuga, do you happen to have a webcam attachment somewhere?

cagedbird(Konoha): Not sure. Let me check. . .

"Oi, Kiba! Any chance of a webcam connection on one of the cameras?" said Neji.

"I think so, let me check the cameras." said Kiba, who was beside Naruto and (now) Sasuke, both laughing themselves crazy.

inside

"Blech!" said Kisame. "You want me to drink this horrible stuff standing upside down with two frogs singing the Macarena on my feet!"

"Yes," said Jiraiya. "Although the Macarena part was rather unexpected. . ."

"And it's just tea." said Tsunade. "This stuff's delicious."

"Kisame only drinks soda and seawater." said Itachi, smiling. (Cue fangirls! Get earplugs!) "Sometimes, both at the same time."

"Ew." said Anko. "No wonder your skin's blue."

"Better blue than green." said Kisame, who continued drinking the tea.

"GREEN IS YOUTHFUL!" shouted Gai. "Let us all sing in celebration of our youth!'

And so, Gai-sensei joined Gamakichi and Gamatatsu in singing the Macarena.

". . . . You're right." said Anko. "But you can't help laughing at it, can't you?"

outside

"GAI-SENSEI! How youthful!" said Lee.

"Not you too!" said Sasuke. He detested the Macarena.

Around that time, Gaara was walking about in that area.

"Naruto?" he said. He jumped the fence, and saw the nin.

"Gaara! Take a look at this!" said Naruto. He was highly amused.

Gaara looked at the laptop, subconsciously grabbing a copy of the 'Kakashi Unmasked' picture, which Lee had been printing.

"T-this is. . ."

"Great, isn't it?" said Lee.

Gaara sat down between Lee and Neji, just as Kiba came back with a rather suspiciopus-lookin wire. . .

Oto

Kidoumaru and Jiroubu were playing poker with Sakon and Ukon (let's say they found a way to separate the two) when the webcam was fully operational.

"Hey! You guys!" said Tayuya. "The webcam's working!"

The boys quickly rushed to the table.

"H-hey! I'm missing all the action!" said Kimimaro.

"Jiroubu!" said Tayuya, without taking her eyes off the screen.

Jiroubu walked over to Kimimaro's bed and lifted it with ease. He dropped it in front of the computer table.

With Kimimaro still on the bed.

"Be careful!" said Kimimaro.

back to Iruka's house

"Finally!" said Kisame, who was about to spin the bottle when. . .

outside

"Oi. Hyuuga. Recognise those two?" said Gaara. (Note: these events took place BEFORE the kidnapping incidents and stuff)

"No. But they're definitely Akatsuki." said Neji. "That one that looks like a girl is probably Deidara."

"Nani?" said Sasuke. "More Akatsuki?"

"Now that they're closer, I recognize that other one." said Gaara. "That's Sasori, from Suna. He made Kankurou's puppets."

Deidara noticed the genin in the bushes.

"Hi! Are you the guys who sent me the blackmail material?" he said cheerfully.

They froze.

"Y-you're a guy?" said Neji.

"Reminds me of Haku." said Naruto.

"Yeah, we sent it." said Sasuke coolly.

"Domo arigatou!" said Deidara. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Are we crashing this party or not?" said Sasori.

"Hai, hai." said Deidara, waving at the boys.

inside

knock knock

Itachi, who was nearst to the door, answered.

"Uchiha-dono!" said Deidara cheerfully.

"D-deidara. . ."

"KISAME!"